Mental Aspect of Weight Loss - Big Changes

i hear ya, sistah! well, i did used to be slender, but that was a long time ago<G>.
don't fall into the 'i'll be good' or 'i've been bad' trap. it's sooooo very pervasive. changing your body image, your eating habits and your patterns of self-sabotage is a long trip. you understand it intellectually a long time before you're able to make permanent changes.
just slowing the pendulum is a great start. you will still likely swing back and forth, but you can make the extremes less drastic. try not to think of it as 'anything goes' and 'being bad' versus 'behaving' and 'being good.' part of the problem is that we tend to feel that if we've blown it one day, we may as well write that entire day off and eat ourselves sick. that's like getting a speeding ticket and thinking 'well, i've already broken the law today and got caught. might as well drive like a #@$%^ idiot for the rest the day now!'
if you overeat or over-sugar, don't waste time beating yourself up. you now have the opportunity to get through the rest of the day, or the next hour, or the next 10 minutes, drinking water, and choosing to fuel your body with nutrients that will energize and nourish it.
that doesn't mean you'll never overeat unhealthy stuff again. but you don't have to do it NOW.
if you talked yourself out of working out today, you can still do something. do some bicep curls during a commercial. walk up and down the stairs 2 times more than you have to.
drink another glass of water.
small steps, hon.
we'll make it!
:) khairete
S.

Having been on both sides, people treat you a lot differently when you are thin. Strangers talk to you more, people stand closer to you. If you are shy like me this is disconcerting. You have a love/hate relationship with the compliments you receive because you aren't used to all the attention. For me, my weight is a barrier to keep people at a distance. Also if you have to start shopping for clothes in different stores you feel disoriented because it's not what you are familiar with.
Change of any kind is never easy for people.
Although I can recognize why I do it, I can't stop myself from doing it so I guess I'm not much help here. Best of luck with your goals, I'm always hopeful that today will be the day it will click for me!

It does make sense... we have a vision of ourselves in our head and if reality does not match it we are uncomfortable with ourselves.

What helpd me was an exercise in visulaization, I would relax and pictured what I wanted to see... I did that every day at least twice a day. It sounds a bit corny, but after a week or so, when I would look at myslef in a mirror, instead of just seeing me, i could also see what I should be (the me I had been visualizing). Not long after that, it was truly how I thought I should like...

Good luck!

I just started the book Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst - I can already see a difference in the way I look at food.

I actually think there is a physical component to it.

Last year I lost 13 pounds, which was alot for me (had a 20 pound goal), doing P90X. While I was getting there I was a complete bear - not fit to be around. I was weepy, cranky, snappish, etc. At the beginning of the process I even posted a beyotchy question here. :P

I have read that we store up hormones and toxins in our fat, and when we start to burn through that fat it can get very unpleasant physically. I felt so toxic. So maybe that's partially to explain why we ease off of it after losing some pounds. Of course some of us just lose our discipline too LOL.

I would look at liver support supplements, as well as amino acids, vitamins and minerals. I prefer to work with alternative health care providers because even supplements can have side effects and get tricky. I would want to make sure my hormones were as balanced as possible.

I look at losing weight as a time to really nurture yourself. You're going through change, and it's not always fun. It's more than just numbers on a scale.

Good luck.

PS: I can't wait to read "Made to Crave" too.

Have you tried eating fewer carbs?
have you tried eating 5 - 6 small meals a day?
have you tried using smaller plates for meals?
Have you tried using chopsticks to eat instead of a fork?
Do you choose Subway over BK?
Do you drink a lot of water? I've noticed just in the last month since I've been exchanging one soda for a glass of water, that my clothes are fitting better. The scale hasn't really changed, but my body has.

Dr. Oz recommends drinking 4 cups of Black tea a day. There is also research that shows that certain food combinations help us pack on the pounds and others help us shed them. Have you talked to your health coach about food combinations?

Yes, our minds are powerful things. We tend to have a fear of the unknown and resist change so that we don't have to deal with the new.

If your health coach is not able to help you with this, you may need a new one. Maybe a Life Coach would be more helpful, or even a therapist who specializes in this area.

Visit a gym and have the check your fat %, this way you will know your health category. Good luck.

Well I do think that once you have been heavy you will always kind of think you are no matter what you look like. I was overweight at around12-15 years old and then it just came off naturally. I am thin now but still feel fat and always always want to lose "just 10 pounds" so I am in a continual state of dieting even though others think I am nuts for worrying about it. I did end up losing lots of weight this year during treatment for breast cancer and even though I was going through hell the losing weight made me SO happy and in a great mood. As long as I was skinny (in my mind) nothing else mattered.

Not sure if this will work but I think it would work for me if I were very heavy: really start to research how damaging being overweight is to the body. It is every bit as much as smoking truthfully. Your breast cancer risk alone is much higher if you are overweight and if you should get diagnosed your survival rate will be lower. Really look into what life would be like as a diabetic. Kind of like showing a smoker pictures of lungs with lung cancer-maybe it will scare you into losing weight. The thing is you are probably young and healthy and think that nothing like this will happen to you-its just what happens to others. Well, I thought that too until I got breast cancer. The first reason to maintain a healthy weight should be your health and longevity not how you look. If you start thinking about it in those terms that may help.

I think I understand what you're saying here. I was "normal curvy" growing up, and didn't put on weight until after high school. Now I look in the mirror, and I see a different person. I'm not the me I used to be, and I can imagine going the opposite way is just as scary. I don't know that I have any advice per se, but I do want you to know that I understand where you're coming from, and hope only the best for you.

I completely get what you are saying with the mental block of losing weight. Not only do strangers treat you differently based on what you weight, but it's scary to think that friends or family might too. Especially if activities and fun times revolve around food.
My response to this is: no matter what you weigh, you will still be you. Being healthy and able to physically do things feels good and brings a sense of acomplishment. I agree with the idea of visualizing you as a more healthy slender version of yourself , and try to add to that picture some good feelings like completing a tough hike, running a 5k.
Do it for you and dont let your fear hold you back.

Thank you! You inspired a blog post this morning!
http://heyyougetreal.com/momblog/the-mental-aspect-of-wei...

It starts off like this...

"I think, therefore I am." It is one of the most powerful quotes of all time. You say you don't know how to "be" smaller, that is a fair statement. So what do you do? You spend time every day imagining what your life is like now that you are the right and perfect size for you (and keep in mind your right and perfect size in your mind may not be the real right and perfect size for you).

You are not crazy! ;-) Your mind is a powerful tool!
If you want a great book that will help you look at the way you "talk" to yourself get Un-Dieting by Diane Lipson-Burge & Jackie Jaye-Brandt. Amazon used to have it (I didn't take the time to double check that) If you can't find it and truly want it...mssg me and I can get a copy to you! I don't think you will be disappointed.
In good health! J.