Managing with After School Activities - How Do You Do It?

Why would you agree to be PTA president if you work full time? That's nuts. I realize you may want to be involved, but like you said, there are only so many hours in the day, and like your full-time job.... that's not changing. I think the answer is very simple. Stop trying to do too much !!

I have never heard of kids not being allowed to do homework in the afterschool program, that's just strange. My kids attended two - one at the school and one at a daycare - both set aside time for kids to do homework.

My kids are 10 & 12 - play competitive and rec sports, do choir, and the older one plays in the band. We make it work. Homework in the car if necessary. We used to do spelling and math quizzes in the car when they were younger, made a game out of it, they loved it. Crockpot can be your friend. So can more frequent smaller meals. Have a healthy snack after school, pack a cooler with wraps, veggies, fruits, etc to snack on at/after practice. I feel for you with the late night practice/games. We didn't start having those till the kids were 10+. I would draw the line there, getting home after 9 on a school night is too much for 6 & 8 yo's.

Pick one activity per kid for after school - stick with the one activity rule at least till middle school.
They can switch out of something into something else but it has to be just one thing at a time per kid.
It would be cool if they were both in the same taekwondo class - it makes scheduling easier.
You don't HAVE to run yourself ragged and over book the kids.
People do - and I swear they do it so they have the 'pleasure' of being able to complain about how busy they are.
But things are only as insane as you allow them to be - and I have little patience with people who are complaining when they are self inflicting the situation on themselves and kids.
Yours are still young and could use some free unstructured play time.

You already use your crock pot - that's good.
Sandwiches home made or Subway - you have a degree of control how healthy to make them.
Cook up/make up casseroles and freeze them - they'll be easy to re-heat in a hurry.
Breakfast food for dinner - there's nothing wrong with scrambled eggs, pancakes or cereal for supper.

Taekwondo is a great after school activity.
It's flexible and not team oriented.
If you have a ton of home work, it's easy to skip a session every now and then to get the homework done.
Team sports are usually not something younger kids take to so try saving that stuff for when they are older.

Just do what you can per time and budget.

Once a kiddo gets into the higher grades, homework and projects, increases. I know many families, who starting from 4th grade, they did not get home until like 9:00pm. THEN their kids had to eat/bathe/do homework. And I personally knew many families, who's kids did not even get to bed like until midnight. Due to coming home late, then having to do homework. So then some kids did not finish homework, it was incomplete or not done or turned in, late. Teachers, do not make it easier for kids that have lots of extracurricular activities. Whats due is due. On deadline. My daughter, when she was in 4th, 5th grade, many of her classmates, were like that.

And, unless a kid is good at, or taught how to keep track of their assignments and time management with assignments... you need to do more than just a quick check of it. And this is more so, once a kid is in about 4th grade and higher. Work increases from that grade.
I also know many kids who go to after school care, and they do not necessarily get all, of their homework done there.
But SOME kids, do, because of their lack of time, do "learn" how to manage their homework load and get it done. But that also depends on age.

I have 2 kids. They are enrolled in activities/sports. But we only do what we/they can manage. To me, there is no point in having a kid SO busy and SO lacking in time... that their school work suffers. Or that school work becomes 2nd or 3rd in priority.
Personally, we only do, what we can. And IF we can even, get them to their various lessons, AT the start time of that class. ie: some activities, start at say 4:00. Well, how the heck can a parent even get off work BY that time, pick up their child, and get them there at 4:00? So in some cases it is just not doable. OR a grandparent or other parent gives their time, to take the kid(s) to their lessons/activities/extracurricular stuff.

We cannot possibly, enroll our kids in every single thing they want.
They also just need time, to be home and do family things. And time to just do nothing. That, is something important, for us. Personally.

And for friends that I know, who's kids are in so many activities, well they are on the road more often than they are at home, and yes... they eat dinner out. No time to come home, late, and cook. No time. They hardly cook and eat at home.

