My 4 Year Old Daughter Wont Chew Her Food and Threatens That Shes Going to Vomit

maybe setting a timer for a reasonable amount of allotted time to have her eat, and let her know that if she eats her food in that time without gagging she may pick a snack of her choice. It can be small like a few m&ms or a couple of pretzels something that she likes. good luck

At 4 it's a control thing. We go through things like this on and off. I would suggest giving her a choice in what you choose to make for dinner even if it's a simple as green beans or corn. It was a tough time, but giving her some little bit of control really made that point in time easier.

Have you taken her to the dentist? My niece had a problem with her jaw that made it difficult for her to chew.

It could be sensory issues. Some children have problems with the texture of food. If you don't get anywhere with the doctor, ask about it.

My daughter is almost 4 and can eat some foods like a champ and others she gags from. That other mom mentioned green beans and that is one food that almost always makes my daughter gag and vomit. I have decided to take it off the list of veggies for now for her. She eats corn, peas, broccoli and even salads so I am okay with no beans. My daughter has sensory issues and was in food therapy several times a week since she turned 1. You may want to see if that is what your daughter is going through. I didn't get from your note if your daughter used to eat other things better and this is a new thing. If it is new, she may have a sore throat or something. My daughter is a very slow eater too. I would try to give her softer and easier to chew foods and see if the meals go faster. You may just need to work on this for a while. Good luck to you. Kids seem to always have some challege for us all :)

Hi L.,

-I know that you've already posted your "so what happened", and have a plan of treatment worked out with your pediatrician. I wanted to add to some of my ideas anyway.
-I agree with the respondents who suggest ignoring the gagging and/or continuing to give her just PB&Js, since they aren't a problem food. You absolutely can not allow this to "drive you bonkers".
-She may be getting negative attention from your reaction. If you've just moved and you're pregnant, then a lot of her stability has been shaken up. She is getting your attention despite everything else that's happening in your life.
-And, if this is all physical or emotional on her part, your agitation can only worsen your daughter's discomfort.
-If you wind up with a gastroenterology consult, I would still ask the pediatrician for an OT consult. It's not uncommon for GI problems and sensory issues to go together.

-My friend's 3 y/o daughter used to brush her teeth at the same time as her mother in the mornings. They brushed together in front of their big bathroom mirror. Then my friend became pregnant. The morning toothbrushing activated my friend's gag reflex easily. It stimulated her morning sickness and she would start vomiting.
So, like mother, like daughter ... her daughter started trying to vomit every morning because she wanted to be "just like Mom"!
Good luck!

Hi L.,

I agree with the responses suggesting you get her in to a specialist. If this were my child, here are the steps that I would take.

* Make an appointment with your pediatrician and request a referral to an Occupational Therapist to address possible oral motor defensiveness. Don't take no for an answer.

* If she hasn't already had her 6 month cleaning, schedule an appointment with her dentist to rule out any problems with her teeth, gums, jaw.

* Believe what your daughter is telling you. It could be control but it sounds as if it's a deeper issue.

http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/oral-sensitivi...

Here's a link for a section from The Out of Sync Child by Carol Stock Kranowitz.
http://books.google.com/books?id=3gtL9XaZ8GwC&pg=PA24...

Best of luck to you. Hang in there and be patient with your daughter.

Peace,
J.

L.,

This may indicate she has an oral dysphagia or some type of sensory deficit (texture adversion). I highly recommend contacting your pediatrician which in turn may prescribe a Speech Therapy consult.

I am sure it is frustrating and I went through something similiar with my son...he still has adversions to the beans inside the shell of greenbeans (go figure). He will eat greenbeans as long as he doesnt get the individual bean on his tongue....he gags and then gets scared and becomes VERY upset to the point wear he goes to the bathroom saying he is giong to throw up...... He has never been diagnosed, but we have made adjustments in his diet, and I have learned to not push some veggies.

Good luck!

My daughter, who is now almost 11, had very similar circumstances at your daughter's age! Definitely work on the acid reflux idea, but consider the following as an "added" help....
Is there any chance, at all, that your daughter is a "grazer"? I'll explain. You know how cows eat small amounts all day long? Could your dd be the same way? You don't want to push the issue, because you'll see that she'll find she gets SO much power when it comes to eating! Instead, think of what she likes - maybe PB&J, chicken, raw carrots, etc. Turn every bit of this into tiny "finger foods," as if planning a party. This stores very well in the fridge.
Now, instead of making a deal at all about this, take a tiny amount of food - for example, instead of one PB&J sandwich, make it two 1/8'ths of a sandwich (one quarter, cut in half - or, better yet, cut with cookie cutters to look like you were just having fun). Put it on the table and say, "Hey, ya hungry?" (Of course, make sure she will be!) She'll be expecting a big meal; she'll see this. Offer her this tiny item. Whether or not she eats it, ignore it. It's a very tiny amount, either way. If she begins eating it, say, "Would you like some [drink - whatever you normally give her, but in a tiny juice glass - you do NOT want her to fill up on milk or whatever!
Whether or not she takes it, an hour later offer her another tiny snack - say, a few cut-up carrots. Always make it sound positive but with a care-free attitude. "Would you like some?" Then leave the plate for a few minutes. Pick it up after a few minutes (unless she's eating). A four year old will NOT starve herself for very long.

