Kindergarten and Disciplnary Action

I defy a teacher to tell me when any of my kids aren't listening. :p Did she ask him what she was saying? Maybe he was bored.

I don't know really if you are right or wrong. I know when something is BS with my kids because I know my kids, I know how they learn and how they behave.

You know you son, does it seem fair?

No, I think what she is doing is great. She should have started it the first week to help the kids learn to behave in class early, when you wait 3 weeks to start to enforce rules, it doesn't set well with parents or the kids who are now in shock to see the teacher as an authoritative figure. Remember, she is educating your child, but also teaching him how to behave and socialize in a classroom setting. Our kindergarten teacher does this, started day one and does it by color. We have to sign off on the paper every night. Green is good, blue is 1 mark, yellow is 2 marks and red is 3 marks. My son is always so happy to report when he has a green mark! We are able to talk to him every time he gets a mark and we know exactly what it is for, and his behavior is progressively improving. Being made aware of some things he has to work on is not demeaning or too strict. It is allowing you as a family to help him succeed.

I was very grateful when my daughter's K4 teacher let me know her behavior was slipping 3/4 of the way through the year last year. We have taken discipline very seriously form an early age, and she's extremely good and loves school, listens and plays well. She never once got a time out in daycare at ages 3 and 4. The teacher assured me that kids who are comfortable often start to push boundaries at that age, especially later in the year. I know she is right. I did not get "mad" at my daughter, but it was an excellent opportunity to re-establish that the teacher is in charge, there is to be respect for the class at all times with good behavior, and I have eyes in the class and would be checking on her. She improved right away.

"Not listening during lessons" mean just that. If your son is distracted and distracting, you should be happy to know and correct that. I don't think it's too strict, and I don't think it makes her mean and grumpy. Its the beginning of the real school year. The teacher shouldn't wait for a certain amount of weeks to start to enforce class etiquette. That's my personal opinion. My daugter's K4 teacher got excellent results from her kids, even the difficult ones, and even though she was tough, they all loved her.

Well why is he not listening in class?

I do not think it is too strict, I think she is letting you know his behavior.Don't you want to know?
I bet he will not get any of these notices towards the end of the school year. He will know the expectations and it will become natural to him.

Kindergarten is all about learning how to behave in school.
It is not preschool, it is the real thing. And so yes, it is different and your son will have some adjustments and will need to learn to listen and pay attention while the the teacher is speaking/teaching and he is supposed to be doing his work..

He needs to pay attention because if he does not listen or pay attention how is he going to learn? How is he going to follow directions? What is wrong with working on him learning to listen to the teacher?

She is not saying he is a bad kid or is disruptive. This is not a reflection on you. It is a heads up on an area he needs to work on.

Walking in a line
hands to ourselves
Inside voices
raise your hand
use your manners
Listen and pay attention to the teacher
Arrive on time
Do your work quietly
When the teacher is speaking we turn our heads to listen to him/her.
We use our eyes so she will know she has our attention.
These are all things your son will need to know for the rest of his school years.

I am going to bet this teachers students are completely prepared for first grade. Our daughters kindergarten teacher seemed pretty firm and direct, but boy her students learned a ton from her and were totally prepared for 1st grade. The kids wanted to work hard and do their best for her.

She also was great for all of parents, of first time kindergartners.. She wanted us to know what we were also expected to do to help our children be excellent students.

I think that before you judge the teacher, you should ask if you can volunteer in the classroom. Why not see for yourself how the teacher is with the kids instead of reading what a bunch of people on the internet think about her?

Today, I spent an hour in my 3rd grader's Art class. I identified 4 kids that need extra attention (i.e., don't follow directions, don't listen to the teachers, disrupt the class, etc.). And I'm sure they will cause problems in future classes (not only Art, but their other classes as well) .

Since it was only the 2nd week of school, the teacher was a lot firmer than I've seen her on previous occasions. She is trying to set expectations of behavior. What is wrong with that? Doesn't mean she doesn't like kids or is some old "Battle Ax."

Wow, so your kid is "grumpy" because he has to listen to the teacher and follow the rules? Well, he better get used to it! I would tell him that as a student, it is a part of his "job" to pay attention and follow the rules.

I'd love to hear an update after you've observed the class a few times.

::snort::

Okay, I'm having a hard time not giggling at your post. Truly it's not that I'm laughing at you but you're taking this way too seriously. What a child sees as "mean" is a teacher that must maintain order in the classroom. A teacher that expects rules to be followed and then follows through with implementing the rules will come across as mean and will certainly make any child grumpy.

I have a child with ODD. I had notices and phone calls all the time for her for things like bossing the other kids around and getting up to run errands for the teacher by running to the office... without letting the teacher know. She didn't think rules applied to her.

