My 6 y.o DS Having Tonsillectomy in the A.M and I Am Soooooo Scared. Help!!!

Updated on June 11, 2013
E.M. asks from Washington, ME
18 answers

Hey Mamas. My son who is 6 is going to the hospital in the morning to have a tonsillectomy and adenoidectomy. The main problem is his adenoid, its blocking drainage and he is having constant sinus infections. He had a really bad case of tonsillitus earlier in the year and was sick for 10 days. His gag reflex is really strong and he cant even open his mouth wide to show me his throat without gagging, which I believe is from the big tonsils. He also drools alot, which I think could be caused by his big tonsils too. As well as some obstructed breathing during sleep. He missed 26 days of school this year due to constant upper respitory infections. Anyway, his ENT recommended taking the tonsils too, since alot of times kids end up having to go back in to have them taken out later on, and its better to do it all at once.

I have been reading as much as I can about the procedure and talking to other moms about it, and even though its the most common surgery amoung children, I am so so nervous about it. I made the mistake of watching some youtube videos about it and read some medical literature as well and I was suprised to find that the mortality rate for a T & A is 1 in 15,000. That seems really high to me. I am so scared that something will go wrong. I am doing my best to keep confident and reassuring for my son, but its so hard when I am scared too.

He has already been put under once for anesthesia before, and he did well with it. I am mostly worried about bleeding afterward and pain management. Has any mamas been through this before with their little ones? I would greatly appreitate any advice, i am almost on the verge of canceling his surgery because I am so nervous about it.

Thank You :)

Thanks!

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So What Happened?

Update:
My DS did go in for surgery this A.M. I wanted to thank everyone for taking the time to give a mama some advice :) I was very nervous but was able to take a low dose anti anxiety med and we both went through the surgery with great success. My little guy did great from start to finish and he is resting now as we speak. They didnt give him anything for pain, apparently the ENTs dont recommend the tylenol with codeine anymore because it can slow down breathing and some kids have a bad reaction to it. He is eating a little and drinking is really rough. I also struggle to get the pain reliever into him, but it seems to be doing its job. His attitude is so great, he is such a trooper and doing much better than expected. You know, the worrying is usually the worst part!
Thanks Again.

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B..

answers from Dallas on

Don't cancel! He will be ok!

There are wise words here.

Make drinking fluids afterwards, fun. Get crazy straws, fun glasses, good stuff to drink. Make crazy shaped ice cubes and get the kind of glass that freezes stuff into a slushy. good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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C.W.

answers from Washington DC on

He will be fine. I wish my ENT would have taken out the tonsils when he did the adenoids. Stay on top of the pain meds, and someone told me that ice pops were better than milk based ice cream at first. My ENT hadn't heard of that, but I guess the theory of the milk based ice cream is that it causes phelgm and that increases coughing and bleeding. Lots of pops and try to keep him from being too active.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Why would you allow your son to suffer more? Why would you condemn him to pus and pain for no other reason than you were afraid? He needs you to be strong for him. He needs a mom who'll look at him and know his life is miserable with his body like this. He needs a mom who will stand up for him and say Let's do this and get better!

5 moms found this helpful
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P.K.

answers from New York on

Do not cancel because you are nervous. That is nuts. Your child deserves to be better. Why would you want him to suffer????? It's a T & A. Very routine. He will be uncomfortable for a few days but it will change his life for the better. So put a smile on your face and give your son the life he deserves. Out sick 28 days! That should tell you something.

Stay off the Internet. It will always give worse case scenarios.

4 moms found this helpful
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W..

answers from Chicago on

GET. OFF. THE. INTERNET.

You are freaking yourself out for no reason. Being CONSTANTLY riddled with infection is a KNOWN problem for your son that WILL cause many more issues down the line. That's 100%. Not 1 in 15,000.... Which btw is NOT all that likely. Here are some other odds for you:

1 in 2,232 odds of fatally slipping In the shower.
Will you not let him shower?