My daughter STILL prefers to graize throughout the day. It is much easier for her to eat tiny amounts and keep going than to sit down to a whole meal. LOTS of kids are the same way.

Good luck!

P.S. I just read what Crystal wrote about it might be a texture issue. That's very possible! Read up on that and see what you think.

do you think this is to get attention since the new baby is coming? or do you think that it might actually be hard for her to chew?

If it's to get attention, let her vomit. I doubt she'll like it. do you let her eat by herself? if she's taking forever, I would go about my business (dishes, putting food away, etc) and let her continue eating. It sounds, just from your post, that she may be trying to dominate your attention. Maybe sit down and talk to her about the new baby coming and reassure her.

hope you find a solution

Sounds like a very challenging situation. Firstly, I would say that peanut butter and jelly is actually a pretty nutritious meal/snack, especially if you're using whole wheat bread, organic peanut butter, and jelly with no added sugar. At any rate, I'm sure she's digging all the attention she's getting. My advice would be to allow her 1-3 pb&j's a day, and otherwise put a plate in front of her, set a timer for 30 minutes (making sure she can see it), and let her act as drama-filled as she wants, ignoring her unless she starts acting appropriately. After 30 minutes, take the plate away and try again with the same food in an hour or two, with only 20 minutes on the timer. It will be difficult at first, and she may actually cause herself to vomit. Have her help clean it up, and don't be angry but act calm and matter-of-fact - otherwise she's found another (messy) way to get attention. When she realizes that a) she isn't getting any attention from her behavior and b) she better eat or she'll be hungry, I bet the behavior will subside in a few days. And no going out to eat until she's eating normally. I'd suggest waiting until she's exhibited none of the behavior for at least a week before going outt, because I'm sure she'll test you again. Good luck!

Have you asked your doctor. There actually may something to it. She may need to have the anatomy of her tongue checked out. Its fairly common to have something with the anatomy going on. Just a thought...

My goodness how worrisome for you! If I were you I think I'd take her to the doctor over this issue. There could be a medical reason for this.

Good luck and God Bless!

Sounds like it's either a physical issue or a control issue. Why not take her to the doctor to rule out something physical? But assuming she's fine and this is a control issue and/or a texture issue, I would give her PB&J at every meal but also include a bite of what everyone else is eating. That way she always has the option to try the other food. If she can't/won't eat it don't make a big deal about it--and don't let her make a big deal either. As she won't be forced to eat it you should make it clear that you expect no theatrics or loud pronouncements about how bad something tastes or crying. Praise her for trying other things even if she spits it out without fuss. Eventually she WILL start to eat other things. Good luck!

Does your daughter know that you expecting? This sounds like a jealousy issue. Did you tell her about the new baby to be about two months ago? If so, and it IS a jealousy issue, this would explain it. I would advise you not to just assume this is the problem, but have her seen by her pediatrician as there are physical problems that can develope and cause her to choke and gag on even very soft food, such a tumor wrapped around the trachea, or an enlarged aorta pressing against the trachea. I don't want to be an alarmist, but I do think you need to have her checked out either way to find the root of the problem. Good luck!

That's a tough one. I know I am a "textures" person and as I got older certain things really did make me gag...cream corn - yuck!! I am still textures oriented. She may be developing some textures issues. If she is excited about the meal but then has issues - there may be something medical involved or her gag reflex is really developing. I would just try and have patience and make sure she is taking small bites of whatever it is. Good luck!

I used to babysit for a child who would make herself throw up to avoid certain foods and to get attention. Take her to the doctor but I have never heard of any disease with those symptoms and I am a Hypochondriac so it would have to be pretty rare. LOL!!!! I know the eating thing can be so annoying and disgusting.

I have a nephew that went through this stage and my son also for a few months. They lived on applesauce, bananas, juice, milk, etc. for a few months. And then, finally, they were over it.

