My 9 Month Old Gets up 3-4 Times a Night...

PLEASE READ THIS IN IT'S ENTIRETY FOR YOUR DAUGHTER'S SAKE, EVEN IF IT HITS A SOUR NOTE IN YOU. My sister's baby did the same thing until her baby (opps, toddler) was almost 1.5 years old. I'm certain you'll get many moms whose babies did the same thing. Why? Because there are so many moms out there who do not want their babies, toddlers, and teenagers to (God forbid) experience any of life's unpleasantries. Please do not feel I am attacking you. Please, please do not feel that way. However, understand that should you continue giving in to your baby's nighttime demands, you will be giving in to her every demand for the rest of your life, and you will have on your hands what is referred to as an "Adult Toddler." That's what my sister's daughter is now. During the time of my sister's daughter's infant and toddler crying spells, my sister became so exhausted she couldn't think straight (she wasn't thinking straight in the first place). My sister and I were pregnant at the same time, had our babies at the same time (both girls), and just happened to be at our Pediatrician's office at the same time (had the same Pediatrician). In front of my sister and our Pediatrician, I offered to bring my sister's daughter home with me for the night to give my sister the rest she so desperately needed (I'd offered many times before). Dr. Pedia expressed that it was a wonderful idea. With tears streaming down my sister's face, and almost in hysterics (sleep deprivation can do that), she blurted out that I would let her baby cry (which I would have). Dr. Pedia's response to my sister was, "Jane, for the 50ith time, let your baby cry! It won't hurt her in the least!" Well, my sister did not let her baby spend the night with me, and because she continued in catering to her daughter, all the way through adulthood, her daughter (now in her early 20's) is miserable. She dropped out of school, is on anti-depressants, enjoys nothing, does not want to work as she feels she shouldn't have to (I wonder where that came from), smokes pot, steals, and if she doesn't get her way, makes everyone around her as miserable as she is.
You stated, "I am happy to wake up and comfort her when she needs it,..." She doesn't "need" it. She "wants" it because she gets what she wants when she wants it. And who wouldn't, at any age? If someone were willing to come into your room at night each time you cried out, to comfort and please your desires, wouldn't you keep doing it? Please forgive me, but I get the feeling that Mom is the one who truly "wants" it or "needs" it, as this should have and could have been nipped in the bud months ago. I realize you feel this is not harming her in any way, but you are setting the stage. At 8 months, she's the one in control, and if not nipped, will always be.
My 2 grown children were once 8 months old, and I love being a mother in every aspect of their lives, just as you. However, as difficult as it was, I raised my children in a way that was best for them, not for me. My daughter is the total opposite of her same age cousin. My daughter is outgoing, looks forward to new and exciting things, finished college, works full-time and loves it, is responsible with her money, and handles life's "unpleasantries" in an adult way. My son is the same. I give God the glory. Good luck, and May God Bless, Tico&Taco

My girls both woke up a ton as infants and at almost 2 and 4.5 they still occasionally do. Don't listen to anything but your heart. If she is waking up and you want to go in and nurse her, you should. She is only young once. She'll go through stages where she'll wake up a ton and then in a few months, she'll sleep through the night and you'll think you've got it all figured out. And then she'll be teething again and wake up a ton again. And you'll wonder what happened to sleeping through the night. And then when she gets older, she'll have nightmares etc. I always went in and nursed my girls when they woke up and it didn't turn them into "terrible sleepers" later on. It helped them feel safe and loved and secure and now for the most part, they are both sleeping great now. Don't worry what any other mothers say about sleeping through the night--some babies get teeth at 5 mos., some at 9 mos., some at 15 mos. Same with sleep. Nobody is better. Just different (though those with early "through the night sleepers" can come across as a bit smug, can't they?) They are all so different. My nephew didn't sleep through the night until he was over two. My sister always comforted him and let him know she was there. And now at almost three, he is sleeping though the night fine. He just had to mature into a normal sleep pattern in his own time.

