Moms with Twins

my twins are now 14 months old. They are my first children. The key with twins is scheduling, and having them on the same schedule. You'll be fine.. for me the hardest part was my pregnancy, I was so terrified the whole time of losing one..

Hi J.,

You should consider joining Manhattan Mothers of Twins Club, www.manhattantwinsclub.com. They are a wonderful group - very supportive with lots of information, tips, equipment exchanges, etc.

The woman who runs the largest moms group in NYC has twins and is also a member.

Good luck, H.

A little about me: I'm the mother of two grown and married children and the Marketing Director of HAPPYBABY.

YEAH!!! I am a mother of a 3 yr old boy and 4 month twin boys. I am finding the hardest part about twins is the lack of sleep. I try nap when they do. And don't say no to anyone, if they offer help..TAKE IT!!! Even if it means a shower. I have a lady come in once a week to do the floors and bathroom...pretty cheap if she isn't cleaning the whole house.
My 3 yr old can make things challenging, because he wants me to play with him..lucky for you your 2 children probably already keep them selves amused with each other.
Start buying diapers now!!!! Twins go threw 600 diapers a month on average.
Good luck! God wont give you what you cant handel!

Hi J.,

Congrats! Finding out that you are having twins can be exciting and overwhelming! I'm 36 weeks along with identical twin girls. The best advice I have to offer is to take it day by day and week by week. Make sure you have a good doctor and get plenty of rest. Carrying twins is hard work but if you look after yourself, eat well and take it slowly, then you will be fine. It was challenging for me. I had morning sickness for 5.5 months and I'm having a hard time carrying the weight but I made a decision to listen to my body and stay relatively low key during the pregnancy, which helped me a lot. Please feel free to write with any specific questions.

Take good care and congrats again!

Hi J. - I have 25 year old twins and lived to tell about it! They are my only children so I don't have too much advice for you. I just wanted to mention a few things. First, you have already had two pregnancies which is a good thing. It's hard to carry twins to term when it's your first pregnancy. My kids came 10 weeks early - thankfully there were no long term problems. Another thing is that when your two older children are off to school, the twins will keep each other company. You won't always have to search out other children for them to play with. Also, you'll already have some clothes and equipment that you can re-use. One suggestion I have is to search out a local Twin Mothers Club or Mothers of Multiples. I joined a club when my children were young and it was really nice to meet other mothers. I hope you can find one in your area. It's also a great way to buy and sell used clothing, etc. One more thing - your twins will attract a lot of attention. Try to gently remind people how wonderful their older siblings are, so they don't feel over shadowed.

I hope all goes well for you.

G.

Hi J.:

Congratulations on the twins. Your post is very familiar to me. I happily had 2 children and was past the diaper days when I found out I was pg. Then WHAM, found out it was twins.

It has been a struggle in many ways including financial, but the joy far exceeds the stress, on most days LOL.

Best advise is to go into this knowing you will need all the help that is offered. Not just to help with the older kids, but to take on the twins too. Your older ones will need some Mommy time too.

Also, make sure you are taking extra good care of yourself, making twins is hard work and is different than carrying a singleton. I was lucky and went to 38 weeks (and 1 day), and worked until a few days before.

I found a great online support group (it was hard to squeeze in a real life twins group, online someone was around 24/7) at www.twinsmagazine.com . These ladies have been with me throughout my pregnancy and now into the trying 2’s.

My twins will be 2 in May, so hang in there you will survive.

Good Luck

Hi J.,

I have 5 months twin boys and when I found out I was having twins I cried for days. My husband and I were set on having one baby (financially!!. I remeber feeling like a horrible person because I wasn't happy about having twins, but mr dr. said it was totally normal to go through all the emotions I did. Now that they are here they are amazing, but I can't lie - ALOT of work. I was very depressed at the beginning but I think it was lack of sleep. I can't imagine myself having twins and other children, but so many people do. I think it may make it easier for you because you already know what to do (sleep patterns, feeding, etc). I knew nothing. My boys were so difficult because not only did God bless me with two, but two with reflux/colic.... very challenging!!! My pregnancy was very difficult I ended up in PTL at 20 weeks and had to stay at Columbia in NYC for a month and then very strict bedrest when I got home. So please do not overdo yourself and drink a lot of water.

Good Luck
Jenn

Congrats! With the addition of my twins I had 4 kids with the oldest being 5 yrs old. I actually cried for about a week because I was so stunned and overwhelmed at the whole thought of "How the hell am I going to manage this?" Everyone was thrilled for me but it took about a month before I got over the whole thing. If I did it you can too.

Take all offers of help especially with the older kids. My parents live close by so they were always popping over to lend a hand. One of my friend's hubby made a comment one night that it was great coming to visit because everyone gets to hold a baby. lol.

