Making a Shower Special, W/ Very Little Attendees

I'd say to have a nice cozy dinner with her favorite foods and drinks. As for contacting the family via Facebook, well, I would ask the husband if he thought it would be a good idea, and if so, perhaps he'd be comfortable to do that part? He would also be the one to help decide on what foods to serve if you don't really know and while at it, he can tell you if it's a good idea at all.

I think you're a very good friend, and it's nice that she has someone with whom to celebrate such a lovely event in her life!

I would just keep it to those people. ie: you, her friend, her, and the Husbands.
You don't know her family or what relationship she has with them.
I would not contact them via Facebook.
Ya never know, what a family's dynamics are. And it could be nice or not.
You don't know.
So I wouldn't even contact, her family. And you don't know who she likes or not in her family or who she has problems with or not etc. or clashes with who or not, etc.

And to ME, it seems like it would be a really nice intimate shower, for her, with just you all. AND the men can attend too. With my baby showers, all the Men attended too, and they really enjoyed it.
Remember, that the memories and quality of a baby shower, is NOT contingent upon the number of guests nor the size of the party.
And to me, if it is a small intimate baby shower, you can perhaps "spend" more on special decorations or gifts or mementos, for her, from ALL of you.
www.etsy.com is a great place to get nice "Mommy" jewelry. Maybe you can all get her a nice Mommy pendant/chain etc.
A nice photo album, etc.

When I was pregnant, my best friends, who lived far away, threw me a "mail in" shower. They had sent out invitations and had my friends and family send me presents. They all were supposed to mail them on a certain day, and because we were all scattered, I was receiving presents for about a week. It was amazing and unexpected, since they didn't tell me ahead of time that they were throwing it, collaborating with each other and my aunt for a guest list.

I would just take her out to lunch or dinner with the two other friends and give her your gifts. It really isn't a party with only 4 people. You could consider a couples shower however and that would give you 8 people assuming the other women have SOs.
I think it would be tacky to tell others to send gifts although you could ask them to send well wishes or tips and tricks for dealing with 2 kids etc. then put together a little book with everyone wishes or advice.

if you take the 'shower' aspect out of it, it's easy.
presumably her family and FB friends know she's pregnant and will or won't send her gifts accordingly. i wouldn't go that route.
i'd just get the other two gals together and plan a lovely afternoon for your friend. take her to a spa, or a traditional afternoon tea, or a dinner theater. if you get gifts, give them to her as you part ways, so it doesn't feel so.....showery. providing lots of presents for her to open is far less important than helping her celebrate this exciting time and making sure she feels loved and supported. and you probably couldn't do something as interesting and fun if there were 2 dozen women attending!
you're a good friend.
:) khairete
S.

I would take her out for lunch or dinner. How about treating her to a mani or pedi before or if you have one of those pottery painting places you guys can go paint something before and she can have those for the baby. Those painting places would also be fun(painting with a twist here locally). They last about two or three hours and you can bring your own appetizers and drinks.

When I was pregnant I was a very recent transplant too, and I had two minimal showers. One was with my colleagues at work: they just took me out to lunch at a nice restaurant and gave gifts. And my mom threw a family shower, which basically consisted of her, my aunt, and my brother and SIL. It was at her apartment -- she cooked a nice dinner, but nothing out of the ordinary. I much, much, much preferred this to anything big and fancy. Certainly don't feel like I missed out.

For my baby shower, I only had close family and my sister and cousin planned it. We didn't have many people there but if your throwing her a shower.. Well sprinkle, just enjoy the company of one another. I'm sure she will be happy knowing that she has a great friend who cares so much about her.. I personally don't think it would be weird to contact her family, that would actually be nice because maybe they could surprise her by showing up. You are an amazing friend and congratulations on your friends baby. Just enjoy each others company and have fun.. Its about the celebration of her and her husband having a baby, not how many people are there.

A lot of my best friends who lived far away (we had just moved to Juneau) wanted to participate in my shower. My good friend had also just moved there. She enlisted them to mail gifts and to mail a baby photo of themselves along with a recent photo. (This was easy for her to do bc we were grad school friends and she knew most of these far away women friends...so she totally surprised me) She decorated this poster board with all the photos and you had to guess who was each baby. I had the women there and their gifts to open AND I had gifts from far away friends to open.

Do you know how she feels? Not everyone wants a shower. I didn't. And this is her second child. I would have found it fun to go out to dinner or lunch though. I assume family and old friends gave her baby gifts for number one and will do so again for number two if that's the type of people they are. I think asking them to mail ahead when you don't know them is a bit much. She has to have some of the basics already and it doesn't sound like she's in need as a single mom or something. So don't make it about gifts. Not everyone is focused on gifts for themselves. Just do a fun outing.

I would say dinner/lunch out would be a good way to go here.

Since it's her second baby, and there would be so few people attending, I would not do a shower. Instead I would take her for a spa day and out to lunch or dinner. Most pregnant ladies LOVE pedicures. You can make it a very happy and special day with just you and her. Tell her you're going to treat her and all she needs to do is relax and enjoy!

