He has an articulation problem when he speaks. He is difficult to understand somethimes, but very friendly and outgoing. I have noticed how hard he tries at pre-school to make friends and be accepted. It just breaks my heart. I don't think the other kids are mean, but I think they don't understand him when he talks, so they just move on. He is in speach therapy. I guess my real question is this. I don't want to make it a problem or dwell on it, but I would like to give him some practical advice. Not the refrigerator stuf that is fiven to all kids growing up. Such as turn the other cheek or they are just jealous. His speach issues are going to take time to heal. For him overcoming this obstacle and working at improving thiese social interactions is important. Any advise from other parents going through similair situations would be helpful.
Sure, all kids can have trouble, but that doesn't mean you should ignore them! There are resources out there for you. Ask your pediatrician if there are government programs or if you should go through your school system or your specific school. In Indiana, they have a government program until the age of three and then you age out into the school system and they have programs for speech. I'm guessing Ohio has a speech program to help:)
My suggestion would be some play therapy, especially if you think he is having a very hard time with it and let the therapist help him develop some strategies that might help him be sucessful, his speech therapist can add a social goal too, and you could have more therapy. If he is in public therapy at your school, I would suggest adding private therapy too, as much as you can afford. School services are only obligated to make him functional, and you want more than that for him. If you have not gone to the school and asked for public services, then do it too. After age three, the public school is obligated to serve all children with disablities who need special education services, and an articulation disorder that causes intelegiblity issues like you describe should qualify.
I have been there, and watching your son be rejected is hard. Good therapists may also have social skills groups where he can interact with other kid his age who are having the same kinds of social issues, he may not have a primary social skills issue, but it could be secondary without successful give and take exchanges with his peers.
Sometimes a switch to a new setting or a new group of kids will be helpful. All you can do is to encourage him, and love him. I don't know that there is anything he can understand at this age that will make it better for him other than finding a way for him to fill his social needs. My experience is that therapists are better at getting the idea across, for some reason, they seem to hear more of what they say and just look to Mom for comfort.
I feel for you,
M.
My daughter who is 4 is bilingual and also has some speech delay. Although she is catching up, I'd say she's about a year behind in her expressive speech. I used to obsess about that until I realized that she is not intimidated by it, she goes and inserts herself in a group and tries to act as an equal. So I think it's important, like you said, not to make it a problem unless it is.
If other kids move on when they don't understand him, you notice it and worry, but does he? I'd encourage him to not give up trying, initiate new things (be a leader): kids often are intrigued by new games and will play with him at least a while. Bring surprise treats/presents for kids in his group, invite them one on one or in small groups to play at your house or in the park, as Dee mentioned. Be a giver with fun and pleasant attitude, basically. Sounds like that's what he already is!
This may be a blessing in disguise actually, as he may grow up more attuned to other people's behaviors and have better social skills in the end.
My now 9 year old started speech therapy when he was 3 and went through 2 years of preschool and still needs speech therapy. He didn't really make a lot of friends until he started into grade school and even now still doesn't have a 'tight' circle of friends, but has many friends that he can talk to or hang out with at lunch. This sometimes bothers him, but I have told him that his "new best friend" just hasn't found him yet. Right now, that is the best I can do.
I am a firm believer in "all kids have some kind of issue" it just varies from kid to kid. Your little boy just has O. that happens to be obvious because it's his communication.
I try to stress to my son that everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Some people are good at THIS and some people aren't. If there's something you aren't good at it you've gotta work on it. I point out that he has friends much better at art than him but he is an awesome baseball player. You know, stress that differences in people are EVERYWHERE--not just about him and his speech. Good luck!
My middle child (now 16 and a junior in High School) had a speech impediment too. We could understand her, but no one outside the family could. The advice below is what I used then and would now. Point out his strengths, help him see the differences in other people and show him every day that he is loved. I also invited other parents to meet us at the park or a local kids attraction a few times a month, so that she could be with other children in a more one-on-one situation. They generally tried harder to communicate when there was less competition for attention. By the way, therapy helped tremendously and although she talks waaaaay to fast for me (I have to ask her to slow down), she is a straight A student who plans on majoring in Law with a minor in Languages - she is currently studying German and French is next!!! Best Wishes!
