I am kind of in a funk and wondering if this is just a normal progression in my life. I still have 10 pounds of baby weight to lose and our daughter is two years old-Ugh! I have gone from dressing like I just stepped out of a catalog to looking really thrown together most of the time. I left my role as a partner in a law firm to stay at home. I still do a little legal work on the side but not much. I have always been quiet and get along with others but most of my relationships are what I would call buddy relationships which never really took the next step to being friendships where we did much together outside of work hours. Is this normal? My husband told me that I needed some "me" time the other day and suggested I should go out to lunch with a friend. I couldn't find one - How sad it that?!
Don't get me wrong - I know I am fortunate. I have a great husband and a wonderful daughter, and I know that I am lucky to be able to be a SAHM. I just am concerned that I am doing something wrong socially. I am even more concerned that my lack of social skills are going to impact our daughter.
I would definitely suggest joining a playgroup on meetup.com. We belong to a couple of them and the moms are great. Fun way to meet friends for you and your daughter.
I have a suggestion for you. I was in a funk after the birth of my first son until I joined a fitness group called Stroller Strides. Once I started working out with other moms, I also go involved with the mom's group, going to playdates, and mom's nights out. It really gave me something to look forward to and also new friendships with people that are in the same boat as me. I love our group. So, please feel free to join us! You don't have to be a member of Stroller Strides to come to our mom's events. Here is a link to our group: http://www.meetup.com/mckinneystrollerstrides/
M. L -
Wow - sounds like you are pretty amazing to me! You had and will fall back on forever - a great career. You have chosen to be a mom - and right now - especially in todays times - that is a great blessing to give! "Me time" is always important!!!! My time was always having my nails look good! It's been ages since I did that - then one day realized like you....I have no life...no true friends...and nothing seems to make me feel important... This is of a general summary of the MANY emotions that come with our situations....
Join a local early childhood PTA - that is a good place to start - it atleast gives you some time to socialize - and the sweet pea kiddo interaction. The rest will come....just be patient...and if you pray....do that - lots of that! ;)
Oh - and the weight thing....I have about 40 pounds...that has stayed with me since he was born....he's 4 1/2 - want to talk about sad!!!!!
Good luck....and don't worry you're doing the right thing - for the right reasons - it'll work out just fine....be patient with yourself....
If you substitute my previous career in media for yours in law, I could have written that exact same thing, right down to the 10 lbs! I have a closet full of clothes that don't fit and even if they did, I'd never have the occasion to wear them ;) I am the same way as you are with friends. I have a handful from my local mom's group that I get together with for play dates or that I know I can call on in emergencies, but I don't have anyone I can really call a best friend or someone I really feel I can call to hang out with sans kids. Don't think you have a "lack of social skills" though. Some people are just much more reserved than others. There isn't anything wrong with that. I wish I could give you advice on making friends, just as I wish I could do it myself - but I just want you to know you are not alone. Try joining a mom's group to meet people. At least you know you'll have your kids in common, and it will help your daughter to learn to socialize. My son is pretty quiet too, but his play groups do help. I also send him to MDO twice a week to help him be more independent. I am very happy that he is making friends there without any help from M.! I also joined a morning boot camp class, which is another good way for me to meet people. Good luck, and if you ever want to meet up at a mall or something, message me!
