My husband is a stay at home dad so our daughter is with him all day every day. I have a trip planned for Memorial Day weekend that has been a long-standing tradition for me to take, usually by myself. I am planning to go but am freaked out about being away from my 4-month-old daughter overnight. She is bottle fed I am not sure she will notice my absence since we have only a few hours each night together and have read elsewhere that being away is a bigger issue after 6 months than before. I'm worried about her but also worried I won't have a good time. I could take her but the temperatures are very hot (90s+) and I worry about all the germs on the plane so staying home with Dad seems safer for her.
Any feedback from those of you who have or haven't left your under-six month old?
p.s. I do want to go because I spend every minute of my time either at work or caring for my daughter in the evenings after work. I love being with her and don't mind but there is absolutely no down time at all for me. This trip will give me that and I'm hoping I'll be able to enjoy it. I want to know how others felt when they experienced similiar choices.
Just like stay at homes are working when they are at home during day, work at work parents are working when they get home too... There's no such thing as an eight-hour workday for either my husband or I. I appreciate the reminders to make sure dad has personal space too.
I went, I had a great time, she didn't miss me and everything was fine. This week, she and her dad are in NY together visiting relatives. I'm sure she's fine now too> Thanks for the feedback!
Go, have fun. They have no idea of time. You could be gone for 3 minutes or 3 days, they have no idea. :)
I am a single mom with a job that requires business travel. I had to leave my daughter for the first time, for one night, when she was about 4 months old. She wasn't a stranger to a bottle of breastmilk since she had been going to daycare since 10 weeks, but I was still nursing through the night.
Since then, I've had to leave her for as long as 8 nights. The first year was the hardest, but now I can be more objective about the situation--she just turned three. There are many worse things she could have happening to her than being away from mom for a few nights.
It isn't easy, but it isn't impossible. You are in a great situation where her dad is actively involved. Your biggest worry it seems, is how much YOU will miss her. That is a valid concern, but if this retreat helps you be a better wife and mother...then you should do it.
I know a lot of "supermoms", SAH and otherwise, that never seem to need a break. We all aren't cut from the same cloth. It doesn't make us a better or worse parent...just a different parent.
P.S. Just remember to give your stay at home dad some time off too!
Your daughter will be fine. Will you?
I think you should go and enjoy yourself. You will miss her more than she will miss you. She is only 4 months old and wont even remember this weekend. But she will remember a Mom who honored herself and her traditions. Its best she stays at home anyway. Good for you Mom! Enjoy!
The real question here is if your comfortable leaving or not. It's not about your daughter because she will be absolutely fine. She won't even notice and clearly it sounds like your husband's got things under control.
I left for 3 nights when my son was 6 months and it was no biggie. It was more an ordeal for me since I had to pump still, but I still had fun. Son and husband got to bond even more and everyone came out unscathed! ;)
When our daughter was 6 weeks old, I went back to work and the following week had to go on a buying trip for 6 days.
My husband was totally in charge of our daughter. He did great, she did too. It really gave my husband great confidence in taking care of our daughter. It was a great experience, especially considering, he had never held a baby in his life until our daughter was born.. She was in "in home care" and the care giver promised to make sure everything looked ok each day (hee, hee). When I got back she told me everything looked great and my husband had been on time dropping off and picking up!
Our families all live in town so he knew he could call on any of them if he needed any help.
I missed them a lot. I thought about them the whole time, but I had to get my work done and was glad I would be kept busy the entire time. At the time we did not have cell phones, so we had agreed times each day that we would speak..
Go and have fun. Your husband will do great,.
What does dad say? If he is fine leave her with her daddy. Have a great trip.
best, k
I don't understand what you are concerned about. You leave her with Dad all day every day. If it were me I would stay home with my husband and daughter. It would be different if you were tied to the house every day but your not. You are away all the time. My daughter and husband would come before a trip. But everyone is different and has different priorities.....I would not take her with me if she would be uncomfortable the entire time. Also if I took my daughter I would take my husband also. Sorry if I upset you with my reply but I am just voicing my opinion.
If you decide to go I would not take her. She will be fine, but I'd only go if you know you can relax and enjoy yourself. My experience with being away from my children is that I love the chance to go but after 24 hours I wonder why I left.
If you are going to go on your trip and be worried the whole time, why go on the trip? You didn't really say anything about how much you need this trip (to unwind, relax, get some sleep), just that it's a tradition. That omission suggests that maybe you don't really want to go. The baby will be fine without you if you decide to go. Does your husband get to go off on his own sometimes too?
