Moving to Florida: Should I Make My 17 Yr Old Go, Let Him Stay with a Friend?

Personally I would postpone my move and stay to support my son in his last year of school. I would hope my BF would understand that my children have to come first and would wait for me happily, and if he was unwilling to do so I would consider him not the right match for me.

But, I don't think leaving him behind would make you a bad parent either, as long as you know he is in a safe and supervised situation. Sometimes hard choices have to be made.

No way in HELL would I uproot my child in his senior year of high school so that I could go play house. Long distance relationships are ok for romance--not for parenting.

Your son is SO close to being done. You and your BF need to make the sacrifice and let your son finish his high school education without any disruptions or threats. Stay where you are. Let him graduate, and THEN follow your BF.

I dated my husband long distance for 3.5 years before we got married. He wanted me to finish college in his city, but I stood my ground and we waited. It was the responsible thing to do then, even without kids in the mix. Think with your mom brain, not with your girlfriend brain.

This is a no brainer. I think you need to put your son first. Be his mom and stay until he graduates. If your relationship suffers because of good parenting toss the guy to the curb. Do not make him go with you. You already moved him once and he sounds like he is doing well.

It actually floors me that a parent would choose a 10 month relationship over their own child.

Geez, your bf can't wait ONE year til the kid graduates? No way I would leave my kid at that important stage of his life.

:(

Two concerns:
1. You've been with your new guy only 10 months. This seems very fast to be uprooting even the younger kids. Older son is also likely to think "Mom left me to go be with Mr. Wonderful."
2. You says your son is academically motivated, but then you think he might not finish high school once he turns 18 if you make him move. If his ambition is so fragile that a move to another state might destroy it, that's even more reason why he needs YOUR direct supervision and guidance for the next 12 months.

Stay and finish raising your son. If this boyfriend is so great he will totally understand, and wait for you. And if he doesn't he clearly doesn't understand the importance of family and you (and your younger kids) are better off without him.
A real man, and potential father, will want to marry with you, not just shack up.

I propose that you stay where you are with your three kids at least until your oldest graduates. If your boyfriend is the right man for you, he would not expect you to leave your child nor uproot your whole family for him after just 10 months of knowing him.

You and your boyfriend can travel back and forth, have a long distance relationship for a year. Don't leave your son or uproot him at this crucial stage of his life.

As the child of a mom who was a serial dater and moved me and my sister around to suit herself regarding relationships, I speak from experience. Moving around a lot when you're in school SUCKS LARGE. And moving your entire family for a man you pretty much met less than a year ago is not responsible.

Stay the last year and continue to let the relationship with the new man grow. It may be a long distance relationship but it's doable. It's totally not fair to your children to move them across country for a relationship this young. Has he proposed? I didn't see that mentioned. Unless there's a ring and a date involved, then no way. And even if there was a ring and a date, you still should wait and let your oldest finish school.

Yes, you should be happy, BUT not at the expense of your children. It's not all about you. It's about ALL of you. If he's a man worth keeping, he will wait, work with you, travel to see you, and you can to see him. If he's not, you have your answers.

Who's your bigger priority? Your child or the new man in your life?

No, I would not do this. I would do a long-distance relationship myself before I would either uproot my 17 year old or leave him for a year. He is so close to being an adult...do you really want to miss the last year of his childhood?

There are so many important moments coming up for your oldest son. His 18th birthday, final Homecoming, Prom, Graduation...

My vote is to stay with your oldest son. Yes your younger kids deserve a chance at normal, but there is nothing normal about having your 17 year old brother live half the country away.

You are not yet married to this new guy. Being in the Air Force, means that he is set up for deployments. What happens if you move to FL and he gets deployed? Then you are living in FL, away from your son, without this guy. Would that be a normal environment for your two youngers?

My vote is to stay where you are at least until next year when he graduates, and maybe do trips during the summer to FL.

I have to agree with the other posters. I think if your boyfriend is the man of your dreams he will wait until your son graduates.
Also this is just a boyfriend, not a finance or even a husband yet.
You could visit your boyfriend in Florida just as much as you plan to visit your son if you leave.
Many blessings to you

You know what you need to do, which is put your relationship on hold and go long-distance until your son has graduated and it onto the next phase of his life. This is the last year of your son's childhood. I can't even begin to wrap my head around the idea that you would leave him behind for that. If your boyfriend is really marriage material, then you relationship with him can handle some distance while you let your son finish his senior year in his school with his friends.

