Kindergarten and Cur-off Dates

I would allow him to enter as the district rules. If I had it do over again, I would have held my son another year.

If you push for him to go, he will always be the youngest in his class because other will have waited. Please look at other options and don't push him. For years he will be with an older crowd.....think ahead.

L.
www.nosickvisits.com

Hi C.,

Many of my friends had the same issue and they had the school test their children to see if they were ready. It's not so much of the academics they are testing for but the social readiness. They will have him talk to the school psychologist and they will also do a little academic testing. You have to really push them to test. Good luck.

As a NYC kindergarten teacher, I personally believe that no child should enter school before turning 5. At this age, even a few weeks can make a difference in academic & social readiness, especially with boys. Be thankful he missed the cutoff...he will probably fair much better being the oldest in the class rather than the youngest. Just find ways to provide him with various learning activities & interactive social situations until he goes to kindergarten next year.

There's a really good chance that the cut-off date is written into the Board of Education's policy which means essentially it is a law. "Policy" is exactly what it sounds like- the rules. You wouldn't try to negotiate a speed limit, right?

Cut-off dates really aren't arbitrary. You are talking about sending a child to K who won't turn five until the year is 1/2 over! Where I grew-up the cut-off was September 1st, which in my opinion was better than December, but things have changed regarding preschool exposure. Private K is expensive, but what about looking into private preschool. Your son should be eligible for a preschool program.

I know this stinks, but there isn't anything you can say that will change the cut-off date.

**I am just adding something here after reading another posting... No Child Left Behind has nothing to do with grade level retention or school cut-off dates. Also, the comment about needing a warm body to bring in money is pretty harsh- Kindergarten teachers are very special individuals who deserve a little respect here ladies. Could you do it? I know I couldn't!**

You seem to be confusing a couple issues here. You choose to live in a community where you taxes are high; probably because the school system is a good quality. I pay very high taxes too and I'm also paying tuition for 3 kids in college. Taxes and school are to different issues. Period.

Kindergarden is not daycare that you don't pay for. They set the cut off date for a reason. I don't know why you are under the impression that you should be able to bully them into putting your son into kindergarden to help your financial situation right now.

If your son is bored at home then you need to figure out how to stimulate him. How about getting involved in some play groups? Maybe you local park and rec department has classes for him? How about pee wee sports? Take him out to the park a couple times a week.

Sometimes children aren't ready for kindergarte at age 4. Give him the extra year in pre-school and he'll never have problems adapting. This cut off could be a blessing in disguise.

i know it's a pain.. but don't rush him. my daughter missed the cutoff by 4 days.. i put her in an excellerated pre-school... for 5 days.. she did great.. now she is in 5th grade.. top of her class- one of the oldest... and is in all excellerated classes... she is great.. i think had i pushed the school to take her.. and she was reading at age 4.. so she was more than ready.. i don't think she would be in the top part of her class now. she is smart.. and even smarter because she is one of the oldest in the class.. smartest and a born leader. don't push him.. they grow to fast and go to school for such a long time.. being the youngest in the class isn't the best especially as they get older.. find an appropriate preschool or prek good luck

The reason you pay high school taxes is because the school system hires excellent teachers and is probably a great place to learn. So they have strict rules and probably wont budge. I think you would probably do your son a disservice pushing him ahead. You can buy books and games to keep him stimulated.

I have read some of the other posts as well as went over what you wrote again. I believe the solution may lie in the quality of the care given at home. Both you and your husband work 9-5. Perhaps you can provide his daycare giver some fun learning activities to do with your son during the day in 15-30 minute intervals. There are wonderful things online you can printout and use. He can color, learn his alphabets and numbers, learn to write his name, draw. He can also do great things with a set of building blocks, he can count them, learn his colors, learn how to spell those colors.

All I'm saying there may be opportunities for him to have a fuller experience with his usual caretaker if possible.

You may also want to consider getting your daycare provider connected with other moms in the area to set play dates with you son to help with his social skills.

I hope this helps with your situation in case you get no cooperation with the Board of Education.

