My 5 Year-old Has a Cavity Why Do I Feel like a Horrible Mom???

You are not a bad mom. Some children are more prone to decay no matter what you do.

I completely agree with sealants. It is worth the money and most insurance covers them. If not, it is about $50 per tooth when we did it.

Our daughter is 17.5 now and never a cavity. We got sealants for her when the Dr recommended them. That said, sealants are not the only reason she does not have cavities... Good genes also play a big part. At her pediatric Dentist office, out of ALL the patients... she is 1 of appx 12 who have never needed any type of orthodontic treatment which is almost unheard of nowadays. She somehow inherited a perfect set of pearly whites (not from me)!

You just have to change your mind and realize that they could be eating candy and drinking pop all day and would most likely have the same couple of teeth that are getting cavities.

Please know that there is nothing that you can do to prevent even further cavities and you'll need to make sure you do not miss any 6 month check ups and if you have to change dentists you'll need to make sure you sit down with the new one and explain the genetic issues.

I have soft enamel. My daughter and grandchildren all got my teeth. Perfect shape and straight as can be but cavity ridden. There is nothing I can do. Even going without brushing and flossing has no effect. They get cavities when the enamel gets thin in a certain area.

You're not a bad mom or a failure. Cavities are much more common now then they used to be. One reason is all the bottled water our kids drink. Flouride is put into our municipal drinking water for a reason but we lose that drinking bottled water. Also, kids toothpaste has very little flouride in it. When we were kids we used Crest. Now they have bubblegum flavored kid paste that has very little flouride in it. We try to do the best thing for our kids, but who knows what's really best.

You're a great Mom! Do you know how many parents don't take their children to the dentist or watch what they eat and drink or make them brush their teeth? Genetics trumps lifestyles, look at Dr. Oz having a pre-cancerous colon polyp, you KNOW he takes care of himself!

Don't beat yourself up, it happens. Be thankful it is not more serious...did you know that 41 children are diagnosed with cancer each day? I've seen the helplessness and feelings of failing their child in parents, wondering what they could have done differently. Sadly, not a thing.

Now you know your children are pre-disposed to cavities and can get them the care they need as they need it, that's a good thing : )

You could be worrying what other people *might* think. But actually, what other people might think of you is not your business! So don't let your mind play what-iffies.

One my my granddaughters has teeth like that. She's six and has been subsidizing the dentist for quite a while.

You can't do anything about a genetic situation except to try to keep it from getting worse. Another of my granddaughters (from the same family) was born with a heart condition. Does that make her parents failures? No, and she's doing fine now. A couple of years ago her mama was discovered to have a little hole in her heart, but nobody - not her family's doctor, not her parents! - had realized it before. (She's doing fine now, too.)

There are some things that just happen. Save your self-condemnation for something that's really your fault (I hope there won't be anything).

Make sure you have fluorinated water in your area. If you don't, you need supplements. Just brushing with toothpaste with fluoride in it isn't enough.

I'm glad your kids' teeth have enough enamel to use sealants - one of my kids had 4 teeth that were "soft" and didn't have enough enamel for the sealant to stick to. Thankfully his adult teeth grew in normal.

You didn't fail, and I know you know that. We can't help genetic predispositions. But you can be proactive. Check on the fluoride in your water supply. Make sure they see the dentist every 6 months. Teach them to brush and floss. You are doing great - forewarned is forearmed!!

Dawn

Stop beating yourself up. All kids teeth are more susceptible to cavities than adult teeth. They aren't intended to last as long. Sealants will improve things just be aware they probably aren't covered by dental insurance on baby teeth

You said yourself that their teeth are genetically more susceptible to cavities. Short of not having children, it doesn't sound like you could do a darn thing to change this. It sounds like you do a lot more dental care than most people, so think of how bad their teeth would be if you didn't do all that care! You're doing a good job :)

my daughter had 2 cavities filled at 4. i was devistated! sometimes they just happen. my daughter got her fillings done like a champ. i know how you feel. i brush her teeth 2 times a day, floss at night, and use act mouth wash.

My 5.5yo son just had his check-up recently and gave the "bad" information that the 3 spots we've been watching since he was 3 are now concerning enough to need filled. And of course, they're on molars that he won't lose until 10-12yo, so it's not like we can let them go. He said there's really not much we could've done differently as parents; it just happens sometimes.

I DO feel like a horrible parent because maybe I could've done things very differently in regards to diet or maybe I could've brushed his teeth more often, etc. You go through the ringer, and it didn't make me feel any better when the dentist told me that about 30% of kids that come through his practice get a cavity on their baby teeth :/

Sounds like you are doing a great job! Everyone's kids get occasional treats so at least you caught it early. I reccomend letting your kids brush their teeth but then you brush it after thoroughly. I read somewhere that not until 8 or 9 can kids adequately brush their teeth. My son had some decay on his front tooth from nursing before bed but with flouride toothpaste, I was able to reverse it. My son is 4 and they told me that he has deep crevices with are prone to cavities. Fortunately, he has had none. All you can do is your best and sometimes you can't fight genetics 100%