This is a very clear cut case where you need to be a grown up and put your child's needs first. It's not forever, it's a year. You can do this.

School is only 7 months out of an entire year.

"I would come back often", then why can't you stay with your son and visit your boyfriend often, till you can move?

10 months is way to early to move across country, uproot young kids and leave your oldest son to raise himself. I'm sure you had all these giddy feelings about your other kids father/s at 10 months. Do yourself and your kids a favor and AT LEAST be engaged before you uproot everyone.

If this new guy really loves you and you said you need more of a commitment from him before you uproot everyone, then he should understand. If he tells you he's not ready to be engaged, then tell him a long distance relationship is the best you can do at least until your son graduates.

I hope you make the right decision for your kids at least.

Usually, we moms differ widely on posts. Notice we are 99.9% here?

I'd wait until he graduates . . . hopefully your BF will understand. And if he doesn't, that tells you something too.

Not that this would happen to your son, but my son had appendicitis a month before he turned 18. I took him to the pediatrician and then straight on to the hospital where he had immediate surgery (literally the whole episode was maybe 6 hours from start to finish).

All this being said, I agree with Rosebud on this issue. Your son may be handle all of this very well and be fine. But isn't it a little soon with the boyfriend? Hope that doesn't sound judge-y. Just asking a real question.

Good luck with your decision!

Mom, You need to stay and let your son graduate with his class. He needs your guidance! This is the year that he will need your help more than ever. It is last year before he is considered an adult.

The class work is a bit harder, there are a lot of decisions to be made about him continuing his education or looking for training. Paperwork, workshops, parent meetings.

Important events in his life, that you will not want to miss out on.

I concur with the other moms. Your boyfriend can wait if he really loves you. You can always go for visits. Schedule them out so you will know exactly when you are going for visits. The school, probably already has the schedule for next year. At least here where we live the school Calendar is usually released in January.

Heck if you are planning on marrying him, take this year to plan the wedding. Saving up and making the plans

You are asking this question because you already know the answer. You want permission to put yourself above your son. No. Sorry. Not getting that from me.

If this guy is as great as you think or feel? Then he will wait for you or figure out a way to make your relationship work. If you believe that your boyfriend will suffer? He's not the "father figure" you want for your son or ANY child.

You would be making a HUGE mistake if you left your son. HUGE. Don't move. True love will wait. True love has patience. True love will understand that parenting is more important than a romp in the hay.

S.

I would stay there until he finished high school. You've known your son for 17 years and this man for 10 months. Who is more important to you? If the relationship is a good one, it will last during the long distance for a year.

Welcome to mamapedia!!

If this is true love? It will wait. I would stay and allow my son to finish high school. IF he wants to go to college? They will be looking at his records and a move between junior/senior year may make the difference. Consistency counts....

You aren't married to this guy yet. STAY PUT.

Your son needs YOU NOW. He needs YOU to guide him. Not other people from a small town. STAY.

Stay with your son, let him finish his last year of school with his friends. If your boyfriend is that great of a guy and a great father figure than he should be willing to let you do what is best for your kids for a year. If you would come back often to visit your son, you can go visit your boyfriend instead. And of course your son really wants you to be happy and go, that means he gets a year of unsupervised fun (Really? You think just because it's a small town he would be watched at all times?). Parenting means making sacrifices, so be the parent and stay with your child. A year isn't that long to have a long distance relationship if it's as solid as you say.

Your question is - Should I make my 17 yr old go, let him stay with a friend?

Neither. You should stay put for now, until your oldest graduates.

Forcing the move now will cause relationship problems between you, your son, and your boyfriend.

Leaving him behind will show him that you've chosen being with a man over living with your child.

You can move to Florida in a year or so. I know that isn't what you want to do, but this isn't just about your wants. It is about the best possible option for your child, and your other two options are not good ones.

As far as the younger kids go, a 10 month relationship is still too early to consider him a father figure, let alone moving them to another state and away from their last year with their brother.

I would stay with your son and see him graduate , if your boyfriend loves u and wants to marry u he will understand . Your son can promise you tons of things but the thing is senior year is challenging, he still needs guidance :)

I would say stay where you are! You owe it to your almost-senior to stick it out with him, keep an eye on him and get him successfully off to college. If your boyfriend is Mr. Right, he'll understand about you not moving to be with him in order to keep your family together. If he won't wait, he's not for you -- your kids come first at this stage. Once your oldest is off to college, then you can think about moving to be with the guy because the younger two wouldn't even be in middle school yet. Also, why would you think your son would drop out at 18 if you move when you say he has ambitions and plans to go to college?

