My 20 Month Old Does Not Speak at All!

Updated on January 26, 2010
J.W. asks from Dallas, TX
16 answers

My 20 month old son will not say a word! he knows a few signs for milk, mom... and he can point to certain parts of his body like head nose eyes teeth tongue and so on but he wont even say mama or dada, when he was about 8 months he was saying dada but i dont think he actually knew what it meant but since then he hasnt said it at all. We are doing speech and developmental therapy with him but it doesnt really seem to working well , he is getting better at walking (he started walking at about 14 months old ) but again he will not bend over to pick stuff up or sit down , or even sit down then stand back up , he usually just crawls around till he gets to a chair or someone and pull himself up. I dunno what else to do and was wondering if anyone else has had any issues like these? Im at my witts end and dont know what to do now.

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So What Happened?

Thanks everyone for there input , we are going to take him to see a specialist that was referred by ECI and then we'll go from there , we are also going to have his ears and hearing checked as well. Hopefully we'll find out whats up with my little man.

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K.R.

answers from Dallas on

Look into the Preverbal program at UTD's Callier center or one of the other Universities. You can often get very intensive speech therapy at a much more reasonable cost than what you can get private speech for. The preverbal program is great. Their number is ###-###-####. There are also a lot of nutritional things that can cause speech delays. I have been going though this with my twin boys for quite some time now so I would be happy to share other information with you. Just send me a message if I can be of help.

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S.F.

answers from Dallas on

My son didn't start talking until he was 3. It was as if he was just absorbing all the speech around himself and then all of a sudden he just started talking away. He was an A student in school and still doing fine at 28. My neice also was like that, but her problem was shyness.

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C.T.

answers from Dallas on

Do you feel there is something physically wrong with him or just wondering what's taking him so long? If he is healthy, then maybe he will talk later than the "normal" age. Maybe he isn't walking like you expect because he is just an extrememly cautious child, my oldest was like that. My youngest son is 30 months and says quite a few words, but few very clearly and he doesn't have the vocab his older brother did at his age. All children are different and he seems a little young to me to be too worried about it. Maybe you should give him a few months and just let him develop on his own timeline and see what happens. Good luck to you and your little one!

N.R.

answers from Boston on

I have speech issues with 2 of my little guys. It will come. Keep working on it. Withhold stuff utnil he asks for it. It's really hard sometimes because they get really upset but it does work. I have to say that with my 4 year old....it seemed to happen over night. I didn't see a lot of progress but all of a sudden he was spitting out complete sentences. I don't know about the not walking though. I would talk to his doctor further.
Hang in there.

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A.G.

answers from Boston on

You should have his ears checked. My son was 15 months when I started pushing for more to be done. I got him into speech therapy just before he turned 2 but it didn't help much. Finally he made it to the ENT and they found fluid in his ears and the doctor said it looked like glue because it was there for so long. Because it was there for so long it didn't bother him but he really couldn't hear. It's like when you put your hands over your ears and the sounds is muffled. Just after he turned 2 he had tubes put in his ears and that was when he started talking more because he could hear. A couple hours after he had it done he went to the bathroom and turned the light on with the fan and had to cover his ears because it was a new sound to him. The speech helps now.
Ears are not every kids problem but it was what worked for mine.

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V.L.

answers from Fort Walton Beach on

I have a 20 month old son as well. He has a lot of delays in different area, speach, and eating (he is exclusivily BF and he wasn't talking at all). We have been seeing a ST and OT since he was 15 mo. We also went to see an ENT. With all of that we were not seeing any progress. 2 months ago we went to see a Dr. in Jacksonville FL he is Chiropractic Neuroligist....it was amazing. We have been working with this Dr. and now our son is talking more and trying to eat. We are well on our way. If you want more info or need to talk please feel free to contact me. I understand the frusteration and heartache. I hope you are able to get the answers you need. Good luck and remember you know your child best!

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H.F.

answers from Dallas on

My son had balance issues, but he also had lots of ear infections. Ears are very important for balance as well as hearing. You might have his checked. Many of the things that you mentioned my son did as well. Once we alleviated the ear issues the other situations corrected. We did work with ECI for a couple years to help him catch up.

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N.R.

answers from Dallas on

If you are receiving ECI services, you may need a more agressive therapy model like Cook's, Easter Seals, or a private facility would offer. (I have been a pediatric speech pathologist for over 15 years in a variety of settings). I would also recommened an evaluation by a developmental pediatrician. There is often a waitlist, but he/she may help you by providing some answers and helping you find the most appropriate services for your son. Good luck!
N.