Anyway, just do what you can or cannot do per time and budget.
And per priorities.

ah, i remember well that crazy-busy part of life! a full-time working pair of parents with busy school-aged kids is a whirlwind of activities.
for the dinners, you need to set aside a few hours in the weekend to pre-prep. make and freeze a few dishes, and have a few others prepped and ready to go (pre-cooked beef or tofu for tacos with the veggies cut up and ready, for example.) menu and shopping planning are essential.
and don't be afraid to make cold cereal, tuna sandwiches and crackers with cheese your meal substitutes when you need to. sometimes a 'real' dinner just doesn't happen, and everyone will survive.
your kids need to get into the habit of doing homework at after-school, on the way to activities, and in spare moments. if that's not sufficient, you have to cut back on activities. it's a tough choice, but you have to be tough to get through this part of life!
the house is the bottom of your priority list, but you don't have to let it slide off the radar. on your rare precious free evenings, and for an hour or so on weekends, have everyone pitch in to do the essentials, and enjoy ice cream and a movie as a down-time reward. do not fall into the trap of feeling that as the parent it's your job to do it all, and that your kids are 'entitled to their childhood.' of course they are- and their childhood should include pitching into make their home habitable.
you've got the right priorities in place already. when things whirl out of control just come back to that.
you WILL miss it one day!
:D
khairete
S.

There's an app for that! I coach my 10 year olds soccer team and overheard some moms talking about the planning apps they use. I use a paper planner-but find myself saying "I have to check my planner (I don't carry it, because it's a monster). I try to plan my slow cooker days, and also do upside down (breakfast) dinner occasionally. It sounds like you're going to need to ge a little more creative with planning. The activities keep em out of trouble! I also do not sign them up for any activities that run past 7 pm. And try to ensure we have down time between activities for regular every day just being a kid!

Wow, supermom! PTA pres and Full time work? I am impressed. I think that will do you in next year more than your kid's activities.

My kids do a lot of activities and I work full time. At one point I had scouts, Religious Ed, softball, gymnastics, and ballet all going at once. Yeah, had to scale down there.

The house doesn't suffer much, because if you are at activities, then you aren't in your house messing it up. Dinnertime suffers though, and you really just have to lower your expectations for that. I enjoy cooking, baking, and trying new recipes... I really had to shift that to weekends only, and get comfortable with take-out one or even two nights mid-week. We also do sandwiches, soup and bread, all kinds of convenient foods (spaghetti and sauce, frozen garlic bread, bagged salad voila!)

Where is your husband in this, will he be helping make dinner and taking people to activities?

HW can sometimes be done on the go, if one has to wait at another's activity, out comes the homework. They are old enough, if you tell them to get it done in their after-school program, they will.

I also suggest lowering your expectations for house presentability... I clean on the weekends and try my best to keep it up, but by Friday we all know it aint gonna be as presentable as it was on Monday. As a working mom you probably already are used to that.

T.,

I was completely exhausted just by reading your post! I commend you on being such a devoted parent who who works full time and who doesn't want to take away from her kids' extra curricular activities! Being a full time working mother is very difficult, and again, I commend you! I couldn't hack it just working part-time, and thank God I am not working anymore (with 3 young kids).

With all of that said, I feel I need to burst your bubble a bit. You are not wonder woman and cannot do it all. You are going to burn so quickly, your head will spin. Since your full-time work status is not going to change, something's gotta go, which will have to be your PTA presidential election. Being the PTA President is a full time job in of itself. You MUST let that go and let a SAHM take the position. As far as cub scouts and girl scouts go - I would let that go, too! My son was in cub scouts, and it was a royal pain in our butts! It involved weekly den meetings and monthly pack meetings. It also involved some homework - yes, homework!! Cub scouts is taken very seriously here in Texas. It was way too much for my husband and I to handle. There was no way we were going to do cub scout homework when he had real school homework to do! And then there was the twice a year camp outs (in a tent - yuck)!! And don't forget going door to door with your son while he sells popcorn. And also don't forget going back to these home a couple months later to deliver the popcorn!! And same goes for the girl scout cookies!! It is a huge time consumer!!

Definitely opt for once a week activities, like gymnastics which is just once a week and involves no parent participation (like cub scouts and girl scouts do). With baseball, your son will have at least one practice a week and one game a week. Will you or your husband be able to take him to his practices and games?