If your relationship suffers because of a temporary separation then it was not meant to be. Your first obligation is to your son. You say you would come back a visit your son frequently so why not just stay put and visit your BF "often"?

You are only fooling yourself if you truly believe there would be eyes on your son all the time in your absence.

As far as staying with friends for an entire school year... That is a lot to ask of another parent to take responsibility of your 17/18 yo son. His friends may do it but would their parents agree to this? It is not like a weekend visit after all. It is also quite an expense to feed a 18 yo. I hope you would plan on compensating them if you go this route.

Frankly, this plan sounds very selfish to me.

Stay with your son-it's one year-if lover boy can't deal-then he's not for u and no father figure for the young lads.

Your priority should be your children not a man that you have known for 10 months.

I think you should stay put until your son graduates high school.

You can maintain a long distance relationship with your boyfriend for a year. If he can't handle that fact that you are making your children your priority, then he isn't good husband material.

If he loves you, and cares about you like you think he does, he will wait for you for a year.

You can go and visit the boyfriend often, and keep in contact with him daily. All while staying with ALL three of your children. Children who you brought into the world, and who rely and depend on you for your support. Even a high school senior needs a parent to be present in his daily life.

So yeah...I would agree with anyone who suggests you would would be abandoning your son. You would be. Don't do it.

I got only half way through before thinking, `why would you leave your child over a man`. Glancing at other responses I can see I am not alone in my thoughts.

P.,
I think you already know the answer, and you do not like it. I am sorry I am being too honest, but this is what I see. You desperately need validation because you found a wonderful man you want to spend the rest of your life with; you are trying to convince yourself to leave in Fl your son counting on the Mormon landlord and the Mormon aunt, and the whole town where everyone will keep an eye on him, not really believe me. You also have 2 more children, and you would take them with you to live in FL with a man you actually know for 10 months?
This IS the issue, this is the problem I see: you don't know this man, plain and simple. It would be the best to wait until your kid graduates from High School; your relationship with this man should not suffer IF he is really into a strong and serious relationship with you, period. Take your time and think of your kids first. Be patient.

Ditto what other people have e said about not leaving him and from summer till end of school isn't even a full year to do long distance. And not like you would be leaving him with a stable married couple you have known for years and years and your son is like their son and the boys are like brothers. This is a single mom who travels?? No way!

WOW! Abandoning your son for some man! I just never understand women doing that. Baffles me!!!

Uprooting your children's lives for a boyfriend is never a good idea. If this man really loves you he should marry you, and be fully emotionally and LEGALLY committed to you and your kids before asking you to do this.
If this is the real deal he will understand that you need to at least stay and finish raising your son before making such a life altering decision. And if that's not good enough for him then you know he's not worth it.

Has "your boyfriend" given you a ring? If not not a good idea. He just wants someone he knows to be with him in Florida.

You have a year with your son before he goes off to college or to work or to the service. Spend that last year together as child and parent. Make that bond strong between the two of you. You can find a man anywhere but not a son. What you do will speak volumes of how he feels about you in the future.

Florida is a long ways away from Colorado. Do you have the money in the bank in case things don't work out and you have to move back with the other two kids? Military life is not what most women think. You might as well stay where you are as you will be a single mom that is married and bringing up children on her own. When orders are sent down the member goes and sometimes we wives are left behind. There is no "can you get them to change that because...." Sorry no is the answer and you deal with it. Does not sound like you have really thought this through.

Just one more year. In that year you will find out who you really are and if it is meant to be it will be. Don't put the cart before the horse. Slow and steady. He can come back and visit you. You will get to know who he is away from you. Absence sometimes does not make the heart grow fonder.

I have seen many things as a military wife. I just want to spare you some heartache.

the other S.

PS Keep us posted. Don't do anything stupid that you will regret.

PPS If you are not married you will not be able to get on base/post to shop to take care of medical issues. You are a persona non grada in the eye of the government. If your children are by another person, you will not get child support even. No marriage no acknowledgement.

I think it would be more wise to keep dating this man long distance. You travel to Florida often to see him...or meet him often over the next year. Keep dating and getting to know him and be there for your son during his senior year. 10 months is not long. Keep dating him another year. If you both are still wanting to get married then plan a wedding once your son is done with school. THEN see your son off to college and move in with this man. There is no hurry. The more you get to know this man, the more rock solid your marriage will be. It is the right thing to do...to be there for your son. A year is not long to wait and mature adults can easily handle doing something like this. Good luck.