But you might want to get her checked out at the pediatrician.

take her to the doctor get things rules out like gerd or any other problems then from there ignore her!!! even if she gags or does throw up have her clean it up. sounds harsh i know but she will stop pretty fast. we had a little girl at day care who did this and it was for attention we stopped giving it and guess what she sat and ate with all her friends. good luck

Set limits, I think she is testing you. For instance, if you don't chew your food up, I will start buying baby food for you and start spoon feeding you. But I thought you were a big girl. Set a reasonable time limit for dinner (30 minutes) tell her if she doesn't finish in 30 minutes her meal will be taken away. I bet baby #2 is part of the issue. You are probably talking about baby more, getting ready for baby etc, this is your daughters way of getting your attention. and its working. Just tell her, a big sister needs to teach the baby new things, but if you are acting like a baby you won't be able to be a big sister. Just keep emphasizing Big-big sister big girl. etc. also make sure you try and spend alone time with the older daughter!

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I would take her to see the doctor, maybe her teeth or tonsils hurt? I hope it gets better for you (and her).

Either some things trigger her 'gag reflex' really easily, or she's just getting LOTS of attention for something so simple, so --in her mind -- 'why not do it?'

Have her medically examined to make sure, and if nothing's wrong, quit giving her ANY -- positive OR negative -- attention for it.

Call her doc first to make sure it is nothing related to health and if she is healthy....I would either put her plate in front of you and feed her one bite at a time....'like a baby' or tell her that if she cannot eat like a 4 yr old, then you are going to give her baby food where she doesn't have to chew. If you are SURE it is nothing health related or anything to do with her throat, gag reflex, etc then I would buy 1-2 jars of baby food to keep on hand. One night at dinner I would put her favorite meal in front of everyone else and baby food in a bowl in front of her. Tell her that if she cannot chew, she will have to eat baby food....see how long it lasts. As far as how long it takes, set a timer and tell her that if she is not finished with her meal by the time everyone else is done, or the timer goes off, she will not get dessert, tv, to play outside tomm, etc Whatever it is that she really wants. Tell her that next time you go to a restaurant, if she does it again, she will stay at home with a babysitter while you and the rest of the family go out to eat. I play hardball in words but with my children, I never have to follow through b/c they listen to my threats. She is old enough to understand you and behave. If you don't want to buy babyfood, take whatever meal it is that the family is eating and mash it up in a grinder/processor for her portion. All will eat the good food while she eats the mush....that she won't have to chew or gag on. :o) Let me know if this works, I am curious! :o)

Probably a texture issue. It can also be behavioral in a 4yo. MInimize your discussion or emotion regarding her behavior. Definitely look up sensory processing dysfunction (sensory processing disorder) and check out oral/texture issues. You can work your way up from a food that she likes, slowing making it more textured to acclimate her texture sensitivity. Good luck... it can be VERY frustrating.

I totally agree with the other moms, you should have her checked out physically but it could just be a control issue. The fact that she can eat a pb&j with no problem seems to indicate it is NOT physical, but it's best to rule that out. If it's not physical then she is just exerting control over one of the only two areas kids that age can control - eating and going to the bathroom (LOL) If it's a control issue then you need to try REALLY hard to stay calm during these confrontations, but stay firm. She should eat what you have given her even if it does take two hours. If it happens while out to eat, you could just calmly tell her not to worry about eating right then - then get a to go box and take it home and heat it up later when she says she's hungry. We had this issue with my stepson and it was the ONLY problem we ever had with him, he was so well behaved otherwise. He's now grown and eats everything!

I'll tell you what the doctor told me when I had the same problem. Give her the PB&J. It has protien (as does meat). When she gets tired of it, she'll switch to comething else. My son did, and now he's a healthy, very trim 43 year old.

First, I think I would take her for a check up with her doc. If they say nothing is wrong, I would then tell her that if she continues this action, we will no longer go out to eat because it is a waist of money. I also would no longer give her foods she "loves" if she does the same action. Give her the PB & J's. She will get tired of that. My cousins daughter would only eat PB & J and chicken patties. The doc told her it was fine because she was getting bread and protein from the peanut butter. She drank milk with it. He said she would grow out of it and she has. I still go back to my original statement. Have her checked by the doc first and ask them about it.

Control issue comes to mind, also gag reflex. So many people have a very sensitive gag reflex.

I agree with one of the gals that suggested finding a specialist.

Obviously something big is going on, be it physical or psychological. The sooner you get more information, the better off your daughter will be.

At this point, try to take the perspective that she can not help herself (this may help you control your anger) You have a lot of power in staying calm, you will see the difference in her response as well if you can manage that one task. (easier said than done, I know)

Call a specialist for help today.

Hang in there,

P. : )