May Be Pregnant with Third - Worried About My Husband's Reaction

Take the test. If you are pregnant, you'll find a way to deal with it. And, if you aren't pregnant, you will at least know =)

You are putting the cart before the horse here. Take the test. If it is positive, then start worrying about everyone's reactions.

In my opinion, a man who doesn't get a vasectomy is a man who is open to having more children.

Why can't you scuba dive in your first trimester? I certainly would.

Ya know, it takes two to tango and get someone pregnant, and the thought of having to be afraid of a husband's reaction really gets my ire up. If he's THAT set against having a third that he would get pi$$ed off upon finding out his wife is pregnant, then screw his manhood, he's just gonna have to have a vasectomy.

GOD it makes me angry thinking about that. If your husband has a negative reaction to your being pregnant, I'd sure like to tell him a thing or two. Like, "Grow Up!! You know how babies are made -- if you don't want one, take the proper precautions."

Anyway, I'm no doctor, but I'm pretty sure you can still scuba dive when pregnant. Just stay above 30 feet. 30 feet is where all the pretty stuff and best fish are anyway. And it's warmer.

This didn't happen with me, but it happened with a close friend of mine. It was a birth control baby. He actually took off work that day and cried b/c he was so stressed. But then he came around and made it work and loves that kid. They ended up having another child after this one too... so 2 'opps' pregnancies, (4 children total). He has a vasectomy scheduled in January. If a man can't say goodbye to their 'manhood', then this is the reality they have subjected themselves to, so them being upset or whatever is pure nonsense. Really, the procedure has nothing to do with manhood. Also, there are non-hormonal contraceptives out there, talk to your obgyn.

Take the test. If he won't get a Vasectomy then he has to share in the "blame" so to speak. Pregnancy planning is both partner's responsibilities. I don't see why you can't go scuba diving anyway. Check with your doc...but put your mind to rest. I have three and it's the best thing in the world. Like you we rely on condoms so far so good. My DH won't get a vasectomy and since I've had the kids I am not going to mess with my hormones either.

Take the test! If you are congratulations! Lets face it, we all know that having sex can result in a pregnancy! Surprise!!! :) If he is upset, remind him that he was there too! Again, take the test, you could be worrying for nothing!

If you make your bed...you have to lie on it...in this case...you both made your bed...hmmmmm...he had his chance.

Surely your husband and father of 2 is mature enough to realize a child is a better gift than a diving trip? He'll be fine! :)

Updated

Surely your husband and father of 2 is mature enough to realize a child is a better gift than a diving trip? He'll be fine! :)

I don't understand the 100% thing, sorry. What does it mean?

You need to go get a blood test done so that you know before leaving for vacation whether or not you are pregnant. It does NO good to be scared to take the test. Take the pee test tomorrow morning with first morning's urine. If it's negative, go get the blood test.

None of us can tell you what is going to happen with your husband. No one else's husband is the same as yours! But I will tell you that if you are not pregnant, while you are on vacation, you need to tell him about this scare. Then you need to tell him that it is on HIM to get the vasectomy. If he won't, then it is HIS fault if you get pregnant. Tell him how careful you are with the calendar. He needs to get past this thing he has about his manhood. His manhood is what produces babies.

I don't think that this is encouragement, but I do think it is what you need to hear. If you've dodged the bullet, time for a hard talk with him and clear expectations on your part. Or accept the fact that there may be another baby down the line. You have to MAKE him listen to you on this, or he may be trying to lay all the blame on YOU, especially about not being able to take the pill, etc, when you end up telling him that baby number 3 is on its way.

Let us know how the testing turns out!

Dawn

My husband only wanted two, but slacked on going to see the doctor to get a vasectomy. Thank God. I can't imagine life without my 4 year old!! Hubby is home with him right now because he has pink eye and a double ear infection. Poor baby!!

I was more upset than he was. I had JUST started a job and wanted to be home with my babies until they were one. My youngest then was 15 months old.

Neither of us can imagine life without him!!

Take the test - why worry when you don't even know.

And...it takes two. So, in my opinion, if you think your husband could be resentful, I'd go as far to rethink your relationship.

My husband was done after two, then we had an oops. He wasn't happy for the first few months of my pregnancy, but he came around and was excited for the baby to come. The baby is now 2 yrs old and my husband tells me all the time that he can't imagine life without him. Neither can I! He is such a wonderful addition to our family and fits in perfectly! Best wishes!

I understand the anxiety about telling your husband, but honestly, since you can ovulate on ANY DAY OF THE MONTH even if you ovulated once already during your normal time you can get pregnant any time you have sex. If you have sex when you know you're ovulating or the week after, whether you use condoms or not you're risking a pregnancy.

That's what happens. Even when you use NFP. My brother and his wife use NFP and they not only chart but she takes her temperatures and checks mucus and discharge every single day for indications that she's ovulating or about to ovulate or has ovulated in case she ovulates more than once a month. If there's a risk of her getting pregnant then they abstain. No barrier method and no hormones because they've decided that it's not entirely fair for it all to be up to her to keep track of. If she has to keep track of things, then he has to abstain when she's fertile. Not my cup of tea, but whatevs. It works for them.

