Lost Our Dog Today :(

I'm sorry for your loss. It hurts a lot to lose a beloved pet.

You should absolutely attend the 4th of July party. Life goes on. And your kids will not think you are celebrating too soon. That's usually the kind of thing judgmental adults think, not kids.

When you watch the fireworks with your kids, you can wonder which little spark in the sky is your beloved doggy.

A.-

Sorry for your loss. I would likely go. Went to a dance party the night after my grandmother passed, and we were very close. We are of the opinion that life is for the living, and our newly departed wouldn't want us to get stuck in grief so much so that we stop enjoying it.

The kids might feel sad at home, they might feel sad at the event. Either way, you can help them deal.

Best,
F. B.

Absolutely, I think you should attend. I had a Halloween party the day after my grandmother passed away. We were very sad but life goes on and my grandmother would not have wanted the party canceled. Also, I do not think it is healthy to mope around mourning for days/weeks. Kids are amazingly resilient and will follow your lead. Enjoy the day and celebrate the wonderful life you gave your dog.

So sorry for your loss.

So sorry! I've been there and it just sucks. Hug to you and your kids.

I believe this is a wonderful opportunity to help your children learn how to mourn, how to share grief, how to celebrate life and how to keep on going forward. It's perfectly OK to go to the 4th of July party -- it's also a good opportunity to help your son understand that just because you're sad about one thing doesn't mean that you can't enjoy other things. You can be sad inside and still have a light time at something. It's not disloyal to go forward. You'll always have your special friend in your heart.

Hang in. And, again, I am so very sorry.

I'm so sorry. Losing a dog is always very hard.

if it was me, I'd go on with our plans.

I am so sorry for your loss, I know how difficult it can be o lose a beloved pet. As I am sure you know, children give differently than we do. One moment they seem fine, and the net they aren't. I make take your 4 year old quite some time to real understand that your dog is gone and isn't coming back.

You've got a lot of good advice about the party so I won't repeat what h as sen said. If you go to the party, which I think would be fine, if the kids want to go, there may come a time where one or the other may become overwhelmed and want to come home. Grief can be a funny thing...one moment you are fine and getting on with life, and the next thing you know you are so overwhelmed and with grief you just don't know what to do. If on or the other of your kids has a meltdown at the party, this may very well be the reason why, so you might want to have an exit plan in place. I hope that makes sense.

If I could, I'd reach out and give you a huge HUG. Kudos for you for being so sensitive! Go with your gut, and know it will be ok.

I am so sorry and I know the pain of losing a older pet when kids don't really remember life "before". I think your kids are reacting appropriately - the 4 year old is bouncing back, the 7 year old not so much. But he may change in the next few days. Life does go on, but on your own timetable.

I'd say to play the event by ear. I don't think it should be based on what anyone else might think - you don't have to meet anyone else's view of what's "acceptable." If he's not actively mourning, it's perfectly okay to attend. If he seems to be hurting and you feel that distracting him will be worse, then cancel and just have some quiet family time. I think it's important to acknowledge his feelings and let him know that people grieve in different ways, and it changes over time. If you go to the party, that doesn't mean that mourning is over. There may be bouts of sadness (for all of you) over time. In fact, even the remaining dog may be confused after a few days and not know where his litter mate is. You have to be alert for signs of depression and confusion there as well. Your son may also be concerned that this second dog, being the same age, will die as well.

You may find meaning and comfort in some sort of action, observance or memorial activity. We did a garden stepping stone for our dog, in which we all participated.

It's also helpful to get a book or two that help explain death (in line with our own religious or philosophical beliefs) - a good children's librarian can help you find a couple of titles that work for each kid, and even borrow them from larger libraries in the system. Books sometimes help put feelings into words, and serve as conversation starters.

Good luck to you all as you work through the pain.

I am so sorry. Losing a pet is always hard, on the parents and the kids.

I think you should attend the 4th of July celebration. As with a family member or close friend who passes away, a pet would probably also want you to be happy, have fun, and go on living. She wouildn't want you to sit home mourning. If you want, have some sort of little ceremony for her that morning to feel that you're honoring her before going on with your day.

I am so sorry for the loss of your 'fur baby'.

There are a few days between now and the fourth that you (and family) can fill with memories and grieving.

You have time to make an album of pictures. Time to get some stones/rocks and make a small memorial that you may perhaps build upon.