The only thing that was terrible was that I was up all day with the older kids and up all night with the babies. After a couple weeks it really took a toll. Night feedings were the worst so my hubby and I devised the designated baby plan. We each had a baby to take care of. When one woke up I wandered to the kitchen and made bottles for both. After that we each had to feed, burp, change, and get our designated baby back to sleep. Made is sooooo much easier to deal with.

Hi J.,
CONGRATULATIONS! You are about to be doubly blessed! I have 71/2 month old boy/girl twins. They are my only children (unless 2 crazy dogs and my husband count!) but they are THE greatest thing that has ever happened to me. THe joys of seeing two babies grow and develop side by side is amazing. Make sure you take care of yourself and be positive. You will hear so many people tell you stupid, negative twin stories, and you will hear so many times that you will have them early...NOT always the case. My twins were 37 weeks one day! I swear it was b/c I insisted they would be born full-term.
My advice is take all the help you can get. I didnt and now regret it b/c the offers have died down. I moved in with my mom for 2 months b/c I really needed her help. My husband started a new job and was never home. Make things easy for yourself. Buy diapers and wipes now it will help with the cost and you wont have to run out that often. After spending too many hours washing bottles we finally starthing using PLaytex drop-ins. They are a life-saver. Don't buy 2 of everything, only whats necessary (car seats, high chairs, cribs) You don't need 2 bouncy seats, walkers, activity centers... We also found Fisher Price space saving high chairs which are great. They strap right on to a regular chair and take up minimal space.
I know everyone says to keep them on the same schedule but this didnt work for me. My daughter starting sleeping through the night at 10 weeks and my son occasionally still wakes up. I am happy that I didnt wake them together b/c I did initially but she wouldnt want to eat and then she would be awake and cranky...so I left her alone! Take all the advice into consideration and do what works for you. I find a combined approach of suggestions worked for me. I wish you all the best. Just wait until they are here... you will realize how awesome they are. Hard work, but incredible!!!! Feel free to write if you have ANY questions. oh...one other thing. Take pics of your belly b/c it is sooo amazing to watch it grow-especially at the end!

Line up plenty of help right now, get things that you need to get done now, so that you don't feel pressure when they come. I joined a mom's group and they cooked a few days for me, so that we didn't have to worry about that. Cook meals now and freeze them, clean the house ect so that all that is done when they come. I did all this and it helped me, although Idon't have twins, being organized can only help. Get the other kids involved too. hope that helps, and good luck. Alison

Hi J., I am also a mother of twins. I had 3 kids before the twins. I didn't find out I was having twins until I was 28 weeks along. What a shock! My other kids were ages 11 years, 10 years and 13 months! Yes, I had a 13 month old at home when the twins were born. I didn't think I would be able to handle it either. Then I found out about a local Mother of Twins Club. What a great club! They had so many great ideas to make life easier for me and the kids. My twin girls (fraternal) are now 25 years old and have kids of their own. I made it! So can you! And it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. Please check the National Organization of Mothers Of Twins Club (NOMOTC) website to see if there is a club near you.

J.:
First of all congrats on the pregnancy. I too was shocked with twins my second time around. I had a 4 year old at the time and we decided to have one more surprise we had twins. All I can say is take a deep breath and wait for the craziest happiest are you kidding me moments. We have a boy and girl who are now 2 and I can't even imagine not having them both at the same time. Having twins is totally different than just having one. They look out for one another and share a special bond while both having very different personalities. Then there is the two of everything two cars seats, two cribs, two high chairs, two two two. On the other hand there is double the laughs, hugs and kisses. My advice as babies is have them on the same schedule otherwise you will spend your entire life feeding one or the other. I had them both sleep in the same crib for awhile they seemed to sleep better that way. Let me know if you need to chat Good Luck.
L.

Hi J., i gave birth to twins when my first son was 14 months old. it has been a challenge to say the least! i agree with one of the other responders, get them all on the same nap schedule and be vigilant. all 3 of my children share the same bedroom, so i have my own special challenges, but it can be done and kids are very flexible. it will be tough, but hang on. if you can hire help or have family nearby, use them! my twins were very colicky and i did not keep them on the same nap schedule for almost a year. i was up almost every hour from the time i went to bed until about 3am. i would then pass out from being so tired and my husband would get up every hour from that point on. good luck!

Twins are great - my twin sons are 9months old and I have a 3.5 year old as well. I would agree going from two to four is daunting (one to three is similar). Once you have had children twins are easier because you know what to do it is just having to do it twice. Twins are not anything different it is just takes alot of coordination. The best advice I received was getting them on a schedule as soon as possible - and my twins are very different (one is a great sleeper and one is not) but we make them do everything at the same time - otherwise you will be running all day. Good luck!

