Life

As long as the door is shut and locked, do what you gotta do. My kids are 4 and 5 and if we waited for them to be asleep or out of the house we would never do it. Just occupy them a bit for a little special time alone w/ the hubby:)

I would think they would enventually know what is going on...I would think it would be very romantic go and ahead and do it! How old are you kids?

As long as the children are in another room it should be ok. The issue with them being awake is will the two of you be able to hear them and stop instantly should one of the children need something. All in all go with what you are most comfortable with.

If your children are safe and you can have your "mom radar" on while out of the room, then I say go for it ~ or he'll find someone else who'll take a chance at some fun during the day. Your husband and marriage comes first after God. The kid's safety needs to be considered, but other than that, your husbands needs come first or you and your children will come last! Turst this advice from someone who knows.
God bless and make the experience fun and carefree even if you have to force the behavior of "relaxed" at first.
D.

Why not....make sure they're occupied with cartoons or something else that is safe - and lock the door.

Keep a mom ear open and don't make a lot of noise to draw their attention......

Have fun!

I don't know about making love with 2 children awake & in a different room - there is not enough information in your post to make a decision. Have they been put to bed and just not asleep? Are they playing? Is the door locked?

The other thing you don't say is what is your 'love life' like? Remember you are a wife and he is your husband and making love is an intimate act that keeps 2 people bound together and if you are always tired at the end of the day and sex gets shoved aside - then your marriage and your family suffer. Perhaps he suggested making love at the time he did - because you aren't any other time.

You 2 need to make time for each other. Have a date night; send the kids to a Grandmother if that's possible; or perhaps find another couple who have children who might be willing to take care of yours one day and you take care of theirs the next. Cultivate this person that you married and remember that he is your best friend.

Sex may not always be an issue - but someday theses beautiful children whom you created will leave home for homes of their own - and you will be left with this man. The best gift that you can give to them is 2 parents whom they know genuinely care for each other and who love each other.

I don't know that I have given you a definitive answer; but these are some questions to think about.

Girl, go for it. Make sure the kids are in the room either sleep or occupied with a TV show, movie, game for a while. It's one way to keep the passion.

Good Luck & Love!!

When no one is watching awake or not, go for it! I was this way too before I had my 2nd child and I think our marriage suffered some b/c to him I was rejecting him. Now it is on whim and more fun! If kids are busy and ok, sneak to another room for just a bit!! It can't hurt anything but sure can help!!

No. Kids need supervision.

of course its ok...as long as they think your folding laundry or WHATEVER... who cares

Life's too short. Go for it!

I don't really think there is any thing wrong with sneaking in a quicky. Sometimes our kids will be so into something that we could set the house on fire and they wouldn't notice. We just lock the doors and make it fast.;) But if you think your kids are the type that will come looking for you then just hold off. Just keep in mind that sex is a very important part of your marriage. It may be that your schedules are so full that you aren't getting the chance after the kids go to bed. This may just be your husbands way of problem solving.
K.

Sometimes by the time the children are asleep, you are too exhausted to enjoy making love. We've had the children watching a video before and told them that we needed a naptime. Of course there are many factors involved. How old are your children? Will they watch a video quietly, and can you two keep it quiet enough?

I think if it makes you paranoid or uncomfortable it won't be any good, but sometimes squeezing in a 10min quickie while our daughter is occupied w/ something on the TV is the only time my husband and I get for a week because of our work schedules. And it doesn't always work out because sometimes she gets bored and comes banging on the bedroom door anyway :)
But it's important to make time for each other, and sometimes that's the only time you have.

