MIL Hates Our Child's Name

Hmmm, the evil sarcastic gnome who lives in my head would tell her I've decided we don't like the name Meme anymore and we've decided to have the kids call her GeezerGirl instead.

I am not thrilled with some of my grandchildren's names but it's not my place to say anything. The parents name the kids and the grandparents love them no matter what.

Smile, nod, and then completely ignore her. Don't engage in her drama, you can't win.

Me Me might just be the most appropriate name for her as everyone else will always come in second (or third).

My MIL did something similar but wasn't quite as controlling about it. My father died while I was pregnant, and so my husband's mother decided we should name our child after him (note that this was not HER husband, but MY father!). But my MIL didn't have your MIL's history of calling people by the wrong names - sometimes she'd get forgetful and confuse the grandsons or call my husband by the dog's name, but it was absolutely not intentional. But when she announced that, if we had a son, no matter what we named him, she'd be calling him "Bob", I did get worried. My husband and I knew we were expecting a boy, but hadn't told anyone else. We did not want to name our child Robert/Bob because it didn't go with our last name and would have been the name of a celebrity who was not doing such good stuff at the time.

So here's what happened. I kept quiet. My husband blew up at her and told her she would absolutely not call our child by anything other than the name we chose, or she wouldn't see the baby. Period. He meant it. And it would have been a huge deal because we live in the same town - no way to just avoid it a couple of times a year.

In our case, the baby came and she got over it. We did give our son the middle name of Robert (not because of the MIL but because we had planned to do that anyway). But I don't think that's what appeased her. I think she just got nervous and also got over her craziness. When she saw the baby, she went into complete Grandma mode and all was well.

In your case, your MIL is actually spot on with the "Me Me" thing, and she sounds a little mentally ill. If she game around with your daughter after a year, I guess that's pretty good - it happened long before your child really had a chance to get confused.

So if I were you, I'd back away from this. I'd let your husband handle his mother entirely. Give your MIL 6 months to do whatever she wants, but be sure that every time she uses the wrong name, YOUR HUSBAND (not you) informs your older child/ren that Grandma is getting confused about names these days and not to give it any thought.

I'd also get some of those prints that talk about each name, the origin, the meanings, and many famous and admirable people who had that name. If you can't find them on line, you can research it a bit and write up something yourself. You can have a graphic artist lay it out in a nice font with a nice design around the border, or have the quick printer do something - then print on nice paper and frame them. Hang them in the front hall or the family room, any place of prominence where Grandma can see them.

You could, if you are over her house, just pack up the children and leave if she calls them by a substitute name. If she comes up with a nickname that's kind of cute, maybe you can let that go - a pet name is different from a total defiance, in-your-face kind of controlling.

Or you could go the passive-aggressive route if you're feeling nasty - like I am right now! If you're really in a mood because she's still out of control after 6 months and you're starting to really get ticked off, then start calling your husband by a totally different name. Don't say anything directly to her, but if his name is Bill, start saying, "Scott, can you hand me the burp cloth" and "Scott, bring me a drink of water, will you, dear?" When MIL asks about it, tell her you just hate the name SHE chose for HIM and you're calling him something else! This will either calm her down and make her see how ridiculous she is, or it will aggravate her controlling impulses and make her explode. At which point your husband throws her out of your house. Either way, problem solved.

But I'd look at her with some pity and realize she has some horrible unfulfilled need that makes her this way. I'd also stop discussing the name with her, and if it comes up, just say "The baby isn't here yet, we aren't discussing the name, thank you for your suggestions but Bill and I will make that decision. You don't have to worry about it." If she keeps on, get up and leave the room. Or the house. Take a walk, get in the car, take the other kids, leave her sitting there alone. Depending on how slow a learner she is, she'll figure out that she gets zero attention when the pulls this stuff, rather than the increased attention she's trying for.

