My 2Nd Grader Suspended from School!!!

I have no advice, since my kids are still small and I don't deal with schools yet. But my gut says fight it. I'm wondering why he would report it to the sherriff? What is the crime? I'm interested to see other responses on here. With kids bringing guns to school at younger ages (even elementary), I can almost understand where they're coming from, but only to an extent. They do have other students to think about. But a just a bulllet? Maybe they were thinking he has access to guns? I don't know, but like I said, my gut says fight it.

The zero tolerance these days does not take into account young children.
These children are so innocent and do not even understand why they
are suspended. Remember the story of the little boy who had a two
inch plastic soldier with a gun, he was suspended. You could fight it
but chances are you would not win. When will there be a balance? Just
goes to show you how screwed up this world has become. Poor baby.
.

I don't think you should fight it. Personally, i don't think it was a very good 'treasure" to have. And if your child was in my child's class and i found out he brought a bullet to school, i would definately be wondering what he would be bringing next and be quite terrified that he would innocently bring in a gun to show his teachers. Zero tolerance is Zero tolerance, it isn't meant to be personal. Teach your son that this is the consequence for bringing banned items to school, and have him discuss with you what other items would not be appropriate for school.

I"m not sure, that you should fight it. With the rise of violence in schools, they have to have very strict rules, regarding weapons, or weapons components being brought to school. They can bend the rules, for some. However kids that really do break the rules in bad ways, can use that as an example. It doesn't necessarily seem fair to your son, but I personally think it's necessary.

If I can make a suggestion...and I am in no way judging you here, at all. I know your son wanted the bullet, but I just think that's a very bad idea. Bullets aren't "treasure." They are very serious and very dangerous. They should not be treated, as a toy, or something for a kid to play with, or keep as treasure. In fact, I don't think kids should have access to even one. Gun, or no gun. It's simply not a kids item and should be kept that way. The whole situation could have been avoided and now he's suspended. It's not "just a bullet," it is an essential part to a deadly weapon. It might sound dramatic, but I think it should be treated as such. Why was a bullet even around your kid??

Yes, zero tolerance is stupid. It gives no credence to Principals & teachers reacting appropriately to any given situation. The media is FULL of stories like yours:

-The high schooler, captain of the drill team, who had a drill rifle -solid wood- in her car. Someone called about the "gun" in her car and she was suspended. Drill is a sanctioned activity on campus.
-The 6 year old who brought his cub scout camping spoon/fork/knife set to school. Cub scouts met on campus.
-My DD's friend age 6, who depants-ed her was suspended....

The list goes on and on.

Lenore Skenazy of Free Range Kids fame, whom a lot of you dislike, has blogged extensively how the freedoms children have to make mistakes, grow and become independent thinkers is being taken from them by society's overwhelming fear.

Count me in as "fear first" thinking needs to go. So sorry your child got caught in this nonsense and I would go to the Board of Education. The more stories like this are presented the more society will finally "get it" that zero tolerance makes for zero thinking. And I don't need a school where the administrators can't think for themselves and manage their own students.

I am not a big fan of "zero tolerance". And a 3-5 day suspension is definitely harsh and probably a overreaction.

But I actually think that this one has a point. I mean who ever though it was a good idea to give a second grader a bullet and NOT teaching them about the relevance of it and not bringing it to school (or anywhere else for that matter).
A bullet is not a toy, not a "treasure". People get killed by bullets. Sure, you need a gun to fire it... but still, it's a serious thing.
If a kid brought a bullet to my daughters school I would be terrified and would hope that there would be some sort of disciplinary or educational action.

Should you fight it? Maybe. But your reason should be that this was a parental misstep in allowing him to have a bullet and take it out of the house in the first place... or not teaching him to never ever bring it to school.
Good luck

i think it's insanity. i guess it's predictable, though. look at all the comments right here about how awful it is that a child has a bullet and how terrified people would be if their child was in proximity of a bullet.
a bullet is a piece of metal. like a screw. it is not inherently evil or dangerous in any fashion.
fearmongering is rampant, and calls to 'keep us safe' (even though it's not possible) are the loudest.
whether it's suspending kids for having a spork, or allowing genital manipulation by the TSA, the majority are fine with surrendering rights, freedoms and dignity for a sense of safety that is totally illusory anyway.
bah.
khairete
S.

