Lots of Questions Recently About Having Another Baby So Here Is Mine

Updated on September 14, 2010
L.K. asks from Austin, TX
11 answers

So, I think my family is pretty perfect but I am thinking about one more. However, I worry that I am testing fate so to speak. We have three daughters. Ages 14, 5, and 4 months. When I was pregnant with #3 I kept saying this was it. No more. But then she was born and I am just loving having a baby around and now I am not so sure I am ready to close the pregnancy/baby chapter of my life. My girls are so awesome and there are a lot of strange similarities. And this is where the fate part comes in so if anyone believes in weird number things etc. let me know.

My girls were born on Friday, Saturday and Sunday.
They are each two months apart. Birthdays are December 16th, February 13th, and April 16th.
Birth years are 1995, 2005, and 2010.
Oldest has a dimple on her left cheek, middle one has a dimple on each side, youngest has a dimple on the right cheek.

So I am wondering if we have another one if that would throw a monkey wrench into the so called system we have. I would actually love another girl and statistically that is probably what we would have. Or, should we just stop now and be content with the three perfect girls we have? Thoughts? Or am I just doing way too much thinking on this?

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So What Happened?

One thing I forgot to mention is that if we do have a 4th I don't want to wait five years. I would like to have it when the 3rd is around 2 years old. Mainly because my oldest is growing up and I don't want there to be 20 years between the first and last and I don't want to be raising children for the rest of my life. I am 33 now so that would put me at 35 and they would all be grown by the time I was in my 50's. And my husband and I could then have time together. And my kids are far apart and I think it would be neat to experience two siblings closer in age.

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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

Are you prepared to have a boy born in a year not divisible by 5 and with no dimples ;-) Seriously though -you may have a boy! Plus, I would wait until the 4 month old is 2 and running around, having tantrums, etc. I think between 4 or 5 months and 18 months we almost all experience a strong desire to have another baby because they're so sweet we don't want that "baby" experience to end! Wait until you have a 16 year old girl wanting to drive everywhere and go out with boys and friends every night and an elementary girl with elementary activities and fast approaching "tweendom" AND a toddler before deciding if you really do want another! And, you also have to realize that if you have another, when that one is a baby, you'll be thinking "Hmmmm, I don't want this baby stage to end, should I have another?" You have to stop sometime!

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

It's fun to notice the numbers but it's not a reason to have or not to have another baby. That decision has to be based on whether or not another child is right for your family taking into consideration your energy and finances to care for another child.

I also suggest that with your youngest being just 4 months old it's too soon to make this decision. You don't yet have enough experience with her in your family to know how she will fit over the long run. Also, your hormones haven't yet settled down. The way you're thinking can be very much influenced by hormones and your ability to think realistically about the whole picture of children in your family.

You have asked a good question? How would you feel if the next one broke the pattern? Sounds like continuing the pattern is what is driving you to want another one. I suggest that you stop thinking about having another baby, for now, and enjoy the three perfect daughters you have. Time will tell if you actually want another baby or if you're in love with the numbers. You don't need to make a decision now.

You are doing way too much thinking on this. Fun to think about, I know. I'm fascinated by the numbers. I do believe in serendipity. What these numbers mean is up for interpretation. Perhaps they're telling you to stop because the odds about having a fourth fit the pattern are very high against it happening. And what would the pattern be? Ten years between 1 and 2. Fifteen years between 1 and 3. Five years between 2 and 3. Would that be 20 years between 1 and 4 and 5 years again between 3 and 4? You'll be 5 years older. Your oldest will be 20. Whoops! I'm now over thinking. lol

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C.V.

answers from Los Angeles on

Yes I think you're doing too much thinking I don't think the numbers are anything but a coincidence. And dimples might run in the family! If you want to have another one, you should, but I don't think it would mess up any 'system'.

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J.W.

answers from Dallas on

Would it all work out mathematically the same, would she follow the family trends? Who knows. If she didn't would it bother her, probably not. Could she totally throw you off and be a boy? Yep. My rule, when you look at your family picture is it complete or is there something missing? My entire 3rd pregnancy I swore that was it NEVER again. 1 week to the day later, "That wasn't so bad, I could do it again." When we had number 4 there was no question. We were done there was a complete feeling. There was no more hole. I say as long as you are on the fence leave the door open.

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R.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

The numbers thing is kind of cool. My older brother was born on the 21st, I was the 23rd, and my younger brother was the 22nd. Different months, but I always thought it was cool that we were 21, 22, 23. Born in 75, 77, 79.