Hi C.,
This is a problem that doesn't really go away, as long as there are children in the house. I have three, ages 12, 10 and 5, and nowadays it is the older one we have to worry about...she is a night owl and struggles to fall asleep, so it could be 10 or 10:30 at night and my husband is struggling to stay awake but I know my daughter is still up and could come looking for me at any moment! I finally realized we just have to lock the door and take a chance. Once or twice she has come and knocked on the door and 'interrupted' us, then it is a mad scramble to make ourselves presentable before we open the door, but I think in the long run it is worth it for the sake of our marriage. A lot depends on your children's ages...if they are really small, would it freak them out to come looking for you and find your door locked and that it takes you a few minutes to open up? If they are very young, would it not be easier to just wait until they are both asleep? I think there are two things to keep in mind...you don't want to scare your kids or detrimentally affect them, but at the same time, you and your hubby need intimacy in your marriage. It has to be a balance, and it is never an easy thing to figure out, but you have to work at it b/c, as another poster said, the children will leave and all you will have is each other! Best of luck to you!

Reminds me of a joke I got the other day "8 yr old Johnny is on the back porch with a popsicle..." :-)

I say go for it, 15 min isn't gonna hurt them. That's what we had to do when our children were small, otherwise we wouldn't have done the 'deed' at all by the time the kids were in bed. We were too tired by then. We would put their favorite Disney movie in the VCR and tell them that mom and dad needed to go have a 'talk' and we would be right back. Worked every time!! When they got a bit older, we would have them play at the neighbors house and vice-versa.

If you don't make some time for each other, no matter if it's day or night, someone could end up thinking they are not wanted anymore. Not saying this will happen, but some marriages suffer from it. Raising kids is stressful enough, a bit of de-stressing time is needed no matter what time of day it is.

Just make sure your door is locked and you are quiet about it. :-) Many times we have put a video on for them, or make sure they are busy doing something safe. You need to take the opportunities when they come. My kids know that Mom and Dad need alone time. If they happen to knock, one of us tells them that we'll be out in a minute. But, usually, I ask them to give us a few minutes alone without interruption beforehand. They usually respect that wish. It's good for the kids to learn to give you your space - whether you're alone or with your hubby, whether you're just talking or making love.

Isn't that what locks on the bedroom doors are for? I mean seriously...in a lot of old houses you don't see locks on the original bedroom door handles. I am sure some man (with the help of his wife) had the bright idea to start locking the door so kids could not barge in during intimate moments and then post pone him finally getting lucky once again.

I had issues with it myself when we had one little one. Now we have 2 kids and if we waited until their schedules permitted we would both be way to exhausted to even think about it. I say go for it!! Who knows...you might find you have more patience and energy for the kids after!

And, if you don't have locks on your doors...GET THEM! :o)

If your children will leave you alone for as long as it will take and if you can be discreet...why not??? Get them occupied, lock your door, keep the noise down and have fun :-)!!!

Good luck,
K.

I say NO I feel weird knowing my 2(16 & 3) are at home and are in just the other room. Accidents happen to quick and if it does you might not beable to respond quick enough.

How old are your children? I hope you guys close the door. I see nothing wrong with it. Me and my husband use to make love when my kids were young and in different rooms, we would make sure they were busy playing with their toys, no fore play though. Sorry I can't agree with you.

I would say go for it. When kids are young sometimes you have to make do with the little time you are able to have with your husband. If you wait for the perfect time it will probably never be there when you have kids. I agree with a lot of the post here, that is what locks on the doors are for.

I think you need to relax and say yes. When the kids are really young there is no 'opportune' moment (speaking as a mom of five kids) and they will have no idea of what you're up to anyway.

C.,

I agree with these ladies....I say GO FOR IT!!!! That's why they are called "quickies"....I mean, if your kid's are awake and especially if they are small children....your NOT gonna make love for 3 or 4 hrs....I tell my kids that we are gonna take a short nap, not to wake us up unless its very important or an emergency...i have 3 kids 9, 7 and 4. my oldest loves it when we tell him that we are leaving him in charge of the other two....makes him feel like he has authority....my little one I used to sit her in her high chair w/a snack pudding or jello....something she will not choke with and she would watch Nemo.....many marriages always put "day" love making aside because the kids r awake and then at "night" they are to tired to make love.....that's a BIG no, no! Many marriages grow cold because of that....so C. go for it!!!....try it....quickies are great!!!