Congratulations!! I have twins who are 16 months and have to say it is the best experience ever! Granted, these are my only two and you will have alot more on your plate but you will see how special it is. Since you have experience already you will know what to do, what to expect. I felt that the first three months were the toughest because of the feeding schedule and lack of sleep for myself at night. If you could get some help in the beginning that would be great. Even if it is for just a few hours a day it will help you feel refreshed and ready for whatever is next. I don't know what the ages are of your other children but if they are school age you may need help in picking them up from school etc. I used the papson swing alot and when they were ready to eat cereal I didn't get the big high chairs, instead I got the ones you put on the chair and it adjusts. I used the playtex drop in bottle system so it was easier. (check out the recent news stories about plastic bottles) Imade sure they took good naps in the daytime because that seemed to help them sleep better at night at around three months. YOu will be fine. I know it is scary but once you are in the thick of things you will manage. Good Luck!!!!!!!

Hi J. D. I am pregnant with Twins as well, but this is my first pregnancy. The pregnancy was a surprise and so was the fact that it was two. My husband has a 12 year old daughter from a previous relationship. We are now going from one part time child to three. What has helped me is the overwhelming support of my husbands family, who is close by, and my family which is across the country. It helps to have family support. I wish you a happy healthy pregnancy!

Join the Greater Rochester Mother of Twins Club. You can google it. I am a member & the women are so knowledgable. There is a monthly meeting where you have group meetings to talk about issues whether it's pregnancy related or after they're born. Do a search for twin books on the library web site. I believe the name of the book I read was, "What to Expect When Pregnant With Twins" or something like that. I know you said you already have two kids, so reading is a luxury...believe me, I know. =) But, try to read as much as you can about multiples. It will be crazy at first, expecially if they come home at the same time. The first few months are hard...even with help. But, the craziness will subside & you'll have double the love....not double trouble. =) Best of luck!

~A.

Congrats! I agree with everyone else, scheduling is the key! I have almost 7 year old identical boys and they were my first (I also have a 5 year old boy). They were born 13 weeks prematurely and were in the hospital for 6 weeks, so I had a bit of time to "adjust" after they were born before they came home. But when they came home from the hospital, it was like jumping from the frying pan into the fire! The NICU had (thankfully!) had them on feeding schedules that were 30 minutes apart so that, by the time I was done feeding one, it was time to feed the other. I never had to feed them at the same time, at least not until they got older and didn't stick to the schedule anymore, lol.

NEVER turn down help. EVER. That was the hardest thing for me to do. I am so independent that it took me quite a while (too long) to finally let go and accept the help.

Here's another tip for you. As you go throughout the rest of your pregnancy, start cooking extra meals. Not necessarily a separate one, but perhaps double the recipe you were already planning on making. Then, freeze it. It's not really too much extra work since you're already making that meal anyway, and it will be a Godsend when the babies come! You can grab something from the freezer and heat it up.

Stock up on things you know you'll need now; diapers, wipes, bottles, formula, baby food, etc. Buying it a little at a time now won't hurt so bad when they get here and you have to buy it all at once.

The thing that I found with my twins was that they kept themselves entertained a lot as they got bigger. Of course, then I had to worry that they were plotting some trouble together, lol.

Enlist your older kids to help, if possible. Even if they are young, give them some small task(s) to do, like putting their laundry away or whatever it might be.

Dear J., "Sweet is the Providence that overlules us." (Saint Elisabeth Ann Seton). Keep your faith in the Holy One, Our Creator, who gave you and to your family the gift of the Twins. I am praying for you and your family. Who gave you the gift will give the graces to enjoy and know how to take care of the gift.
Maristella

Congratulations! I have twin boys who turned 3 in October. It was a shock to me when I found out but one great thing about having twins the first time around is that I didn't know what I was in for anyway not having been through the parenting process. On the other hand, with two children already, you are a pro. You know what works for you, what doesn't, what your weaknesses and strengths you have. You probably saw differences in your children and adapted things from your first to second child. Just think how helpful the experiences from your first two children will help you now. The key for you while your pregnant is stay healthy and rest when your body tells you too (at least whenever possible). The key for when they come home....organization. Keep those two beautiful kids on the same schedule. It will be your sanity saver. Try to simplify your life in anyway possible. You will be exhausted in the beginning, but I don't think it will be that different from one baby if they eat and sleep at the same time. Mine were on the same schedule the whole time and I didn't even have to force it....it sort of happened on its own. When they are older they will have each other to entertain themselves and that will give you a little more freedom. The bond they will have is amazing. You are in for a treat with the twins! Best of luck