Mine was the same way...that's def normal. Even during the day it happened until i talked to the lactation nurse again...I then started to nurse him longer. rubbed his cheek to keep him awake (not hard just enough to arrouse him) long enough to nurse on both breasts. (this will keep your milk from drying up faster too.) He then started to sleep longer at night and have longer wake periods in the day. I know you didn't want advise to keep her asleep but it's healthier for you both. you will wake up at first just to see if she is breathing cause she hasn't cried-that's totally normal too.lol. best of luck and God bless you! oh and plus there will be growth spurts that she will need to feed every2 hours this should only happen like 1 every 3 wk or so. it's frustrating but hang in there. you seem to be doing awesome at that.

I'm not sure what time you put her down to bed at night, but it could be that it's too late. Overtired babies wake at night often and have restless sleep. I think when my son was 9 mos old, he went to bed at 7:00 and slept 11-12 hour stretches. A lot of people think that keeping them up will make them more tired, when the opposite is true. Anyway, I don't know if this is your situation, but I thought I would throw it out there as a possibility. Hope this helps!

Sounds like she is used to you getting up with her, and she cries b/c she is expecting you to come in a nurse her. Most babies at that age wake up in the night, they just go back to sleep on their own. I know my son, who just turned one still does. I can hear him kind of mini-cry and moving around in the middle of the night. Sounds like he's searching for his passie in the dark, and when he finds it he goes right back to sleep. And there are sometimes that the cry is not mini at all, and I go in there to comfort him. Most times I just pick him up and he goes back to sleep so fast it's almost like he passes out in my arms. So, I'd say normal, yes. And I know you said that you're not interested in any sleep training, but maybe if you go in and just try to comfort her first, and see if she'll go back to sleep it may cut down on the times she is awake at night. You'll both rest better that way.

K.,
She is more than likely a little hungry but also tired enough that she isn't fully awake and so just a little nibble settles her down....the first time she is up, keep her nursing for longer, tickle her feet, rub her back, what ever it is that keeps her awake enough to nurse but asleep enough that she will go back to bed. You may want to see if she will take a bottle for the middle of the nite feeding as most times milk from a bottle is less "work" so she will take enough to satisfy her tummy easier.

Good Luck,
T.

I'm with many of the other moms who have commented: it's normal for breast-fed babies to wake up several times a night like this.
My son just turned one and he now wakes up once a night, but this has changed only in the last week. I am still nursing him.
For gentle, gradual ways to get your baby to self-soothe back to sleep, "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley is full of great ideas. I've used lots of her suggestions. You can pick and choose and figure our what works for you. Congrats on breast-feeding this long! It's worth it!

My daughter did that. You have established a habit, namely, baby wakes up and wants mommy to sooth her back to sleep. I started night weaning at that age, offering water instead of a boob. She quickly stopped waking. Also, make sure you put her down awake, drowsy, but awake. Work on getting rid of the first wake up, and then work on the next time. My daughter would fuss a little, but she would calm down and take the water.

there are many reasons a baby wakes and we don't always know why.
There is teething, hunger, them being sick, separation anxiety, night terrors (which happens when older), hitting milestones, changes in cognitive & motor skills, and ALL those developmental based junctures which does affect and tweaks their sleep.

I have 2 kids, and when that age, they woke at night too. I saw it as normal... and just par for the course. Babies are growing and developing so rapidly, that is it not easy for "them" either. ie: growing pains.

9 months old or so, is a "growth-spurt" time in a baby. They get hungrier and more frequently, and need to feed.

Next, when your baby wakes & "cries"... is it REALLY crying/screaming... or her just making intermittent noises as she is sleeping? There is a difference. Many times, babies make noises also, during sleep and they can intermittently "wake" seemingly, and make noises or sleepy noises... but if let be, they will fall back asleep. BUT, if your baby is actually WAKING and crying, then go comfort her or nurse her. Nothing wrong with that.

Per our Pediatrician, for the 1st year of life, a baby's PRIMARY source of nutrition is breastmilk or Formula... NOT solids, and not other liquids, and they need to be fed on-demand.
Not all may agree with that.
I fed my kids on-demand for the first year... I saw it as par for the course, and my kids are fine and healthy and grew like weeds. They both also had ginormous appetites. Each baby being different.