If it makes you feel any better... 20 some years ago I brought a 50 cal round into school for show'n'tell (Navy antiaircraft round, has a larger casing than you would find in ground ammo). Not only did I NOT get into trouble for it, but my teacher was so impressed by it she arranged for all the 3rd grade classes to be able to see it. It's a "really big bullet". In fact, I still have it, all 8ish inches of it weighing over a pound... sitting on my bookshelf. It's always been one of my "treasures".

I saw this question yesterday and although he is a child and nobody was hurt, it was against the rules. I think you need to accept responsibility and use this as a learning experience. What other rules do you want to overturn because they don't fit your family?

I'm going to guess that the principal has a legal obligation to report this to the appropriate authorities.

It's unfortunate that this happened and I'm sure your son had good intentions. However, in this day and age schools really can't afford to take much of a chance with things like bullets, knives, guns, blades, etc. I will bet that a kid who does have harmful intentions also has a parent that would come in and say that it was an innocent mistake. So if the school lets that kid slide and he gets no consequences at all, the message is that it is okay to bring items like this to school and he does it again and actually hurts someone. The parents and community would be all up in arms, saying things like "Well, the kid did it once and the schools did NOTHING! They ignored it and now kids are hurt because of this."

My point is, where do we draw the line on this? And if certain kids get excused because they are 'good' kids while others get in trouble, then there's another, even bigger issue at hand (favoritism and discrimination). Schools have a responsibility to keep kids safe, thus zero tolerance. Granted, the bullet would not have hurt anyone but if a kid has access to bullets, what else does he have access to (could be the thought process of the school).

First, why would your husband give a Kindergartener a bullet? Mistake #1.

If the district has a Zero Tolerance policy (in the student handbook), then there is no point in fighting it b/c they will point out the fact that you likely signed a paper saying that you and your child reviewed the policy. Most parents sign the handbook sheet without reading it, but that's not going to be a valid argument. Districts take school violence very seriously and notifying the Sheriff is likely part of the estalished policy and procedure, as well as having to report the incident to the Department of Education at the state level.

Realistically, when you meet with the principal you can request a Superintendent's Hearing. This may not change the outcome b/c policy is equivalent to a county law (school districts are government agencies), but it wouldn't hurt to try.

Personally, as a school administrator I do not support Zero Tolerance policies b/c of situations like this. Zero Tolerance makes an assumption that all acts are committed with the same intention and should be treated as such. Most of us recognize that Zero Tolerance policies really target a very small population.

Point being, if this is district policy- nothing you can do about it. If your district does not have a specific policy, then you should certainly see if you can have the suspension reduced to one day. At 8, your son is old enough to know that bringing a bullet into school is not acceptable and there should be a consequence. In the future, read the student handbook and stress to your son that items associated with guns are not permitted on school grounds and tell him why.

If your husband has guns in the house, then your son should not have access to ammunition. Period.

I'm sorry this happened. I will try to give you an answer without bringing my personal opinions into it as much as possible, since that will be the most helpful.

As a mother I can see why it seems like an overreaction. Kids are kids, and you know he was not trying to be harmful. Now if he had said some unkind words while showing it to people or something that's one thing. But he's showing his treasure.

However, I think you need to look at it from the school's perspective. In this day and age there have been so many horrible things go on in school. It doesn't matter if something is "innocent". Teachers/principals are responsible for a whole bunch of kids and the biggest thing is to keep kids able to learn in a safe, loving environment. Being a teacher is certainly one of the hardest jobs, especially today. People are always going to be one side of this issue.

