Mother Passed Away

Why? You don't say why. Because she is going to die? Everyone is going to die. It's life. Doesn't mean we have to like it, but it's true. I don't know how old you are, but I've got grand-kids and I can tell you, when people die, the ones who are left behind don't say "Wow, I shouldn't have spent so much time with them." What they do say is "I wished I had spent more time with them." Loving someone isn't easy, but it's what make us human and what makes us the people that we are. My Mother died when I was 32, I've missed her so much, but I cherish the time I had with her. I wish she could have been there to talk to,but it wasn't meant to be. I believe in dreams, but they don't always come true. And being with her soon, can mean other things. Maybe that was your Moms way of saying she was watching over her. Don't stop your life because someone you love might die, you will wither up and die yourself. The saying it is better to have love and lost than to never have loved at all is very true. Loving is something that this world needs so much more of right now. And yes, broken hearts hurt, but the joy and the fun that you have, the memories, that's what carries us on and makes us strong. Be close to your sister and let her know how much you love her and what she means to you and your life. I never had a brother or a sister, so I feel that you are blessed. Good Luck and you might want to get some help, talk to a minister, a counselor, or someone who you trust to help you with this. I'm sure you have much love to give and much love to receive, don't limit your growth. Take care!

D. I am sorry you are feeling this way. You will feel much better if you release these feelings. I know it is real easy for me to type this into a my keyboard than for it to really take place. Everyone deals with feelings differently and it hard to understand why others feel the way they do, but they do. I took it really hard when my Dad died and then Grandmother. I wouldn't let go for a long time and didn't understand everyone else's need to never look back and say they didn't remember things. It is just two different ways of dealing with it. I finally had to realize they are not me and I couldn't expect that. I have had many dreams of my grandmother, which is great to me, but weird to others. To me, I feel like I get to visit with her because I miss her so much. Everyone else, can't understand the soothing feeling I get from this. I am sure your sister misses your mother much and she has her in her dreams just as well. We all have to realize, if one thing is true in life, we are given a birth date and with that we all must die too.

I am sure you would really enjoy the comfort of your sister again. Let it go and enjoy her while she is here.

So you can't have a close relationship because you feel that she is going to die soon and you will have to deal with the loss of another loved one. Your answer to this is to distance yourself from everyone that you love in hopes that it will hurt less when God calls them home. Please seek counseling so that you can get past this hurt. My mother died when I was 23, then my grandmother, grandfather, father and a close friend of the family. All within 5 years. I know it hurts like HELL but think how you would feel when those that you love do pass away and you haven't told them that you love them, you haven't shown them that you love them because you are trying to spare yourself the pain of loosing them. It will still hurt and then you will feel guilty because you weren't there for them. Death can't be avoided it is a fact of life. Seek counseling but more importantly seek God. God can help you deal with this if you allow him to minister to you.

In order for this dream of your sisters to have merit, you must believe that your mother REALLY did come to your sister and tell her that. I don't want to dismiss this as a reality, but dreams are just that. Dreams. They are not real and if they really did predict the future, there would be a lot more lottery winners, rock stars and I personally would be living in Cancun in a size 4 body (one of my best and most realistic dreams). It sounds like your sister is trying to deal with the loss of your mother in her own way. And anyway even if this was true and your sister was to go with your mom, you would have the most awful pain of not only losing your sister but of not spending time with her when you could. Life is so short that we cannot spend time wondering "What If", but need to spend time making every minute count and that includes spending as much time with your sister as possible. She needs you as much as you need her. Let go of your fears and embrace her with love. Sometimes the most courageous acts that man can perform is just facing our fears and dealing with them. God Bless you.

I have lost my mother about 1 1/2 year now. We are ten children who were taught to love and share with each other. Since my mom died the bond grew closer, which I would consider lucky for us. My husband on the other hand lost his father suddenly approximately 4 months ago, they too were a close knitted family until his father died. His only sister out of greed and selfishness preferred to break that tie. It really hurts, because their mother is almost bedridden and is living with the sister who is creating havoc. Visits to their mother is limited awkward and unpleasant. Some people have different ways of reacting to things. Some people value possessions, material things and personal feelings more that people or relationship. Some believe that only their parents can hold a family tie. Get help for both of you. Work on your family ties, its important.

Hi D. I know the passing of your mother can be hard. I lost mine about two years ago. I would suggest that you and your sister seek counseling. I don't know what your religion is but my faith teaches me that one day I will see my mother again. And remember her spirit will always be with both of you. She'll be your guardian angel.

I am sorry for your loss. W only get one mom. You sound as if you are still grieving deeply and afraid of loosing those who could be close to you. I am sure that your sister is grieving also. Maybe the two of you or you could do a project like a picture book about your mom. Maybe you could write down what you miss saying to her and what she means to you and also look for those dear qualities inside of yourself. Please don't go it alone. Our friends and family can be the balance that helps things to get okay. Give them a chance too as well as yourself. God Bless!

