Motivating a Child to Want to Learn

I agree w/ Julie V. He is 5. 5 yo's learn by playing. And I'm not talking learning their letters and numbers...I'm talking about learning social interactions, where they fit in the world, who they are. I'd back way off and trust my son that when the time is right for him he'll eat up all that knowledge that you're kinda forcing on him right now. And he DOES love learning...just redefine the qualifications you put on learning and you'll see the glaring truth in that statement.
Good luck!!

Read "The Myth of Laziness" by Mel Levine.

Can you put him in kindergarten, he sounds bored to me.
M.

Reviews at age 5? Wow. Really? Hmmmmm...the way to make anything fun is to well, make it fun. Sounds dumb, but it's true.

Rather than here's your numbers 1-10 and letters ABC why not say here's 1 cup of baking soda, 1/2 cup of dishwashing liquid and 1 cup of vinegar, let's see what happens. Now what happens when we add food coloring...or a dirty penny...or coca cola....or a bone.

He gets plenty of 'boring' stuff at school. I personally see my job as one to invite curiosity. What happens with this, what happens with that. How does this trees' seeds work: Maple vs Peach vs Ash vs Cottonwood...what's the same, what's different?

Curiosity ignites imagination and vice versa.

My suggestion? Focus on fun things and let the schools handle the drill work. :) GL!

You have to find what piques his interest.
If he likes fire trucks, take him on a fire house tour and get him books about fire trucks. At 3 my son could tell the difference between a pumper truck and a ladder truck and he could tell you why they use outriggers. We had some cool fire truck videos and he learned about fire boats, helicopters that dump water, and a really cool super scooper plane they use up in Canada to fight forest fires. He had a minor interest in construction vehicles.
As fire trucks were a waning interest, suddenly dinosaurs were the next thing. We read every "How Do Dinosaurs (Go to Bed, Get Well Soon, etc)" as they came out and he memorized how to pronounce all the names. We went to a museum of natural history and checked out all the dinosaur bones. For Christmas, Grandma got him the whole Walking with Dinosaurs series on DVD. I was a bit worried the Jurassic Park movies would scare him. He LOVED them. He was sure all the dinosaurs (even the scary ones) would be his friends. Grandma bought him a T-Rex model, and he helped me put it together (he was 5 years old and he couldn't wait to bring it into school for show and tell).
Every time he got interested in something, we'd get him books (and coloring books) or look them up in the library. And while you are exploring an interest, you learn to sound out words, count up wheels, tell what colors trucks come in (you'd be surprised how many colors fire trucks come in), etc. They learn and they don't even realize it.
As they get into more school subjects, my son would sometimes complain about something he had to learn that was boring. I told him sometimes we have to slog through the boring things and learn them anyway, but if you can get through that and do your best, then I'll keep up with providing the fun interesting things.
I guess it's a kind of bribery, but it works.
I think there are certain things schools have to cover, and sometimes that's a bit limiting. Sure he has to pass tests (my son gets straight A's), but what ever he wants to learn about, I'll see about doing what I can to help him learn about it.

Be a mom at home. He has a teacher already up at the school.
Play with him..
Play games, build stuff with blocks and legos. , throw the ball roller blade, ride bikes..

Have him help you bake cookies, brownies.. Have him help you pour the detergent. Help separate the clothes.. She who can fold the fastest..

Do hopscotch with sidewalk chalk.. let him make the grid and write the numbers..

Do puzzles, then flip them over and do them with no picture showing.. Combine 2 puzzles at the same time.

pick up a bunch of boxes and have him make a maze you crawl through.. Do this at night and climb through with a flashlight.. Build a tower out of huge boxes..

Play video games with him..

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He's only 5. Stop trying to teach him and just play with him. Seriously all learning should be self-directed, especially at this age.

If you feel compelled to work with him, figure out fun ways to work on the material you are interested in him knowing. Make it important to him by tapping into his own self-interest. If you are a teacher, you had to have learned about Dewey at some point. He was right, all learning starts and ends in the pupils self-interest. So tap it and then guide it.

What does he like... do anything that is related to what he likes and have fun by getting books on it at the library, going to places that expand on that topic/likeness. Some kids are not bigger on learning, or it may be that he learns a different way and is frustrated with it but it comes out as laziness and fussiness. Try to find fun and different ways to review; counting use M&M's, words review with fun pictures, books that he can help read that he will enjoy, museums, zoo... use any chance as a review and at least with my daughter it has become second nature to "learn/review" something through everyday things.