1 in 10,000 injured by a toilet
Where will he now use the bathroom?

1 in 23,000 odds of child being in a fatal car accident
Better stay inside. You can be in a fatal car accident even if you aren't in a car, so if you leave your house this stat is the same.

1 in 4,472 odds of dying on a bicycle

See? You can't look at statistics. Because 1 in 15,000 means that out of 15,000 surgeries ONE will go wrong. That means 14,999 will go fine.

4 moms found this helpful
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M.L.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Your being nervous is not a reason to cancel surgery.

It's not at all unusual for a parent to be worried about sending a child into an operating room. But you know the facts; do NOT let your emotions rule you. When you see the doctor, you might mention that the Mama is more nervous about this than the patient; you can probably expect a smile and a little more reassurance.

As for the bleeding and pain management, ask for instructions, and ask questions about those instructions. And ask for a phone number to call if you have more questions later.

This is an age of information, I'm told, but that doesn't mean all the information is good to read. Now you know better, right?

3 moms found this helpful
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K.H.

answers from Reno on

Awwww! I'm sorry you are so scared mama! I know how you feel. Due to our son's health problem he had to have an MRI on his brain recently and go under for 45 minutes. Oddly enough I too was more freaked out by the anesthesia than by what they might find. A tonsillectomy is super safe and common. Just try to calm down and take a friend or hubby to the hospital with you to help distract and comfort you. Prayers!

3 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Our son had his tonsils/adenoids out right after his 4th birthday.
He did fine!
It's imperative to keep up with the pain meds for the first few days then after that the hardest thing to do was to keep him from running/jumping around for the rest of the week.
Just bury your worry for your son's sake (he'll pick up on your mood).
For our son the Dr explained the procedure.
They went in with a hot loop of wire and that cuts and cauterizes at the same time.
We had no issues with bleeding - we had no issues at all.
Our son had HUGE tonsils that almost touched each other across the back of his throat - they were not infected, but they had become an obstruction which was interfering with his swallowing and breathing.
After they were out I kept checking his breathing for a few days as he slept.
He snored something awful before the operation and afterward he slept so silently I had to get use to him not being noisy while sleeping.
Once healed up he could eat, swallow, breathe and sleep effortlessly.
The perpetual dark circles under his eyes went away and sleeping better and more deeply made him a very happy easy going kid.
Having them out was the best thing we ever did.

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

I will be saying prayers and second, I had this operation done about fifty years ago when they didn't have as great a medical knowledge about everything and I'm still kickin. We mamas worry so much don't we? so grab some magazine and not a medical journal and read it while you wait. Give yourself a hug from us.

2 moms found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

Being a parent s not for the faint of heart. He is going to do great. If you need an anti anxiety pill, call your doctor.

My husband would not consider these procedures for our daughter for so long, she ended up extremely ill. I made the arrangements. His mother came with Valium and held his hand.. Our daughter did great, no problems.. It changed our lives.. No more problems with infections, breathing and loss of hearing..

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

My daughter had tubes placed in her ears, tonsils and adenoids removed all at the same time when she was four, due to repeated ear infections, one of which caused her eardrum to rupture.
The only problem she had with the surgery was that on waking, she didn't see me and started to cry, making her throat bleed. Once I was brought in ans got her calmed down, she was fine.

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S.T.

answers from New York on

Take a deep breath. Sounds like the mortalitiy rate is about the same as for 6 yr olds riding their bike on a park bike path. (meaning to say not a big deal) there will be a small amount of blood on a pad on his pillow when he comes to (they use only twilight anesthesia which is very much lighter than what's used for "real" surgery like abdominal, heart, brain, etc.). The amount of blood loss is about the same as if he fell and scraped his knee good. it looks like more becuase it's coming out with saliva - and there's much more spit than blood. Also since they'll have an IV saline drip he'll have more fluid than usual so there will be much saliva - and a small proportion of it will be blood.

