Must. Get. Sleep.

Updated on October 09, 2012
C.R. asks from Everett, WA
8 answers

Hi Mamas!

Help! My husband is a nurse and he just started working the night shift (7PM-7AM) at the local hospital... Waahh! :( No matter how tired I am, I can't seem to sleep any longer than 20-30 minute intervals, then I'm awake for an hour or more in between. I used to take Melatonin and I know "they" say it doesn't really have side effects, but it did not work for me. It put me to sleep quickly, but didn't keep me asleep and it made me nauseous and VERY groggy in the mornings. I've tried music, books on CD, warm tea... Then the longer I lie awake, the more worked up I get about not sleeping! Any ideas for me? I'm getting short with my daughter in the evenings because I'm so exhausted... I'm sleep-walking through life!

Thank you!

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So What Happened?

Thank you! Sleepytime Tea - I'll try that! I've been careful not to drink tea with caffeine - I'm not even eating chocolate at night anymore just in case it will keep me up - now THAT'S a sacrifice - haha. But I haven't tried Sleepytime - buying some tomorrow! My husband and I normally read every single night for about 40 mintues (actual books), but I'm so tired my eyes seem to cross! I definitely need to be better about no electronics for a long while before bed. It's a hard and fast rule for our daughter because I know it's necessary and she's calm enough for bed. But... I'm not as good about it for myself - the quiet at night bothers me. Do as I say, not as I do, right?? :) You are SO right though, getting off the computer now to get some sleep!

I SO want to go for walks - awesome idea. The problem is that my kidlet is asleep by 7PM and up until that point we're frantically eating dinner before my husband leaves for the night, then it's bath, books and the like. I can't leave her. SO random that you'd suggest reading a fairy tale - I JUST picked up "The Princess Bride" from the library this weekend. I love that movie and wanted to read the book. Great idea!

I love the deodorant idea, too - that's cute and I'm so trying that! I think it's more of a matter of feeling "safe" when he's home, but I wouldn't mind smelling him either and maybe it will work subconsciously and keep me asleep. :) The schedule flip flop thing won't really work for us because my daughter goes to preschool three mornings a week and I teach two-three days a week. Otherwise I just might consider that - the thought has crossed my mind! He hasn't been on this shift very long - I'm hoping I get used to it. But by then he'll get a day shift - am I right!? :)

Thanks ladies!! Keep them coming if you have more!

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S.R.

answers from El Paso on

I second the vote for Sleepytime by Celestial Seasonings!! My mom drinks it every night before bed, and she has a REALLY hard time falling asleep if she doesn't drink it. What about reading an actual book? (Not on CD) That's what I primarily use to shut my brain off. Knitting used to put me to sleep in no time. Granted, I was just straight knitting all the way across (no special pattern) for a WHOLE lot of stitches... :)

1 mom found this helpful

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

If this is because he's gone...

1) REMEMBER this feeling for when your kids face change (like cosleeping to single, or crib to bed... And. Are. Up. Half. The. Night.

2) Try sleeping elsewhere. Even 'upside down' in your bed, or on HIS side... So that you're not waking up because you reach over and he's gone. But, if that doesn't work... Try the couch /futon / kids room, etc. just to train your brain to stop reaching out for him.

3) put on HIS deodorant & or Cologne before you go to sleep, so that whenever you move you smell 'him'.

If its because you're afraid to not wake when your kids need you...

1) LOUD monitor

2) sleep in their room (again just for a couple days)

If its habitual insomnia

1) Benadryl (active ingredient in Tylenol PM).

2) Doctor

If its being 'afraid' to be alone

1) Play music

2) Get a dog

3) invite/beg a friend /sister/parent over for a few nights

4) Leave lights on

Other random options

1) Sex before he leaves for work (even a quickie)

2) Hot chocolate or Vanilla Steamer (the only way warm milk tastes good to ME, but warm milk plain is just as effective)

3) Warm baths

4) Academic Pursuits (aka make your brain tired studying)

5) Cleaning (even typing that makes me sleepy!

6) Stay up SUPER late (4 hours of sleep in a block being better than 4 hours in 30 minute bites)

7) Move your toddlers bedtime EARLY (like 5pm) so you have an hour alone w hubs before work), and YOUR bedtime EARLY (like 730pm or 8pm) so you're both up super early and have time together as a family in the morning. This gives you and hour with H, 2 hours self time, 4am wake up. Lunch/Dinner w husband. Alternatively, instead of a half schedule, (as opposed to opposite schedules), you could MATCH his schedule. Doesn't mess kids up any more than traveling (aka, about a week to get over 'jet lag'.) I know a few families that do this (not many), but it only makes sense when kids aren't in school & the shift is longer than a few months.

4 moms found this helpful

A.W.

answers from Kalamazoo on

I'm addicted to a fan - the noise and the air movement.
Also, turn the clock so you can't see it directly.

3 moms found this helpful
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C.M.

answers from Chicago on

In the evening, take a walk. Taking a walk calms the mind and takes away your focus on your internal problems.

Turn off the TV and all electronic devices at least an hour before you head to bed. Electronic devices stimulate the brain.

Try reading a book of fairy tales! I know it sounds silly, but oftentimes it works. I'm serious!

You can't just drink any warm tea--tea has caffeine in it! I suggest a cup of Celestial Seasonings Sleepytime tea.

Cool down the bedroom. It's hard to sleep when it's too hot. You can even try a fan on you.

Try exercising during the day. That will help relieve some of the tension and get your body sleepier in the evenings. Even something light like stretching and some pushups.

Try Chicken soup or turkey soup. Both have tryptophan in them that can help you sleep.

Stop stressing about it. The more you stress, the harder it will be. Laugh. Play with your daughter. The happier you are, the better you will sleep.

Good luck! And Good night!

1 mom found this helpful
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M.R.

answers from Seattle on

The only item I can add to Riley's is...have you tried Valerian Root?

I find that Melatonin does nothing for me. But Valerian Root - that's a different result completely for me. I usually have not problem falling asleep, it's staying asleep, so we sound similar. I sleep through...the...night...with Valerian.

500 MG each night and honest - no side effects.
GL!

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S.H.

answers from Des Moines on

What worked for me was keeping a tv on and time. I just had to get used to it....and now it's no big deal at all. Hang on...it won't be forever :)

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F.B.

answers from New York on

This might not be a popular response, but I recommend you take some night time sleep aid like tylenol PM, nyquil or something else for a few nights. A drug induced sleep isn't the best sleep, but it seems like you are seriously off kilter. A few nights rest might get you re-habituated to getting and remaining asleep while your hubs works the night shift.

The whole family will be much happier for it.

good luck to you and yours,
F. B.

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Sleepytime tea (or any chamomile tea)
Melotonin (I don't get after effects from it - it's short lived - you take it 30 before you settle down, but it's true it doesn't help keep you asleep)
Valarian (this will give me some weird dreams every once in awhile)
L-Ornithine
You can try some ZZZquil (it's Nyquill with the cold remedy stuff taken out).
You might try getting a body pillow so you feel like Hubby is next to you when he can't be.
Put a tee shirt on it that he's worn.
For me, I like a cool room, quiet and complete darkness for sleeping.
I'm caffeine sensitive so I can not have any after noon.
Exercise earlier in the day can help tire you out for the night - just don't do it within 2 hours of bedtime.

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