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S.R.

answers from Dallas on

If you are already doing speech therapy and OT, go back to your doctor and ask for more suggestions or more testing. Seeing an ENT to check his ears was a great idea if you haven't already. You can also try a chiropractor and/or cranio sacral massage therapy (with or without telling your regular doctor). For both of these things you need someone who sees lots of young kids and is very gentle. My 3 kids and I see Melissa Shelton in Plano for chiropractic, and I love Ken Piercy for cranio-sacral massage (www.kenpiercy.com). When the PT/OT evaluator suggested we try cranio for my 5 year old, I rolled my eyes. 6 months of little or no progress in OT, and I was ready to try anything...including cranio. It turned out to be amazing for her. Everyone reacts differently, but you know after one massage if your child benefits or not. In the world of long-term OT and speech therapy, this is a refreshing concept. In my book, it's worth $100 and an hour to find out if this could be a helpful piece of your puzzle. You stay with your child the whole time, reading books or playing with toys while the therapist works with the child VERY gently.

Trust your instincts. If you think there is something wrong or something that needs more help than he's already getting, you are probably right - even if your pediatrician tries to blow it off. Don't disregard your gut. Your child is counting on you to speak for him. No one knows your child better than you.

Good luck,
S.

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A.H.

answers from Portland on

So long as his hearing is normal and he's hitting his other milestones I wouldn't worry about it. My son didn't say anything until just after his second birthday (he started saying mama). He's now a perfectly normal 6yo. He was always really advanced in some other areas (spacial, social and fine motor skills) so I didn't worry about it. Each kid is different and develops at their own rate. Also, some kids just move later than other kids. My brother-in-law didn't start walking until 17mo and he's now a Harvard graduate. It sounds like your little guy is still within a normal range to me.

We did do sign language, which helped alleviate a lot of frustration. I highly recommend it if your child is a little language delayed.

Good luck!

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D.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

Have you spoken with your pediatrician about him hitting his developmental milestones?

I think it's particularly hard with your first child - especially if you have friends whose children of similar ages are outpacing your child. We always received reassurance from our pediatrician when we were concerned.

Our daughter is 21 months. She has a good vocabulary of words but is just now putting 2 words together ("good dog", "thank you Mommy"). Our son was well past his second birthday when he started really getting vocal.

Good luck!

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J.M.

answers from Dallas on

Take a deep breath and relax!! :) It will be ok. Most kids don't start talking that well until 2-ish. My mom is a speech therapist with ECI and my older son wasn't talking til after he turned 2 but he did a lot of signs (he even made up his own!) and he communicated that way. My mom was always testing him and making sure he was on target. He was maybe 2 months behind, but not much, so I wasn't worried. And of course, he talks just fine as a 4 year old. They do this at their own pace. My second son was talking before age 1 and we never had to do signs with him at all. So each child is completely different. I've learned that there's not much I can do to speed things up developmentally if they just aren't ready. Just make sure you're talking to him, reading to him, describing the world, reinforcing words and signs (and if he's doing some, he can probably do more--make up your own). Wait til he's at least 2 or over 2 before really getting worried. And if you're already with ECI, keep at it until he's 3. They will tell you if he begins testing much below age level when they do their evaluations.

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E.S.

answers from Kansas City on

Well my daughter will be two if febuary and she only says a few words here and there. We do speech with her but she doesn't get to socialize with kids her age at all. So socially she probably is way behind. But she has always been ahead of the game when it came to physical activity. so don't worry to much each child develops differently and learns differently too. I'm not sure if you are familiar with the theory about multiple intelligences but it pretty much tells you that while some people learn best by using their hands or body to learn others are auditory and some are visual. try to find out how your son learns best and encourage this learning. if he is very much the physical child work more on teaching him through touch.

A friend told me about what they were doing with her daughter since she is way behind due to her health issues. anything that makes noise usually is a fun game for kids. so if a child's cup is empty teach them to take the cup to the counter and bang the cup on the counter to let you know they need more. She uses this to help her daughter let her know when she needs to go potty or be changed by knocking on the bathroom door. Just get creative and don't give up. In most cases boys do talk later than girls.

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L.C.

answers from Dallas on

Are you seeing a developmental Pediatricain or ECI? Are you spreading out Vaccines? My son lost his language also at that age and he has autism. If I knew back then I would have spread out and eliminated certain vaccines. www.generationrescue.org
or TalkingAboutCuringAutism has lots of information. I am not saying your son has autism, just giving you information. Homoepathy with a certified Classical Homeopath has been wonderful for us. Dr. Dan Cook in Dallas is excelent. Where do you go for therapy? You can email me privately and I would be glad to help.
____@____.com
L.

L.S.

answers from Bismarck on

Hi J.,

I know how you feel, we had a little one that was not developing at "normal" timeframes. I would say that it does sound like his understanding is good if he can point to his body parts. If you're really concerned that something may be wrong, go to your pediatrician first and then see where you can take him to be evaluated. They will evaluate him in all areas. Then you know if there are some issues and can start getting him more help or maybe it will just put your mind at ease that everything is fine!!

I hope this helps J.!! You're a good mommy!!

L.

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B.C.

answers from Dallas on

We have issues like that with our 23mo daughter. You need to be getting thereapy that works. send me a private and I will give you my number.

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