Mom Needing Some "Me" Time!!

Updated on June 27, 2007
J.L. asks from New Smyrna Beach, FL
14 answers

I work part time, so Im home a lot with my ds (17 months). We have routines for breakfast, lunch and evening, but when it comes to free time, we dont really have a routine. Sometimes we go to the beach, the park, a bike ride, color or play in the yard, but lately Im really needing some time to get some household work done and he will not let me alone for two minutes. I hate to stick him in the playpen because he naps there and I dont want him to see it as a negative place, but I dont know what else to do with him. Just as an example - I tried to vaccum yesterday and he turned the vaccum off, then he went to the cord and unplugged it, then he kept standing in front of it. Finally, I just put it away, because I wasnt going to get it done unless I held him while vaccuming. He displays the same types of behaviors when I try to get something done in the kitchen or elsewhere.

I have tried to give him his own toys and get him all settled in an area to play in while I "slip away" but he runs right over to me within 5 minutes. He will not sit and watch any DVD's, I guess Im just looking for some suggestions to help!

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A.G.

answers from Orlando on

You can also try to involve him in what you are doing. Let him help you push the vaccum or I used to chase the kids around the room with the vaccum. If you are washing dishes let him wash off the soap, put away his plates, etc.

Find a job for him to do, he might not be able to do it great yet, but if you start from little then you'll have a helper in the making!

Good luck!
A.

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L.B.

answers from Miami on

Good suggestions so far; also if you don't mind a little water, you can fill a squirt bottle and have him 'clean' the fridge or the cabinets with a cloth or paper towels while you are cleaning.
Put your plasticware in a cabinet and let him pull them out and put them back in.
Put him in the highchair and set him up with a few different sized plastic containers with lids that he can put things in and out of (larger objects that aren't choking hazards)matchbox cars, clothespins, duplo blocks, etc Give him an empty papertowel tube and show him how to slide a small car or ball down it.
If he won't stay in his highchair, set him up near you.
Spend a few minutes with him getting him set up to do something on his own, and then tell him that you need to do some work. You can try using a kitchen timer with him; show him how the timer works and tell him that when the timer rings he can come and get you. Start with 5 minutes (yeah, not alot of time, but remember that his attention span at 17 months is not much longer than that) If he comes to get you sooner just take him by the hand and walk him back over to where his 'activity' is. Don't pick him up or play with him until the timer rings.
Make a 'fort' out of a sheet and your kitchen table chairs and let him play under it; give him a small flashlight to take with him.
Make a 'clothesline' in the house(tie a rope to 2 chairs) and have him hang out the laundry using wood clothespins. Washcloths, socks, his underpants, etc
Good luck! Once his attention span increases a bit it will get easier. The best way to increase his attention span is to have him entertain himself...(easier said than done, I know!)
Keep working at it; you've got lots of good suggestions to get you started!

2 moms found this helpful
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M.H.

answers from Daytona Beach on

This is going to sound completely opposite from the other responses, but have you tried putting your foot down about this? This is not just about him wanting to be the sole object of your attention, but about him controlling the environment. Mom makes the rules, mom says leave the vacuum cord alone, you need to follow through. I have limted time because I work full time nights to get things done and none of my kids continued to pull that stuff once they knew it wouldn't work. They can be needy since I am gone some of the time, and while I know they want the attention, they also have to know that some things just need to get done. They won't have clothes to wear if you can't do laundry, they won't have dishes to eat off of if you can't get to the sink. If he has to cry a little, he has to cry. That's just the way I approached it. Think about it too if you are going to have another child...would you want him crawling in your lap trying to push the baby out of the way? Even at 17-18 months (which mine was born 10/05) they know what they are doing.

2 moms found this helpful
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N.G.

answers from Orlando on

My daughter always wanted to 'help' me when I clean. What I found worked was to buy her her very own set of cleaning products... pretend vaccuum, lil broom and dust pan, mini lil hand duster, a bucket with a sponge... she LOVED it. I got that for her two Christmas' ago (she's now 4) and she STILL breaks out the vaccuum and broom when I'm cleaning. I ask her to do the hallway while I do the living room, and so on. When I windex the tables, she sprays it for me or she gets her sponge and wipes up with me (I have to wipe after he of course but still). Hope that helps with the cleaning part! I still havent figured out how to go to the bathroom in piece! If you get that figured out, lemme know!! ~ N. ~

1 mom found this helpful
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K.F.

answers from Tampa on

Hi J.,

I am a stay at home mom & looking for something, ANYTHING to get me out of the hosue during the day! My daughter goes to school & my boyfriend works nights. There is only so much shopping & cleaning you can do before you go crazy!!! My daughter is on the shcool bus at 7am & doesn't get hoem til 6pm. My boyfriend needs some personal down time like we all do. I moved to Orlando last year & I don't know anyone. I would love to have another baby but we are ready for that yet. If you need some down time, it owuld be my pleasure to take him to the park or occupie him in his room while you are busy doing your own thing!

Hope to hear form you

Thank you,

K.

