Making Christmas Special... post-"Santa"

Updated on December 13, 2011
H.M. asks from Charlotte, NC
11 answers

Today after school, my nine year old son tells me that kids in his class are teasing him about still believing in Santa. Through further discussion... it sounds like he's the only one still believing. He looks at me and says..."Is Santa real or not? Yes or no?" and since we've been on this kick lately about being honest... he throws down the big one... "TELL THE TRUTH!"

I've been deflecting him for a couple of weeks... asking him what he thought, etc. I tried that again and he shrugged me off. I look down and he's grabbed my iphone and is in the process of googling "is santa real or fake".

I grabbed it back and then... i told him.

Just as I did with his older brother.... I explained that he is now a member of a very special group who's responsible for carrying on the the magic of Christmas and the wonder of Santa. He is sworn to uphold the promise keeping the Christmas spirit of faith, hope and giving alive.

And then came the tears.

And he was pretty choked up too.

:-p

He ran down all the classics... "Easter Rabbit? Tooth Fairy? The Great Pumpkin?"

And while he's a little sad, he seems to be doing okay with it.

My older son... my soon be 13-year-old... he's the one who's still moping around... more than usual.

He loved....LOVED... staying up and helping to play Santa while his brother slept upstairs. He helped lay out the milk and cookies, stack up the presents and fill the stockings. Taking part in the "adult" tradition of making Christmas special for the little one made him feel grown up and "in-the-know."

I'm racking my brain to try and figure out how to put the magic back in to our Christmas eve and morning.

Any ideas? What do you do to make it special... post Santa?

Due to distance from family, we spend our holidays together alone at home. My husband and i wanted our boys to wake up in their own beds and sneak downstairs to see what Santa had left them. On Christmas eve, we dress up... my boys put on good shirts and ties and I put on a pretty dress. We have fancy hors d'oeuvres in front of our fireplace. and we light our German Christmas pyramids. We eventually eat a nice meal of oyster stew (my family tradition). After that we bundle up and walk through our neighborhood and look at all the Christmas lights... the neighborhood goes all out! It's beautiful and it always helps to walk off all that food we'd just consumed.

Christmas morning... the boys would wake up at the crack of dawn and we'd open gifts.

I plan to still keep up those traditions... but what can i add to make it ... magical... again?

thanks in advance!

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So What Happened?

many thanks to all who gave me wonderful advice. i plan on keeping up with our current traditions... everything i posted above and the activities that i didn't post... we make cookies and decorate them for santa, we make gingerbread houses, and we participate in various charitable holiday opportunities that are at church, our school and in our neighborhood... all three do "giving trees". what i may add is "adopting" and entire family... so it's more personal and direct. thanks again!

More Answers

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

I am SO sorry!

My older son was an "old man" in a little boy's body. My FIL said that the best thing that ever happened to him was having a little brother! LOL!

That being said, because of my older son's temperment, I am surprised that he didn't do the same thing your son did, demanding to know "the truth". He did ask if there was no Santa, and I told him what my MIL used to tell my husband and his siblings - if there is no Santa, then there will be no gifts under the tree from SC. Boy, did THAT squash questions about Santa's existence after that! In addition, when the Polar Express book came out, I would read that book to my kids, and even put a bell on the frig, asking them if they could hear the bell as I rang it. I've never had to answer the question about Santa with my kids and they are older teens.

We STILL leave milk, cookies, and carrots out for Santa and Rudolph. Someone puts on the santa hat in the morning after devotions to hand out the presents. I STILL have a few gifts that say "from SC" on gifts under the tree. There are very few gifts under the tree until the boys go to bed on Christmas Eve. These are traditions we will continue as long as we have someone spending the night in our house on Christmas Eve. They like seeing the gifts "Santa brought down the chimney" during the night when they come downstairs on Christmas morning. Please try to keep all of your traditions alive. You are the mother - they are the children. Keep doing the tooth fairy, Easter bunny, all of it.

Just because they are dealing with a disappointment right now doesn't mean that when they are older, that they won't find comfort in your traditions later on. And it is a tradition that YOU need.

And if they still give you trouble, try my and my MIL's strategy. Look him straight in the face and say "Santa is important to me. I daresay that he is important to you too. If you keep reminding me that there is no Santa, there will be SC presents MISSING from under the tree." That should take care of it.

Smiles to you, and enjoy that wonderful oyster stew. I'm thinking I might get that tradition on my table next month!!

Dawn

3 moms found this helpful

M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

I posted a few questions about this too. One of the girls that insisted on telling my daughter Santa is not real also decided to tell my 4 year old today. I was SO upset with her.

I just told her that some people believe in Santa and others don't. One way is not right or wrong, but Santa is magic and in our home we DO believe in him.

That's what I told my daughter too - and it's what I believe in. Santa is "magic" while it is not him and little elves putting the gifts under our tree, it is still part of what makes Christmas morning so fun. Santa still goes to my parents house for me :).

I know my parents never stopped with the Santa gifts, and never really changed anything. So even once we "knew," everything was still the same.

