My son is 3 years old and is autistic. I haven't been able to get him to eat any meat of any kind in the last three weeks. He has had some issues before with limiting his diet to certain foods but he's never given up a whole food group. He speaks mostly in echolalia and cannot communicate so he can't tell me why he won't eat meat and I can't explain to him why he needs it. He has limited his diet to bread, PB&J sandwiches, macaroni and cheese, corn, goldfish, Cheetos, pretzels, and crackers. Sometimes he'll eat plain noodles like spaghetti without the sauce or Ramen noodles.
Most people don't understand that a 'problem eater' is not the same as a picky eater, and the best advice that I get is, "if he's hungry, he'll eat.". He won't. He'll just go hungry. I've been doing some research and have found that this is very common with autistic children but that it can lead to health issues. (I should say that I do have an appointment with his pediatrician in a few days.). I'm kind of at the end of my rope with this issue. I have tried 'hiding' meat in his food but he'll either find it or taste the difference and that can lead to a meltdown.
I'm looking for advice from moms who have experienced this. Any ideas on how to get him to eat, alternatives that will give him the nutrition he's missing out on, or recipes that with meat hidden in it would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you so much for all of the responses. It has been very hard introduces new foods to him as he's not open to trying them. He also doesn't understand the concept "try this and then I'll give you what you want. " (He can't communicate verbally.)I know quite a few people were concerned about his lack of fruits and vegetables. The only vegetable that he'll eat is corn but I've been able to get him to eat crackers with vegetables baked into them. As for fruit, he's allergic to a lot of them. His fruit mostly comes from juices and yogurt.
The good news is that I've taken him to the doctor and she says he was growing and progressing fine. The even greater news is that he's slowly adding a few things back into his diet.
Well if he doesn't eat meat offer alternatives (like beans, nuts, eggs, etc.) I have vegetarian family members and they are by far the healthiest people I know.
Wish I could give up meat but I'm too much of an Iowa farm girl at heart, I love my beef...
I have three kids, none of them are autistic. I just fed them what they like. I'll never understand the food battle. They all went through phases where they would only eat a few specific things. So I just gave them those things.
Food is not worth conflict. Get something in the kid's tummy and be done with it.
Give the kid what he likes, and a supplement. And have a peaceful household.
:)
I hear your frustration. First I would find out from the pediatrician if there are any concerns about your son's weight. If your son is continuing to develop and grow, I'd be less concerned about whether he's eating meat. Kids change, their tastes change... I don't think that's uncommon at all in children.
I would focus on what he does eat and enjoy. If he likes peanut butter and can eat it, I would definitely feed him that. Another good food is cheese. I'd try and focus on your son's strengths with eating. Too many kids have eating issues because of these types of issues.
Sounds like you are doing a great job, mama. Just talk to the pediatrician and get his/her blessing. Ya never know, your son may be eating meat again in no time =)
I work with dementia / Alzheimer's patients who are also very hard to communicate with and will go hungry before they will feed themselves. It's also very common with them to suddenly leave out entire food groups, or food colors. It's usually a consistency issue, or an obsessive issue. The good news is you can substitute meat, which is generally speaking a non-essential for a healthy lifestyle, with other foods. The frustration is that you DO eat meat and it's hard to try to accommodate a problem eater constantly. The best thing to do is to make sides that will make up for the amino acids and proteins in the meat dish. If you're lucky enough that he still eats veggies this will be fairly easy to do. Quinoa and broccoli with some cheese is an excellent meal for our meatless friends, and there's always eggs and stir-fry. Don't be surprised if he eventually will only eat one kind of food. It won't last forever. Autism is unique in that the person is still there, still available. But they see the world differently than we do. He's also still a little guy, and every single one of my four children has gone through the "terrible two's", or three's, or four's. They are asserting their independence, and that doesn't exclude your little guy. So just try to always look on the bright side, take a deep breath, and enjoy him.
I agree that there are non-meat ways to get him protein... tons of vegan and other options out there.
If it were me, having had a child for the last several years who didn't eat any meat other than eggs-- he's 8 now and is just now coming round to ham and turkey lunchmeat--- really, don't sweat it. Kiddo is just fine and healthy. We have always offered him a well-rounded diet and not made a big deal out of it. He'll eat just a few veggies one day and then tons the next. Mac and cheese--- you can add shredded cheese for more protein on top. A side of almonds or other favorite nut. Eggs are a godsend in our house-- right now, Kiddo only really wants soft-boiled ones; last year, he liked scrambled but only cut up in strips, not fluffy-type scrambled. Whatever. He's got some sensory stuff going on too... the point being that meat is not the only way to get protein into him. Consider using protein powder in smoothies and shakes. I'd be making smoothies with that if it was the only thing he'd eat. You can also make high-protein smoothies with tofu, too.