No I wouldn't leave him in CO even with the plans he has made. Kids think they are grown up enough to take care of things but really they need a parent who will be there to guide them along. I think your 17 yr old has been thru enough changes and should be able to finish school with his friends so your choice is to stay for 1 yr and make it work with this wonderful guy that you've met or move your family to FL and have a brooding 17 yr old.

Your son comes first. Personally, if your boyfriend can't wait you being together one more year, he's not in it for the long haul. Good relationships can survive a year of long distance - my husband and I spent 6 of our 12 premarital years long distance and we are celebrating our 15th wedding anniversary this august - and honestly, if he lets you leave your son, he doesn't have your or your son's best interest at heart.

You don't deserve happiness at the expense of your children. Please, put your children first!!

Your younger children do not need this other shot at a "family" right now. They need a mom who will keep their brother in their home and make the family they have...feel like a family.

Please!! Please!! Don't do this! Leaving your son will show really what is more important to you...and it ain't him. Show him that you are putting him first, your family first and their needs first. The set up you have sounds ridiculous. It is your eyes that should be on him...not your small town where everyone knows everyone. Sure your son came up with this idea. ..cuz he is immature and knows his mom is looking for love. Heck..my 14 year old would be happy with this set up. But that doesn't mean it is best!!!!!!!!!!

Don't do this P.. You know deep down what you should do. As one mommy to another.....please be happy with being a mommy right now. You will find love again..but not when it means sacrificing your children to get it. If your boyfriend REALLY loves you and values you as a mother then he will understand you choosing your child over him. Stay with your son and choose the "visits" and "checking in daily" to be with your boyfriend instead.

You've got a 17 year (plus 9 months) relationship with your son.
I'd stay until he is graduated.
If your new relationship with this boyfriend is meant to be, he'll understand completely, he'll support you in your decision, and he'll wait for you and your kids.
He can't be completely insensitive to the plight of his future step son teen who'd have to miss his senior year with his friends.
And to not be there when he turns 18?
He might be quite independent but I'd want to BE THERE for my son!

Honestly, I've known SO MANY people whirlwind relationships/marriages that were just a case of people jumping into it much too quickly and they ended in disaster.
If your relationship will suffer from a year apart, it's not that stable and not worth gambling on.

I would not have my son live with a friend for a year.
I would stay put and it can be kind of romantic to have a long distance courting for a year.
My husband and I courted for the better part of 9 years - much of it long distance - and this was when land line phones and snail mail were the only means of communication - before we married.
We met in high school and had a lot of growing up to do - but we grew up before we jumped into it.
We celebrate our 25th anniversary this summer!

I haven't read all the other answers, sorry, but I want to point out one thing....

Graduation requirements can differ greatly from state to state, and if you force him to move with you to Florida, it may very well keep him from graduating on time.

If he is allowed to stay in that small town with supervision, he has a better chance of graduating as he wants to.

Also... are you marrying this boyfriend of yours, or just going to shack up with him?

Can you not postpone your happiness for a year for the benefit of your older son? (I know you said he would be a good father figure to your younger sons, but your older son is at a very critical time for him, also.)

If the relationship is meant to be, it will withstand a year's separation......

Stay with your son. Do not uproot him right now.

My dad took a promotion/transfer when my older brother had 3 1/2 months of his senior year left and he was allowed to stay with my aunt/uncle to finish out the year. We were only 2 hours away, he was with family, and it was only a few months. It was still difficult, and left an odd feeling with ME, the younger sibling who went on with our parents and started over in a new state at a new school in 10th grade, alone.
I think they did the right thing, but it still changed the family dynamic quite a bit. If it had been for an entire year, I'm not sure my dad would have accepted the transfer at that point in his career?
You are not bound to your boyfriend. He's a boyfriend, not even your fiance. And military orders can change.

I would stay. Visit the boyfriend, let him visit you. Do not leave your son, and do not drag him across the country his senior year. You didn't even mention the potential ramifications for qualifying for graduation at a new school. In some places, it is quite possible he might not have met the requirements for graduation. They are different in different places, you know.
Stay with him where you ARE.

I think that you would look back and regret this for the rest of your life. Stay with your son, it's only a year. If this boyfriend is worth anything, he would understand your decision.