I recommend attending the 4th event.

The reality IS...in spite of loss...things move on.

I am not suggesting you ignore. I am suggesting that you acknowledge...carry on with plans...and revisit.

Hope that makes sense!

i'm so sorry. this is a tough blow, especially when you have kids grieving their first big loss.
i absolutely think you should go. mourning is an ongoing thing. it's not celebrating the death of the dog, it's celebrating the 4th WHILE you're mourning. and kids of all people do move forward with mixed feelings, and letting them know that this okay, not disrespecting the lost loved on, is a very important thing to learn.
many kids (and not kids) seem to think that while in mourning, no pleasure or smiles or good times are allowed.
i wouldn't look at it as a distraction. the 4th of july was not created to distract anyone from grief. it's a celebration of our country that happens to be occurring while mourning is also happening. they can happen together. it's okay.
khairete
S.

I am sorry to hear that you lost your dog. It is so hard to go through it because they are a part of the family.

We have Cocker Spaniels and over the years, we've had to make the decision to put 3 down at the ages of 12, 15 and 14. The last one died 2 years ago. It is hard and heartbreaking.

We have 1 Cocker and a Toy Poodle now.

It might so you some good to go to the fireworks show. I would talk to your older child about it and get a feel for how he is handling the loss. Follow his lead.

Again, I am so sorry.

Sorry to hear that your dog passed :( ....
It's a tough call... Why not talk to your eldest and see how they feel about the situation.. also, consider doing a ceremony where your children can say goodbye to your dog.. example.. let go of balloons or something to that extent.. something tangible and too, during the ceremony, say some positive things about the dogs.. It's a sad situation but it's also a good chance to discuss death and what it means... because after all, this won't be the first time the children must endure these things..
and remember.. even if you mourn for only a day, it's doesn't mean you loved the dog any less than the person who mourns for a year.. love is love..

I think it's important to acknowledge feelings... but not just sadness and grief.. it's important to recognize the happy ones too... by doing as such, this helps a child to move past this and not stay stuck.. (like so many adults do) ....

I am so sorry. Yes definitely attend. It's ok to be sad, cry but life does go on I think your furry family would want kids to go have fun and to celebrate all the good years they had together.

So sorry. We put our 13 year old dog down in February and it's still hard. Today would have been her 14th birthday.

I would go to the 4th of July event. Just talk about your dog a lot--we still do. The other day my son didn't finish his hamburger and he said, "Marty would have loved to have the rest of this".

I'm so sorry for your loss. Honestly, I would keep the 4th of July plans. NOT because you want to try to "pretend everything is ok" - but because life goes on. My aunt lost her husband the week before Easter, and his funeral was the day before Easter, last year. Easter was at her house. She had it anyway. Why? Because he would have been hurt and saddened that the entire family had a terrible, sad, depressing Easter, because he was gone. And because family and God IS what it is all about, in the end. So what better way to spend the day after his funeral, than celebrating both of those?

Have to add- I disagree with putting this on your 7 year old's shoulders to decide. He's looking to you right now to learn how to handle such an event. You will be showing him that when sad things happen, you can close the doors and keep to yourself and be sad for days and days, or you can show him that it's ok to be sad, it's ok to mourn, and it's ok to move on. Just because you go celebrate 4th of July doesn't mean you're not sad. It just means you're not letting the sadness control your life.

I am sorry about the loss of your fur baby.

Take the fourth to celebrate our independence and to celebrate the life of your fur baby. Know that you did the right thing to end the pain and misery and let him cross the Rainbow Bridge.

You are showing your son that life is sometimes not happy and that you did what was needed. This is a teaching moment and will help him later in life when things do happen to pets and friends.

May you have a bang of a good holiday. Light up a sparkler for puppy and move on and enjoy the fireworks.

the other S.

I am so sorry for your loss!

My condolences for your loss.
See what the kids feel like doing.
Around where we are it looks like the holiday weekend could be rained out so we'll be doing things at home.

I am so so sorry for you loss. Hugs to you and your family
Many blessings

I'm so sorry. Same thing for us when our dog was 11 years old. It was really hard for a while.

I would ask your children on the day of the party if they feel up to going. I would put it that way to them. If one wants to go and one doesn't want to go, have your husband take him/her. The other children may decide later that they want to go, and then you can take them.