I have a child with Autism. I get daily reports on her and I get frequent phone calls. She's a good child, but with her social issues she tends to, ah, break some rules. She gets a lot of leeway, but she still has to follow the rules. As nice as her teachers are they also have to be strict. The nicest of teachers are, according to her, mean mean mean. For making her follow the rules. For expecting her to remain quiet at certain times. For expecting her to sit down during specific times.

No, the teacher isn't being a little too strict for the third week of school. Now is when she MUST establish her authority and the kids have to know that she means it when she says something is not allowed or a rule must be followed. If she's soft on the rules now, then she's lost control for the entire school year.

Maybe it's PMS so knowing that i'll try to be diplomatic. he needs to learn these things. Just because he is a boy doesn't mean he can't learn to control this body. I'll give you just a little bit of lea way if he just turned 5 with in the last month or so.
My guess is she wouldn't take her time or energy to discipline if he was just staring at the wall. For her to address it meant that he was disturbing the other children, humming, touching, wandering way, talking over her, rolling around, messign with things in his desk etc. Those are the types of things that would cause her to notice he wasn't listening. If it were just a case of sitting there quietly staring at her blankly she would be having him evaluated for a learning disorder.

The best thing you can do for your son is to support his teacher, She wants him to do well, It makes her life easier and makes her look good. No teacher goes around looking to pick on kids, Talk to him about doing what the teacher asks him to do. Give him healthy food and lots lots lots of rest.

If this is an occasional thing, just know that all kids make mistakes and they can learn from them. If it starts happening ALOT. then you need to find out, if it is an issue of what time of day this is happening, maybe he is tired, maybe it's before lunch and he is hungry, maybe he is a boy genius and is ready for med school because he is so bored with kindergarten. Be open and talk calmly with the teacher, she wants to help.

Is this your first child? He may be a bright boy, but even the best kids need a reminder to sharpen their listening skills. The teacher is using a method of communication that is effective and she told the parents what to expect. I was mortified when my oldest son got his first note like this. We
used it as a learning experience and thanked the teacher for bringing it to our attention immediately. My son promptly apologized to the teacher. He was five, and we haven't had an issue since.
Good luck.

In K, they are kind of getting them ready for the next 12 years of "sitting and listening" in class.
Take it with a grain of salt and work with your son to remind him that when he's at school, the teacher is in charge.

Actually, I don't think it's extreme at all. She has a class of kids and she has to keep order. There are lots of times for fun during the day but there are times they need to sit quietly and learn as well. Sending home a note just helps her convey any issues on a daily basis so you are all on the same page.

I live near two different school districts, and have experience with both, they both have similar things they do, schoolwide, up till at least 3rd grade. One school had colored cards and they have to turn their color for not listening, at the end of the day their daily log is marked with the color they ended on. The other school it's cards. And actually the next town over does the color thing for k at their catholic school. So I have to say it isn't strange, but pretty much the norm in a lot of schools.

before assuming she is mean (or taking the 5 year old's word for it) maybe talk to her. perhaps she had given him warnings and he didn't heed them. in preschool my son (almost 5) has gotten time outs for misbehaving and not listening. it happens. little boys are squirmy. maybe she expects more from him than his previous teachers did. yes he is only in kindergarten - but it's not preschool. it's a whole new ballgame that maybe he didn't expect. i would talk to her before making any assumptions.

What kid wouldn't be grumpy if they can't do what they want? Heck I get grumpy too! My son say I make him grumpy when he can do something. I wouldn't worry to much about it unless it continues then I would bring it up to the teacher. Kindergarten is something very new to him still and needs to learn routines of the classroom.

Some Teachers, are really just not... kid friendly.

Kindergarteners are not army troops.
They are young kids.
The Teacher does not understand that.

A GOOD Teacher, will understand that... and be able to manage her classroom and the children of that age.

You can speak to the Principal.

This Teacher, seems really.... like a Battle-Ax that does not like children.

And now, your child hates school.
How pathetic.
All because of the teacher.

BUT.... each year, will be a different Teacher.
And we can't choose the Teachers.
This is also a life lesson, for the child.
The child, still has to do their best.

You can always, make an appointment with the Teacher, to calmly discuss, her approach.

Although the teacher might seem "strict" and/or "regimented", all you non-educators out there need to know that now in Kindergarten you're not just teaching the kids to line up, sit when told, follow directions, and behave in a classroom. There are actual standards that have to be taught and all the students are expected to learn by the time they go to first grade. My daughter's twins started Kindergarten a few weeks ago. H's teacher say's she's very attentive and eager to learn. C's teacher gives stickers to the kids at the end of the day who have been good. C's teacher remarked to him (not just once) this past week that, no, he wouldn't be getting a sticker because Teacher had to talk to Mom (this said in full earshot of other parents). Mom would have loved a note in lieu of the public announcement. C has never been interested in learning his colors or letters and doesn't care if his sister knows them. C likes what he likes, and knows what he likes. He has been admonished for saying "no" to the teacher and also refusing to follow directions (putting his shoes back on). These actions are met at home with a time out. Not sure what Teacher does, other than the "parent talking-to". Not every teacher is a good match for every student, but, hopefully, by the time Kindergarten is done C will have learned that he has to listen to the teacher and do what is asked. At least she's keeping you informed of what's happening with your child.