If your baby only "nurses" for 2-3 minutes... this is not a deep nursing.. or maybe it is because you may not have a lot of milk? Do you know for sure that your milk supply is still going strong? Some babies may nurse frequently because (1) they need to and it is a growth-spurt or (2) lack of milk supply and not enough intake. Or, maybe she is teething? This wakes babies too.

Do NOT compare your baby to others. It is not all babies that sleep through the night at this age. MANY don't. And that is still normal.

Next, over-tired babies/kids also do not sleep well and over-tired babies/kids also wake more often. Also, over-stimulated babies/kids do not sleep well either. So...it is also important that baby naps. Does she?
And, have a regular consistent routine and bedtime, daily.

All the best,
Susan

This could have been my post 3 years ago with my first son and 1 year ago with my second son. I nursed both of them for the first year and they both went through this fairly long stage at this age of waking up several times each night to nurse. I think it was just comfort nursing because they could have slept through the night without breast milk. They stopped this when I stopped nursing. The good thing is that is does not last forever and eventually you will get more sleep. I also was not in favor of sleep training and eventually they will learn to sleep through the night. As for all your friends whose babies sleep through the night. . .I also heard the same thing from my friends but I also wonder if that was really true. Many mothers seem to think it is a symbol of great parenting if their baby sleeps through the night. We seem to create some kind of competition among ourselves. I did not stress about it too much, especially with my second son because I knew it would end eventually.

I have an almost 2 year old son who was doing the same thing at that age. Eventually the sleep deprivation became more than I could take and I started to look for different opinions about this. I found the book the no cry sleep solution. It is not a cry-it-out method. It involves everyone in the family and it is a wonderful resource. Even if you feel you are doing well it isn't good for you to wake up that often during your sleep cycle and your daughter shouldn't need to eat at night now. Also I can tell you how hard it is to wean when they use the breast like that at night for comfort. I didn't mind helping my son out either but once he got teeth at a year I had to be worried about decay by letting him nurse that often at night. Unless you brush her teeth (if she has any) after every feeding you are putting her at risk too. I still co-sleep with my son and he only nurses once a day now when he first wakes up. I think that he would still be waking up to nurse at night if I had not taken that first step to start night weaning. Most other moms that I have talked to have also felt that the child will never initiated sleeping through the night. I am here to talk if you have any questions. Also know that you are not alone and you can continue to comfort her at night for years if that is what you choose.

Hi K., you are not alone. Both of my children did this. In fact, my ds did not sleep through the night until he was about 3. My dd does this too. Don't worry, no one is doing anything better with different strategies. Just go with what is comfortable for you and your baby. This is such a short time in their lives - enjoy! Hugs for the lack of sleep for mom ... I understand! D.

This is Dr. Sear's article on ideas to keep your baby asleep. Good read!

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070300.asp

My middle one did this, he was a constant nurser. Since he did this we decided to bring him into bed with us. I was getting really run down from the lack of sleep. Once we did this we all slept better because there was no more getting up/down, lights etc... This child was very active during the day, we also tried giving him a snack before bed and that seemed to help also. We usually did something like graham crackers, cheerios etc... nothing to sweet or heavy. The other thing we did when trying to get him to sleep in the crib was put a shirt of mine in the bed with him. It had my scent and he would always rub it between his fingers. Make sure if you try this that you choose one without buttons or any thing that she could choke on. Good Luck and remember you need sleep yourself. If you don't take care of yourself,who will!

I wouldn't feed her at night when she is that old. Healthwise- she doesn't need the food. She should be getting plenty during the day. Go comfort her and hold her, but I wouldn't feed her.

At nine months old, your daughter has the capability of sleeping through the night. It sounds like she is in the habit of waking up and using you as a pacifier to get back to sleep. If she is only nursing for a few minutes, then she is obviously nursing out of habit, not hunger. I can respect that you don't want to let your daughter cry, but at the same time I don't think you are doing her any favors in the long run. Learning to self-soothe is an important skill that she is going to have to learn at some point. Why not now?

Out son did this but would only eat for a minute. Our pediatrician told us that we needed to put him down sooner because his sleep cycle was all screwed up (he was also only taking 30-45 minute long naps) so we did and we now have an all night long sleeper. I agree with other posts, he wakes up off and on at night and goes back to sleep after just a little bit of noise.