I don't think there's anything wrong with making love to your husband while the kids are awake. You can gate them up in their room if they're really young. You can lock the door, the kids can watch their favorite show or movie, if they're a little older. Also if you guys are a "loud" couple you can also play your romantic music loud so they can't hear you. Plus, I think it's sweet that your husband finds you so sexy that he wants to do it "right now" :) Also, if you feel uncomfortable about it, there is always "lunch sex". If your children are as young as I think they are, then, they are napping at lunch time. You call your husband and say "let's do lunch". Oh and trust me, I'm talking from experience, making love during lunch time is great! lol. Hope this helps

I've been married for 37 years, and I have to side with your husband. Lock the bedroom door, and spend some alone time with him--he needs it and you do, too! (Just make sure the "sound track" is rated "G"!!!)

I've seen too many marriages grow cold because the romance was put on hold while the kids were small. Don't let that happen to you.

Reminds me of a joke where the parents sent the boy out on the patio with a popsicle to eat and talk about everything he was looking at. As he narrates the parents get busy. He continues to talk, I see dogs walking, I see birds, oh look Jimmy is out on his patio eating a popsicle his parents must be having sex too!!
Not trying to make light of your situation but this is an age old dilemma! You cant forget that your husband needs you too. Even if all you do is talk about how you will get to be with him later, tell him! It's the promise that you still love him and want him NO MATTER WHAT!
Good luck and GOD Bless!

Hi C.,
Seems like one would be a bit distracted....thinking at any moment the kids will be knocking at the door...or somehow possibly getting in through a door that was supposed to be locked. Another concern would be the children being unsupervised...should something harmful happen to them......how would one explain why they were not supervised? Besides these points, who (what Mom) could relax in that setting and find it enjoyable? Men and women think differently...with respectful communication, perhaps your husband will understand your concerns. Blessings

If you are not comfortable with the idea, then I don't see how this will be anything more than one-sided pleasure (for him). I doubt you would be able to relax enough to make it enjoyable for yourself... (I don't think I'd be able to relax either.)

Not sure how old your kids are... Of course, kids are really smart. They'll know what you're doing. Don't fool yourself.

Hi!!!

I say no too!! I have a teen at home. Wait until their sleeping.

JM

I agree with Karen and say no. I would be uncomfortable about it too. My kiddos go to bed at 8:30 so that leaves us plenty of time.

I wouldn't be comfortable with it either! But here's the bottom line, if you are not comfortable with it, then you will not be able to relax, or enjoy it, and doesn't he want you to enjoy it? That it in a nut shell!

C. - It is not OK if you don't think it is - no excuse or explanation necessary. If you feel uncomfortable for any reason (it doesn't have to be "good enough" for anyone other than yourself) - don't do it!

Well a big component in love making is that you both are relaxed and comfortable. I don't know of any mom who could just get into the flow to easily knowing her very young kids are awake and free to get into anything they want, I sure couldn't! I don't think it is a right or wrong issue I think it is a personal preference issue and since you are not comfortable I say case closed. I have known of some couples that have some time together in the early evening but I believe there was at least one child old enough to hold down the fort.

One time of being caught would change his mind. He would be the one that have to explain RIGHT !!!! BEEN THERE. Better to wait til asleep or gone..;....

Sure it is ok.. That is why we have a lock on the door and a good tv and full set of videos.. Of course now our child is in college, but this is perfectly fine.

i would have 2 say no no no they dont need to here yall doin that wait till they are asleep...

Hi C. G!

I say no too, not when they are awake, it is really inappropriate. I say tell Dad to wait until they are sleeping!!! I might be old fashioned, but children don't need to be exposed to that until they understand it. Hope it all works out for you!

I say lock the door so they don't interrupt. I too feel uncomfortable with it but when it comes down to it, with 4 kids we gotta fit it in sometime.