Your baby, your choice. She can go pound sand.

she's a textbook narcissist, isn't she?
blerg.
but she's your MIL. is this really a hill to die on?
to enjoy your last baby in peace, let peace reign.
i'd just tell her 'i'm sorry the name we love has negative associations for you. that's hard to get past, isn't it? but i'm sure with time our rose will become THE rose.'
and don't engage further. the only way this will rise to the drama level is if you let it rankle you, as she so clearly desires.
as to her calling your daughter by a 'free spirited' name, and her own insistence on being Meme, so what? lots of family members have pet names for each other.
i'm taken aback by how many people suggest you should limit contact with her over this, or allow it to escalate into a huge battle of wills. there are plenty of excellent reasons to sever associations with family members. this barely registers on the radar.
it's a nuisance. an eye-roller. a good reason to snark in the pantry with your husband or sister or sister-in-law. no way should it ruin your enjoyment of your child, or upset your husband's relationship with his wacky mom.
khairete
S.

Honestly, who cares? Name your child what you want. If your MIL wants to have another nickname for her so be it. Your daughter will simply grow up knowing that grandma's off her rocker.
You can't reason with crazy, so don't even try.

Oh geez...she sounds so narcissistic and a lot like my mom. When my son was born, my mom actually told my mother in law that she (my mom) gets MORE time with HER grandbaby (our first child and her first grandchild) since my MIL already has other grandkids. She also told me she hated the name I picked out for my son. We stuck to our guns and about 2 years later she said it is the perfect name for him and now she loves it. Like your MIL, my mom loves to create drama. I think you just have to ignore your MIL. Ignore her. Set boundaries.

This is why we never shared names before the kids were born. Nobody gets a say but the parents. What would I do? I'd name her Rose and simply understand that she's going to be a difficult person. And if she chooses to call her granddaughter a different name, so be it - it's sweet for a grandmother to have special nicknames for her grandchildren. But she's your daughter. And if Ron Howard can name his children after the cities in which they were conceived (a little icky, if you ask me!), then you can name your daughter a beautiful name like Rose.

By the way, we chose a name for our daughter that is both a version if my own middle name but also matches my aunt's name. My mother hated my aunt and sounded very disappointed we chose that name until she realized we were actually going to use her middle name daily. But honestly, she would have had a new association with the name and she would have gotten over it.

Sounds like you both have issues. Sorry but so what what she calls your kids, the only way it has any power to hurt is when you add feeling disrespected.

My ex's dad calls my kids all kinds of nicknames, so what, they would never see it as he hates their name unless someone actually says wow grandpa really hates your name. Funny thing is it is his daughters that gave the really odd names that he actually hates. Still since he did it to be funny with my kids the other kids don't see it as any different.

It is funny that you bring up what she wants to be called. Just as you have no power to control what she calls your kids she has no power to control what they call her. My ex's mom wanted to be called aunt because she was so young *rolls eyes* we always called her grandma, eventually she got over it.

Don't give her this power, name your kid, move on.

I'm so sorry you have such a drama queen in your lives. But the key thing is this: You already know, very well, that she IS a total all-about-me drama queen, and the issue over Rose's very lovely name is just another example -- not the first time she's done this. So it's not like it's out of character, or a huge blow because MIL is very suddenly acting this way; it's how she's always been and you know that, unfortunately.

So is it possible that a part of your upset here is not just over the name -- she already did her selfish, silly thing with your first child's name -- but over the fact that you're due to deliver soon and you dread the idea that once again she will "drum up" drama around that special occasion? You would be totally justified in fearing that, from what you describe!

Knowing as you do that she's going to do whatever her "free spirit" dictates, if you are worried that she's going to make one of her grabs for attention around the time of Rose's birth, here's what I suggest: Your husband (not you! her son!) needs to give her some specific JOBS to do around that time. Things to keep her far from you. Yeah, it's making work but he needs to do whatever is needed to keep mom at a distance from you if she stresses you out. But mom does not need to know that's what he's doing! Can she go do the grocery shopping for your family and stock the fridge while you are at the hospital? Look after your other kid(s) (if she's good with them, that is)? Anything?