Too much is not good for your kids! They need their own downtime, and shuffling them from school to after school care to extra curricular activities might be too much. Think long and hard before you decide to sign them for for activities that are very time consuming. Since you and your husband both work full time, weekend classes would be best. Maybe your son could do take a karate class and your daughter could take a gymnastics class every Saturday. This way, they will have nothing during the week, and you or your husband can pick them up from after care and take them home for a proper dinner, and then they can get started on their homework. You do not want them getting home late from an activity on a school night, starting their homework late, and then going to bed late. No good! They will most likely NOT do their homework at aftercare. They should be able to run around, play, and get some exercise. Besides, they may need your help with their homework, and not every staff member at after care will be able to help them. Also, if your kids ever get homework via the internet, that will obviously have to wait until they get home.

You have way too much on your plate, and overcrowding your childrens' lives will not be good for anyone. First point of business - quit your newly appointed PTA President position (do it now before it starts, so someone else can take it ASAP), and please remember that less is more. Good luck!

I promise I do not work for them in any way... Schwan's has been a huge asset for us! I was so hesitant to even try, because I focus on mainly organic in several areas plus my kids and I are semi-vegetarian (eat seafood). But they have a lot of great basics that turn into meals very easily. Sure, they have junk food options, but they also have some good healthy options. For example, they have a cheese tortellini with pesto dressing/sauce that is designed as a pasta salad. We do that over a bed of spinach and baby tomatoes. It takes about 10 minutes. Giving myself permission to look at some frozen options has really saved me a lot of stress. Best thing- they come to your house, you don't even have to go to the store. I would love to be making homemade pasta and eating nothing but organic, locally-sourced foods, but I also have to stay sane! You can do better than fast food without killing yourself, for sure :)

It's really hard to balance school and activities. I love it if my kids really want to do an activity and they love it. But I HATE the super busy evening with trying to get homework done, dinner, everything. Last year our son was in 4th grade and he had a LOT of homework. He had book reports. He had a lot to do almost every evening. He wanted to do basketball in the winter and I had to tell him no because it was taking him all evening to get his homework done. I let him do ski team because that was only on Saturdays. The two years before he did soccer and that was a lot of work and planning with 2 practices and one game a week. This year I let my daughter (4 yrs) take a dance class and then when that ended she did Kinderkick soccer. Both programs were short and she is too young to have homework, so that was easy. What I do is make the kids dinner at 4:30 or 5pm on nights where they have an activity. I know that sounds crazy, but if I let them have a snack and then do dinner afterwards it is just too late for them. AND they both would be prone to bad behavior/meltdowns. For some reason our kids just do much better with an early dinner. After soccer there is always someone bringing a snack for all the kids and that would ruin their dinner appetite anyway. Then we get home from their activity at about 6:30 or 7pm and maybe they take a bath before bedtime at 7:30/8. My daughter is usually asleep by 8. My son needs to be in bed reading by 8 or 8:30 and asleep by 9. Also, one way we handle this is to let each kid only do one activity at a time. It is still hard.

T. M. we have one child, he is 3, so I haven't yet walked a mile in your shoes. We both work though, and we keep on top of things by keeping it simple, and by automating.

1. we have and make use of a roomba and a scooba. (if the floors are clean the rest of the house stays cleaner).
2. we cook in bulk, we eat left overs, and we freeze in family sized portions.
3. we prep in bulk (if you are making 1 PB&J, you can easily make a full loaf of them, wrap in parchment and foil and freeze); chicken burritos (rice, beans, chicken, olives, cheese, sour cream, guac), roast beef, onions, pepperjack cheese and pimentos on frenchbread., just nuke and or sandwich press when ready to eat and it's faster thank parking at subway.
4. frozen veg are your friend for an easy side.
5. bagged salad is OK too.

Best,
F. B.

On the nights we don't have activities, we often cook a double dinner - enough for two nights. So we'll have leftovers the night we're out at baseball or scouts. When we can, we do homework a day or two in advance, or even on the weekend (we got our packets on Friday and they were due the following Friday). Otherwise, my son would have to do homework right after school, before going to his activities.

For us, weekday baseball games are always at 5:00, so they are done around 6:30 or 6:45. We go home, eat a quick dinner and then straight to the bath/shower. We definitely don't always cook a double meal. On those occasions, we either get fast food or we make something quick at home - frozen chicken patties or cans of soup with frozen veggies, etc.