My older kids constantly make jokes about their younger brother's diet. He can love a food one week and hate it the next. He wants only this...for weeks on end. He is 16 now and actually enjoys trying new foods. He doesn't always like the new foods but he is always open to trying them. I don't think that would have happened if I make food our battle.
He is 6'2, skinny as a rail, so the latest jokes are all the hormones in his nuggets much have spurred the growth, he is 2 inches taller than his older brother who wasn't a nugget addict.
So I am saying don't sweat the meat. You will find one he likes, then he may hate it again. I don't know if you do this but don't limit yourself to "healthy" options. Finding foods he likes will be a huge pain in the butt so make it as easy on yourself as you can. It will all work out.
To give you some idea as to how well it does work out, he picked out tomato plants for the garden he likes to eat, we planted two blackberry bushes so he can graze in the backyard like his little sister. He still does not like steaks with a lot of gristle but will eat the better cuts. He loves fancy hamburgers, like with a lot of garbage on them and in them. All forms of chicken, most mild fish. Loves!! shrimp! He eats salads and fresh spinach but doesn't like cooked leafy things. Pretty much he eats a wider variety of foods than the average 16 year old. I am so glad I never made food a fight with him
Oh my god Gamma!! I don't know why your stupid suggestions still shock me but feeding tube?? In a few more weeks he will start eating meat and stop eating something else.
He doesn't need to eat meat, so this is just not a battle I would fight.
He does need to get plenty of protein, but he can get that from peanut butter, cheese, yogurt, eggs, beans, etc.
Does he eat fruits and vegetables? That would be more important to me. You didn't list any, so if he's not eating them I would try to find ways to incorporate those.
Pasta is fine. Whole wheat pasta is better. Our son likes plain pasta with parmesan cheese on it :-) You could also try alfredo sauce.
Overall, I really would try not to worry too much. Most kids do go through phases. Glad to hear you will be seeing his pediatrician soon. You can ask some really specific questions about how much of this is actually related to Autism and what you can do for him.
I have an 8 year old autistic boy who did not eat meat until about age 5. He was 6/7 before he would eat what everyone else ate.
The only thing I can recommend is to keep trying with your son. Offer foods always but hiding as you know doesn't work. We had to use nutritional shakes(Pediasure)and a multivitamin to help with my son's intake. If possible try to offer beans, yogurt and cheese.
Wish you the best. Know that you're not alone & meltdowns will happen change is always close to impossible.
A lot of kids have issues with texture, and kids with autism often have sensory issues as well. If he eats mac & cheese, use whole wheat macaroni and add some protein with some pureed tofu or add veggies by adding pureed butternut squash. Use whole wheat bread for the PB&J. Will he eat raw or roasted nuts, like cashews and almonds?
He doesn't need meat. He needs protein. This is a good opportunity to branch out. My step kids ate hidden food all the time. The meat has too strong a flavor, but tofu has virtually no flavor if you mix it with other things. I just put in in the food processor with cottage cheese or ricotta, and used it in lasagna. You can puree it into smoothies, and add a little plain cocoa (10 calories), some milk or soy or almond milk, berries, even kale.
I'd really limit the Cheetos, Goldfish, etc. - there is zero nutrition in there and a list of ingredients an arm long. Those are problematic for many people, but particularly awful for kids with autism. Try triscuits which are just whole wheat, a little oil and a little salt; the pretzels might be okay in small quantities. Add slides of real cheese to the triscuits or a handful of nuts to the pretzels so there's some protein and not just filling up on pure carbs.
My friend's son with autism is often hungry at night (related to meds) so he takes an apple to his room at night. PB on an apple is always good. We also use a children's supplement that is actually a complete food, without additives and emulsifiers, that can go in juice or milk or smoothies. Most of my friends with kids on the spectrum find this a life changer.
At least the peanut butter is a good protein.
He eats a lot of carbs.
Cheetos, pretzels and crackers might be too much junk food.
What about fruit and veggies?
He should like some mashed sweet potatoes.
Try him on beans and/or refried beans too.
Maybe you can work with a nutritionist to help get him on a balanced diet.
He doesn't NEED meat if he doesn't want it.
Peanut butter is a perfectly good source of protein, as is cheese, both of which he seems to happily consume.
Do you work with a therapist on food aversion? If not, I think that's a pretty standard therapy option for autistic kids given how common food aversions and oral defensiveness are in kids with ASD - many textures and flavors are too overwhelming for some kids to process.