You've gotten lots of good answers. Actually, I was a pre-k drop out myself. When I was little, you had to pay for your kids to go to kindergarten, as well as pre-k. I went to a private pre-k and my brother went to the kindergarten. (this was back in the '50's) After that year at 4, I told my mom I didn't want to go to Kindergarten. So she let me stay home the year I was 5. I learned to read listening to my older brother read, did great all through school and graduated top of my class. Unless he has to go to Pre-K while you work, I'd take him out, or just send him 2 days a week. He has the next 17 years to go to school. More if he goes to grad school. Let him be a kid, and play for one last year. He may even ask to go back to preschool after being at home awhile.

I am having this same issue with my 6yo. He hates school and rarely want to do his work. His brothers love school and learning so this is a departure for me! My hubs and I also love learning and books.

The best thing you can do is give him some time. He may just not be mature enough to focus on what he needs to for school work. Also, try to make it fun and not to get mad over his no cooperating. Give him a "carrot". Something fun to do when his work is done. My 6 yo can have a piece of gum when all his homework is done. Something simple like that. He has to see the reward. I know some people are against that kind of reward, but this works for us.

He also likes reading time with Daddy at night. THis is not something we like to take away as punishment, but when he flat out refuses to do his school work, Daddy doesn't read to him that night.

Good Luck!

I'm a big proponent of learning through play in the early years. All 3 of my children went to a Learning Through Play based preschool. None of them were reading when they came out of it, but my oldest 2 learned to read quickly in Kinder (my youngest just started Kinder so we'll see how she does) and still love school today. They are in the 6th and 8th grades now. They had creative skills in elementary school that most of the other children seemed to lack, and I think we owe it all to the wonderful learning environment they had in preschool. They were encouraged to create their own art through whatever assorted jumble of materials was available, rather than following step-by-step instructions that resulted in all the children creating the same thing. Even though they were having fun and playing all day long, they came out of preschool knowing all their letters and numbers, able to write most of them, knowing most of the sounds the letters make, and counting as high as we would let them. They could also add and subtract objects and really, just knew way more than the actual public school requirement for starting kinder. And yet, when they talked about preschool, they were nostalgic and wished they could go back because they were allowed to 'do whatever they wanted' in preschool. Obviously that wasn't the case, but the environment made them feel that way. In first grade I would try to sit down and read with my oldest at home at night and she resisted. Finally she said "But I work so hard at school all day!" When I told her teacher she said, "Well, that's true...if she's too tired to work at hom, that's okay, because she DOES work very hard at school all day!" So I stopped pushing and she was absolutely fine. She is an A/B honor roll student in the 8th grade at a highly demanding school, and she is a voracious reader. I guess my point is to let your little boy be a kid for awhile longer and try not to worry. If he's in a good preschool he is going to learn what he needs to learn for kinder, and he really DOES need play time in order for his brain to make all those important neural connections. Good luck--just relax and enjoy him!

I would suggest that you send him to school ready to learn (well rested, well fed, as calm a home environment as you can reasonably manage), and then let the teachers do the rest. He does not have homework yet (at least I hope not in Pre-K!), so when he gets home, have fun with him! He's at an age when he needs to run, jump, climb the walls (okay, maybe not!), and be a kid. I would rebel if I came home from work and had to do flashcards, wouldn't you?

I have taken a mostly hands-off approach with my kids' education. That's NOT to say I'm not involved - I'm talking to the teachers every day, making sure homework is getting done (my kids are in 1st and 3rd grades), but I figured that what happens once my kids walk through the classroom door in the morning until they walk back out in the afternoon, is up to their teachers. I can't micromanage that process. The teacher needs to build up a rapport with my child and she needs to find a way to reach my child using her own strengths as a teacher. If I jump into the middle of it, it's going to undermine her as a teacher. So far this strategy has worked for us.

So I'd recommend just backing off. Be his mom, not his teacher. Find fun things to do together - all kinds of experiences can be educational. He will find the motivation within himself once he's not under pressure to perform. You are a good, concerned mom, wanting him to do his best! Don't worry, it will happen!

