My Almost 3 Year Old Wants Attention?

Updated on August 05, 2010
M.G. asks from Grosse Pointe, MI
7 answers

I'm having a very rough time understanding my almost 3 year old. When he's playing with his cousin or friends from school he takes away the toys that they are playing with to get their attention; he pushes and hits (even thought his intention is not to hurt but to get noticed). He ALWAYS wants stuff that everybody else has..all the time.I don't know if I'm doing or not doing something wrong at home. He has a 6 month old baby sister and I do spend more time with her because she requires more attention. Also, I find so hard to make him listen to me, if I say NO, he says YES! He's usually a good boy but recently he's acting out and he misbehaves more when other people are around. Another thing is that if he gets hurt doing something you would think he would learn the lesson and not do it again but no! he seems to forget how much it hurt...I'm afraid he could get really hurt.
I feel very sad because I don't know what to do ='(.... It seems to me that I'm not doing a good job WHAT I'M DOING WRONG?

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C.M.

answers from Detroit on

Sounds normal to me. To most toddlers...everything belongs to them.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.W.

answers from Kalamazoo on

I'd recommend reading either Parenting with Love and Logic or Dobson's Updated Strong Willed Child. Both give great ideas on how to deal with a kid that just doesn't seem to get it. And also let you know what things you need to "tighten up" on in their discipline/training. :)

http://www.amazon.com/New-Strong-Willed-Child-James-Dobso...

http://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Love-Logic-Updated-Expand...

1 mom found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Dallas on

That sounds like a very typical 2-3 year old! My goodness if I had a nickel for every time my 34 month old has taken a toy from another child or told me no, I'd be a very very wealthy lady! He probably DOES want some extra attention, but the way he's acting is very normal for this age group. Try taking an extra few minutes to do a puzzle, color a picture, do some playdoh, etc. at various times of the day to give him a little extra time and a few extra hugs and kisses never hurt. ;)

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C.B.

answers from Detroit on

Maybe consistency would help. Maybe less concern with the little sister when he's misbehaving? What I'm getting at is as moms with newborns, we are prone to showing the baby more attention. Normal. But the possibility that for just a few moments the baby will survive while mom disciplines big brother. Consistency. If he has time out for bad behavior, keep taking him to the time out room/chair/space until he stays there. Explain when his time is up why he sat there, get a hug from him, and explain it will happen every time he is naughty. That goes for when he's with other kids and acting inappropriately too. Don't let him get away with it. Take back your control. He's been the sole child for a while, so he probably resents having to share you. Sharing obviously has carried over into other interactions.

Updated

P.S. I agree with everyone: typical behavior for a 3 year old.

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A.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

That sounds like a pretty typical 3-year-old to me! I thought 3 was worse than 2 so I'm not sure where they come up with the "Terrible 2s!" Keep trying to set him straight, teach him right from wrong and give yourself a break. You're doing a good job and keep your head up becasue 4 is better than 3 so you'll eventually get through this. Good luck!

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P.O.

answers from Harrisburg on

Typical 3yr old who is territorial. He also has a younger sibling that requires your attention. You have to try to divide up the love and attention, because he does need it. He will test you. Try playing around with him, play hide and seek, pretend you and the baby is hiding from him. He will likely get a kick out of that. Put on something active and fun for him to jiggle to, let off that energy. Once you give him a little attention and he feels "safe" and needed again, he will give you a break

K.H.

answers from Detroit on

It sounds normal to me. 3 year olds don't typically understand that everything isn't theirs. They still think the world exists FOR them. There are plenty of books out there in dealing with behavior in toddlers that can help you to understand what is going on and deal with it effectively. Marta W. recommended 2 and if you search Amazon you'll find plenty more.

All-in-all I don't think you're doing anything "wrong". There is a reason they call them the "terrible 2's" and "terrible 3's"! :)

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