He doesn't "need" meat, many people live healthy lives without it. Look for alternate sources of protein for him that he might like more. From the list of foods you provided, it appears that he is a fan of foods that dissolve easily. All of the foods that you listed can be dissolved in the mouth and/or swallowed with little to no chewing. My guess is that it might be a texture issue - meat, even ground meat like in meatballs, needs to be chewed. So maybe other nut butters (almond, cashew) on bread or crackers, beans (mashed if he doesn't want to chew them), hummus, cream cheese or a soft cheese like goat cheese (delicious with a bit of honey or jelly), yogurt, etc.. The fact that he likes peanut butter and mac and cheese are great.
I think of greater concern than the missing meat is the lack of fruits and vegetables in his diet. He's getting lots of carbs and some fat and protein but not the nutrients and fiber from produce. I know that this is a very common problem for ASD kids so an OT or food therapist can let you know how to work around that (applesauce, bananas, avocado, juice, smoothies or a high-quality supplement might be good options).
One of my cousins has autism and he went years with a very, very limited diet due to strong oral defensiveness. Working on increasing his tolerance to textures and flavors was part of his ongoing therapy and at age 13, his diet is now much more varied and closer to what is typical for his age. He still has more quirks than is typical, but I only know about them because his mom will talk about it. It's not something one would notice casually.
He doesn't need meat, he needs protein.
My kids have never eaten meat spare the occasional bite just to see what it is like. We do eat fish once in a while but I wouldn't say that's a major source of protein, they get theirs through plants and some dairy.
Do some research, there are many forms of animal and plant based protein that are better for you than meat. Frankly, most of the American public should limit their red meat consumption, it's just not that good for you.
Ask your pediatrician, or a dietician/nutritionist at the hospital, about an eating program. My daughter had severe aversions to food due to her medical issues and her health was at risk. She went through an eating program where she was first evaluated by professionals (a psychologist, nutritionist, occupational therapist, nurse - all specialists in her particular age group), her eating habits and preferred foods were all notated, and she was observed. It wasn't stressful for her - the room was pleasant, the tables were low for kids, and they made it seem like fun, when all the while I knew they were evaluating her. Then they developed a program for her, tailored to her needs. She attended two or three times a week. Some days they introduced a new texture. Some days she had to taste different types of milk (almond, soy, organic, etc). Some days she had to try a mystery food that she didn't know anything about, and she had to try and describe it (she's verbal so that wasn't an issue): was it salty, sweet, crunchy, soft, etc? And some days she had to feel the food with her finger, and talk about how it made her feel. Some days were guessing games. You get the idea. They helped her tremendously. They had recommendations for me, and often I was included in the "taste trials".
Most large hospitals have pediatric eating programs for kids who are problem eaters for a variety of reasons: anorexia, autism, swallowing difficulties, sensory issues, trauma, medical issues, etc. Please try to find one. If your pediatrician doesn't know of one, call the nutrition or diet counselor at the hospital, or get your pediatrician on board to help you find one, or call every nutritionist you can find. This will help you alleviate the stress and help your child eat as healthfully as possible.
They'll also do a medical evaluation to make sure that what he will eat is not leading to any deficiencies, and that's a huge help to moms who are dealing with this. I know, it's difficult. But a food or eating program can be a great help.
Do some research on vegetarian diets. Find out good sources of the things he would normally get from meat, like protein, and try to incorporate them if he'll let you.
It's a fact that people don't need meat..."I" like meat and find it sad when people accuse me of killing Bambi to feed my thirst for another's body but geesh! I like meat.
I understand your child needs to eat a balanced diet and you struggle with this.
That might be something you have to address with a feeding tube or something where he can get the nutrients he needs.
I feel for you. I understand. My 4 year old is autistic, only talks in song from tv shows and movies, and has SPD as well. Our 5 year old has anxiety to anything new including food, and SPDs as well.
So, I know what you are going through. I am assuming that your son ins't allergic or intolerant to dairy because he eats Mac and Cheese. That makes your life SO much easier, you have not idea! Both of mine are intolerant to dairy and soy.
My guy eats anything dry and crunchy with heavy flavor. Garlic Triscuits, Movie Theater Orville Reddenbocker's microwave popcorn, home made popcorn with real butter once in a while. NO other flavors. Peanut butter ritz crackers, chicken nuggets sometimes, french fries, no other shapes, no jo jos, no chicken strips, a banana once in a while, apples, chips, Cesar flavored dried processed peas, Oscar Meyer turkey hot dogs (nitrite free) and cookies. His developmental pediatrician suggested Nutter Butters as a good protein source.
To supplement his nutrition we do a chew vitamin, probiotic gummy, and Viactivs. He also drinks Neocate, Jr as a nutritional formula. He uses this instead of like Pediasure because of the dairy and soy intolerances.