I work full time with a nanny and haven't even taken a supporting role in the PTA nevermind President! Granted I'm a bit lazy but with younger kids, I felt my time was more important helping in the classroom where they will see me and know I care etc. It was also a bit more flexible and less time demanding. As someone said, being PTA president is almost a full time job itself... Wow. I commend your ambition but aside from some laziness on my part, I didn't want to take on something that took me away from the kids more than my job already did. Do you really want to work all day, have them in aftercare and then tell them you won't be home for dinner bc you have a PTA meeting?... I'm sure they're more than 1x a month when you're President. I've always insisted on being home for dinner and bedtime etc 99% of the time. But in general it comes down to priorities. For me a priority is a non stressed life so my kids have done lots of activities but we have a nanny who could help get them there and then I'm meet them. Otherwise we'd have skipped some. Scouts seems to vary btw as it's very low key for us so maybe yours will be the same. But I also would never want homework to become a big stress point at these ages bc they're too busy for it. Same with healthy meals. Not sure why dinner would be before activities btw... Ours were always done by 6:30ish so then we'd eat dinner after. People I know who use aftercare didn't have their kids in activities at these ages. The aftercare does offer some more fun, specialty classes and that had to suffice. As the kids got older, the families typically hired someone to take them to the activities. Aftercare and activities and then homework later seems like way too much. I don't know anyone who's done that. Sit down with a calendar and map out days and definitely leave room for the kids to just chill. Lots of people have their kids take a Saturday class. We do soccer on Sat's right now. Used to do gymnastics. That way the week isn't so overloaded. And look for something on a Friday afternoon so homework isn't an issue. Some people thrive on being crazy busy. If you do, then go for it. Make sure your kids are wired the same way though. And if not, just cut things out. Or hire someone part time...

Dear T.,

My kids are 8 and almost 4 (sigh!) and I work also. I am also on the board of a local organization, room mom and member of several other organizations.

I have no idea how active your PTA is but at my son's elementary school, the PTA president is almost always either a SAHM or a retired Dad (yes, we've had that!). It is pretty much a full time job.

Homework - my son has to get all or most of it done at aftercare. This is much more difficult with projects and reports that need to be done as many times they are meant to be done at home! Aftercare simply doesn't have the supplies or supervision/assistance needed for research reports.

Activities - we do religious education classes (one night a week), and one activity at a time. My sons have done soccer, baseball and swimming. We went to a Cub Scout meeting and decided it was too much of a time commitment.

Dinner - we crock pot at least 2-3 nights per week. We also plan one night that is left overs and if we don't have time to eat before our afterschool activity than it is either a cereal or sandwich night. Prepared fruit salads from the grocery store are my friend.

Baseball - my sore spot. We just finished our baseball season. We were told one practice (during a week night - usually 6:00 - 7:30pm and one game on the weekend). Then we had rain outs, etc and we had some weeks with practice on weekend, practice during week and two games during the week! It was crazy! We will not be doing this again next year! And yes, we had games on school nights that ended after 9pm, resulting in a bedtime just before 10!!!

You are right, first priority needs to be school and getting enough sleep. You need to set limits. Be an example, and set limits for yourself. I think you need a co-PTA president or a super wonderful VP.

Good luck! C.

Ah at first I thought hey how does this lady know my life. :):) Anyway I have two children (9 and 11) and they do scouts and my son is in baseball. I am also the new PTO President for next school year and I live 35 minutes from town and their school.
My hubby and I both work full time and my children are also in aftercare. They do their homework in aftercare so that is good.
On baseball nights (games end by 7 and we get home about 745) I pack a dinner for us. I usually make sandwichs, snacks and drinks. I put it all in a cooler and bring to work. I have also gone to subway.
I do the same thing on scout night and PTO night as well. ( i am lucky as PTO is once a month, girls scouts is once a month and boy scouts is twice a month)
Since I live where I can not just swing by home afterwork, I really have to make sure I am organized.
Good luck to you.

I agree with limiting them to 1 extra-curricular each for a few more years. Believe me, once they hit middle school it can really ramp up. Having down time is even more of a luxury than you realize--for you and for them.