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L.H.

answers from Miami on

magnets to play with on the fridge? ones that you only take out when you realy need them so they're 'special?

also babywearing :-)

with a carrier like this you can put him on your back:
www.kozycarrier.com
this is just one brand of this type- there are many many more brands...
www.babyhawk.com
is another one :-)

~L.

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S.R.

answers from Burlington on

Have you tried giving him an activity in his high chair? Maybe if you have special toys that he only plays with at that time (something he really likes). My daughter is 15 months old and has just started getting into coloring (scribbling) I tape a piece of paper to her high chair tray and let her go at it. The only thing with that is that I have to watch for occasional crayon munching. Good Luck!

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I.Y.

answers from Gainesville on

You can try using a baby wrap and having him on your back while you are doing chores. You can buy fabric at Walmart. The wrap is about 5 yards long. They show you how to baby wrap here.

Or you can try putting him in his highchair.

http://www.mamatoto.org/
www.wearyourbaby.com

Hope you find some me time.

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C.R.

answers from Orlando on

Have baby gate will lock it!!!! seriously a child will not look at a playroom as a negative spot! there are too many fun things there! Just piut him into the playrom and lock it with the baby gate, he is outta your hair and has lots of toys to occupy him, after the foirst time you doi this whith him screaming in the doorway he will figure out that you are not coming to his beck and call! he is getting too old for that kind of behavior anyway! I started this at age 14 months and it has worked like a charm I no longer nee the baby gate! I have a time at 3:30 until 4:30 all to myself to do chores or take a bath or whatever I want an he just keeps himself entertained in the play room!!! Good luck--C.

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A.S.

answers from Orlando on

Two words: HIGH CHAIR

I do the tasks that I have to have him out of the way while he's eating.

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S.S.

answers from Lakeland on

Give him kid versions of what you are doing. If you are vacuuming give him his own vacuum. They have some great ones at walmart. My daughter just runs and hides when I Get out the vacuum. As far as the kitchen, give him something to do. When my daughter was this age she had her special cabnet that had nothing but canned goods in it and while I was working in the kitchen she would pull the cans out and stack them. By the time I was done she was starting to get bored of it so we would put them away. He is just at that stage where he wants to HELP you with everything. It can be a little anoying but it shows that he has interest in what you are doing and he is learning how you do things. And he WANTS to be close to you. It is funny cause the next time you turn around he will be the total opposite and not want to be next to you. And that is right around the corner.

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J.C.

answers from Daytona Beach on

Oh I understand, mine was and is still like this. She's 2 1/2. I've just learned that I have to ignore the cries when I need to do my chores. I do make sure she's safe, busy, and happy. I've just reinterated, mom has to cook, clean, whatever else I am doing. It works gradually in your favor, by being repeatative. No mom wants to see the tears and tempertantrums. But we have to be realistic, the kids would never have clean clothes, a safe floor to crawl, or walk and play on, food in their tummies. I make sure my daughter has an hour in her room for "naptime" so I can get anything I need done, or relax. It's rough! I learned also that you should set time aside for story time, play time, or what he likes. It will be okay, be repeatative and it will sink in. Good luck! Jen

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M.F.

answers from Charlotte on

Hi J.,

I laughed when I read your request. I only did that because I can totally relate and have the same exact issue. We just have to sit back and know one day we will laugh about this and think wow where did time go and actually miss these very things that we struggle with right now.

I have an 18 month old girl(10-05) and she chases me like a shadow when it comes time to clean. She wants the rags, she wants the broom, she wants the mop. I tried to give her her own thing to use - like the kids' cleaning tools-forget it - I can't fake her out and she always wants the real thing. She does not sit and watch DVD's nor naps most of the time. I just have accepted things will not get done with her with me at times.

I have to wait till weekends and get my husband to take her elsewhere so I have "me" time and get things done. Sometimes I'll take her and go for bike rides and make my husband clean.

I have gone through phases of wanting my house to look a certain way and get "mini" projects done around the house and have accepted that they are not going to happen till she gets older.

One thing that has helped recently, we have a great room in our home and I use the arches to place in a gate. It separates her from the area I am folding clothes, cooking and mopping and etc. I let her think she 's helping by giving her some tupperware to sort, clothes out of a little basket to fold, stack her plastic plates and etc.

Another thing I have started to do is get up earlier than she does and have that "me" time and also do things I know I can 't do with her around.

Just some thoughts and stay sane!
Good luck with everything and hang in there.
S.

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C.M.

answers from Melbourne on

I am having the same problem with my 19 month old son. I cannot clean my floors while he is awake becuase he won't leave me alone and he freaks out when I put him in the pack and play and I cannot do it while he is asleep becuase it is to loud!
Right now I just try to do what I can when my husband is home but I also work part time at night so really that only leaves saturday to get stuff done while my hubby distracts him for me.
My plan is once school is out to have my teenage babysitter come over during the day to take him outside to play while I get my housework done. Other than that I do not know what to tell you. I look forward to seeing what the other Mom's suggest.
C.

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