Would this bother you or am I just uptight? My sister and I went out and she brought along a guy friend. I payed our cover and tipped, she bought our drinks, he sat there drinking. The only time he opened his wallet was to purchase bar merchandise for himself. He bought 2 $8 frisbee golf discs. We were all looking at the merchandise and she said she really liked the t-shirt. Yet what he bought was for himself! I wasn't sure about that one. Then he suggested we go to the comedy club. I didnt want to go because that's really expensive. I was just fine with the live music and didnt need to spend $15 and a 2 drink minimum. But, hey I dont want to make waves, so I didnt say anything. We get there and she pulls out her card to pay for him. My sister is a single mom. She cant afford that. At this point I was pretty irritated with the guy and asked her in the bathroom, hey why are you paying? She said she asked him out. He said he didnt have any money, so she told him "come on just go with me, I've got it." So, she offered to pay. That's her deal. But honestly, he was suggeting the most expensive places and drinking the most expensive drinks when she was just drinking beer. And he had enough money to buy himself a momento. If someone offers to take me out when I'm broke, I at least buy 1 round or do all the tipping. I didn't say a word, but now I really dont like this guy. This is obviously none of my business and I have no intention of saying a word, but if it were you, what would you think? Maybe I'm being sexist. Would it be differant if the situationwere reversed? If a guy offers to pay is it ok to run up a high bill and just keep your money in your purse until it comes to buying yourself something?
I'm going to go back to the Flying Saucer and buy her the cool tshirt and bring her a nice bottle of wine. She deserves to be treated every now and then too.
Mooch, If I am broke and someone tells me, friend or mate, just come I'll get it. I never suggest going anywhere, and I do not drink anything but water or Pop (soda) I insist on being a cheap date to whoever is springing for me.
I find it beyond rude to say broke and buy anything that is a must (ya know water, food, or medication)
Mooch. The girl paying is okay but anyone, regardless of gender, should be a little more sensitive. Just because someone else is paying for your dinner doesn't mean you should always order caviar and champagne.
Mooch. I hope your sister dumps him.
I understand that whomever does the asking usually pays but I know several men who have been asked on a date and accepted and would never let the girl pay. That said, when we invite someone on business we fully expect to pay the entire bill.
You were both paying and he offered nothing except to go to a more expensive venue.
Reminds me of a client we invited to dinner as a "thank you" for business. It's not like he put a million bucks in our pocket... just decent customer. Yes, we fully expected to pay a tab upwards of $500 because we were at Del Frisco's (Love the Place). Yes, we can expense the dinner for 1/3 per tax purposes because it is a business dinner.
What did this guy do....?? He acted like he was the host to the server, took the wine list, ordered out of season lobster appetizers for everyone (without asking what we wanted). Ordered a great bottle of wine and asked for it to be decanted (just a showey thing I don't like). We don't eat desserts but we always offer... this guy got dessert and after dinner drinks. Our tab was on the upper end of $800 for that dinner for 3. Mind you, I have no problem doing this for a good customer every now and then and we expect to foot a heavy bill. We entertain a LOT for business. This was the most non-fun dinner we ever had. This guy was all into himself and his greatness. He was NEVER EVER invited by us again. We still do business with him... I jsut send a thank you holiday card now.
Your sister is not this desperate.... remind her of that.
No, that is totally wrong. He was a jerk. If he can afford to buy himself "toys," then he could pay for himself (and not suggest going to the comedy club!). He's def. a mooch.
If your sister mentions it again, remind her that he said he didn't have $ to go out, and that he let her pay (estimate the amount she spent on him), but that even after "not having money" he was still able to buy himself some toys.... And if he'll buy toys for himself, and let her pay for everything else, what kind of guy is that? Pretty soon, he'll be expecting that kind of treatment 24/7 and she and her child will suffer for it.
I don't think you need us to tell you what you already know. This guy is a loser. You should do what you can to steer your sis away from him.
And WTH-he buys 2 frisbees at a bar??? IDK but that right there would be my dealbreaker.
Sounds like a mooch to me. The least he could have done was buy you two gals a drink.
I hope he really is a "friend" and not a love interest.
yeah ive known guys like that., LOSER. Big red flag. Shes a single mom and hes getting treated?, no way!
Mooch! Invited non paying guest don't suggest you leave one paid club to go to another.
No, it is not typical to buy something for your self on a "date" and not pick up any of the tab. When I go by the who asks buys rule for me that does include tip but I also would not bring someone along with me in the example you described.
Immature mooch.
Probably still lives with his mommy, or at least takes his laundry home for her to do :) (unless he brings it to your sister's)
OK, she got her night out, which may have been a pretty big deal WORTH paying, as you said she's a single mom, but if he doesn't REALLY step up to the plate, she should have nothing to do with him.
Many "men" will let you buy them the moon but I have learned to have a standard and maintain it. When I was dating, I made a general rule to not treat or pick up the check. I'm married to a generous man that takes care of everything. When we were dating I was always respectful of not being a drain on his finances and even treated him once or twice but each time he insisted on paying for some part of the outting from tip to taxi fare in NYC.
Your sister may want to raise her standards and I wouldn't like this man either.
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Mooch! Drop him now. Tell your sister - she can do better.
When guys asked me out (and picked the place) I ordered a mid to low price entree and only got a drink if he did. I picked the house wine or something else low priced on the menu. If I picked the place, I always picked someplace affordable - and I was going out on dates with guys who made great money (tons more than me) and had no children.
There is no excuse for a guy (or a girl) to order expensive drinks when a single mom is paying for them.
And buying TWO frisbee golf disks? What a cheeseball loser.
Mooch ! M R said it perfectly below.
B.