If you have a 4th, maybe he/she will be born on June 13, 2015! :) That's a Saturday...so you can just say they're all born during the "weekend."

My husband is one of 5 kids. The oldest was 20 when the youngest was born. However, technically, my husband and his next brother are 4 years apart. But they tell everyone they are all 5 years apart anyway. So, basically, even if the 4th doesn't fit exactly, there will probably be some pattern they'll come up with to make it all come together.

In any case, do what feels right to you. If you're meant to have the 4th, it'll happen. :)

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E.B.

answers from Houston on

Overthinking it. My first was born 1-13 and my second was 9-11 and my third was actually induced on 1-19. I thought it was cute that they would all have two ones in their birthdays and the youngest two, both girls, would have the same numbers but just reversed. Except the third didn't come when she was induced and actually showed up a week later on 1-26 - which is also special in that she is 13 days past her brother's 1-13 birthday. You can find the coincidences wherever you want. All three of mine were also born on Mondays-the first two naturally and the third induced.
So you've got sisters that have facial similarities-not unusual there. They are siblings - there should be resemblances along with variations. I don't really think you have a real "system" to throw a monkey wrench into. Wait until that baby is a bit older and see how you feel. I think it is very natural to want another baby when you have that precious small bundle and you have already decided it might be the last. But once you get beyond the baby-ness, you may realize that the others are doing so much that really you don't need to go down that road again. Live in the present. Enjoy this baby, don't squander her baby-hood thinking about another baby that may or may or not come.
Good luck!

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S.N.

answers from Houston on

You are too cute! I wouldn't have even looked at the numbers of my girls. If you feel it is in your heart to have another one go for it! I predict a boy! :-)

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J.V.

answers from Chicago on

I too was "done" when I was pregnant with my second, and then around 3 months, I started to contemplate having another.

Wait. Don't even think about it till your youngest is 9-14 months.

My son is 9 months, and while I still kind of long to have another, I am "done."

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L.G.

answers from Austin on

You must be enjoying your blessings!! Hurray!! I think we all can look at our blessings and feel overwhelmed, as if we have it so good that something bad is bound to happen. Well, everything in life can be looked at as good or bad. Some people might say that you having all girls is bad or having dimples is bad or having kids far apart in age is bad or having birthdays in different months is bad, etc. On the other hand, you are enjoying the "patterns" and that is fun to do. It's wonderful to see what you have as a positive thing.

My sister's first two daughters were born on the 15th of the month just as she (and my daughter are), so my mom had 3 grandbabies all girls, born on the 15th. Then my sister had a boy. He was born on the 16th and is a great kid! He started his own thing and we have reminded him how he set a whole new pattern. I think he has always liked that he his own person.

So, don't worry about what "fate" brings. It may be what you expect, but it is often what you don't expect. Have another child because you plan to love him or her like your others. Make whatever happens into a positive situation because everything can be turned into a positive. And be sure to teach your children to look forward to what life brings and not be afraid. God gives us whatever we need to face the difficulties in life, and He makes us stronger for it.

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M.G.

answers from San Antonio on

I feel like you are over thinking it. If you want another baby, have one. They are all beautiful and special, no matter what date they were born on or where they may or may not have a dimple. Who knows, this next one may have all the criteria you were just mentioning. If not, then I'm sure he/she will fit in well with the family.

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J.B.

answers from Houston on

I think if you want another, go for it:) I in my family hubs is Jun 4th, I am July 15th, my mom is July 11th and my first is July 10th!! It is not a pattern persay, but lots of summer bdays!! I was actually really excited to have my second in January, totally different from all of us. Plus my sis passed in Jan 09 and my 2nd was born in Jan 10, so that was really special for everyone. I only share that to say sometimes throwing a monkey wrench in things is refreshing:D Also, I was dead set that after I have one more that would be it! Tie the tubes, snip the dude, DONE! Now that I have my adorable 7mo old, I am just loving having a baby around as well and I don't know when I would ever want to close the door completely!! So yeah, looking at your adorable baby can cause you to not think totally clearly but at the same time kids are a blessing and bring so much joy into the home. So I have no real advice I guess only that I feel you on being so delighted about having a baby in the house!! I guess for me I will probably just say that's it based on my age, since I already have kids I don't think I would want to get preggers past 40, I would still have time to have a couple more before then. So if I end up with 4, so be it!!! Good luck whatever you decide:)

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