Last Minute invite...would You Be Offended?

I would leave the party for the classroom kids only. It's less stress this way, and you can always just have cake with the neighborhood kids.

I would not be offended, but next time I had a party I might send the invitations out a few weeks earlier and give the respond date of at least a week and a half before and send out the other invites as people decline one by one. Then call the others who don't respond on time to get a head count. Most people would be psyched to get an invite at all, I wouldn't fret. Who ever can make it will come and it the kids will have a blast!

Hey, hope you don't mind all caps, my visual impairments have resulted to my using them at all times. First i'd like to introduce myself as a retired mom. Truth is, our job is never done--even from heaven, i'm sure that moms are praying over us (-: i consider myself retired because for the last 14 years i have suffered from empty-nest syndrome. Yes, i'm sure many can't imagine wondering where all the pampers, spilled-over milk and noise went... After the children are all grown-up and gone surprisingly enough they are truly missed--the scraps and scrapes too. I chose to offer some advice to your question. One, don't stress yourself over the outcome, just 'cross each bridge when you get to it'. Always have a just in case plan. Do your best by putting your best effort into it. And whoever and whatever becomes of it be proud of yourself, give yourself a standing ovation. Because trust me on this one, if you don't don't expect anyone else to because they don't. And if your best just doesn't seem good enough to make others--all of them happy, then they don't deserve you--make yourself happy with whoever and whatever else is left. Honored to be your guest. June in november 2009

H.,

For those that don't rsvp, call them and ask. Just explain you need a definitive number. You have the right to do that. I know I have been called before since I forgot to rsvp. (Ooops!)

Regarding calling the neighborhood kids last minute, if it's important to your son, I would invite them if numbers allow. I don't think you need to explain the whole deal...that would be awkward, plus you don't owe anyone an explaination. It's your party and you should be able to run it the way it suites you and your family.

I would just call and play it off. Say you are putting a last minute bday party together and ask if their child is free. I think people need to be more appreciative nowadays. If someone takes offense to a three day warning, they are focusing on the wrong thing. You cannot control what people focus on or how anyone reacts. So don't stress out. Do the best you can for your child and let it go.

Good luck! Have fun!

Hi H.,
Yes, if I found out my kid was invited only because some of the first choice people couldn't make it and my kid was the afterthought, I would be offended. If your son is friends with kids in the neighborhood, invite them over for pizza and cupcakes. If you don't hear from people by the rsvp date, give them a call or an email and let them know that you need to give a headcount and pay accordingly. I find that usually those who don't rsvp are not coming, but many wait til the last minute, I think to see if something better comes up for the family - a kid party is often not the top priority.
Good luck!

Honestly, I would be a bit offended in this case. It would be very obvious that the neighborhood kids were a last minute deal, especially if you don't explain yourself. I don't want to be the mom of that kid.

I say leave things alone. Whoever does not RSVP isn't coming, and that's it. Next year, invite the neighborhood friends. In a year, no one will remember who was or wasn't invited anyway (kids have so many birthdays). But if I was on the neighborhood moms I would remember I felt like I was a last minute invite.

Interestingly, I was actually a last minute invite for a wedding I went to once. The bride to be actually admitted it to me openly, but also stated that she had prepaid for many family relatives to come from India, and at the last minute they could not come. So rather than wasting a seat that was already paid for she thought to invite some folks from work (initially she invited no one from work except 1-2 close friends, and openly stated in the past it was for budget reasons). She was so sweet about it, and so honest, I was not at all offended. I had a blast at her wedding with my other last minute invite co-workers (my little guy even danced a little!)

Leave it as is. And if you have people that haven't rsvp'd before the date, call them up and ask if they are coming. If someone shows up with extra kids it is perfectly okay to turn them away if you don't have enough space. Honestly, my kids are 7 and 5 and I've never had extra kids show up at the party. Good luck!

I wouldn't be offended by a last minute invitation but when the finances are tight I may not be able to accept a last minute invitation because I may not have any extra money to get the Birthday Boy a nice gift.