If that would only backfire and make her feel she's even MORE super-special, well, your husband can tell her that your doctor has said no visitors at the hospital. Yes, throw the doctor under the bus here and make him or her the bad guy!

As for Rose's name: As you would do with a stubborn toddler (because MIL's on that level here), just ignore as much as you can, and be sure both you and your husband use Rose's name as often and loudly as possible in MIL's presence! Insisting that she use the name may just make her dig in deeper and refuse to use it at all. YOU know it's the best name. If MIL brings up the cousin's wife again, your husband (again, his job as the adult child, not yours as daughter in law) should put on a truly huge smile and say, "We never met that Rose and didn't know she existed. Sorry if she gives you bad associations but we know you are so very loving you would never take those associations out on YOUR little Rose by telling her the name isn't nice. And maybe a new, beautiful Rose will help erase any bad vibes you have about the name." Then he instantly changes the topic and does not, not, not discuss it with her further.

My sister said the same thing about my oldest's name. I told her I didn't care what she thought, she couldn't tell me what to name my own child, but she could call him anything she liked. What do I care if a relative decides on a nickname for my kid? That's between the two of them, it doesn't take anything away from my relationship with my own child and it's not offensive to me because their opinion does.not.matter.

And you know what? She calls him by his first name now...the 6 or so times she's seen him in 19 years *rollseyes*

Seriously, do not engage anymore with her about this. Change the subject, or look at her with a blank stare every time she brings it up. Don't let her take up any more of your energy, you have a baby to grow!

I'm sorry-why is she in your life? she is toxic-it's all about the children-period. BTW-Rose is a beautiful name-it brings tears to my eyes to hear this name because it makes me think of St. Therese!

Of course you name the baby what you want.

When it comes up, just say "Thanks for your opinion, we'll keep it in mind." Then ignore it.

When the baby is born, let her call the baby what she wants. Your child will know what her real name is. And lots of grandparents (and parents for that matter) call kids by silly pet names. No big deal. Your daughter won't know about the drama unless you tell her.

(My dad has nicknamed all my kids. When I ask them "Who's the craziest person you know?" My kids (lovingly) reply "PAPPY!!" I just smile or laugh - and so does Pappy when they do it in his presence.)

Well ain't she a toxic bundle of attitude?
Ick.
And it does not even matter, what she thinks anyway.
YOU are the parents.

Your Husband, by NOW, probably knows his Mom is a toxic bundle of un-joy and very narcissistic. So he should do something about it.
By now.

Whoa. Your MIL sounds like an immature narcissist.

Your baby, your choice. My goodness, YOU are not responsible for other people's name associations / history!

I agree w/mamas who recommended limited contact with "meme". You don't need your kids being mistreated emotionally over her issues, nor do you need to fear her disrespect and disregard for your choices as parents. People like this will always find a reason to create drama, so maybe show her that the consequence for such self-absorption is loneliness until she gets it.

Meme is the French Canadian version of Grandmother. My sister in law is Meme to her granddaughter. The first Me is like the me in menthol and the second me is like me.

As far as her not liking the names your decided on? Not her child not her decision. If she voices it again tell her that she named all the children it was up to her to name. If she doesn't like the name then act like a grown up and keep it to herself. Lather, rinse, repeat as often as needed.

You mentioned that she's a drama queen so really anything will bring out the drama. Instead of buying into it (like you are doing right now) feel bad for her that she's so insecure that when the spotlight isn't on her she needs to act out so that she's the center of attention again. She's being childish so treat her like a child. Deflect and keep the focus on what's important; yourself and your family.

As far as the stupid nicknames? I call my grandchildren lots of nicknames including dolly, sweetie, pumpkin, sweetie pie, etc. I did the same with my own children. To be up front I don't care for several names my children selected for my grandchildren however I was not part of the process because I only name 4 legged creatures now. Love them to pieces no matter what their parents named them.