I would have to agree with those who state that waiting is best. When I was a child, the cutoff date was Oct. 1 and I missed it by 25 days. My parents sent me to stay with my grandparents where the cutoff was Nov.1 so I started Kindergarten at age 4. It was the worst possible thing they could have done. I never felt like I belonged with my peers because I was the youngest. While I could hold my own academically I was afraid to because the others seemed so much more secure. I had trouble keeping up socially and once in HS couldn't do the same things as my classmates, such as drive, because I was so much younger. Years later, I am a 5th grade teacher and I see the difference with the older kids vs those who started too young. Those who are the correct age are so much more ready for the challenges of school, especially the social challenges than those children who are just turning 10 as school begins. Remember, kindergarten is not middle school. The social expectations in middle school are unique and it takes a well adjusted child to navigate this time. You need to give your son every advantage and that includes giving him time to mature in all areas. My own siblings saw how difficult it was for me and when their children were facing the same situation, they both opted to hold them for the year til they were 6. Good luck.

This is a tough situation. I'd be interested to hear how things work out. I doubt you will not be able to "get" the school to "accept" him. Stop thinking this is a personal rejection. It is not. Accept the fact that cut off dates and regulations about the age at which a district accepts kindergarten kids are rules set in place for everyone, and that if an exception is made for you, it will have to be made for everyone. Yes, it stinks that you have to pay for additional child care and preschool, etc. etc. I was in that same position. However, was that really a surprise? You have had other children go through the district, so you were probably familiar with the cut off date prior to this fall, right? Or did the district just suddenly change the cut off date? Sometimes that happens, and it is really inconvenient for families. I feel for you. Good luck.

Hello C.,
I completely understand your situation, but I feel that you should not push for the school to accept your son. I work for the Dep. of Education (in an Elementary school 6 years). Believe me when I tell you that they have those cut off dates in place for a reason. So many times we have students that are placed in a kindergarten class (although they've passed the cut off date) and it really does do them more harm than good. Many times they are behind academically and emotionally as well. What ends up happening many times is that it affects them in a negative way (when they realize they can't keep up with the work). Many times they are held over at the end of the school year, because they simply couldn't make it. Those same children I see them doing wonderful when they are placed when they should be-- because they are older than the kids in the grade and more advanced. My suggestion is if you feel that he can handle see if they could test him, but make sure you are doing this for the right reasons because like I said before you don't want this decision to affect him in the long run. Try a pre-k class (find out if his zone school has a pre-k), head start or a day care with pre-k teachings. Again, please really think about this. I would hate to see you push him because of how you guys are doing economically (although I understand your financial situation)and not because he is really ready. Good luck.

See if they will do the Kindergarten testing with him and then When he passes with flying colors ask the teacher that did the testing about helping getting him in. It is only one day! Many schools will make exceptions if he child comes really close to the cut of and he sure comes really close!!!! A.

Our's is 10/15 & my daughter will be 6 in Nov - I think that she is going to just have a huge review of the things she has learned throughout pre-school.

On the other hand our oldest daughter was born on 2/6 so she missed the cut-off as well. Her pre-k teacher wanted us to have her tested to go to kindergarten early. I am glad that my husband and I decided not to because I'm quite certain she would be having a much more difficult time now. But it wasn't like she missed it by one day.

With your son's birthday being so close to the cut off, can't they test him to be sure he's ready then make an exception. I know the whole "if we make one exception then we'll have to make others" thing, but you're talking just one day. I would even contact the superintendent of the school system. Good luck!

Hi C.
Try the homeschool option. I recommend it highly. Others do it and work full time. You just have to work out a system. You can't fight their policies, but you wouldn't have to report to the school so the homeschool option is an easy one.
With the help of the rest of the family having 4-6 hours of school is a simple option. In that 6 hours you include play time(the swing set), art(coloring pages, knowing colors and what colors combine to make others--- I mixed their drinks to show blue and yellow make green), arithmetic(using manipulatives that includes puzzles), reading(letters, sounds, and blends), music(singing and listening, or trying and recognizing different instruments)--- Get dot-to-dots, mazes, games for the age group
and the like. Instead of tv, do the above. Anything he learns will be more than if you didn't do it. All mine read before kindergarten, and it didn't hurt any of them. All mine knew simple finger math before school.
Does that make sense?
K. -- SAHM married 39 years --- Adult children 38, coach; 33, lawyer, married with son; twins 19 in college.

i remember feeling the same way - my sons were both born within a couple of days after the cut off date as well. I was told that it would be better in the long run to be the oldest in the class, esp. since they are boys.