I would recommend seeing the nutritionist that works with Autism and your developmental ped. They understand the reality of what they will eat. She should be able to help you get a prescription for like Pediasure so that you medical insurance will pay for it. Or, WIC should cover it, if you are receiving it. (this is where we get the Neocate at $60 a can.)
No, he doesn't need meat, but he does need full balanced nutrition. If I can help, please feel free to PM me.
And, yes, Gamma is correct, a feeding tube is a possible reality! The formula our son uses is what goes in the feeding tube, he just drinks it instead. I worked with SPED students all last year, and 2 students with Autism did have feeding tubes as teens.
autism and food issues are a difficult problem to deal with. if he won't eat meat then check into a vegetarian diet. there are many vegans and vegetarians out there that are healthy and eat a well balenced diet.
my cousin is midly autistic and has food issues. for him its a texture thing. (he is in college now and can communicate well. so we are able to ask him and get answers too)
the pedi will also be a good start to finding ways to assist your son, but beware, my pedi said pediasure and the nutritionist said its a no no: the child will get used to drinking their nutrition and may stop eating altogether so be careful if you choose to suppliment with a drink or a vitamin
a nutritionis will also be able to give insight on eating well with or without meat.
also with my cousinwe have noticed that he went thru phases with food likes and dislikes.. so it may not last forever.
Ask your pediatrician for alternative protein sources. He doesn't need meat right away. The Peanut butter and cheese will do fine for now. And this is a common thing for ALL kids his age, though the food sensitivity thing can become more of an issue for our spectrum kiddos.
Here are a couple of sites that should have helpful info for you re. the sensory issues around food and autism: autismspectrumexplained.com (created by sisters, one autistic, one "mostly neurotypical"), and autistikids.com - created by me because I have quite a few family members on or near the spectrum. The "understanding autism" has a sensory section that has a few links about eating challenges. You can also use the search.
Both sites link to OTHER sites, and many blogs are by autistic people who have experience with particular issues from the "inside" - the autistic perspective. It can be REALLY helpful.
Also, re. the echolalia, please visit adiaryofamom.wordpress - mom of a daughter on the spectrum who uses echolalia as a primary method of communicating. Do a search on echolalia and several helpful posts should come up. The mom also has a facebook page and does answer comments, so you may be able to ask her directly about things. Her daughter's 11 now and in the last few years has been expanding her communication into "novel" communcation.
Presume that your son CAN understand you and work from there. He may not be able to communicate to you that he understands in a way that you can understand, but better to presume he can and be wrong than presume he can't and be wrong.
Another great site that has info on echolalia is musingsofanaspie.com. It's by an adult aspergers woman who has personal experience with echolalia and communication challenges. Very informative.
Please feel free to email me at ____@____.com and I'll see what else I can find on the food challenges and echolalia if you like.
My kids eat some meat, but I'm a vegetarian (except for very small amounts of meat when I'm being polite to people who make it).
On a health level, there is absolutely no problem with him not eating meat. Vegetarianism is as old as the hills. Your healthy fats and proteins come from:
All nuts and nut butters
Avocados
beans
hummus
Quinoa and other whole grains that are proteins (google it)
eggs
cheese
yogurt
there are many others, google vegetarian proteins.
Protein deficiency is very rare and not often found in vegetarians.
Put small servings of what he must eat on his plate first and he doesn't get the cheetos and other empty processed carbs 'til he eats the nutritious food. For instance I'll put a little raw broccoli, baby carrots, apple slices, strawberries, cooked veggie, hummus on a plate, and tell the kids when they have FINISHED those, they can have the dang noodles and carbs (they'd eat only carbs if I allowed it) when their plates are EMPTY.
My 3 kids were EXTREMELY PICKY at 3 (still are-they've skipped their fair share of meals because of it) but I'm in charge of what they eat when they are in my care.
The PB&J is actually a very balanced meal in itself Serve it on the best whole grain bread, buy the healthiest organic, low sugar peanut butter and the best low sugar jam. Serve with a glass of milk. He could eat it at every meal and be fine.
My kids were very picky, although not problem like yours. I did find that taking them to a buffet restaurant was the best way to get them to try new foods. I let them choose what they wanted and they always tried something new and liked it.
My nephew is a problem eater and he is now 10 and has never eaten meat. Or veggies. He has lived off of some fruit, cheese pizza, and vanilla yogurt his whole life. He has never learned to like any other foods yet he is growing very well and is a healthy looking kid. It amazes me that this is all he eats. Sometimes we all will go a a restaurant and if he cannot get one of these foods he just eats nothing and then eats when he gets home. So, I guess I have no advice for you. I would be concerned about nutrition too. One thing I have recently learned is that some pediatricians are terrible with nutrition advice, but hopefully yours will have something useful to say. I wonder if there is an expert on autistic kids and eating and nutrition that you can schedule an appointment with?