I was threatened by a 2nd grader my first year of teaching. He told another student how he was going to do it. I reported this to the principal---not because I was scared, but because the kid he told and other students who heard were scared. I had a responsibility to all my students. I didn't know it was an automatic 10 day suspension and that he would be removed from my class. It was awful, he cried every day when he'd see our class and he wasn't with us. He was a difficult child and we had come a long way. It was not the best choice for him to be removed from my class, in my opinion. But I had no choice, it was policy. It still breaks my heart to this day, but it was the best thing for more of the kids who were scared of him in my class.

Anyhow, just try to see if from both sides. Even if you think it's ridiculous. You just have to teach your son that some things are not appropriate for school. Even though he wasn't trying to hurt anyone, other kids could be scared and other parents could react badly.

This is a ridiculous over reaction and fighting it seems not only logical, but an important lesson for your son. A bullet? Come on. I'm a flaming liberal and a bullet seems absolutely benign. He's what 7 or 8 years old? What a cool treasure and why not show the kids at school. Had it been a relic from the civil war, would that have been better.

We're talking about context here. I'm outraged. This may be a good issue for your school board.

I'm so sorry you're going through this!

Jen

I don't know how strict the NM laws are. They sound similar to Texas. We have a no tolerance law so fighting it won't do any good. No matter how sweet and innocent your child's intentions are. The law is no weapons and a bullet would count. I assume your school views it as if they let it slide on your son where is the line for the next kid. I agree to see it as a vacation. We can miss 18 days per school year with no concern for retention due to attendance so that shouldn't be a problem.

A bullet is NOT a weapon....and the child is only 8 years old!!! Any reasonable person can realize how ridiculous this is. I would fight it. But I would also call the local radio and tv stations to try to get some buzz on this. The best would be if you had a local talk station with a conservative host who can go off on how crazy your school is being. Nothing gets to a school like bad PR.

I think that the school over reacted but it is not worth fighting over. Thank of it has a vacation for your child.

I am sorry this happened. It will not be a part of his record that colleges and employers will see. I can't see you winning and it would cost you thousands of dollars and I bet CPS would investigate you since someone would report you giving your child a weapon or something(even though I understand the difference). If you can take this week off, great. As a teacher, we had so many kids out this week we did nothing new and frankly he would not be missing much. :0) I hope you know the teacher had to report it. We don't want to. We HAVE to.

I know this seems like a harsh punishment, but most schools have a zero tolerance policy. It can be pretty sticky if the principal lets your son off without punishment, but then Johnny comes to school with something next week and gets suspended. Those parents will ask, "Why did so-and-so not have a consequence but my son did?" The unfortunate reality is there is a lot of danger out there in schools, and this policy has to be in place to protect all children in the school. Even though your son couldn't have hurt anyone, schools have to have zero tolerance. Otherwise, where do you draw the line? Who determines what is "dangerous" and what is just bad judgment? Also, if the policy is in the handbook, you will have little success fighting the punishment.

I've seen a lot of comments about the child being only 8 years old. I'm sure your son, who clearly has involved parents, would never be a major issue. But, there have been cases of third graders (so, 8 or 9 years old) physically attacking their teachers. You can't make a decision based solely on age.

It's complete idiocy! If you want to fight it -I say go for it, but enlist your local news media! Some of these laws and rules are insane! The powers that be hand them down, and it's like no one has any common sense anymore to judge anything on a case by case basis. Prior to 9/11 a friend of mine had a bullet confiscated in the Reno airport. An obviously spent/crumpled bullet with a hole in the top of it where his key ring chain slid through. WHAT on earth did anyone think he was going to do with it? It couldn't have been used in any gun -and he obviously wasn't carrying a gun. No one thinks anymore! A child that age who was obviously happy to show his teacher something he thought was cool is not about to shoot up the school.

This reminds me of a case here in Atlanta one or two years ago where a 9 year old girl was suspended because she brought a Tweety Bird change purse to school -and it attached to her belt loop with a little chain -a very flimsy one. The school district had a policy that no "chains" could be worn on clothing due to high school boys who had been wearing bike chains and whatnot to beat each other with in fights. The parents got the news onto it -and she had her suspension revoked because the principal and school board were embarrassed by their stupidity.