I was also frustrated. My kids are bright, too. I must say, though, tough as it was that year, it did turn out to be the best thing for them to be the oldest in the long run. I'm afraid I don't have any suggests for what to do to, but good luck..

Is there an appeal process through your school district? Many districts are strict on their cut off policies - if they make an acception for one child it opens the door to a whole other can of worms. But in this economy - where his bday is so close to the cut off would they consider his admission? If not, what about preK - did he go through a program already?

I know it is frustrating, however as an owner of a preschool with a full day kindergarten program holding children back (depending on the child)is not always a bad thing. When you say he is bored at home do you mean he is not in any type of schooling, pre-k, etc? I know my town has a pre-k program that is run by the recreation department. It is very affordable and can also help to prepare children for kindergarten. My town only has half day kindergarten with a cut off date of Oct 1. They do however make exception for students who attend my school because 1. It is a full day program. 2. It is an advanced Montessori program with some first grade curriculum. So they have given me a cut-off date of Dec 31. However, surrounding towns do not always allow them to advance. There is a chance these children may have to repeat kindergarten in their program. I did notify the superintendent of some of the surrounding towns and they were willing to test the children, and advance them if they felt they were ready. So, in some towns they will be flexible, but most are not. The reason why I say it is not always a bad thing to hold children back is because most times with maturity boys can benefit by starting school later and also for sports. When they are older they do seem to have a better advantage. Check out your town for options with less costly preschools. I think trying to get him into some type of program to help socialize him and help him to prepare for kindergarten is your best shot if the superintendent will not budge. Good luck!!

Dear C.,
Try not to let your current frustration dictate what may be best for your son. The pre-school idea may be best. The schools do this for a reason; my nephew was born in late November but was allowed to enter kindergarten with kids some almost a year older, and he suffered terribly, not so much with academics but with behavior, because at that age one year can make a huge difference!
My sister and her husband went through terrible anguish before deciding to 'hold him back' a year. He is now in the second grade, happy, and at the top of his class.
I seem to remember from my own school that the youngest kids in our class seemed to have the most trouble, even extending into high school.
Maybe it's for the best.
Best of luck
S.

Unfortunately, rules are rules. If they make an exception for Dece. 2 what about the kids on December 3 and 4. Why don't you get him into aan all day pre k
pogram if he is bored. I am sure this is not what you
wwanted to hear. Sorry about errors, having computer issues.

C.,

Put it in writing, and make sure you mention those outrageous taxes the second time around. Bring up all the factors why you want him in - he's obviously of age, he will be far too old for the next group, and if I am not mistaken, Kindergarten is optional, not required (at least in NYS, you may have to check). If they want their warm body for their tax boost (or whatever the heck it is they get $$ for) - just remind them. Also, you have the option of another district within your area, if I am not mistaken (may be, if you are not in NYS). It might entail your driving some though.

Good luck!
M.

all i can say is i feel your pain. you can keep trying to fight the school, but the school would prob.win. the schools go by the no kid left behind which i feel works for some cases but not all. see if your health coverage covers some kind of preschool reimbursement. any little bit helps.

Schools are so strict about cutoff dates! I don't know if they'll let your son in, so what other classes could he do this year? A music or gym class, library activities, sports, coloring and make lots of playdates? Before you know it, a year will pass!

And what about finding a private school for 2 days a week?

Speak to the superintendent of the district. Ask them to do the pre-K/K screening to see how your son performs. With his birthday only being day off, I'm sure he'll perform just like the others in the class.