My mother passed away last April at the age of 80, and was a diabetic her entire life. She was a very strong person, and I could not survive with it for so long. I had many disagrements with my mom over the years, and to me she was simply very stubborned. I had to place her in a Nursing Home, and she had a heart attack six months later. I could not keep her home, and had no support. She needed total care, and assistance 24/7. She would probably live a few more years at home, but I could not afford to hire a nurse to help me with her care. I begin to realize after her death that she had dementia, and maybe early stage of Alzheimer. I also found out that being a diabetic affects your mood, and memory. I thought she was simply acting up, and did not understand her illnesses. I am a pretty intelligent person, and read about everything. I missed my own mom's conditions, and I am feeling extremely guilty. I advise to others to do research on elderly family members who are sick, because their behavior might not be their faults. My mother would go crazy when she needed to eat, but would not say "I am hungry". She will instead gets very angry, and start talking about unrelated issues. She did a lot of strange, and bizarre stuff over the years. They were all related to her illnesses, and I encourage other to be more patient with others. They die fast, and you will miss the opportunity to please them. I was really frustrated with my mom, because she was incontinent. She had colon surgery, and could not help it. I miss her so much, and wish she was here with me. I also lost my dad five years ago, and I think about them all the time. I wish that I was a better daughter, and was a difficult teenager. I gave my parents a very hard time over the years, and wish that I could take it all back. They were wonderful parents, and sacrificed their lives for me. I understand it as I got older, but it is now too late. I visited my mom at the nursing home every single day, and brought her food. She did not like the food at the nursing home, and I also did her laundry at home. I will bring clothes for her for the next day, and pick up the dirty ones. I would braid her hair, and put nail polish on her nails. My mom loves to be clean, and put on nice clothes. She was always concern about her appearance, so I made sure she looks good for therapy and the dining room. I visited her on a Wednsday night, and the next morning she was gone. She did not want to get in bed while she was dying, because she did not want to mess up her hair. She had to go for physical therapy later on, and had just finished up her breakfast. She was in the hospital a week before her death, and the doctor said that her heart was ok despite chest pains. She beg the nurse not to let her die, because she was concern about me and my kids. The medical staff administered CPR, but she died anyway. I was told if she had survived the heart attack she would been a vegetable for the rest of her life. You need to love, and tolerate your family or friends. They can be here today, and gone the next. God Bless.

"Soon" is so vague and shouldn't matter. Is it one month? One year? One decade? Who knows, so why fear. If your sister died tomorrow (go forbid) but never told you about the dream, would you have been bothered by the last few weeks of happiness you had with her, or would you only focus on the fact she was gone? You now have the last few weeks, months and even years to enjoy life together -- and that's regardless of her dream. You simply don't know when anyone close to you will be gone.
You really need to talk to someone you trust who ISN'T going to give you advice but will just listen. I did, and it helped tremendously. Just talking myself through the loss of my father helped me realize that I really only had two choices: live in fear of losing someone again, or live to enjoy everyone while they are here (and while I'm here). While my pain was great, time healed it -- along with my desire to improve my outlook.
Indeed, it wasn't my father's death that was the problem, but rather my view of it. My own suffering caused others to suffer, and that wasn't what I wanted. I said I couldn't help it, but that was an excuse for me to keep suffering.
I realized I only had a limited number of days on this planet, and that to waste any of them fearing life would be to waste my life. How sad it would be if your sister lived years longer than you, but didn't know you now because of your fear.
So talk it out. Talk yourself through all the circles. And always hope for better.

I have heard that you don't really feel like an adult until you lose your mother. You are probably terrified of losing more people close to yu so you are pushing them away....have you considered talking to a counselor? It might really help you. Sorry about your mom. Best of luck to you.

Is your sister well? Usually these kind of dreams are preminitions. Instead of being jeaulous of your sister you should embrass her she may be sick and not realize it. God Bless you!

I am so sorry for the loss you are feeling. I lost a son seven years ago. Time has flown by. He is always in my heart everyday. I miss him and think of him often but I know he is in heaven where he will not be touched by the evil in this world. He will never have fears like the one you are having now. I've had many of them as well. I just wanted to tell you that I believe dreams always have a different meaning than what is actually being dreamed of. You must make an effort to love and enjoy life. That means you should make an effort diliberatly to love those that you have been blessed to have in your life now. Unfortunately, things happen and we must appreciate the time we have been given with those that have passed away, but you cannot let their passing away have an effect in your life that you live your life now as if your dead too. I hope that makes sense. You can actually be alive and be dead in the inside. It is so important to love & be loved, it adds years to us. I hope you will be able to move on & allow your relationship with your sister to be an important part of your life. Be blessed!

take out for your self to think how your mother would want you to go on with your life. and to always think positive. don' t believe because i have been there done that and people will say anything too hurt you. please believe that your mother loved you with all of her being. so keep your head up and keep praying. remember prayers help.

I lost my dad almost 10 years ago. My sister is the one that found my dad in his bed my mom was out of town on business when this happened he had diabetes so we knew he was sick but she has never talked about it and it really did bring us closer together. We both dealt with it in two totally different ways. I don't think she told you this to hurt you this might be her way of dealing with your mother being gone. I know how much it hurts to lose someone but please don't push your loved ones away you need to enjoy the time you have together cause you really don't know what could happen and you don't want the guilt once they are gone. God bless and I hope you find comfort when dealing with your loss.