My 4 Yr Old Refuses to Wipe Herself After.

Updated on February 25, 2008
D.F. asks from Nashua, NH
8 answers

My 4 yr old refuses to wipe herself after going to the bathroom. help I need idea's

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So What Happened?

Have gotten some really good advice and am tring as this is an ongoing battle. Thank you all. Debbie

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T.V.

answers from Providence on

I have the same problem with my 3 year old. She just recently had one time that she could not find me and just went by herself. I noticed and praised her lavishly by picking her up, spinning her around, giving high fives, doing a happy dance. She was so excited by all the attention that she has slowly started going by herself on occasion. Every single time she goes by herself I act like a crazy mamma giving her all kinds of attention. I'm hoping this will work since I know she can go on her own but just wants the attention from mommy. Going well so far.

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R.C.

answers from Boston on

My now almost 6yo son did this as well. He also had a very sensitive gag reflex and would gag and vomit at even the smell or site of his OWN stool. It took a very long time for the gagging to improve and even longer to get him to wipe. We just would make him sit there until he either cried, we needed to leave or he did it himself. Of course, there was a lot of praise when he did it. We also tried "checking him" first and if it looked like an "easy clean up" or "a clean butt" as we would call it we would let him know and those are the times he first started doing it himself. All these things helped but the final straw was a new baby and we told him that we only have time to wipe one bottom in the house at a time!!:) He has been on his own since his little brother arrived about 6 months ago.

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S.G.

answers from Hartford on

My daughter will be 4 this month and she can do it herself at school but when she's at home she tries to get us to do it for her. I don't understand it? It must be a control thing because i know she can do it and the only time i give in is when i feel i'm in a rush. I wish you all the best. Sorry I couldn't be more help.

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J.S.

answers from Boston on

Those flushable wipes have been used with a lot of success by children in my care...they are able to do a good job with them when they cannot with toilet paper...Maybe your child also doesn't like the way scratchy toilet paper feels?

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R.R.

answers from Boston on

My son waas the same. I kept flushable toilet wipes in all of the bathrooms and started out by using 2 of them sort of layered. We did it together, hand over hand. After several times, I set up the wipes and put them in his hand and watched him wipe himself..assisting if needed. He still would ask me to wipe his bum bum, but after a few more times I just said, "No, you can do it yourself now...aren't you proud of yourself?? I think you do a great job!" Now he doesn't even ask me anymore! Also, sticker charts work well. Give a sticker for each time she wipes herself and after 5 times9 Or however many times you choose) decide on a prize she will get.

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K.V.

answers from Boston on

I agree with Nikki M, she is still little and I would do it for her. She will have confidence to do it for herself in a few more months.

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N.M.

answers from Boston on

wipe it for her . shes still little and probley doesnt do a good job anyway.

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M.F.

answers from Pittsfield on

You may have to follow her into the bathroom and get the TP for her but put it in her hand. Be sure to tell her its important to be clean and dry. then get her to wash up and remember to praise, praise, praise!!! also tell her that when she goes to school you won't be there to help her and she needs to learn to do this alone.

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