Does she have a favorite restaurant? Just have dinner and bring her gifts. Keep it simple, but make it special.

Yes, let the family know you are doing this. It will be the perfect time for them to pitch in and help with some of the baby needs, if they can. No need to tell them to send a gift, with all hopes, they will.

This is crazy you posted this!

My older sister lives 8 hours away, moved there 1.5 years ago, doesn't know too many people (maybe 10 she could invite to a shower) and she is pregnant with her first now. It's no fun trying to plan when we can go down and host for her. It should be, but it's expensive and this is an expensive time of year - but we want to make it happen for her and be special, same as you.

So...I think with a small party like that, I'd do an intimate affair. A nice local restaurant that had a private room maybe - or a tea shop...we have a few that areagreat for close get togethers.

I think her family would want to come (if possible) but send gifts for sure.

That's SO nice of you to host for her and I wish you were my sister's friend - so I could just come and enjoy since I have to spend about $600 just to be there for a few days.

I would celebrate the small group of women and go somewhere....possibly a mani/pedi/facial/casino/etc. day followed by dinner and gifts. An outing that may cost a bit more than you would normally spend, but it is in celebration of the new baby/mom and will be more affordable since it is a small group of people.

I agree, go somewhere special, or even a movie in ... maybe 'What to Expect' on Demand?, or a girls night!

Anything you do where the focus is on her, will be fine and special.

She really knows no one? No friends that live next door or that she goes to the store with? No one? That's really sad.

I'd like to think she really doesn't sit at home all day and not do anything like play groups or the library or something. Surely she has some acquaintances. I'd invite everyone she knows even slightly.

I would contact a few of her facebook friends and ask them if they are close enough to attend or if they know any friends or family members who live close. Tell them it's a surprise so please don't tell the expentant mom.

Does she work outside the home or belong to a church or a meet-up group? Any of the people from these groups might want to attend as well as any neighbors.

I like the idea that many have posted to either take her out to dinner but if cost is a consideration, why not prepare a nice dinner at your house and invite her and include all the husbands as well. I think that would be much nicer than just having such a small shower. The gifts could be presented to her after dinner.

I have found that someone tends to always be a no show. Invite the next door neighbors and she can then have the potential to meet new friends. Its too sad to have few pals there.

Contact her facebook family and friends. Some maybe able to attend and will probably be happy that you are having a shower for her. Your friend is lucky to have a good friend like you. Happy planning.

I would contact her friends and family (maybe enlist her hubby's help for contact info because if you contact via FB they may not see unless they are already friends with you).

Don't just asked if they want to send presents, but actually invite them. If you are trying to surprise her, make sure they know that and let them know if they can't make it but want to send a present they should send it to your address and you will get it to the shower on time.

Aside from that, with such a small guest list, why not make it a co-ed shower (like a small dinner party)?

Sometimes people don't realize how many people care about them.

I find it hard to believe that in the last state she lived in she had NO friends, and in her current state she only has TWO friends. I bet she has a bunch of people who consider her a friend and she just doesn't recognize the friendship!!

Talk to her. Find out how she feels about having a shower/sprinkle, and then ask her about ANYONE she knows (other moms from first child's play dates etc). There might be some hidden "friends" to invite!

I guess I don't understand why the family wouldn't be throwing a shower no matter how far she lived, ( maybe more so with the first child).

I have driven 8 hrs for my hubs bros wife's shower ( my sil)

so if they aren't interested in the effort to visit, then I wouldn't bother asking for gifts.

if family will visit after the baby you could host a meet the baby party.

I'd make a reservation at a nice restaurant and make sure to talk to all the guests personally before you pick a day/time to make sure everyone can attend. With so little people, one missing is a big deal.

I'd be tactful when talking to them ~ say things like, just getting a few of us together to help her celebrate, or something like that so it sounds like they are specially invited, instead of the only options.

Maybe try to coordinate the gifts so each guest is getting a different type thing that way it will seem like more - maybe one does clothes, one does bath stuff, one does a single gift that is a little pricier etc. But I'm type A so I like to over think and plan stuff.

I wouldn't send anything through FB, but I'm not a huge FB fan anyway so that's just me. I don't think it would be tactful to say on FB, send a gift to the party that you are not invited to. You won't get anyone to participate and it will make it worse because now you've put it out there for everyone's consumption.

My best friend threw my first shower. It was her and my 3 other great friends. I am a transplant here so that's everyone. It was special because my friends were there and that's what mattered the most. Now I did not get very many gifts so we had to buy most stuff ourselves but it is what it is. I get a little jealous when I see some showers where the parents get everything they want but then again they also get a bunch of stuff they don't want also. LOL

My same great friends threw my sprinkle at a restaurant for brunch. Loved it and we had a great time sipping coffee and chatting after our meal.

Special is friends, not how big it is - she will love it!!

Ask husband to give you family contacts. She must have some neighbors, other people with little kids. If you only have a few people, just take her out to lunch and give her gifts then. Rather than getting anything big, I would do lots of little things so she has some fun opening her gifts.