"Me First"

It STILL works with mine, and he's 7.5. As far as I know, it works forever. For a lifetime. It does have its drawbacks, though, because if you make everything about winning, it's harder for the child to accept losing, and this is something only children (or at least MY only child) struggle with anyway.

A variant that I like slightly better is "how fast can you....." Now that mine is 7 and highly technological, we time all kinds of things, getting dressed, finding shoes and jacket, etc., with the stopwatch function on my phone.

Be careful with this. I remember another post not so long ago about a little one who would absolutely lose it if they weren't first. And then ended up being very pushy with other children.

I'd suggest modifying it. "Who can be first to....open the door for the person behind them?"

"Who can be first to...let the next person go in front of them?"

Try to make it more about serving others instead of "me, me, me."

Remember the cartoon "Goofy Gophers?" Mac and Tosh were always VERY polite. "You first, my dear," and "But, no, no, no. It must be you who goes first!"

Think about it- you are glorifying being first. Is that the outcome you want? Yes, it works with you and your son. He does things faster. It's fun to race Mommy. Will it work in school with 17 other kids? In sports? When he's trying to be first through a doorway? When he's at someone else's birthday party? What happens when he has a friend over? Is he first at everything?

I would try another method.
Best,
T. Y
SAHM of 5
(13, 12, 6, 4 & 2)

I wouldn't really encourage the "me first." It comes naturally for kids and what they really need to learn is patience and how to wait their turn and that it's just not that important to be first. Picture your son being told in school to line up to go out to recess and he's literally knocking kids down because, in his opinion, he MUST be first. I think you should think about another way to motivate your son.

We do the "how fast can you" now. or I'll say, "do you think we can put away all these toys in 2 or 5 minutes, shall we time it?" They like racing against the clockl.

We do the "let's see how fast you can..." to avoid the whole "me first" thing and it works great. DS is almost 3, and it works like a charm. The other day he actually said "this is fun!" as he was frantically picking up legos. I will give him the option of me going first or him if it's something he doesn't want to do, and most of the time he'll want me to go first, but then will be willing to take his turn.

I like Mira's take on this, too. My granddaughters love to work against a timer when they visit! The "me first" game has to be played very carefully, because it's just a game between Mama and son, and can't be played with other people.

I never used that with my kids.
Its not about who's fastest or first.
I just told them by when something has to be done or by when we have to be ready to leave etc.
I used, time, to get them going.
ie: in 5 minutes you have to get ready. In 10 minutes we have to go. In 5 minutes you need to put away. etc.
And I would SHOW them, the clock. Tell them how to tell time.
And I also, told my kids things AHEAD of time. Giving them a head's up. ie: Head's up kids, in 10 minutes bedtime. Finish up. In 5 minutes we have to leave, we CANNOT be late, etc.
And so they learned how to tell time.

Or use a kitchen timer. And tell your kiddo that when it goes "ding", its time.

When a technique works well for your individual child, I say, go for it!

An additional game could be "What shall we set the timer for so that we can both be ready on time... so that we both can clean up our rooms... so that this yard looks just great!......etc." Then you can help each other with teamwork, sometimes letting him help you with your task to finish on time.

DS is 8 and we still do this, although to a much more limited extent. We now also use the stopwatch on my phone (that was DS's idea). I am guessing this will work forever.

If that grows old, you can use a timer so he can challenge himself. For example, set the timer for 5 minutes and ask if he can beat the timer, "you need to go to the bathroom and have your shoes on before the timer rings" or "yesterday it took you 8 minutes to do xyz, let's see if you can beat that time". You can also reward his effort by saying if you can be ready to leave by the time the timer rings we will have extra time for xyz" my kids are 5 and 6. They know that if they get all their responsibilities done when they wake up there is time to watch some tv before school.

With my son's personality, if you tried to do this when he was little he would get mad and refuse to do it. It turns out he is just naturally very sensitive, a perfectionist, and hyper competitive deep down inside. So, he can't handle the thought of not winning. Now he's in 4th grade and he still will refuse to try new sports or do things if he doesn't already know he's going to be good at it. He hates losing. He gives up too easily with many things. It has been a struggle. My daughter (4.5) LOVES playing this game with me..she loves racing me, and her friends, and she absolutely loves team sports and trying to win. Luckily she also has a lot of empathy for others and handles it well when someone else wins. She likes giving everyone high fives after her soccer game and saying GOOD JOB. She's a hoot! Personally, I think it is a plus that your son is like this. Just make sure to have talks with him (when he's older especially and joining a team) about it being ok to lose, just having fun in the game, thinking about how the other person or team feels, being a good sport, etc. And when you do race him, don't let him win every time!

This still works with my 4.5 yr old. I, too, keep wondering when the novelty will wear off. I plan to milk it for all it's worth. Sometimes this is the only thing that will get him to stop what he's doing to put his shoes and coat on so we can pick his siblings up from school.

I just think it's innocent fun and it can motivate for a lifetime if they're competitive by nature. If they're not, they'll grow out of it by the time they're tweens, they'll roll their eyes and smile. I'm sure as he grows you'll find other ways to motivate him -- every child has different buttons that work.