Things are getting crazy! If your son brought a gun to school, I would definitely say expel him. But this was just a bullet! To even suspend him and then threaten you with expelling him is just awful.

So yes, I would say fight it. But I doubt you will win unfortunately. Schools are pretty much no tolerance regardless if it is a 2nd grader and a bullet or a kindergartener and a toy gun.

Good luck!

Just be rational and politely explain your position, and be sure to tell them it's an old Russian bullet etc.

If he gets suspended, it's just a life lesson for him about rules. Just apologize to him and tell him it's not his fault, that you and dad forgot that he wasn't allowed to take things like that to school.

I'm not into guns at all, but I've seen some of those old bullets and they are pretty cool, if it's one of those long, gold ones. I can see a 2nd grader thinking that's a pretty neat treasure.

this reminds me of the time i was suspended for "witchcraft" in the 6th grade. lol. My brother made necklaces out of birds feet holding marbles, yeah i know gross, but in 6th grade i just wanted to be like my big bro, and he was a hunter. I hardly saw the difference between that and leather shoes, i still dont, i actually find leather more disturbing and would not wear either now. My point is that people are silly, even the people whos job it is to NOT to be silly and overreact. Id put up a huge fuss over this, maybe accept the suspension but not without giving them a piece of my mind first.

Most schools have a ZERO tolerance policy. Don't bother fighting it. Just give your side and let them know you don't agree with it.
My daughter was suspended in the 3rd grade for taking a paring knife to school to cut her pear at lunch time. She had one day in school suspension, one day at home suspension and one day alternative school. I look back on it now and can't believe we survived that. I seriously thought I was going to claw out the principal's eyes. I mean, seriously - she wasn't brandishing it. She took it out to cut her fruit!!!
Just do the punishment and just know better next time. Good luck!
PS - I don't think there is anything wrong with giving your son an old bullet. When we were kids, we had bullets, pocket knives and firecrackers...We're still here...So - don't beat yourself up too much over that...

I honestly think that you should fight this, if they are having "show and tell" or even if not, he was showing it to the teacher. I agree with you, if he was trying to hurt someone or do harm to something, why would he show it to the teacher. His dad gave this to him and that is something he will treasure not because of what it is, but because of who gave it to him. I would agree with the principal maybe giving a warning to not bring this to school and for her to hold onto it until the end of the day, but to go as far as suspension? That is a little too far especially on the 1st offense.

It's totally ridiculous. You could fight it, but would it be worth it? Not only would you have to enlist the help of the media, but you'll be the center of a lot of controversy and scrutiny. If you're okay with that, then by all means fight it!

Really the teacher was the idiot. She made too big of a deal over the bullet. Those zero tolerance rules get out of hand quick!

I would think it would be better to take it as a lesson learned and help your child to know that while you are on his side, there are some laws and rules that even you can't fight. It's a tough life lesson!

They are over reacting, but the schools have a zero tolerance rule when it comes to weapons of any kind, so I am not sure you can fight it.

I would try to fight this. This is ridiculous. Maybe send a letter home explaining what can and cannot be brought into school - even though YOU know that he shouldn't have brought that to school - it does not mean he realized that. He probably wanted to share his really cool treasure with his teacher....and she flew off the handle. I'd explain to her that it was something very special to him and for him to want to bring in it and share it with her, he must really like her as a teacher and you are sorry if she took it as a threat or something and sorry that it has to come this far that he is being suspended for bringing in something special to him - not as a threat to anyone. I would also ask to have my son transferred to another teacher. This one sounds out of control!

No they are not over-reacting. You're lucky they didn't arrest him!!! Consider the school violence happening nation-wide. I'm not saying your son had ill-intentions but put yourself on the other side as a parent and you would expect the school to enforce their zero-tolerance policy...Do NOT fight the suspension, use it as a teachable moment for your family, and also, you don't want to create stress for your son. It was obvious "show and tell" for him, but the school has a right to respond accordingly.

ya, what you are going through sucks.
but, that principal will lose his job if he doesnt do it. dont take it personally. He would do it to anyone including a preschool kid

I was a public school teacher for 15 years. They are over-reacting. You can try to fight it, but you probably won't win due to the zero tolerance policies. It's a shame that we've thrown out common sense on this issue.

