My 20 Month Old Screams and Follows Me Around Wanting to Be Held When I Get Up

I don't mean to make light of this at all...
but, does she have a Lovey?

is she the more dominant/domineering Twin or the opposite?

You said that she 'had' a milk allergy but that it is gone now.
BUT... does she have a Milk "Intolerance"? This is much different than a milk 'allergy.'

Now... one of my siblings, is a Twin. The more 'dominant' twin, and had/has been lactose "intolerant"... and has been, since an newborn... VERY clingy and fussy and like your baby. And demanding.

As an adult now... she is not like that. But for most of childhood... she was. In HER case. And it was not easy....

Much of her fussiness and high-needs... was due to tummy pains due to milk intolerance... which my Mom knew NOTHING about... in those days. My sibling recalls, always being uncomfortable and having a sore tummy. PLUS she was just the much more dominant/verbal/needy/high-maintenance of the twins...
BUT... her twin... did not survive. So she was clingy... to me and others... instead. Most of her life....

So.... is this Twin... 'close' with her Twin sibling???
Twins... are a whole dynamic... and are often close to each other.... for company and soothing as well....

Anyway, that is what I can comment on.
I don't know.... of any magic solutions... just what I know as it happened to my own sibling and Mom.

Or, maybe this Twin... has an ear infection or something??? I would have that checked out.
Pain or anytime a child/baby does not feel well... they get much more clingy... and demanding and just not... happy.

And, how is her communication ability??? Can she talk? Or at a different ability than her other twin? But you said she's always been like this since she was 1 month old.

Then, I have a friend, who's baby always cried. Never happy. The Doctor looked over the baby from head to toe... it was found, that a Blond hair was wrapped tightly around her baby's toe... and it was getting tighter...and more sore and digging into the skin. It was not obvious... as the hair tangle around the baby's toe, was blond and very hard to see. Once the Doctor cut off the hair and untangled it... her baby was a DIFFERENT baby, and happy... and 'normal.'
So... crying/screaming can be due to many reasons.... usually discomfort or emotion based... as in separation-anxiety or needs for other things...

all the best,
Susan

Maybe you should take her to the pediatrician... it could be something wrong. Maybe you can try and ask her what is wrong - especially if she's verbal already.

Oh how I feel your pain! I have an almost 3 year old and 7 month old twins, one of whom wants me to hold her all day and the other who wants to be held all night! During the day I just try to sit the girls sown together to play and if one decides she wants to scream b/c I walk away, I let her scream while telling her I will be right back. Once she finds something to play with, she is usually ok. Your little one may have a milk intolerance, have you tried keeping dairy out of her diet for about 2 weeks and seeing how she behaves?
I do not really have any suggestions, just wanted to say I am right there with you!

You mention the blood in the stool, and that is a symptom of allergy to milk protein. However, she may also be lactose intolerant and that could make her feel bad without the blood symptom. Try lactose free milk and see if it helps. Once you've ruled that out, then you know it's probably a behavior issue. You don't mention how much of a talker she is but she should be old enough to understand this: pick a moment when she is quiet but alert, preferable after a screaming episode and tell her in a quiet voice "Mommy only hears you when you use your quiet voice" or something like that. Tell her if she's hurt it's okay to holler for mommy but otherwise not. Then as hard as it is, just ignore her until she quiets down some. I'm not saying ignore your baby, but you can keep an eye on her to make sure she's not actually hurt without her realizing it, while at the same time only responding directly to her when she has a reasonable volume. Since has siblings, do the same with them even though they aren't screamers, so she understands that this rule applies to all. Then stick with it! When I was little my mom said I started to try throwing tantrums, and she'd just step over me and keep on cleaning or whatever. Didn't take me any time at all to figure out they didn't work and I quit trying. Good luck!!

I don't have multiples, but I've heard that they do annoying things to get the "extra" attention they feel they need because of the competition they feel with their other siblings. I don't know if you feel any luckier knowing that one of Jon & Kate Gosslin's kids used to automatically vomit whenever she wanted more attention or was stressed in any way. Ewww! Anyway, I'm sure her behavior is annoying to no end (that's why it's so effective). I guess you want to modify it before you go bonkers. Show her ways she can behave that you will accept when she wants your attention. It'll take a while because her screaming sounds quite habitual. Otherwise, you can try to suck it up and know that this too shall pass when she learns to talk and generally grows out of it. Good luck! You have quite a handful!