When ours were those ages, our daughter didn't do any extracurriculars. Son did martial arts (2 nights/afternoons per week, plus the occasional weekend belt test). When daughter hit 2nd grade, she took piano (during/at school for 30 min 1 day per week). When she hit middle of 3rd grade, we had to find another teacher and it became an after school activity, and she began martial arts as well. She and son were NOT in the same classes b/c he had been doing it awhile and was in more advanced classes. So 2 hours after school during dinner hour twice per week for that. And son was in once per week Confirmation class as well (for 2 years)...
The next year, he started getting allergy shots (weekly after school) and the next year we did home/online school. WHEW!

They didn't like it. So back to public school and crazy hours.
These days, she does martial arts 2x per week (dinner time class), plus a piano class (just prior to the martial arts class--straight from piano to karate on Thursdays); and son wrestles (practice about 3 days a week after school until 5:30 pm during school in the OFF season--daily in the fall during the school season... and right now in the summer, 3 mornings per week) but has dropped his karate. Oh and the wrestling matches.. those are set up as tournaments and during the school season, it is every weekend. They arrive at school to get on the bus or weigh in as early as 6:00 a.m. for away matches, and 9:00 a.m for home ones. The tournaments last all day and sometimes into the night. Now (off season, summer) he just had a tournament that was 3:30 pm - 8:00 pm Friday night and back 9:00 a.m. Saturday morning until we left around 4:30 yesterday afternoon.
He is, however, signed up for driving school/class in preparation for getting his driver's license. Daughter is in STEM classes for another week (still catching the morning school bus at 6:55 a.m.).

It just doesn't ever slow down. So while they are still so young, and you can, I'd limit things somewhat.
As for meals and homework? Lots of that was done sitting in the car while a sibling was in class somewhere, or at the doctor's office in the waiting room prior to going to a karate class. And lots of fast food meals in the car, sorry to say. Husband works shift work and wasn't home for dinner, either, so it just kept things moving and allowed them to actually get showered/bathed and into bed by 9:00 or 9:30 (when they were 6 & 9). Now at 12 & 15, they stay up a little later (not that much though, since they now ride the school bus and they are up at 6:00 a.m), but they have a lot more homework/projects and need the computer to do much of their schoolwork, where before it was more paper/books and workbooks.
Good luck. Decide what your priority is going to be and work your plan.

Good luck.

It's normal for most activities like baseball to go until 8 or 8:30 but anything later than that would have to be occasional. They share the practice fields and are often scheduled at bad times. Games might run late due to overtime in either game, the 6pm one or the 7:30 one.

I refused to allow the kids to do homework in my child care business. It's the parents job to manage that. You would have no idea who was helping them and if they were stupid or had any idea what they were doing.

So no, do not have your kids do homework at the after school program. Plus they've been in school all day. They need that break for a little while. They other kids will be up playing and having fun and your kids will be sitting all by themselves watching the other kids and not getting anything done.

Most teachers are really starting to see the light too. Homework isn't needed for elementary school age kids. Lots of research is being done to find out why kids who have a lot of homework actually test lower than the kids that have none at all. Kids are supposed to learn by doing, having fun, playing games with the information. Sitting and doing it over and over doesn't make them learn it. They actually learn less. Kids need to play and experience things, they'll learn them so much better.

I could spell Czechoslovakia by the time I was 5 because driving by the Czechoslovakian Cemetery on SW 44th in OKC was fun. I would learn 2 or 3 new letters each time we went by. It was a game so I learned it quickly.

In most cases the scouts would be right after school. I guess if you're not taking it through the school then it could be at any time. Our school scouts are right after school.

I assume you work since the kids are in after school care. That means you get off work and go get them. They should have had snacks in child care. You should not have to feed them until you get home and have dinner. Unless you don't eat until 8pm every night...some families do that.

You can fix stuff on the weekends and have it cooked and ready to pop in the microwave. Your freezer can be your best friend. If you take it out of the freezer in the morning before you go to work then it won't take so long to heat all the way through

You'll likely be way more busy than the kids. PTA's tend to be a lot more demanding than people think. If you worked as an officer this past year you already know that though.

Just try and plan meals ahead and streamline your activities such as shopping and errands, put them on the weekend if possible.

.