My point is, your HUSBAND is responsible for a pregnancy as much as you are. If he's upset then he's upset and there's no blame. He can own up to it like a man or he can act like a petulant brat. But you have a choice too. Don't act like a timid, scared kitten either. Take the test, find out for sure, and if you're pregnant then tell him with surety and confidence, "We made a baby. I'm going to the doctor. Time to start saving up again, Daddy!"

Sorry, but your husband needs a butt-kicking if you are pregnant and he is upset. You can't take birth control, and of course tubal ligation is very invasive. He won't get a vasectomy. You two are equally responsible for any pregnancies. If he is not willing to get the vasectomy, he might as well plan on even more than three kids. He has decided his "manhood" is top priority to him, and having more kids would be the consequence of preserving it, so he has made his decision and better get used to the possible outcome! It just makes me angry that he might be upset about you being pregnant when he is not ignorant of the facts and is just as responsible as you are.

He chose not to get a vasectomy though you said you'd be happy with 2 kids and support him in doing that? He ought to know that that is WAY more effective than natural family planning, and that you were both taking a much bigger risk. He may be thrown for a loop, shocked, but if he is a decent guy, he will realize he is just as much responsible for this as you. Sure he may be disappointed about the scuba thing, but it is only one activity, and you won't be pregnant forever. There will be another time to dive together. I'll bet he'll come around to the reality. I'd take the test asap.

My husband was happy with two, I reversed a tubal ligation because of a hormone imbalance, hubby didn't want his manhood touched either and I don't do well with the pill. Natural family planning is great but we weren't the best at abstaining... I just had my 5th 2 years ago...LOL It'll grow on him. He'll get used to having 3 after a few minutes. It's amazing how quickly they adjust. Don't worry. Pray for him and be excited. it'll work out. Can you sit on the boat when he's diving? I'm not sure how it works but you'll be back in the water in no time. Pregnancy is only temporary! Good luck and congratulations!!!

He doesn't want a vasectomy and you are using a rather...well, prone to failing method of birth control. It is not a matter of if you are getting pregnant in this situation but when.
Go take a test and be either relieved and go diving or know what's up so you can be responsible when you go on vacation.

If you are not pregnant you next stop should be your OB/GYN and exploring what methods of birth control you can actually use that are reliable, a copper IUD may be an option or talk about permanent birth control - and again talk with DH about getting a V or getting ready for more babies because with NFP and condoms... it WILL happen eventually.

You're not the only one responsible for this, probably just feeling so because you (secretly, guiltily) would be thrilled. If you're pregnant, your husband needs to be a big boy and address his feelings; this isn't the baby's fault. I can also offer you the reassurance that even parents who are not thrilled by another child end up LOVING it. I have several dear friends this has happened to. In fact, my dad had the perfect 2 child family until my mom got pregnant with me. He was not happy. But we are very close and if I do say so myself, I'm his favorite:-) But first things first -- take the HPT and see if any of this needs to be worried about! As much as you're fearing the test, it will be less stressful to know exactly what you are dealing with. Either way, I truly believe it will all work out in the end.

That sounds like us, minus the whole scuba diving. :) i have a 3 year old and a one year old and i wanted 3 kids, my husband did not but neither of us wanted surgery. So we were just on condoms or pull out method. Surprise! i got pregnant. I was nervous about telling him too. I didn't even tell him i was taking a test until i took the test and it was positive. He had always told me he wasn't ready for three but never said anything negative about me being pregnant. I am 20 weeks along now! It'll be fine. I am sure he is a great dad and will love this baby (if you are pregnant). Good luck and keep us updated!

Yep, baby #3 came out of no where. I swear I wasn't there! I was the one scared the whole pregnancy. I was fine with 2 boys. My husband was so excited when we found out #3 was a girl. Fast forward, she's 1 yr 4 months and brothers are 4 and turning 7. We love our family and each child amazes us. My older son is so attentive to his sister. My daughter wants to play guys, just like her brother. My middle boy, he lets little sister beat him up. Life is great and I feel like every thing will be fine. As long as we stay close and care about each other...that is what I don't want to ever loose! Congrats!

Bottom line -if he wants to be sure not to have more children, he needs to grow up and have a vasectomy! It takes two to tango, so if you're pregnant, you didn't get that way alone and he has no right to be angry at you. I hope you aren't and you get to go diving, but if you are he needs to make the best of it with you.

***AND NO -scuba diving is NOT okay when pregnant -you are playing with fire if you know you're pregnant and dive. Sure, plenty of women have been diving while early in pregnancy without knowing, and it's been okay, but the further along you are, the more complications can arise. The fetus does not have the same decompression abilities that you have. You will most likely have to sign a waiver before diving stating that you are not pregnant to your knowledge. Doctors and dive specialists advise against it.

Pardon my ignorance, but why would you not be able to scuba dive? You don't know if you are pregnant and even if you were, it is so early. Have a wonderful trip and good luck with your dilemma.

Yup - he has just as much responsibility in this as you. You, for medical reasons, cannot take hormone based birth control. If he didn't want a third, she should have taken the plunge and gotten snipped.

You weren't trying for a third, you were being careful, but if a third happens, it happens. He'll have to get used to it. If it's a condom baby, then for sure I would consider it "meant to be" and present it that way.