3 moms found this helpful
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P.K.

answers from New York on

Those words never crossed my lips. You see, as a grandmother and 61 year old woman, I still believe. Yes, I do. An editorial written back around
1900 was to a little girl, Virginia. It was titled "Yes, Virginia There Is A Santa
Claus." Maybe read it to your boys. Oh too, I have Christmas Eve at my
house. When everyone leaves, I get dressed and hit the road. The look
on the littles ones faces when they see me (Santa) go by their back door
or knock on their front door is priceless. I also carry a bag of goodies for
the kids. Have a Merry Christmas. P.S. I just went back and read "Yes,
Virginia There Is A Santa Claus." I think if you read it to your boys, you
might just get them rethinking no Santa.

3 moms found this helpful
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E.B.

answers from Beaumont on

Be a Santa for a needy family and surprise them with groceries and presents?? You could get names/needs from your church. We have a Christian radio station near us that does a HUGE job of matching Santa's with needy families. Now THAT would be cool.... BTW-love your traditions, they sound beautiful!

3 moms found this helpful
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M.L.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Let each of you be Santa to each other. Get little gifts (even gag gifts) and fill up the stockings anyhow. It will just be a different sort of surprise. That's what I call "playing the Santa Claus game."

Tell your children about St. Nicholas, renowned for centuries for his kindness and generosity to others - generosity done in secret. With a little persistence you should be able to find people who could use a little Santa love next year. It might be a family, it might be a child your kids meet... who knows? Keep your eyes and ears open. If Santa teaches your children about caring, he's done a great deal.

2 moms found this helpful
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G.W.

answers from Chattanooga on

Along the same idea as the adopting a family...
I read once about a family who would choose a needy family (not necessarily financially needy, could be someone newly divorced, widowed, or whatever, but in your case one with little kids might fit the bill) and do a kind of "12 days of Christmas" thing. Every day for the 12 days preceding Christmas, they'd leave something (gifts, toys, food, different stuff every night) on the porch, ring the bell, and run away. On Christmas Eve, they left fixings for a nice Christmas dinner. She said that a big part of the fun was trying to keep it a secret from the chosen family. By the third night or so, they had to be really creative to avoid getting caught. My kids are toddlers, so they're far too small to try something so involved, but I thought it sounded like a really wonderful idea. Maybe that would bring some of the magic and fun back for both of your boys?

2 moms found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

Why don't you give them a chance to share the magic of the Christmas season with others? Pick out angels to sponsor and help the boys pick out the presents and deliver them back to the sponsoring agency--or ask if you can "adopt" a family that needs help and figure out how to surprise them! How about adding a baking session or a candy making session prior to the holidays and then sharing those goodies with friends and neighbors. Also you might want to find a local church and participate in some of their Christmas services. Just a few thoughts! Hope you all have a wonderful Christmas and many blessings in the New Year!

2 moms found this helpful
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A.P.

answers from Janesville-Beloit on

It sounds like you make the holidays so special for your kiddos! I don't have any specific suggestions for at home, but I'm wondering if your kids would enjoy helping make the holiday special for some other kids? At our local mall we have a "giving tree" where local agenices can hang requests that are child specific (for example, an 8-year-old who wants a football, 2 t-shirts and a chapter book). You take the tag off the tree and then return it with the gifts. This is just one example, you could probably find something more personal, but you get the idea. Maybe they would get into some kind of giving like this, in addition to your at-home traditions? Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful
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U.M.

answers from Fayetteville on

I would suggest to look for The Autobiography of Santa Claus as told to Jeff Guinn. It is a book, but also available as audio book. It is in 24 chapters, and while my kids were still at home we listened to it as a family, one chapter at a time, all through advent.

It is a great history of the origins of what we in the US know as Santa Claus, you learn about how he is known and celebrated in other parts of the world, it weaves in all kinds of world history, as well as the history and background of various Christmas traditions. While it has true historic events, it also contains enough magic to make it special and magical.
And it would allow him and your whole family to hold on to the magic of it, while realizing and knowing at the same time that he is a legend, born out of a real person.

I think any kid that is old enough to start questioning Santa Claus will be old enough to listen to this story, and get something out of it, as will older kids, as well as the adults.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.M.

answers from New York on

My girls are 15 and 16. I still play up Santa. I have them write letters. We leave out cookies and milk. I put the few presents that our not from Santa under the tree, and Santa brings the presents on Christmas eve after they've gone to bed. Santa may not be real, but the spirit of Santa is very real.

1 mom found this helpful

V.N.

answers from Huntington on

Wow, I just want to say first off I'm so jealous of your families traditions :) and your family, you sound so close and loving and sound like you have such a great time. I'm just happy if I get to see half of my family ever during the year, especially around Christmas now. So good for you for having such a great family connection and wanting to keep it going as long as you can, that's really something great to cherish and I wish I still had that with my family. I do have a couple things that my husband and son and I do, but nothing like that. Anyway, as to ways to keep it going, I think you've done an excellent job so far and don't really know how you could top it, just keeping the same traditions going and showing your kids that it's important to keep things like that going throughout a family is important is a great thing. but maybe you could sit down with your boys and ask them if there is a new tradition they would like to start..maybe baking cookies on christmas eve and delivering them to neighbors, nursing homes..getting a few small trees and decorating them with ornaments you've all made together, and give them to local businesses or neighbors and someone who is less fortunate and can't afford a tree, or someone who just looks like they could use some holiday spirit and decorations. Obviously you all can talk openly and honestly, so maybe sitting down asking them what tradition they would like to start would be a great way to keep the openness going, showing that you care about their feelings on your fun and traditions during the holidays. Have a great Holiday, and keep that spirit alive, you've done such a great job so far!

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