I would stay with your son until he graduates. If you really love this boyfriend and know that someday you might get married, then you should have no problem doing a long distance relationship for 1 year. It's ONLY 1 year. My husband was in the marines and we made it through 1 6 month deployment before were married at 19 years old and after we got married we had another 6 month deployment. It's not easy but if it's real, then 1 year shouldn't be a problem. Put your son first.
Or if you want to just run off with this boyfriend, then let your son stay with his friend and finish school. I went to 3 different high schools because my parents liked to move a lot. It was a nightmare.

I would stay with your son. His plan doesn't seem real concrete to me and you have a duty still as his mom to help see him through to the best future possible. I know you have great plans for you now... But it doesn't have your oldest sons best interests as a priority does it? Make a travel plan to see your boyfriend... Maybe he'll help fund that too. He will likely get more serious from separation. :) (seperation makes the heart grow stronger.) You seriously need to be there to make sure you older son doesn't flake out in his last year and not go to college or get a good life plan going. His entire life can be derailed if he doesn't 'hold it together this year.' So please stay in town and in the picture! Be the 'nagging mom.' While you can. If he flakes out anyways, then up and move. If not then, be there to see your son through into adulthood, and then focus on you. You can make this work long distance. Have a date in mind to move after your oldest son graduates. It'll give you time to find a job, school, downsize you stuff, make a plan. If it doesn't work out, you're saved from another bad move. :) You deserve to be happy. You won't get this year with your son back, but you could have the rest of your life with your new love. So have this year for you and your kids, then move. If your boyfriend sees you as partners forever then he'll support you and make it work. After all that would make your son and your other kids his kids too. Any dad would want you to stay this year...

i don't have any huge issues with making arrangements for an older teen to spend some time with a host family (i joyfully kept my spare son here for 6 months when his mom moved away so he could finish community college) but i don't think this plan is particularly well thought out.
you've known this man for less than a year. your son has friends, a community, a girlfriend, and only a year to go until he graduates. why on earth not stay there for one more year? if your romance is all of that, it will easily withstand being long-distance for such a brief time. and that will give you a year in which to make sure your oldest son is set up to begin college and an independent life when he's got that diploma.
there are circumstances where making arrangements for an older teen is the best thing to do. i don't think this is one of them.
khairete
S.

I would either stay with your son until he's graduated, or let him stay as long as you check out his plan and the people he'll be staying with while you're gone.

My family moved when I was 17 - in the middle of my junior year of HS and I had to start all over again. I went from being an A - B student to barely graduating from HS. I hated my new school, hated where we lived and generally pissed all over my future with my anger.

I don't blame my parents at all, they did what they had to do. But if I had to do it over again, I would have done what your son is doing. I would have found a feasible way to stay and graduate from the school I'd been going to for years, with the friends I knew and loved.

Also! If this boyfriend of yours *really* loves you? Your relationship will be fine if you stay with your son. Perhaps you should put it and him to the test before you jump in with your younger children ... just sayin'.

:)

Good luck!

Stay for your son to finish high school. The man can wait. If he is worth it, he will understand. What happens when the friends mom is out of town every other week? No supervision for the boys? No way!
Stay for your older son, soon he will be doing his own thing.

Your son is almost an adult. He is old enough to stay with friends and finish up high school. That would not make you a bad parent.

If you know your son is responsible and a good student and that you can trust others to take care of him, then I don't see why not. I would have been comfortable letting any of my kids spend their senior year elsewhere.

To me, the bigger issue is: if you've known this guy less than a year, should you be uprooting your and your other kids' lives in order to be with him? I don't see how you could know him well enough yet.

Yes, you deserve happiness, but you are a mother first, and we are talking about his senior year. Not a time for you not to be parenting him. If this boyfriend is truly forever, then your relationship will survive a year apart. I would stay where you are until your son graduates. This is a very important year for him, and not time for you to put a relationship ahead of your son. I would not transplant him to someplace else and force him to spend his senior year in a new school where he knows nobody. I'm assuming he's spent this year looking at colleges where you live now. Uprooting him for your new man isn't going to make for a good relationship with your son going forward.

If anything happens to your son, living in an apartment without a parent/guardian, while he is still under 18, you could face charges of child abandonment and lose your other children.

If you and your bf are truly meant to be together, then separation for 9 months of the school year should not cause your relationship to "suffer." If you really believe that, then you should re-examine your relationship.

