Lonely Point in Pregnancy

Updated on September 20, 2010
C.C. asks from Denton, TX
7 answers

Has anyone reached a point in their pregnancy were you felt lonely? If so how did you cure it? I am 24 weeks and all the sudden over the weekend it's hit me. I don't remember having this feeling with my first. I don't know if I am just now realizing that "friends" that use to call when I could go out and have a drink no longer call. Any advice?

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J.P.

answers from Boise on

Definitely call up the friends if you still want to go out with them.

I did get to that point. It was cabin fever, and even going out to lunch with my husband and son on a weekend helped me feel like I was getting out of the house. I don't have a lot of friends, so it continued for me. Be aware of it because it can lead to PPD after delivery - it did for me.

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K.P.

answers from New York on

Start making some calls yourself! Your friends are probably assuming that you are tired and busy with one child and another on the way! If you want to have some interactions, call a few girlfriends and have them over. They aren't going to call you to go out for drinks for obvious reasons, but no reason that you can't go grab breakfast on a Saturday morning or go for a mani on a Friday night.

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C.B.

answers from Madison on

I absolutely can relate!!! I am 38 weeks pregnant with my second baby and am now at the oh-my-gosh-I-have-so-much-to-do-before-baby-comes stage, so am way too busy anyway. But I definitely remember around the 24 week mark starting to feel very depressed and very lonely, and that feeling lasted a long time for me. I think the realization of the long road that pregnancy is also hits around that time. Many of my "friends" seemed to disappear after the news of me being pregnant and when I could no longer go out for a drink, but what it did do for me was reinforce who my real friends were. Not a fun thing to learn, but important nonetheless.

I don't know that I can offer any great advice, mostly just comfort in knowing that you're not alone! Being pregnant is tough and changes your life in ways that you just can't prepare for. Pamper yourself, call one of your friends, go for a walk, go shopping for a cute new maternity sweater...anything to keep yourself busy.

Best wishes for a healthy pregnancy and birth!

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D.K.

answers from Washington DC on

Find some friends whose situation is closer to yours. Go to a mommy and me playgroup and meet some other moms of toddlers. Guaranteed some of them will also be prego.

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

I think feeling this way is actually pretty normal.
In the beginning you have all the excitement of announcing the pregnancy and everything feels so new. Then, towards the end of the pregnancy, the anticipation of the arrival and everyone being so looking forward to the baby brings a new energy.
Somewhere in the middle, things can feel kind of blah. Just getting through the days being pregnant.
I don't think your friends have "quit" calling. It may feel that way, but if you are longing for some friend time, reach out for some. Invite a friend to lunch or have a few of them over to your house for an easy brunch. Or, let your husband watch your first child so you can get out with a friend for a pedicure or something.
All pregnancies are different and our feelings vary with each one, but with your first pregnancy, it may be that the whole thing was exciting because you'd never experienced it before and this time, you are feeling the "lull" in between the beginning and the end excitement.

I'm sure you have wonderful friends. Call them up!

Very best wishes.

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E.R.

answers from Chicago on

You are entering a whole new and different part of your life! Even though you're happy and excited about the baby, it's perfectly natural to also feel lonely for your 'old' life. For me, bring pregnant was a really contemplative time- you turn your focus inward more and more as the baby grows inside you- sometimes 'real' life seemed almost like a dream, lol!

If you have another child already, find other moms in the same boat! You know they're out there!

It's too bad your friends aren't doing more to stay in touch, but its pretty natural too. You'll make new friends, don't worry- and some of your old friends just might not know how to relate to you, or be unsure if you want to hang out.

Call up a couple of girlfriends and ask if they want to meet up for decaf lattes and tea instead of a drink. Or go to a movie or help you find some cute scarves to accessorize your pregnancy clothes.Or get a pedicure... Let them know you are pregnant- not contagious, lol!

But also realize that your hormones are all wacky right now and any little thing may upset you more than it normally would. When I was pregnant, my ex came home to find me sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor, crying, because we didn't have any milk to make macaroni and cheese, lol! He hightailed it over to the 7-11, but man did I hear about that later!

Everything that you feel right now is ok. Don't freak yourself out about feeling lonely- every pregnancy is different and you are a different person now than you were before. Think positive thoughts for your baby and try to get out more and be active. Good luck!

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C.W.

answers from Austin on

I was sooo lonely during my pregnancy! I had a major falling out with my 2 closest friends, and I also moved from Idaho to Texas. My uncle lives here, so I did have him, and my fiance... but that was it. Come to think of it, still pretty lonely! lol. I couldn't join any mother's groups because I have no transportation... The main thing I do to "fight" loneliness is to call family more often than I used to. I also sought out old friends on facebook, and am working on rebuilding those friendships. And of course, I am on mamapedia a lot. :)

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