I can so identify with your situation, because I went through it with my son. The cut-off here is Sept.1. My son missed it by 21 days. I wound up looking up lots of articles on kindergarten "redshirting" and the laws of our state. I discovered that "redshirting" is ok if the child isn't ready for school, but damaging if the child is ready or gifted. I also discovered that our state's cut-off age is 1 year younger than the age the school uses, but I couldn't do anything about it since the law states that the school board is the one to decide on the cut-off date and age. I wound up putting my son in a catholic school. Just this year his school decided to have him skip 6th grade and put him in honors science, also so they send him to high school for 9th grade math. One of the most hateful things a public school employee said to me was that "it's better to hold boys back a year, because they mature slower than girls." (So irrelevant!) The catholic school employee said, after he took the entrance test,"We have to admit him, because he's too advanced and will be too much of a distraction if he gets bored."

The sad part about the whole thing is that kids from out of state can go right into the grade they need to be as long as they transfer in 2nd grade. That means that in the adjacent state the kids start kindergarten when they are 4, but here they start when they are 5. If a new kid from out of state is going into 2nd grade, then they will be in 2nd grade here. The cut-off doesn't apply to them.

What this all means is that you might have to research to see if you can do anything. If you can't afford a private school or can't get a scholarship for one, then think about free cyber schooling or homeschooling.

Hi There,
Try looking into pre-schools. Most Pre-schools/nursery schools have full day options now, and he will be with other kids his age (there are a lot of fall babies out there!). As a pediatric Occupational Therapist, I have worked in pre-schools in NY. I personally think that 4 and 1/2 is too young for most kindergarteners, and that the cut off date should be moved to Sept. (which I have heard is starting to happen more) Most 4 year olds are just not ready for the demands of kindergarten these days... and even if they are socially/cognitively ready now, doesn't mean that they won't start to fall behind in the future. I have a fall baby (she will be 4 in late Nov.) and we used to live in NY. I had already decided I would not send her to kindergarten until she was 5 (even though she is a bright, social child, I just thought it would be better for her in the future). However, we moved back to MA already and the cutoff is Sept. 1st which means she will not be able to start until she is 5 anyway. Keep in mind that if he starts now, if you move, or go to a different school system at some point, he could be the youngest by far, and may have several kids in his class that are a year older than him, which could be hard for him in the futre. Just something to think about.

Hi C.,

To the best of my knowledge most schools use a cut off date of Jan 1. You could try checking the dates of the surrounding communities, if they are different than yours, you could bring that to their attention.

Did your son attend any preschool programs? Perhaps a recommendation from a preschool teacher stating he is ready for kindergarten will help.

Also, rather than dealing with the school, try working with the Board of Ed.

Good luck.

Hi C.,

I am sure that economically, it is stressful to contemplate another full year where your son is not in kindergarten. But even if he is academically ready, physically, socially and emotionally he might benefit from waiting until next year. My younger son turned 5 last week, and he did start kindergarten in September. I can tell you he is very bright...already writing and almost reading and knows all his numbers and even does basic math....but he is one of the smallest in his class and very babyish compared to the other boys (most of whom were "held back" even with summer birthdays). He is surrounded by huge, confident, six year olds and he has changed because of that. If I had it to do over, I would not have pushed him in. I am seriously contemplating having him repeat kindergarten just to help him catch up physically, emotionally and socially. Even if it's not a huge deal now, I just keep thinking how much more confident he will be in the future if he's on the older side instead of the younger. Good luck with your choice.

Unfortunately the cut off dates are state laws. However he is eligible for UPK which is 5 days a week and free- this program is not income based so I would say ask your school district about that. Sorry.

Just a note for the first poster below, our town has a cut off of Oct 1 for kindergarten (when I was in Texas it was Sept 1), so if you are going to argue about surrounding towns be sure and check that out - it might work against you. In our case I'm glad because my son with his 10/18 birthday just wouldn't be ready for kindergarten yet. Good luck with your fight!

Our public school cut-off is October 1st. My daughter's birthday is early December. She was accepted and is attending a Catholic school where tuition is less than many/most private schools. Public school will probably not admit her to first grade next year, but once she successfully completes first grade they should accept her for second grade. I'll probably keep her in Catholic school for the structure and discipline, though.

