My 2 Yo's Tantrums & Screaming: Is It Just a Phase or Need I Worry?

He has some serious signs of ADHD - in addition to being two. I'd advise you to look at an elimination diet - get rid of all processed food and artificial colors, see if it makes a difference. http://www.adhdhelp.org/diet-adhd.htm

Most of the two year olds that I know, have been screamers and tantrum throwers, but they seem to grow out of it just fine. My oldest child didn't really go through this, but my youngest did. With my youngest, she was sick a lot with her asthma, and I believe that the medication that she took spawned a lot of her irratability and screaming. Sometimes she would even convey to me that she was in pain before it would all start. What I would do, that sometimes worked (not all the time) was just try to remain calm and not join in on the screaming. If I started screaming, yelling, or punishing, it would make her cry longer and harder. After awhile, she would usually stop, climb up in my lap, and go to sleep. After a few months, she stopped doing it altogether. On another note, I have a little nephew who was very spoiled, and would throw tantrums to get his way. I learned quickly that he just wanted someone to see him throw a fit. What I did was just completely ignore him, and instructed the older children in the house to do the same. The others went on with their playing, and I would sit and read a book or crochet. After a short while, he would stop screaming and start looking around to see who was watching. He would give up once it dawned on him that nobody cared about his tantrum. He once told me that I was not being nice to him. I told him that I was very sorry that he felt that way....and went on reading my book! I don't know if he still throws tantrums at his own house, but he's never had another one at mine. LOL!

I think this is a stage and a ploy for attention. He is probably responding the only way a 2 year old knows how to respond when a new baby comes into the family. I know my son (then 20 months) went through a major tantrum phase when his sister first arrived too. It lasted until she was more mobile and didn't need quite so much of my time. Be patient, be VERY FIRM, and be understanding of him and things will get better with time. We constantly were saying things like "I know that you are angry, but mommy needs you to use your words so I can help." and "When you calm down, I will be glad to talk to you." and "In our house, we...(whatever the expected behavior was such as keep our forks on the table, or use an inside voice, or talk with love to each other, etc.) Best of luck - I've been there and I remember how hard it was!

I think it's a two fold situation for him. He is getting older and wants to express his emotions, but isn't able to do that appropriatly yet, so he tantrums. On top of that, he has a brand new sibling that he is compeating for attention with. I am sure that the only way his younger sibling is getting attention is when it cries (like most normal babies) so he is mimicking that behavior to get your attention. I know it's hard, but try to patient with him. If you can, try and schedule Mommy and me time with him. When he gets upset leave him in a safe place, tell him that when he calms down you will discuss what ever the problem is and walk away. Don't give him negative or positive attention until he has calmed down. Remember children need and want attention, even if it's negative. The more you respond to the tantrum, the more he is getting his "fix" for attention. When you no longer give him the "fix" he needs the behavior will stop. Like wise, if you lavish attention for positive behavior it will increase. Hope this helps.
TD

well i'm kinda in the same situation as you. my son is two and 1/2 and has some tantrums but not as much as a normal 2 and 1/2 does. my son also has a developmental delay, and he does whine in his sleep, and the doctors and i have yet to find out why. but his nuerologist has suggested that i give him melotin to put him in that rim sleep, and it will also help him sleep through the night. if you find anything else that has helped your child besides melotin hit me up cuz its starting to ware off of my son( becoming like water to him).

I have a 7 year old with developmental delays who was also with ECI and the early developmental educational programs at the public schools (where our kids go when they turn 3). Please don't take this the wrong way, but YES! The fact that your son has developmental delays of any sort affect his ability to communicate and express what he wants. Give him options, that lead to your request if he is defiant, tell him if he wants to yell, he can do that in the bathroom...give him ways to exercise control...if he knows he can yell, but only in the bathroom, he's more likely to comply in the long run over time. Watch the developmental delay issue closely. If you have not had your son evaluated at the Village of Home with Dr. Chris Johnson in San Antonio (part of the UTHSC SA University Hospital system) get your child there now. Any developmental delay of any sort on the developmental spectrum needs to be monitored closely...and don't expect the ECI people to do it for you. If you don't have a case manager, get one with Any Baby Can,,,,,and find out from them what resources are available to help you and your mum. You have your hands full. Just try to remember when your son is yelling and having a fit...well, it's an effort to communicate and he is frustrated and overwhelmed. My poor son was overwhelmed with the sensory input experienced at WalMart and HEB....just where else do new mums go with young children and little money? Well, everytime we went in my poor baby would scream at the top of his lungs...and he would get the perfect pitch in his tone that was the most irritating sound I had ever heard. Torture...let someone listen to this child for 30 minutes. There were often times I left HEB with a shopping cart full of stuff in the aisle because I couldn't stand it...let alone the rest of the store! So, no easy answers. Yes, this is normal, if it gets extreme make sure a developmental specialist continues to monitor..well, have them evaluate now and continue to monitor to make sure he is moving forward and progressing as best as possible. Find ways for him to express his needs/desires/wants..sign language often works. But, don't forget, you are the adult, he is the child, and while he is frustrated, you are too but you are the one with better control than he....and you are still an example to the other children in your house. In short, hang in there, get the help from ABC or someother agency, check with United Way, and love your babies..hug your 2 year old hard, and hold him tight, he needs your love and hugs more than you will ever know, and with hard work and prayers and time and miracles, your son will hug you back and express fully what he wants and may you one day look back and be glad those frustrating days are over and your son is doing well. You are Mum...miracle- understanding-minister to your family. You are a very powerful and strong person...otherwise, you would not be you.

I also have a two year old who has started whining for everything he wants. The best thing to do is not to give in to the behavior. They are testing their limits to see what they can get away w/and if you are not completely consistent they will continue the undesirable behavior. I am also the mother of 4, and the best thing I have found to do is be consistent. Good luck!

I think it is just a stage. I have a 3yr old who will be four in Feb and a 10 month old. When the older one was 2, he would scream and cry when he didn't get his way when throwing the worst tamtrums. Like you, I realized that I was yelling more often and felt terrible, but the stress overwhelmed me. He has matured so much in the last year. It's amazing. He helps so much with his little brother. Esp if I tell him I have an important job for him. Just give it time and remember to breathe deep when your blood pressure rises!