Wow! Do I know that feeling! My oldest, at age 7, has had 2 extractions and 4 crowns, plus multiple cavities filled. Did I feel horrible whe we went in for one of our first couple of visits to learn that he needed root canals? Root canals at not even 3 years old? You bet I felt like the worst mom on the planet. Even after the dentist said there was not a trace of plaque anywhere, no bottle rot, and no cavities on his front teeth (that he's had the longest). Even after he said that cavities often start between the teeth and by the time you can see them, its almost always too late. Even after he said that he could tell that we brushed his teeth, and flossed, and took good care of him...still worst.mom.ever. Years later, we continue to send our dentist on vacation:) Like a lot of other posters, my youngest (5yo) insists on brushing his own teeth, and has for years. Of course, I make sure that he is doing a good job, but still, he's five. I think he's had one tiny cavity that was filled without needing any numbing gel or novacaine. His teeth are gorgeous, and white, and tough as nails.

Don't be so hard on yourself, you sound like a great mom! And the fact that this bothers you is testament to that. You can only control what you can control. Roll with the punches and know that teeth are not one of those things. You can do your best and that's enough! Do your best to keep them in his mouth, so that his adult teeth have a space to grow into. That's our goal...

I would feel like that too but don't everyones teeth are different. SOme are soft and some are hard as...bone (lol). Some people could never brush their teeth and be cavity free however some brush theirs everyday and still have a mouth full of cavitys!

I am sure you are a great mom! Don't beat yourself up!

:)

At the age of 18 months my daughter had cavities in 2 of her molars. Ones that she had not had more than 4 months at that point. They came in with defects and the cavities started almost immediately because of genetic problems with the teeth. 6 months later she had 3 more cavities in other teeth, again ones she's not had very long.
By the age of 3 my son had one get infected because we did not know it had a cavity in it and the decay progressed so fast. He had has multiple root canals and one crown. He is 11 now and has had pretty much every tooth rebuilt in some way or other.
By contract, my second child is 8. He has had exactly 3 cavities in his entire life. All small ones. He is the one that brushes the worst and he's the one with the least amount of problems.
My oldest son and my daughter got my husband's teeth. My MIL said it took everything to keep my husband's teeth in his mouth long enough for them to fall out naturally.
The good news is my oldest son's adult teeth are growing in much stronger than his baby teeth were. He is obsessed with keeping them clean. After all the work was done he became so obsessive that he was brushing until he bled. He'd brush and floss if he so much as tasted anything! It was so bad!
You did nothing wrong at all. It is 100% genetics. The best you can do is clean them as best as you can and keep up with their dental checkups so that any problems can be caught fast enough that they do not cause problems.
Get the work done. Kids need their teeth for their jaws to grow properly, they effect speech. They need them so their adult teeth come in properly. If you don't take care of the decay they can damage the adult teeth as well, long before they even come in.
I felt bad in the beginning, especially because one of them got infected, by no fault of our own. There is a long story on that one :(
But now that we're on our third child and she has the same problems, the dentist has assured us that it isn't our fault. We're doing all we can.
I'm sure you are doing all that you can too.

Teeth are funny things.

I take meticulous care of my teeth. However, all my molars have crowns, and EVERY SINGLE OTHER TOOTH I have has multiple fillings...even the front teeth. I have pretty much no enamel left on my teeth, and can do nothing to prevent the further decline of my teeth. I will end up with dentures. I am just holding on to the ray of light that at least my teeth still LOOK nice...surprisingly, but yes, they do.

Now, my husband. Never had a cavity in his life. Never. Does he take great care of his teeth? NOOOOO.

A friend of mine has a son who was born without enamel, essentially, and has had to have all of his teeth capped. This boy's father has dentures...and he's about 27.

My stepdaughter? Great teeth, but she drinks pops and eats junk and is almost 100 pounds overweight and has a ton of cavities.

It happens in all walks, for all reasons.

That's nothing.... when my older son was 6, he had 8, yes EIGHT, cavities! Each back quadrant, between the two back teeth. OMG, I felt horrible. He's teeth are soft and VERY crowded. They just had check ups last week, and luckily no cavities, but they did give us a referral to an orthodontist ($$$) for both of my kids. UGH. My younger son has never had any cavities, knock on wood, but apparently will need some ortho work.
You're doing everything right... sometimes, its just out of our control.

I completely understand how you feel. With my oldest we kept pop, sweets, brushed his teeth 3 times a day. Took him for his first check up at age 3 and had 2 cavities. For the first 2 years every six months he was getting a cavity fixed, even while doing everything right. Unfortunately genetics gave him my weak teeth. My daughter on the other hand, does not brush her teeth like she should, drinks tea, wont drink pop even at the age of 5 because she does not like the carbonation, and will eat anything chocolate or any other type of candy. Just had her 6 month check up......not one single cavity and everything is fine. Genetics....something I will never understand!

Like you said it's genetic. You can brush them but more than likly they are going to get them anyways. My youngest has brushed his teeth a LOT more than my oldest and he's had so many cavities and my oldest has only had a few and all on baby teeth. It's genetics cause they don't share a father. My husband's teeth geans are TERRIBLE!!!!!!! All the kids on his side have to have caps my poor little one when he was three had to have a mouth full of them. Just bursh and flose and that's about all you can do.

Good luck and God Bless!