As for pain relief - your doc will give you medication for him. Follow his lead. cold slippery stuff will make h is throat feel better. Smoothies, slurpees, ice pops. But I think he needs to spoon them not sip from a straw as I recall. For the first 48 hours it hurts like a bad sore throat. But it gets better. Buy some frozen berries and other fruit and put it in a blender with some fruit juice. he'll get some good cold stuff that will feel good and he'll get the nutrition of all that fruit.

He will be fine - if you manage to survive <smile>.

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K.H.

answers from Phoenix on

I had my tonsils out when I was small. It was fine. One thing, though, I distinctly remember was everyone (parents and doctor) assured me before the surgery that there was only going to be a little pain afterwards. They lied. It really hurt. Don't lie to your son. Just let him know that it's going to hurt for a few days but he's not going to get sick like he used to. And get ice cream! LOTS of ice cream!

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A.C.

answers from Columbus on

Hugs to you!

My nephew had it done before Christmas last year, for similar reasons, and the most important thing his mom said was to stay on top of the pain meds. Stick to the schedule and don't skip or cut back, unless it's doctor's orders. And to drink lots of fluids, even if it hurts, or he can get dehydrated (my nephew did, and ended up getting kind of sick from dehydration).

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K.W.

answers from Seattle on

First, you need to take care of yourself. You seem to be worrying about this way, way more than is normal. Are you prone to anxiety attacks? If so, get yourself under control. Your son will just feed off of your anxiety.

The anesthesia is the most dangerous part of the equation. If he's been put under once before and was fine, this should alleviate the vast, vast majority of potential issues.

My 3yo daughter had tubes and adenoid removal in December. This is a slightly less complicated procedure and recovery, but is basically on the same level. She was fine going in, fine in surgery, had a rough period in the recovery room (nausea and pretty unhappy for an hour or so), and then was pretty much fine. She insisted on walking out of the hospital, insisted on riding the elevator before we left the hospital, was "out of it a bit" when we got home, and was pretty much normal the next day.

Keep the appointment and get it done. The short amount of discomfort certainly sounds like it will be overwhelmed by the long term health benefits.

Good luck.

ETA: And to followup to Zelda's response. I think they are far more liberal in giving pain medications to kiddos these days. Pain management has come a long, long way. If you keep up with the meds they provide to you, there should be some discomfort but little to no acute pain. (With us, they recommended an alternating schedule of tylenol/ibuprofen. They even gave us some stronger stuff for her, but she never needed it.) Just don't get behind on the meds. It's hard to catch up.

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K.F.

answers from Boston on

Oh no, hugs being sent your way! My DD had the same proceedure a few years ago and I was SO NERVOUS too. However, the actual operation is super fast, as far as proceedures go, this one is the most run-of-the-mill for the surgeons. For us the scarey part was waiting for my daughter to wake up, and when she was miserable, which is what we expected.

The good thing is she slept a lot the first day or so. We had to watch her liquid intake so she didn't become dehydrated. Another bonus, my daughter just wanted to cuddle, which I just was happy to do:)

Good luck and I'm sure you will be happy to have this behind you.

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H.L.

answers from Portland on

It was the best thing we ever did for our daughter. She was 8 at the time. She sleeps at night with no apnea now and is a much happier girl. We had no problems with the surgery as long as I kept enough Popsicles in the house.

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L.H.

answers from New York on

Looks like this is after the fact, but everything will be fine. My 3 yr old had the same procedure about a month ago. It was the best thing we did. She is sleeping SO much better now and eating better too! After the surgery, there is some pain that can be handled with medication. It takes about 5-7 days. the pain seems to be getting better but then got worse around day 5 or 6, but then that was it. The doctor gave us a prescription but we mostly used children's ibuprofen. Her breath was HORRIBLE, but it will get better.

I hope you went threw with it. If not re-schedule.....best decision ever. So happy that we did it!!

Best of Luck-
L.

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