Love, Time, Grief, Kids, and Other Things That Suck

Theresa, *thank you* for this post. It's just what I needed to hear. Agony as an opportunity; pain and loss as a means of choice and freedom and growth and togetherness.

Yes. I learn so much about grace and beauty from my children. I learn about hope and healing and Love, Love, Love.

Today, I got to learn it from you.

Big hugs. Hope you're getting a chance to grieve. Being a cry baby is actually kind of awesome (says the woman who's just learning to cry ;-) I am deeply sorry for your loss, AND really awed by your spirit.

I'm sorry T, this choked me up. My mom didn't tell me until AFTER the fact when I was 38 that she put down one of her cats that I was close too, I think I cried for 3 days straight and at times was near hysterics! So I totally understand. Hugs to you and your family!!!

My kids have helped me be more patient with them. It is not one of my strong points. I have a quick temper and I am now getting to the point where I try to take a breather before I address something with them. To speak to them calmly and with a calm voice. My daughter is extremely sensitive and gets her feelings hurt over the slightest disagreement so it is a work in progress but I have really learned that from them.

Theresa...I'm so sorry to hear about your fur baby! We lost our Leena bear (husky/lab mix) almost two years ago. We still miss her terribly! I still catch myself when asking someone to dog sit for us if they will dog sit "the dogs"...and then I rephrase "sorry I meant JUST Abby".

It's ok to cry over your loss, we cried and cried as a family! And separately as well.

Lesson learned from my daughter: is I CAN really do anything I put my mind to. She backed me into a corner a year ago when she said "My mom will be a Daisy leader"...I would have said "NO WAY, NO HOW, I cannot work with kindergartners"....

We are heading into year two in two weeks...and I'm full steam ahead and couldn't be more proud of myself...and of my daughter who had more faith in me than I had in myself.

I am crying reading this. I am sorry for your loss. My kids teach me lessons about love, acceptance, and tolerance every day, and I hope I am teaching them the same :)

Blessed Be

I'm sorry Theresa, I know how much it hurts. Big hugs from me to you.

I love your open-hearted summary of your situation, Theresa. I'm so sorry about the grief you're feeling, and know personally how hard it is to let go of our furry family members when their lives are over. The great news is, we never have to let go of how much they mean to us. (Yup, I have a few tears going right now myself.)

I learned so much about life and love from raising my daughter – almost everything I know, in fact. My own upbringing was painfully dysfunctional, and learning to parent a new way was incredibly healing for me. I don't take credit for making her the awesome young mother she is, beyond being aware of how broken I was as a child and vowing not to do that to my own child. I did a great deal of research on parenting before I became a mother to help keep that promise to my future child.

I wish you the best.

My kids and I have our heart-to-hearts a bedtime. The other night my little one, 11-years-old, funny, creative and anxious, was wondering outloud why there seem to be some people who never do anything good, who are just throughly bad. After thinking about this for a while, I responded that I thought it was impossible for a person to do nothing good during a lifetime, just like it is impossible for us never to do a bad thing, and even if they are not aware of having done good or do it accidentally, it is still good. My reward was a tearful smile and a hug as my daughter sighed in my ear: "I HAVE taught you something after all." And she has. The world is a much brighter place with her in it.

As to what I've done to make both my kids so wonderful: Tried to take them as they are and teach empathy by example. I don't care what anyone says about the generation coming up right now. They are wonderful, caring people who are going to make the world a better place.

Hi Theresa-

I am so very sorry to hear about your beloved golden...

My 'maggie' had to be put to sleep at 12 years old. She was an amazing golden as well. The kids still speak of her fondly (the 'maggie' football games...they would throw the ball...she would get it...they would tackle her!! lol). She also had a 'sense' that shannon was fragile when shannon finally came home from the hospital. Shannon (after just over 3 years in a hospital) was PETRIFIED of this HUGE furry 'thing'...but maggie merely bided her time...watching shannon from a far corner of the family room...over time...slowly inching closer...til they became fast friends. Maggie became one of shannon's 'pillow supports' as we struggled to get her to sit on her own...

Anyway...we all miss maggie to this day...and have SO many fond memories...as you will too. At some point, remembering will no longer bring tears...but smiles and laughter!

My kids have taught ME so many things...unconditional love...patience...tenacious will to LIVE (particularly with shannon).

All I have 'done' really is to have been (and BE) blessed to be a part of their lives...

They all (kids...and the dog...lol) have given ME so much more than I have given them...truly..

Cyber Hugs!!
Michele/cat

Sorry about your dog! Putting down a pet is one of the most heartbreaking things we ever have to do. Be proud that your kids learned such grwat life lessons with that wonderful dog!

aaaaaawww babycakes!! i'm sooo sorry for your loss!!! I know how you feel!! We put Obi down December 8 and our kids didn't know life without him...

I don't know if I've learned anything from my kids lately that I see them any differently - they are both unique individuals who bring a LOT of joy and stress to my life....but the latter I would not want to do without....

Sorry about your puppy dog!!!

I am sooooo sorry for your loss. Pets really are members of family. I don't care what anyone says. They are our constant companions, always ready to give and show us unconditional love.

Cheers to you - your kids are the way they are because of the choices you made while (and still) raising them.

May your days be filled with sweet memories of your beloved pet. Take care.

Oh Theresa, I am so sorry to hear about your beloved pet. I am in tears just reading this.
You have done an amazing job with your kiddos! It is clear in how they are handling such a harsh reality of life.
My Daisy is 8 and has lupus. We know one day soon we will have to put her down and I fight back tears every day b/c of it. My boys adore her and she thinks they walk on water :) kids and dogs just go together!
You and your family are in my prayers ~ asking God to give you all you need. Strength. Peace. Understanding.

My boys teach me every day to see the best in every situation ~ there is a silver lining and my boys WILL and DO find it :) I am slowly learning how to do that.

I can't imagine having a dog for 11 years and putting them down.

We had a puppy for only 15 months and had to put him down in December due to cancer. 8 months later I still cry thinking about him.

Prayers to you and your family.

Awwww, Theresa..... :(

We too lost our 11 year old doggy the same day you put yours down.

I agree with what you're saying. Our son didn't know life without this dog.

Sucks on so many levels.

I heard someone say once, when asked why dogs don't live as long as people, that it's because dogs learn how to live, and love faster than humans. I like that.

I am so sorry for your loss. I know how hard it is when you loose a 4 legged child! The amount of wisdom we learn from dogs is so great! I always said there's a reason why Dog is God spelled backwards! I am glad you, and your children have had such a wonderful experience. I'm sure (s)he will hold a special place in all your hearts!