Where is the line?

Gun without bullets?
Tiny Pocket knife?
Knife but not a sharp blade?
Shotgun shell?
Casing?
Bullet?
Tazer, but no batteries?

Here is the deal a Bullet that has not been shot can be placed on the ground facing up, take a rock, brick or board and hit the top of that bullet? It has the potential to fire.

What if your child came home and said, Billy had a bullet on the playground today. He wanted me to hit it with a rock.. ~ How would you feel?

I would not be pleased.. I do not want any of these items on school property for any reason at any time... There is no reason for it to be there and I would want the school to discipline the student. Sorry, but Zero tolerance may not mean the same to you, but I know I want zero tolerance to protect my child.

unfortunately, there is not much wiggle room with these zero-tolerance policies.

When I was in second grade, I ws almost stabbed by another second grader with a knife, if it wasn't for my older cousin who saw the boy cornering me, and then he kicked the knife out of his hands, I would have been badly hurt. So, yes, kids this age do act out and hurt people.

Children do need to be taught that any kind of weapon, even if it is an accessory that isn't harmless when brought alone should be taken very, very seriously. If your son gets let off the hook, then when it happens again with another kid... it will only continue and excite the kids in school to keep 'one-upping' each other.

Where I think the principal is overreacting in punishment, it should be done. Just earlier this week a high school student held his class hostage with several guns and a bag of ammo, then shot and killed himself in front of his classroom. So, there is a lot of sensitivity there.

I completely agree with you that he is only in 2nd grade and didn't understand that this wan't a good idea. However, I think the suspension will stand considering all the violence in schools these days. I wouldn't hold it against the principal or school either. Look at it from other parent's perspective. What if another student had been the one to bring a bullet or another dangerous object to school? I know as a parent, I'd be pretty upset even if it was harmless. The principal is there to protect and do what's best for all the students. Chalk this up to a learning experience for everyone and don't hold a grudge for your son's sake.

Ok, all though I think it's not ok for the principal to listen to your side of the story. I will tell you of something that happened not long ago in a city where I lived for a while.
A 2nd grade boy was given a bullet by his older brothers. The little boy then went to the school and showed it to several students telling them that if they picked on him, his brother would give him the gun that goes with the bullet so he could shoot them. Of course this got reported to the principal and the parents stepped in and said it was ridiculous. The principal agreed and did not suspend the student. 3 days later, the boy got the gun from his brother and tried to shoot several kids after school. Fortunately, he could not aim well, and no one was physically hurt, but it just goes to show you that, even a second grader can do something like that.
A few years ago in another school in the same city, a kindergartner brought a knife to school and threatened his teacher with it.
So, as a teacher, I fully and whole heartedly support the no tolerance policy.
However, I do agree that if your son knew it was a bad thing, he would not have shown it to his teacher, and that 3-5 days is a little harsh for that, but he should be let known that it's not ok to bring those type of things to school and maybe 1 day would be sufficient.

Just saw this, oh good grief. Ask them why they have history classes. Mention that you will sue them for being a bad influence. They mention how everyone was killed during every war, what weapons they used and who won. This is crazy. It is so innocent. What is wrong with people these days? Excuse me...a suspension? Well, I would fight it. He's only in second grade. And if that bothers you my son was suspended for throwing a snow ball in first grade. I switched schools.

i can see the bullet being an issues, how do you know that a teacher didnt have a matching gun?

at the same time it's a little rediculous suspending him from the school or expelling him and notifying the sheriff...hope you don't have guns in the house, if you do, hope you have a license, could get nastier if you don't have the "weapons" legally

Your not going to win...ZERO tolerance is an over the top set of rules. In my area a boy was suspended because his mom accidentally left the butter knife in his lunch bag from the night before. The boy told the lunch aide and it escalated to a 5 day suspension. Crazy I know, but rules are rules and if they make an exception for your sons bullet, then they will have to make an exception for the next kid who brings in a "dangerous treasure".
Sorry about this and make sure you and your son enjoy each others company while he is home on suspension!

