Miscarriage Memorial

Maybe just a "thinking of you" card? Add some gift certificates for a night out to dinner. Hard subject....especially if they are trying to work past it.

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D.:

It's really sweet of you to want to do something...however, as a woman who lost babies - I don't want people to bring it up unless I talk about it. it's a VERY painful time - especially if you lost babies LATE in the term....

Let them lead you. DO NOT assume they want something done unless they ask you.

Take care!

Are they planning something and did they ask for support around a memorial, or are you thinking this up on your own? This is not normally a gift-giving occasion or something that people acknowledge with any sort of public ceremony. There are no cards for such an "occasion". It's nice of you to think of them, but I'm not sure you should be doing anything at all unless they have specifically indicated their desire that you do so. I have never heard of a miscarriage memorial at the due date. This could be incredibly painful for them even though you mean well.

I think that just a phone call will do. Ask her how she is doing, and let her know you are thinking of her. That will mean more than anything. If she wants to talk, then she will. If not, she will appreciate your thoughtfulness.

i had a very late miscarriage and believe you me, the due date is a very painful day.we are reminded of our loss with every baby commercial, baby clothes in department stores and seems like every woman out there is huge with a baby bump. plus we know the date of the miscarriage, too. so no, no memorial gift.

Unless you know for sure she wants to mark it in some way, I wouldn't do anything. Maybe give her a call or see if she wants to go to lunch that day (but don't say "Because it's your original due date" or anything). Unless it was a particularly late miscarriage or something more traumatic than other miscarriages would be, most people try to move on and marking it or bringing it up could re-open those wounds.

Unless they asked you to do so then I wouldn't bring it up. That is not something to celebrate. It is hard enough just let it go.

No memorial gift, please. Perhaps just a simple Thinking Of You card. You don't have to put the reason in it because when it shows up around the anniversary it'll be pretty obvious. Recognition by others is a lovely thought and I appreciate that people will sometimes talk to me about it and be open about it, but I would probably be ripped apart if someone gave me a memorial gift on the anniversary of when the baby's due date would have been. I had my own memorial, and that was enough.

I agree with the others that although I think your heart is in the right place, it's better not to do anything unless the parents have said they're okay with it. When my EDD approached (2 lost babies, each with the same EDD 2 years apart) I didnt' want to share it with anyone except my DH. It's very personal and after hearing some of things that people said to me at the time of my losses I really wanted to keep my mourning to myself. I was lucky to be pg again when both EDD's appraoched which made it easier, but I still didn't want to share my grief.

A.

I pretty much agree with the other moms. Having gone through this it's a hard enough day.
Now if you are family I can totally understand you wanting to do something. I know my mom had a hard time on my EDD as well, after all she was not becoming a grandma on the same day I was not becoming mom. She bought be a beautiful flower pot filled with forget me nots. I cry every time I look at the plant but it's beautiful and exactly the type of gift that I would have asked for. She dropped it off at my house and never said a word about it. I knew what it was for and I appreciated that I wasn't confronted with talking about it until I was ready to acknowledge it.

I wouldn't get a gift or memorial - unless they are asking for one. A symtahty/tinking of you card would be appropriate.

My own husband got me a Mother's necklace, over a year later, that had both our living childrens' stones, and the birthdstone for the miscarried baby on it. It was very sweet and thoughtful, but that was coming from inside the situation, from the father of the baby. If you are not sure how they are dealing with it at this point, just a simple thinking of you card, or take your friend out for the day for lunch ro dinner to get her mind off it.

You sound like a very thoughtful frined to even remember the dus date and want to do something, that is sweet!

Jessie

If you are absolutely set on doing something, do a card--sympathy or thinking of you card ONLY. Don't do anything confrontational about the edd date or anything---its incredibly hard to get through the memorial date and edd and aniversaries etc. You sound like a great friend---be there to talk if she needs you. GL!

M