Your MIL is an idiot. Rose is a beautiful name.

Your MIL will just have to learn how to live with it. If she wants to call your daughter by another name, that is her choice, and it may or may not stick. When your daughter gets older, she has a right to tell her grandma which name she prefers to be called.

If it were me, I would ignore all future comments about the name and try not to engage in that sort of conversation. If she persists, let your husband deal with his mom.

My ex-MIL did stuff like this - I caved to it and I STILL regret it. My ex could not keep her drama at bay and it hurt our marriage a lot.

She needs to butt out and keep her opinions to herself. If you guys asked her opinion she can give it one time, but that's it. Otherwise she needs to drop it.

If I'm ever blessed with DILs I would NEVER do something like that to them. Think about how you would treat your future daughter or sons-in-law.

I would read up on narcissists or borderline personality disorder. I'm not saying that's her problem but it's something I'd read about.

Either this is a once-in-a-blue-moon issue, or you have needed to make boundaries with your MIL a long time ago.

If the latter is the case, I could suggest the book "Dance of Anger" by Harriet Lerner; this book is about changing your (and your husband's) responses to MIL's behavior by being more proactive and thoughtful in your approaches to her.

I'm baffled as to why you revealed the name ahead of time a *second* time since you state you had problems with this earlier.

I'll say this: figure out how much this matters in the big picture. Are you needing to address her behavior as a whole, or is this just one area she really doesn't do well in? It doesn't sound like you are saying "she's so toxic, we cannot be around her" (and I have HAD to make that choice with my own mother, it is a heartbreaking one and not one to be entered into lightly... no contact for 12 years now, she's never met my husband or son she is THAT bad). How did you resolve the matter with your other child? You say that she called her a nickname for a year and then it sounds like she got over it. Maybe that will happen here, too?

Think about what you want to focus on in this situation. I have friends who still don't always pronounce Kiddo's name correctly. The world is big and life is long-- my guess is if you ignore the childish bids for attention and being 'special' from your MIL (because that's what it most sounds like), she'll use Rose's proper name within a year or so.

What would I do? Honestly, after having to make some of the very hard choices I have had to make regarding my own family, this is one I would let go of.My perspective of 'what's important' has changed in light of my own experiences, so I do understand if some can't relate. I'm of the opinion that having a grandma is a pretty special thing; if a more or less loving grandma gives my kid a nickname in the short term, small potatoes.

After two, did it ever dawn on you to surprise everyone with the name AFTER the birth? Lol
Your kid--your decision.

Rose is a beautiful name! (That is my 2nd daughter's middle name, and we named her after my dad's mother... her name was Rosina..) Sorry, but it sounds like your MIL has a lot of problems.

How to handle it? Don't really know, except to say that this is our child, and we are the ones that get to name the child. And... then threaten her with the FACT that you WILL limit her time around her if she makes a big stink about the name. And... then be sure to follow through!

I'm sure everyone around the MIL know how she is, and won't listen to her tirades.

This is why one should tell NOBODY what the baby will be named until after the baby is born and named.

Sounds like your MIL is mentally ill. Really. It's all about her? No, it's not. She had her children and named them. When someone else has a baby, that mom and dad get to choose, and perhaps she won't like the name, but we still call the person what their parent named them.

I know it's too late for you now, but these issues are easily avoided by not telling people the name you chose before the baby is born. No one knew our chosen names til each child was born and their name was an established fact, not a subject for discussion and opinion.

Good luck. If she makes up a stupid nickname for your child, I'd stop seeing her.