I think setting a particular date for the party to continue with the neighbor kids would be great. Even inviting them over for an impromptu pizza and cake party is fine. The more formal the invitation the more parents believe they need to bring a gift for your child.

My question is always what is the birthday party about? Isn't it about the celebration of another year of life and does that celebration always have to mean gift receiving and giving or is it about something more?

Don't stress just enjoy and perhaps next time you can choose a venue to accomodate all the friends from all of his circles.

I would either change the venue or ask if the place can do 2 separate shows for the extra children. Maybe if you explain the situation to the venue they can help you. Either way good luck and happy b-day to your son.

I would just get on the phone and call the Mom's of the kids that were invited. Tell them you need a head count of who is coming....Get the info asap so you will have more time to ask your neighbors.

Good luck
P.

My own experience is that most people think "RSVP" means "RSVP decline only". That's NOT what it means, but whatever... The point is, unless someone RSVPs to decline within 1 week of getting the invite (that is, they KNOW they have a conflict), then the only declines you'll get last-minute are usually sick kids. At this point, I'd say leave the neighborhood kids out of it, and just have a big playdate with them a few days after the party. You don't even have to do cake - just letting your son have friends over to play with his new toys is a ton of fun.

Don't take the chance! What if parents bring siblings?

Leave it as it is... do cupcakes or pizza with the neighbors if you really want to include them somehow.

First, you should be prepared that most of the kids will go. At the our last bday party, all but two showed up. If you are able to invite more kids, I don't think that the neighborhood kids would be offended. You should just explain to them the situation, and that you are glad that it worked out that you were able to invite them. Or, you can have a birthday playdate at your house. If he has close friends that he wasn't able to invite, maybe you can have a separate, small celebration.

If I were you I would explain the issue to the parents, Like "Little Jonney's Party is going to be here on 1-1-1 and I would really like to invite you however there is a small problem. They only allow # kids. i am sure there wil be alot of kids that will not come but I do not want to invite too many just incase, and I told Jonney if he invites any of his class it needs to be all, would you mind if I invited George to the party if a space opens up?"

As a mom I would understand this and would appriciate the heads up so i did not get told so last min. and would have time to set aside the day as well as the $.

You must expect people to not rsvp. Things change mothers are very busy in the week and like to wait until the last minute to decided if they will go. As far as the children in your area. If you son plays with them often why weren't they invited before the class. He should of invited his close friend from school and his close friend from home. There would of been less confusion.

Just tell the parents that it turns out you're able to invite a few more people than you thought and if they aren't busy would their child like to go to the party. As far as "extra" showing up just plan on having 2-3 extra favors (I even give them to siblings that come)and include the kids who's parents didn't RSVP. I'm surprised your friend turned them away. Those children must have been heart broken. It's not their fault!!! I always make a point to call the parents who didn't RSVP just to make sure. I know how busy everyone gets.

i wouldn't be offended but i wouldn't take my kids either. people need time to make time for b-day parties, get gifts, outfits for kids going to the party etc
if people have not rsvp-ed you, just call and explain that you need to know otherwise you will assume they're not coming
i would have invited neighborhood kids first esp. if my kids are friends with them

Since the numbers matter so much I would call the none RSVP people and just let them know you HAVE to have an exact head count. If no RSVP then you are assuming they will NOT be there! Then if you have open seats by all means call and fill the seats with other friends! A.

I own a place where we provide birthday parties and in my experience whenever a parent invites more than they expect, almost ALL show up.

Also, I always get a Yes, No, No response count when we confirm as there are always one or two that don't respond and show up anyway. As well as people who respond yes and have to cancel within a day or two due to illness, etc.

If they have a strict cap of 15 kids and you already invited 20, best to leave it at that. Did you tell them you were inviting 20 and ask if you have one or two additional what the procedure is? My only suggestion would be that next time you pick a venue that can accomodate ALL of your intended guests. If it is important to have the neighborhood kids this year, maybe he can have a very small birthday party at home or include them if you have a "family" party.