School cut-off dates are arbitrary. Hawaii, it's August. New Jersey, it's October. New York, it's December. If the child is ready I say take them! One town near us routinely recommends boys re-doing Kindergarten if they're born later than April! YIKES!

You don't need to be Catholic to send your child to a Catholic school, but tuition may be higher if you don't contribute to the collection plate on Sunday.

If the district is adamant, then I would still follow the Kindergarten application process. If they refuse, then APPEAL the decision.

Be nice though but firm - state your reasons, find out what the curriculum is for Kindergarteners, assess his readiness, do your research and state your case (like a lawyer).

I myself, skipped Kindergarten. So, even if he enrolls next year and if he's smarter than his classmates, maybe he can move up at that time. Probably not what you want to hear though...(since it sounds like you want him in Kindergarten). :)

My daughter is 4, currently in 1/2 day pre-k program. I know the Kindergarten curriculum is pretty basic and I know she knows all that stuff AND MORE...so I'm curious if Kindergarten is all its cracked up to be anyways. But on the other hand, it's good for social interaction.

If it bugs you, then perhaps the pre-k program at the daycare can also assess his readiness for Kindergarten as well...
Maybe another option is a Montessori program where they teach according to a child's abilities and readiness to learn a subject, not by grade.

Good luck!

Does your school district offer pre-K? Where I live in NJ there is a free half day pre-K for 4 year olds. My son is only 3.5 now (Feb. birthday) and goes to a private preschool a few days a week (money is tight for us too and grandparents have helped with this).

I started Kindergarten at 4.5 (my birthday was 3 days before the cut off date of Dec. 31) and it was not a great experience. I was the youngest and smallest in the class, shy, had not had any preschool and my baby sister was born the week school started. My parents probably should have figured out it was going to be a bumpy year. Anyway, after a rough year of Kindergarten and a pretty good year of first grade we moved one town over and the school pressured my parents into having me repeat first grade. The way the school handled it could have been better but being the oldest instead of the youngest in the class was definitely an advantage.

I am not sure what your work/childcare situation is. Many daycares have a preschool type program for 3-4 year olds. Near us the local library has story hour and playgroup and occasionally other programs (all free). The YMCA has a lot of preschool classes (sports, art, cooking, swimming, etc)and they are not too expensive compared to most activites.

my dd is a 9/17 bday so while i have the option of sending her to school when she will be turning 5... i also have the option of NOT sending her yet. completely different situation.

in a way, i would be happy to not have the choice. it's a hard one to make at this point.

i agree with some of the pp's who recommend a preschool program/ adding in some educational aspects to his daycare routine. if that just won't work for you.... see if they will TEST HIM for kindergarten readiness.... maybe even have the childcare provider write a short letter regarding his "READINESS" for a kindergarten program.

if you feel really strongly about it... keep fighting!

hth
-d

See if there is a public pre-school option. I'm sure your son is very smart and would be able to keep up with his peers in the public Kindergarten, but in many states, the cut off is Oct 1, not Dec 1. Eventually, your son may not be able to keep up with the older kids, whether it is in the next couple of years lagging emotionally, or a little later being behind in sports. If you wait until the recommended start date, he can excel in all areas.

That doesn't solve your problem of what to do this year. Who has been caring for your son until now? If you do not have a public pre-school, can your son continue with the care he is in? If you feel that is not stimulating him mentally, you can always work with him in the evening. There are great workbooks you can buy for math, writing, reading at the K level, my sister-in-law gave my daughter some and she loves them.

Hope this helps, I know it's not the answer you are looking for.

I have to say that I agree with the school. You have to remember he would be going to school with kids that are a whole year older then him. And that year really does make a big difference, especially in boys. Both my newphews are Nov babies and did not do well. The oldest was not held back and has not done well in school pretty much his whole life. And instead of holding him back he's just been pushed through and ended up having to take summer school through most of jr high and high school. The youngest was held back in kindergarten and has excelled because of that. If his mom had waited the one yr to enroll him, he would never have had to be held back. What is your sons day schedule. Can he go to preschool? Or can you find free programs to get him into during the day. I know the library in many towns has free programs, look there. But I would wait the year. And this way he'll be better prepared for next year.