She seems too strict. Kids need to be allowed to be kids. I get that they want to teach them to listen and such, but it sounds like this teacher is forgetting that it's NORMAL for them to not remember to listen during lessons. I agree with you. She's being too strict...and I think it's silly that she's sending notices home. Honestly, that's the part I think is the most ridiculous. At his age, and for what the notice was about, it's just like saying, "Here's a notice to inform you that your child is acting like a normal child and wasn't listening during part of class. What are you going to do about it?" That's just stupid and teaches your child he's a bad kid for being normal.

.

Your question is one of the biggest reasons I'm homeschooling our son. I want learning to be an enjoyable experience. He's not in the military - it's kindergarten! 5yo children are supposed to move, wiggle, talk, even interrupt. Not that we excuse it, but we expect to help guide him in learning manners. I don't expect perfection from a growing human being! But I do expect him to be treated like a human being , not a robot.

In my opinion, if your son wasn't listening during lessons, it's because it's either too boring or he's not motivated by the subject. Why beat him up over it and admonish him for feeling what he's feeling? Our son is the same age, and there's no way I'd send him into an environment that destroys the love of learning. I hate seeing the light get dimmed in children around this age. There are alternatives.

I think that's a bit subjective anyway... listening is a cognitive thing that can't be objectively measured. I mean when I'm in class I could be staring straight ahead at the teacher and thinking about what I need to do when I leave, my grocery list, etc. Or I could be staring at the wall and taking in everything my teacher says. I agree that in Kindergarten they are just learning how school works and stuff. I think it's a bit brief to be freaking out that a child is allegedly not listening. If I had a dollar for every time I saw a kiddo spacing out when I work in a classroom I'd be one rich lady! I agree, it's a little much for someone who's new to school. Good luck w/Mrs. Grumpy, I think we expect so much and forget kids are kids!

It sounds like a bit much to me.

I see you've already made a response, but I'm just getting around to checking these posts. My son just started kindergarten, and I teach at the school he is attending. I know my son. I know that he is strong headed (like his mother). I know that when he digs in, there's no budging him. I'm of the opinion that 1) children are listening and not being compliant and chosing to not do what they have been asked or 2) spacing out (another poster mentioned thinking about grocery lists, etc.). In preschool when my son would "get into trouble." I was very clear that I did not want the teacher to tell me my child "wasn't listening." I believe he full well hears what is being said to him but he doesn't want to do what is asked of him. He has his own mind--he's not always going to do what he's told. Frustrating, but that's the way he is. I'm not going to come to his rescue.

So first, I'd want to know what the teacher's definition of "not listening" is. Then as another poster mentioned, I would be in the classroom observing. Often it is group dynamics. If there is a child or children that is distracting him or he is distracting, move him to another class or school. If he's not doing as he's asked, because he doesn't want to be told...well let him suffer any consequences--natural or logical.

Good luck. I know you're gonna need it and a lot of patience, cause I sure do :-)

My daughter's kindergarten has a similar policy. Each day we sign her agenda that shows her behavior for that day. I haven't minded it. She was doing great, but on the fourth day of school she had a comment from the teacher in the agenda that said she was talking to a friend and not listening to directions. That evening the teacher called (I was really surprised by this!) and was very nice and asked if my daughter liked kindergarten and explained the situation and it gave me a chance to let her know that I had talked to my daughter about it. She has had good behavior since then. This policy might be school-wide, not just your son's teacher. Don't worry about it too much. I hope he starts enjoying school soon!

No, I agree with you. My granddaughter's kindergarten teacher used to tell me the same things. I would discipline her at night, but it didn't seem to do any good. He always had complaints. I too thought that kindergarten is where they are learning how to be in school and that it was a bit much for them to expect her to know what they expected. But I went on her field trip with them that year and discovered that no matter who was messing up, the teacher always called out my granddaughter's name. I came to realize that it wasn't her who was messing up all the time, but for some reason hers as the name he called out so in his mind at the end of the day she had not behaved well because he had called out her name so much. I bet your son's

some teachers are "drill sergeants" and others aren't.

talk with the teacher and see what is going on. Our Kindergarten class, in fact all of our classes, have responsibility charts and are being held accountable for their actions. And in Kindergarten there's a lot going on and it's all new to most of the them...

Talk to the teacher and see what is going on...if the personalities don't match - talk to the principal to see if you can get him moved....