Hi. I am a stay at home mother of one. He's 3 now. I rarely had a problem corecting him in the past. But since he turned 3 he's been a royal pain so to speak, ha ha. I do understand that when children get to a certain age they become troublesome. But i think he is worse then other children. My son has always been categorized as having special needs. When he was born he was at high risk of having autism. He didnt talk till he was 2 and a half, and he has always been a picky eater. But the whole doing stuff to get attention is just getting out of controll. He will climb up my fire place, entertainment center, or anything he can climb. He knows the difference between right and wrong, he just does it to get attention. Like i said before i am a stay at home mom so its not like i dont give him attention. He is an only child could this have anything to do with his behavior? I am just at my wits end. I have tried time out, spanking, taking away his toys, and even taken away his T.V./mmovie time. I just dont know what to do anymore. He's not in school yet cause i havent found a school that is willing to work with his needs. He has been diagnosed with an acute learning disability. He doent retain knowledge as fast as a normal 3 year old. It takes him a while. But could him not being in school have anything to do with it? He's my first child and only child right now. And I'm in some desprate need of some help. Thank you for listening. :)
Well to let everyone know what happened.. Evertone keeps saying to get my son evaluated.. the funny thing about that is that he alreaady went through the early intervention program once and when the child hits 3 they get booted from the program and get pushed into a public program. I currently live in erie county, PA. The school system here really stinks, so right not im looking for him to go to a school outside of the city of erie. the problem i am having is finding a school that is willing to work with my son and i. i wasnt really worried about him being autistic. but thanks for the responces. I was more worried about him being ADD or even ADHD. None of my doctors will listen to me when i bring it upo. they say the are going to wait till he is 8 to test him for that. I fell that by that time its going to be too late. but i do like the sticker chart idea. i might just have to try that. ohh and i already went through a public service to get help for my son and they say there is nothing they can do for him unless he ACTUALLY has a problem.. maybe im worng on this one but i thought that the public service was there to help see of he did have a problem and also help if i couldnt afford a different child care. well right now its too late to enroll him in preschool. he missed the cut off date. we were having financial trouble. So hes going next year. maybe that will give me a whole year to see if there is anything out there that can be of any use to me. And thanks to everyone whoe wrote to me! :)
Hi, you mentioned Autism, if you believe your child has Autism you should have him diagnosed. I am speaking as a parent of a child that has Autism, one big problem is these kids act out and do not do it for attention. Spankinga nd other forms of disapline do not work with these kids.
B.,
I agree with alot of the other responses. We were told at about 18 months that our oldest had Autism. He wasnt talking just pointing and grunting and climbing on everything and jumping off his dresser and just anything he could jump off of. He actually hit his head several times and never complained about it. He is not 3 and still has his Autisic tendencies. We got him in to a birth to 3 program and now he is in Preschool and that seems to be helping him. Even though he still has a speech delay and has to have speech once a week his actions have really seemed to improve. I would get your son reevaluated just to make sure that there is nothing else going on.
I agree with the other comment - it would be helpful to get the autism possibility figured out. There are definitely specific types of behavior modification that work better or worse and acting out behaviors can certainly be part of the condition.
You mentioned quite a bit of climbing as the primary behaviors that you are having difficulties with. I have noticed with my little ones that they collect a lot of energy in the cooler months and need an outlet. Last fall we got a climber that we put in the playroom for them to have a way to burn up some of that energy when we couldn't get outside. I actually found it through the Pennysaver, but it was in great shape so with a quick scrub it was acceptable for inside use. It's not a huge one - just a cube with 2 climbing walls, a small door, small slide, and tunnel holes. We found that we regained a good part of our sanity when we gave them a safe and acceptable outlet for their energy. Now mine were not climbing fireplaces and entertainment centers - not that advanced in climbing. If this doesn't sound like something you have space for or would work for you, I would still strongly recommend making some kind of big muscle activity a priority in your daily planning. Whether it be a park, the backyard, a gymnastics class, or the play area at the mall, it sounds like your little guy needs to climb so you need to help him find appropriate times to do so regularly. Giving mine a place to climb stopped them from climbing on other things that were not ment for climbing.
You also mentioned finding a preschool to take on your child's special needs. You should contact your local school district. The school districts or counties are responsible for providing services for children with special needs from birth. Usually it is done in the home from birth through 3 and in a preschool setting from 3-Kindergarten. OT, PT, and speech should all be available in the preschool setting if your son needs any of those services. You said your son didn't talk until 2.5. I would imagine that it's possible he is still a bit behind in language. This could qualify him for services. Sometimes your pediatrician has to give a referral or complete forms for the programs so be sure to talk to them about your concerns and your local programs. Chances are that they have other patients that we involved in some kind of early intervention program either currently or in the past. I am a stay at home mom now, but was a kindergarten teacher and psychology/social work (did my practicum in an early intervention program but not locally so I do not know the specifics for this or your area) graduate in my past life so I do have a bit of background in the area.
Good luck - it's not always easy working through the system to get the resources that your child needs. Remember that you are his advocate and he needs you to help him get what he needs. Trust your instincts and reach out to the professionals for as much help as you can.
Hi B.,
It sounds like you really have your hands full!! I just want to encourage you to hold off on "labeling" your child. I have worked with lots of kids, including time as a nanny for a child diagnosed with autism, and I have not met a 3 year old who isn't WILD! They have just as much energy as a two year old only they are bigger, stronger, and have the use of words. I admit I have never spent time with your little guy but it really seems like he just has a lot of energy and needs an outlet. The weather is getting cooler and i'm guessing you're not spending as much time outside, but kids still need to have an outlet for their energy. Even if it's really cold, too cold for us, kids need their outside time. They need to run and "climb" and get some fresh air, so bundle him up hat, gloves, and all and take him outside. Even if it's only for 15 to 30 minutes it really should help. Then you can start setting boundries about climbing and running and so on inside.
The other thing really could be linked to his daddy. You mentioned that he "sometimes calls [your boyfried] daddy" and that is so cool that he has stepped in to take care of the two of you. But a three year old is now aware of other kids and daddys and mommys and so on. You may want to talk to your boyfriend about spending some special time with him. It's obviously not your attention he's wanting because he's with you every day so maybe it's his daddy's.
I may be totally wrong about this but just in my experience most kids don't need a label per-say. They just need time and affection from a mommy and daddy. I've just always been one to exhaust every avenue before coming to any conclusions. Good luck!!
I totally agree with Joana. I have an autistic child and I would suggest you get your child reevaluated for autism.
Hi B.,
I agree with some of the other responses that you probably need to get your child evaluated. Even if he does not have classic autism it sounds like he would qualify for and benefit from some services. If you live in Allegheny County call the DART program at ###-###-#### or if you are in the city of Pittsburgh call their early intervention services at ###-###-####. They will really help you figure out what is going on with your child. If you live in a different county try looking up early intervention in the phone book or calling your local united way and asking for help finding the early intervention agancy in your area. Thes services are free! Good luck!