My oldest was like that. As far as school went, it only got better when he went to high school. It turned out he has ADHD, his mind is going too fast for him to pay attention and this presented itself as laziness, inability to focus or organize, and hating school. The one thing that did work was trying to "catch" him interested in something, and then encouraging it as much as we could, even if he didn't stick with it for long. Doing this kept his self esteem in tact. Be it basketball or science, we encouraged every fleeting interest and it is now paying off, as he still tries as hard as he can to do as well as he can. This year (he's a sophomore) we are trying adderal to see if that helps, we've tried it experimentally in the past and it did, but this will be his first full school year on it.

I am NOT suggesting you medicate him, I only mention that because we finally had to resort to something as he has failed two classes so far, due to being simply disinterested (and therefore distracted) in the subjects, though he gets As in everything else. He went to Montessori for 7 years, a private school for a year, and is now in public school. So I know it wasn't a matter of him not being in the right environment. What I AM suggesting is a totally positive approach, rather than you feeling frustrated all the time. Good luck.

You have to figure out what he does like and what he is interested, and then tailor the "teaching" to fit those interests. Make it fun. The fact that you are a teacher might intimidate him and might make at-home learning feel too much like school during a time when he thinks he should be playing and having fun.

I sell Discovery Toys and we have a lot of great products that teach but allow kids to have fun at the same time. I'm not sure what sort of skills you're hoping to work on, but here are a few suggestions that your son might enjoy:

Word Match:http://www.discoverytoyslink.com/esuite/control/product?P...

Busy Bugs: http://www.discoverytoyslink.com/esuite/control/product?P...

Big Hungry Bear Collection (available as a set or individual items): http://www.discoverytoyslink.com/esuite/control/product?P...

There are lots of other fun and educational products on my site. I hope you can find something that your will enjoy!

K.
http://www.discoverytoyslink.com/karenchao - Labor Day Sale thru 9/7. New fall toys now available!
Letter Lotto: http://www.discoverytoyslink.com/esuite/control/product?P...

when my mom tried reviewing with me she was so bitchy and controlling about the whole thing i HATED IT!!! i never was much into school because i didnt have to be. is there a older kid (relative or neighborhood kid) that can help him? can you take him to the store and apply the learning skills??

My oldest did this and honestly I think the acting like they don't know the material is an attention act. He went for his kindergarten screening and scored incredibly high and he also all through kindergarten would tell us he didn't know how to read a parent/teacher conference rolled around and his teacher told us he was reading at a second grade level! In kindergarten and first grade he had awesome teachers that let him do work that was on his level and not what the others in class were doing so he wasn't bored. My son like yours was older bc of the cut off date for K and I think his entire problem in preschool was he was bored our of his mind. We had this problem again last year in second grade. His teacher did not separate the class into groups so he was stuck doing second grade reading while he tested at a 6th grade level and was stuck doing 2nd grade math while testing at a 4th grade level. He had a lot of behavior problems last year in class because he was so bored. The fact that your son doesn't like going, is "lazy" and doesn't want to review at home makes me think the same thing about your son he is just bored.

He is 5yrs old and a boy. Play with him. If all he does is sit in a classroom and listen to a teacher talk talk talk all day about words and numbers, that's the last thing he wants to do when he gets home. You can teach him thru play without letting him know that you're even teaching him. A lesson in nature would be a competitive game of who can find the most leaves, bugs, butterflies, whatever. Then teach him science in why bugs do what they do, why the leaves turn colors, etc. A lesson in numbers would be a game in "let's count how many times we throw a ball in the clothes basket) Roll up paper for that matter and throw them, then have him count how many there are. A lesson in writinig would be to draw his favorite character and write what his name is. Write a short sentence or story, and have him write over what he sees. I am sure there are many other ways to make learning fun at his age. He has plenty more years in school to have structured learning. The focus should be on discipline and making sure it's consistent enough for him to want to do it. So if everyday at the same time you play the same game and change up the theme, then he would look forward to learning, because he thinks its game time. Good luck.

If you aren't familiar with it, you might want to check out the educational resources at www.heartmath.org. They are all described in the online store. As a teacher you might find these to be highly valuable resources you might well want to consider incorporating in your class. - On the website you'll also find research findings etc for education.

If you want to know more, please don't hesitate to contact me and I'll be glad to share.