We've found it best not to discuss these things with family.
We don't ask them about names or discuss what our current favorites are (they changed so often there was no point).
We simply informed them on the birth announcement what his name was.
Whether they like it or not is irrelevant.
If she wants to be called Mimi instead of grandma - fine - but it's not ever going to be all about her (MeMe) no matter how much she thinks it is.
If Grandma can't play nice (and makes up a ridiculous nickname), just don't bother seeing her a lot.
It's not worth the drama and your lives do not orbit around hers.

My mother doesn't spell my third child's name correctly. She was against the name from the start., and she says it just too hard to spell. I just ignore her.

Tell her what the baby's name is, and just ignore her. So when she says," can I see "whatever her made up names is," say," the baby's name is Rose," and then walk out of the room ;-)

Do not engage or listen to her. Diane B is right on this.

This MIL is so out of line. You know it and your husband knows it.

My opinion (not the point of your post), names are cyclical and may sound 'bad' to one generation and 'fresh' to another. Jennifer and Kimberly were fresh in the 1970's and sound like a mom's name today (but anyone using these names should be respected regardless if they were popular away ago). Rose may give the MIL (grandma) a different imagine than a current mom. I LOVE the name Genevieve. Maybe her old lady ears hear a different thing.

The Meme thing is obnoxious. Cute nickname, but her self centered attitude is awful. I was laughing when your husband suggested Bart as her nickname. These stories help make us aware of how not to act when we become MIL and grandmothers (or how not to act ever).

To make a short statement, your child, your name, end of story. Grandma can have a nickname. As for the Meme thing, that is up to your daughter to decide, it could turn out to be Grandma and that's it.

I had a nickname I wanted to be called but grandson calls me grandma and that's it. I love him dearly and his nickname is Scooter as kept scooting off my son's lap as a baby, hence Scooter.

So do as you please and don't get upset with MIL. She had her day with babies and names. I just love mine and enjoy him as much as possible when I see him.

the other S.

You are an adult. Tell her to stuff it.

It's a lovely name.

I also have a mom who oversteps her role as grandma (hence the hideous first communion veil hanging in my daughter's closet). I don't have any easy answers other than I have decided to sidestep her drama as much as possible. This means that if I was in your shoes, I think I'd name the baby Rose (really lovely) and just ignore whatever Meme calls her. Treat it like a nickname that only the Grandmother uses.

No advice. Just wanted to say I love both names! I love "old school" names. My oldest is also called Genevieve. :) We spelled it Jenavieve, though, to give it a modern feel and so her nickname could be Jena. Doctors and nurses are always calling her Geneva, though. *Sigh*

I have a daughter named SaraJane and two nieces named Tiffany and Alyssa. I call them Lovey, Nikki and Susie respectfully. I've always called them that. I will always call them that.

It is not a slight on my sister. It's not that I don't LOVE my daughters name. But that's what I call them. And they respond. And I love them eternally. And yes, I am a little crazy (but that's besides the point). :)

Your daughter can be called what ever.....just as long as there's love in it, it shouldn't matter.

Sending good thoughts your way.

Your MIL named her own kids. She doesn't get a vote on what you name yours. You and your husband have found a name that YOU like - use it.

You have no no control over what she calls your child, and that's not a hill to die on. Lots of grandparents have their own special names for their grandkids. The kids don't assume that Granny hates their name, they usually like having a "special" name that only Granny calls them.

We had several people that expressed their opinion about our girl name choice for our first baby. We had a boy, and it still drives me nuts when I get a comment about it being so great we had a boy so we didn't use that "awful" name.

I would definitely stick with the name you love. The evil voice in my head would say "well, MIL, I guess when we reach a certain age, we find we have a negative association with just about every name, don't we?" But in reality, just roll your eyes and let it go. She can call your daughter Esmerelda til she is blue in the face, her name will still be Rose.

She needs a good dose of "No one told you what to name your kids so please zip it and butt out." This should come from your hubby. Some women...

She sounds mentally ill. Never leave your children alone with her.

Some people never grow up, it is all about them, in their little minds.