I think they are blowing this out of proportion especially the principal. He should understand and have more compaction. But on the other hand you never explained to you son it is also not something to play with or bring to school. So in that little aspect it was also your fault. If the school was to let this go then they would have to let anyone else who brought a bullet to school including higher grades. That just isn't going to happen. With the way things are going and school not being as safe anymore bringing a bullet was a bad idea, maybe you should not have given him the bullet in the first place or better yet just should have told him to keep the bullet in his treasure chest or whatever. Even if he is in second grade he should know better on things like that being bad things to bring to school. From now on keep the bullet in his treasure box of whatever.

Don't fight it. Just go along with it. That is terrible and I agree with you. Now I'd throw a royal fit if they did something stupid like arrest your son or something crazy like that. Now that's something I'd fight them about. I doubt that would happen but it seems that the world has gone crazy so I wouldn't put it past them. Good luck!

I had shotgun shells and bullets in my treasure box when I was a kid. I wore some of them to school as "necklaces"...because I thought they were cool. I have never owned a gun or commited an act of violence. As a kid, I shot a couple of time with my Dad when he wasn't deployed. That's it.

There may be a "blanket' punishment that the school MUST levy, and if that's the case, fighting it may be pointless. But geez, this was just a kid being a kid.

I had a bullet when I was young, so I would fight it. He is going to tell the sherrif... lol what a joke, seriously. Sometimes people take things so serisouly, kids like stuff like that, and you cant shelter your kids from everything, so IDK, that my opinion. I mean as long as your child knows about the dangers of guns... So what?

A zero tolerance policy on guns, huh? Well, while you're trying to explain to your child how a bullet can somehow be considered a threat, you might also warn him against drawing any kind of gun (even a water, paintball or BB gun) in school because at least two kids (that I know of) have been suspended in the past for that. A drawing!!! This is insanity....

http://www.kpho.com/news/13943838/detail.html

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,303796,00.html (another 2nd grader!)

All I can say is make sure your son knows he's done nothing wrong and has no reason to feel ashamed. And if it's at all possible, pull him out of public schools altogether (which have become nothing more than backwards-thinking cesspools) and into something private through a church or in your community.

aww :(.. I'm know I'm Late. but I just had to say: that's an exaggeration on the principals part. I hope you did your best to minimize the stress your son was exposed to. only eight, he saw the bullet as a cool gift from his dad, amazing how a elementary Principal could overlook his innocent intentions. my younger sister's almost 11, and I call her a baby, so I Could imagine how you feel about them charging him as a teen.. Now I wonder if the board would ever go as far as to putting cuffs on Child >.>

so i am not to late to comment. i understand the rules and what not. but the punishment is over the top and so is the schools reaction. when i was growing up, i went to school in Montana, kids not only knew what the hell a bullet was they also knew how to use the gun that went with the bullet. but we were taught about WHEN and HOW to use them and not take them to school. i am talking elementary school. then when i got into high school kids had rifles and shot guns in the back window of their truck or in the trunk of their car. no one saw a problem with it unless said student got it out of the vehicle. and alot of the students had permits for concealed weapons that for obvious reasons stayed in the vehicle. but the town knew alot of the kids and knew that the ones with guns in their windows were from the country where you might get out of school and have to go work cattle or go straight to the field with out stopping at home to get a gun.
now that i have wrote that book i will end this now. just know that you are the parents and so what if you gave him a bullet. the gun that it goes to isn't even around so what harm can it do. i toted a used bullet around for several years. principal has to contact authorities for certain reasons can't remember what they are right now though.

As a parent, it is your job to know what your child takes to school. As a parent, it is also your job to teach your child to take responsibility for your own and his missteps. Zero tolerance means ZERO tolerance. Your child is old enough to learn a lesson. Teach him something that will be a benefit for our society.