Relationships should NEVER take priority over our children. IMHO, you should stay here and let your son graduate with his friends. If you really feel like you can't do that, then you should let your son stay. That option worries me because you said you already moved once because he was falling in with the wrong crowd. EVERY place has a "wrong crowd." Are you confident he won't fall in with the "wrong crowd" without you being here to be his parent. Sure there are others who will watch out for him, but no one is going to watch him like his own mom would.

I would stay put until your son graduates high school and is 18 years of age. Your children come first, not your boyfriend - if he is really meant to be, and you guys are meant to have a future together, he will understand and will wait to get married and have a life together in FL when it doesn't uproot everyone else. Don't expect other adults to take care of it and look out for him like you would - the friend's mom is gone every other week and somehow you are ok with that? And I'm sorry, but what difference does it make that the apartment landlord and the aunt and uncle are Mormon and live near by? Do you really expect them to be enough of an influence to keep your son on the straight and narrow? Your job as a parent to your son is not done yet, so don't decide to bow out early just because of a romantic relationship. Do what is best for your children, not just what you want for yourself.

You are in a tough spot, but if he's really 'the one', he will be there in a year. I think you should do the long distance boyfriend/girlfriend thing over the long distance parenting thing. It sounds like your 17 year old is in a very vulnerable spot in his life and he needs you more than ever. And, he needs to know you're there for him...not hundreds of miles away.

My father passed away when I was 11. My mom started dating the summer before my senior year (I was 17, my little sis was 14)). It was a struggle to "share" her. I felt left like I was second fiddle, at times. I could not imagine if she would have up and left and left me on my own to finish school.

He was ready to get married and my mom wanted to wait until my little sis was off to college. So, they started dating in '95 and got married in the summer of '98--after my little sis left for college. Looking back, that was extremely unselfish of her to put her 'love' on hold for us. Granted, we lived in the same area, so they still got to see each other regularly.

Also, I've been an Army wife for 13 years. My husband has deployed multiple times and I didn't think we were putting our marriage 'on hold'. We just had to figure out a way to feel close and intimate without actually being close and intimate. And, we are stronger for it!!

One more thing...I've know a few families that received orders the summer before their child was to graduate or during the school year. Typically, the family will stay at the current duty station to allow the child to graduate or child(ren) to finish the year and then husband will go forward to the new duty station. They do what is in the best interest of the kids.

I don't think that considering these options make you a bad mom. I do think that letting the 17 year old stay in an apartment where there is not parental supervision is not a great idea. Is there any family here that you could consider for your son to stay with? Where is your 17 year olds father? is he at all in the picture? How does your son propose to pay for staying at this house? Is he thinking you will pay rent? he will get a job? If you are set on going to florida I would make your son go for his senior year there with you. If you do not have family in the town your son wants to stay. I have a girlfriend who went thru this. Her daughter badly wanted to stay in our town but she made her go with them. The daughter is doing fine. Remind your son that as soon as he graduates from highschool he can choose a college back in the smaller town.

I spent my senior year living with roommates, so my mom could follow a man. I did graduate, and thought at the time it was a great idea. Now as a mom, I think that you can wait one more school year, and stay with your son. If you are going to spend the rest of your life with this man one more year won't hurt, and he will wait if he is worth it.

A lot of families have to move when their kids are seniors. It's hard but I do think if he's got a good place to be...let him stay there. He's only going to be a senior once. If you can't set aside your plans for a year then by all means, let him have his senior year.

If your boyfriend is asking you to move to Florida with him right now, knowing your son has one more year of school left, what does that say about your boyfriend? To me it says he doesn't really care much about your oldest son or your relationship with him. HE should be less selfish and more understanding and not have asked YOU to move right now. HE should be encouraging you to be there for your son, and reassuring you your relationship will stand the test of long-distance for the year with plenty of visits. Take a look at how well he is able to delay gratification in other areas of his life, because I would be concerned about his judgment. Do you really want to be with a man that would ask you to do this right now? Because it seems really selfish to me that he would even ask.

Either wait for the marriage or let your son stay with the friend.

My family moved me and my sister when my sister was ~ 17 and nearly finished with HS. Our parents refused to let her stay with a friend (whose Mom offered) so she could finish up at a great school in a small town, because they thought it would be wrong to "leave her behind".

My sister is over 50 now and she can still get upset about it - she wanted to stay and should have been allowed to do so. And you know, it's not that silly that it bugs her still - she was on a path that was precious to her and worthy of pursuing, and the move truly derailed her.

By the way, we went to Orlando in that move - and the schools were terrible.