She sounds crazy. Time for your husband to step up and either put some boundaries around her or seriously limit your relationship with her. Seriously, I would just stop communicating with her entirely. He needs to tell her that if she can't respect something as basic as what you name your child, then her presence in your lives isn't welcome. And then follow through - no visits, no phone calls, no nothing.

Take heart, your kids will take to calling grandma what name they choose, despite her preference otherwise.

My father wanted to go by "Grandpa," instead of using the words for Grandpa in French, Armenian or Arabic (other languages spoken in our home), because he didn't want DS to find himself calling him something other kids might percieve as strange down the line. DS, unable to pronounce Grandpa, took to calling him "pee pah" and so it remains.

My MIL told us she wanted "Granny Ship" because she went by "MotherShip" to her own kids. Soon after DS was born, she said she wanted "Granny B______." I tripped over it for a while, but tried to oblige her. While visiting her in Australia, when DS was about two years old, she announced she wanted to be called "Grandmama." Again, I tripped over it for a while, but tried to oblige her. DS has taken to calling her "Granny Grandma" now.

Were it that what they are called by our DS was very important to us, we might go about correcting him, but as frankly, we don't really care either way, and my father and my MIL have each accepted their designations, so it will stand.

While not ideal, none of this is really all that important. So long as there is an undercurrent of love.

Best,
F. B.

After getting everyone's unsolicited opinions with my first, we didn't tell anyone what we were thinking of for our 2nd until after she was born. People seem less willing to share their opinion after the baby has already been named.

My parents never like the name Isaac (my son's name), eventhough my mom has admitted she thinks it suits him. My dad still calls him IJ and probably always will. My son liked that grandpa had a special name for him and even considered going by the nickname for a couple years. I do occasionally call him IJ or Ike, but primarily he's always been Isaac. My daughter goes by Abigail, Abby, Abs, Abber-dabs and other ones I can't even think of.

I would just tell your MIL that you and your husband haven't made any definite decisions yet, but you'll be sure to let her know as soon as the baby is born. I'd also maybe mention that you two are mentioning "decoy" names to get people to quit bugging you and that you giggle about it all the time. But, sometimes I think its fun to poke the bear ;)

Your child will never know that grandma hates her name unless someone tells her. I would make a deal with your MIL that she can come up with any cutsie name she wants to call your child by as long as she never tells the child that she hates her name. Truly, I think it's kind of cute for grandma to have a special name for the child as long as it's done respectfully.

I think you are over reacting. In the whole scheme of life and what's truly important, this simply is not, IMHO.

I love Rose. The onomastician in me is thrilled.

No matter the name you choose, your MIL's associations with the name don't matter. If you wanted to be super-sensitive and take on her chosen burden you could honor her wishes and gain some brownie points, but you'd also be showing her that her opinions will forever more trump yours and your husband's. She had her chance to name her children. She got to avoid the names she hated.

"You know, Mom, we're sorry that you're having a hard time with our name choices. The discussions about baby names are now off the table. We don't want to talk about baby names with you any more, so we won't. If you even bring it up, we're going to change the subject, hang up on you, or leave."

Then you have to follow through. When the baby is born and you've named her that beautiful name just like her older sister's beautiful name, same rules apply. Retrain that woman to respect your decisions with simple and immediate consequences.

"Mom, if you don't call the baby by her given name then we're going to leave/ask you to leave." Tell her approved nicknames that she can use if she can't tolerate the given name.

My MIL hated the majority of names we tossed around. She ended up coming around on our eldest and youngest because they have Italian roots and are easy to say. They also have familial roots. She hates their middle names, though. With our middle daughter, she despises her first name but loves her middle name. We anglicized that daughter's first name, but we allow my MIL to use the Italian form because it's easier to say AND my daughter loves it... it's a pet name anyway for the anglicized version. My MIL's youngest son who passed away when my eldest was a baby is my middle daughter's middle-namesake, which is why she loves it.

