EDITED because of your update, its NOT 1yr OR 20lbs its 1yr AND 20lbs, and your state, even without a 1yr/20lbs law, has a proper usage clause stating that the seat must be used to the manufacturers specifcations, and there is not one seat on the market that allows forward facing before 1yr AND 20lbs, so if you get into a crash ,even if your seat fails, its your fault for not properly securing your child. "Your husband should know this as an officer, but sadly (And no offense to your husband) but police officers don't know much about car seat safety and are usually the worst offenders when it comes to car seat usage.
There isn't a Britax seat with removable headrest, htat sounds like a First Years TrueFit. Please find a CPST at www.safekids.org to help you and get the seat installed properly, used properly, and get you some up to date information.
Here is the law in North Carolina. The first line is the proper usage law, must be used according to manufacturers specifications.
Restraint Required:
» A properly used child restraint device (CRD) is required if the child is less than 8 years old AND weighs less than 80 pounds. Most parents and other care givers will be able to comply by using belt-positioning booster seats for children between 40 and 80 pounds. The child must be within the weight range for the child restraint/booster seat and it must meet Federal standards in effect at time of manufacture. <<
Oh mama, your baby is tiny, and nowhere near ready to forward face. Head control has nothing to do with it.... her spine is immature and will remain that way until she is betwen 3-6yrs old. She needs to remain rear facing for at least another year. THe AAP, NTHSA, and all car seat manufacturers recommend children remain rear facing until the rear facing weight limit of their car seat, or at least 2yrs and 30lbs.
You have her in an infant bucket seat, she needs to be moved to a rear facing convertible car seat.
You do not need to spend a fortune to get a good reliable car seat. I love my Britax seats, but I would never tell anyone they are the only seat they should purchase.
Cosco Scenera is $50, will rear face to 35lbs (new ones to 40lbs), forward face to 40lbs, and is a good bare bones seat. Its a good safe seat for a low price. Its not padded much but its still very safe and should last most kids to age 3 when another higher harness weight seat should be purchased.
Evenflo Triumph ADVANCE is $130 and will rear face to 35lbs and forward face to 50lbs. Great seat, no thread harness adjustments! Will fits most kids to age 5 forward facing, its a really nice padded and lots of features seat for a low price.
First Years TrueFit is $170-$230 will rear face to 35lbs and forward face to 65lbs. Nice tall seat that fits older kids well, most kdis can use to age 6/7.
Graco MyRide 65 is $150, will rear face to 40lbs, forward to 65lbs. EXCELLENT seat for extended rear facing and is a big comfy padded seat. Fits most kids to 4 rear facing and 5/6 forward facing!
SUnshine Kids Radian is $200-$300 will rear face to 40-45lbs, forward face to 65-80lbs (depending on model) and is a narrow seat, fits three across and into smaller cars easily. NICE seats.
Britax Marathon or Boulevard is $270-$300 will rear face to 35lbs (new ones will to 40lbs) and forward face to 65 (new ones will to 70lbs) I love our Britax seats ,the yare well made, easy to use and install too.
These seats will all work perfectly for your child, please go to the store and look at them, put him in them, try them out and see what you like .AVOID the 3-in-1 seats like the Cosco Alpha Omega nd the Eddie Bauer 3-in-1, etc. They are ok rear facing, but are outgrown really fast forward and they make horrible booster seats, they've failed EVERY crash test they've been in.... you never want to use one of those seats as a booster. Not worth the money, you can get a better longer lasting seat for the same money.
Also, here are some car seat safety tips that you may not know.
When rear facing, the harness should be just at or below the shoulders. THis prevents the child from riding up in the seat in a crash.
CHildren should remain rear facing as long as possible. THe law sucks but states 1yr AND 20lbs, however the AAP, NHTSA, Safekids, etc all recommend children remain rear facing untli they outgrow the rear facing convertible car seat, or at least 2yrs and 30lbs. Feet touching the seat are NOT a problem, and there has been no documented case of broken legs while rear facing. Please google INTERNAL DECAPITATION, JOELS JOURNEY, and EXTENDED REAR FACING for more information.,
The harness should be snug as a hug, and the chest clip should be level with hte armpits, no lower no higher. No bulky clothing in the car seat, and no aftermarket products are allowed. A rear facing car seat is outgrown when the childs goes over the rear facing weight limit or there is less than one inch of shell above the childs head.
You need a convertible car seat, please purchase one like listed above, they are all great seats that will last your child rear facing for at least another year and forward facing unti your child is old enough and mature enough for a high back booster seat (at least 4yrs old and 40lbs).