So in our case, we did manage to alleviate some of her issues which were really language/speech issues. Yet we still chose the name we wanted. We didn't let her budge us on that.

AAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhh! That is me getting my frustration toward your MIL out!!!! Your MIL is a super drama queen, and she must be stopped. Have your husband threaten his mother right back, telling her that if she changes Rose's name and calls her something else, she will not be allowed to see her! That should put her drama shanatagans to rest! She is seeing how far she can go with you and your husband. She will continue to behave like this as long as you two allow it. You two hold the power. USE IT!!!!!! Good luck.

Addition to my post - now that I think about it, your husband had the BEST idea - and the most realistic one. With people like your MIL - you sometimes need to "play her game." (sometimes - if it's way too out of line, then you need to put a stop to it at once). But his suggestion to call her "Bart" is great - and completely fair!! Tell her if she makes up a name for Rose, that you will make up a name for Rose to call her someday! Tell her when Rose can talk, she will call her "Grandma Bart." If she does not want to be called Grandma Bart (or maybe Grandma Berta), then she will respect your name choice and call your daughter Rose. END OF STORY!!!!!!!!!!!! Teach her that you two will also play her game!

Where do people get off telling you what to name your kid? You need to tell her that what she likes or dislikes in this case is irrelevant and if she wants to name or address a child by a name that is not their own, then she should have a baby of her own. The nerve of this woman. She obviously has nothing else to do, but stick her nose where it doesn't belong. I see nothing wrong with the MIL having a special nickname for the child, but to outright say you don't like her name and won't call her that is way over the top. What does your husband think of his mother's behavior? Has he talked with her about her intrusiveness? If not, he should.

I'd simply say if she doesn't want to call the baby by her name then she didn't have to see her.

Tell her you've also come up with the middle name: Rosie, and you're having her last name changed to McRoserson.
Rose Rosie McRoserson. Nicknamed Rose. Short for Rose. Just keep repeating it every time she says anything. I hate MILs.

There is nothing you can say to her, remember you can't reason with crazy. Just tell her you love the name and do not engage her. Walk away. Every time.

Your husband needs to handle this.

This is exactly why we NEVER disclose the baby's name until AFTER the birth and it is already on the birth certificate and social security card! :-)

We are expecting #8 in May, so we've had some experience with the baby naming game. Go with what works for you and your husband. Explain the meaning of the beautiful name to your daughter when she is old enough to understand. BTW - my lovely great-grandmother named Rose lived to be almost 100 and died of natural causes AND it is my first daughter's middle name.

Good luck!

My MIL did not like our oldest son's name (Liam) when we announced it. She bought a baby name book and highlighted the names she liked. My hubby is the 3rd and she wanted my son to be the 4th. She said she would call him Lee. Liam is almost 9 and she loves the name!!! And, she never called him Lee.

She also didn't want to be called Grandma...she picked the name GG.

She is a wonderful a MIL & Grandma. This was just a small bump in the road. Maybe your MIL will come around. Stick with your name!!!

omg, what a drama M. your MIL is... I would say both of you need to lay down the law with her or she can't see the baby... I love love love the suggestion that you come up with a name that the child can call her! LOL

Sounds like my MIL. My sister was sitting in the waiting room with my MIL while I was giving birth. My MIL told my sister that she didn't like the name we chose and that she was going to call my son "Chip". I am still annoyed by it. She only called him Chip for a few weeks and then decided our name for him wasn't so bad. I make for a hilarious joke now! My son laughs every we tell him the story.

My dad's family hated my name, too. My grandmother kept making up nicknames that she wanted to call me. My mom just kept telling her, "No, please call her by her name." When I was born, apparently it ceased to be an issue and everyone called me by the name my parents gave me. Just stick to your guns. It's not your MIL's baby. She doesn't get to pick the name.

She sounds.mean. glad she isn't my relative. Its your baby. The names you picked are perefctly normal. As much as she thinks its her business it is not.