I am so very frustrated right now! We have five kids; one little one at home, and four little ones in elementary school. My problem is, getting ready for school in the morning. My little one stays asleep while the others get ready (that is, if she doesn't get woken up from them being so loud), and my husband is sleeping as well (he works until 2:30am and sleeps till the afternoon at least five days a week). So, most days I can get them to be at a reasonable noise level; they know their routine for getting up and out of bed, getting dressed, brush hair, medicine, eyeglasses/hearing aid, etc. But some days, which feels way too often to me, they will just be loud from the get go. Somebody doesn't want to wake up causing someone else to get loud with them, them there's squeeling/maybe yelling, then they start playing, and continuing to talk too loudly. On these days, it doesn't matter what I say. I will try to head things off by reminding them of why they need to stay quiet and if it continues either they will get a time out if its bad enough or something gets taken away or something. Most of the time its just me getting so frustrated that I could scream, but of course that wouldn't work out well. Once they are finished getting ready I Can get them to be quiet, its the part where I need them to finish getting ready to be out the door at a certain time for school, that's a problem. Not only do I not want them to wake up the little one or hubby, but I don't like how frustrating it can be sometimes. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!!!!
==update== okay so when I wrote this I was very upset it seemed kind of rant-ish more than anything. But now the kids are at school and I've calmed down, slightly. I know that they are just kids, and I don't expect them to be silent the whole morning while getting ready. I guess my feeling of helplessness is more of then problem. When these mornings happen it usually catches me by such surprise that I feel 'un-armed'. Most of the time I will remind them the night before that we are going to get ready nicely in the morning and they are happy to agree. In the morning they will get up and possibly start to get a little too loud or play before being dressed but I am usually able to get them back on track just enough without anyone getting upset. The mornings that they wake up with problems are when I feel like I have nothing in my artillary bank, empty threats, over and over again. Any suggestions on how to get them to stop doing what they're doing at that moment (without interfering with getting ready) or a suggestion for what I can do later as punishment for a bad morning and to remind them for the next time.
Oh yeah, I like the suggestions for the earplugs but I can't have him wear them cause then he would'nt hear our little one while I take them to school. Our house is two level, the bedrooms are all upstairs, but sometimes my hubby falls asleep on the couch downstairs (cause of his late hours), and our little one is asleep upstairs in our room. Please keep giving me suggestions, I am willing to try anything at this point!!! Thank You.
Wow you guys all had some really good ideas. I am cracking up at the banana in the mouth idea, just hilarious! I do see the intention of making it into a game but I am picturing my children quietly running around in the morning because they all have a banana tied to their mouths, hahaha! I am also thinking about the white noise machines, I wonder if they cost much, as we are very strapped on cash, maybe ebay. good idea.
I wake mine in shifts. Each one has 15 minutes in the bathroom alone, and then they move on to breakfast, then packing time, then to the car to read and wait for the rest of us. It keeps them away from each other. Mine are older, but some combo may work for you. I tend to get the most difficult one up last. I also have one who showers and sleeps in her clothes, it makes getting ready for her much easier.
M.
You've gotten some good advice. I'm wondering if it would work - although maybe take more time - to get each one of them up a few minutes apart, so that each child could get ready alone. That might help to alieve some of the noise. Also, if you're in a 2-level house, I like the idea of them getting dressed downstairs, which could also be more easily accomplished one at a time. The only other thing I can think of is, if you're in a ranch house, having another door installed in the hall to the bedrooms to keep the noise out of that part of the house.
I don't know why you think you're going to keep 4 small children quiet -ever! I always sleep with a fan because I like the white noise, so maybe you could do the same in your bedroom for your husband. You can buy white noise machines on Amazon too. You could put one in the baby's room as well.
White noise in the baby's room and earplugs for the hubby! Trying to keep 4 little ones quiet with all the hub-bub in the mornings is a losing battle. Work it from the other direction. They only get a few minutes of rowdy in the morning before they have to settle in at school, so let them have it. It's not worth the trouble to send them off for the day with so much anxiety.
they are just being kids. you can get one of those wave machines or other ones that have what they call white noise. it actually does work to drown out other noises. Additionally, apart from the little one, can you husband sleep with earplugs? it's sounds like why should he have to do that, then again.. kids are kids.. allow them laughter and fun.... one of these days when the house is EMPTY you just might miss it...
so for now... earplugs and the wave machine is what I suggest..
Make it a game! I don't know how old your school kids are, but if you can make it more fun for them, they're more likely to go along with it.
You are at your limit in the morning. So do not worry so much. If the smallest child wakes up just wrap him or her in a blanket and strap the child in the car seat to ride along with you.
Come home and relax with a cup of tea or coffee. Do not try to keep the house like it's about to be photographed for a magazine. Do something for yourself one day a week like go to an exercise class at the Y which has a childcare center.
Six people rely on you so you have got to do some things that give you a break too.
They are little, so verbal reminders (especially after they start escalating) won't help. I would suggest the following:
-Make signs that say "Quiet Shhhhh" with a little picture on it. The night before, make it a game and have the kids "stick" the signs everywhere they may be needed... bedrooms, hallway, bathroom, kitchen, wherever.
- Tell them that as a group they get one reminder to keep their voices down. Practice an acceptable volume. You can make a game out of this too (I used to do it with my students)- have them be "too loud, too quiet and then just right". Practice over and over again so they can hear and feel the difference.
- If they need a second reminder, go into "silence" mode. No talking, at all. Don't loose your temper, just come up with a nonverbal signal that lets them know that the talking priviledge is over.
It's a multisensory way of getting your point across. I used this technique with a classroom full of first graders and it worked like a charm for the teacher!
What we have found very helpful are loud fans! I'd put one in the little one's room and one near hubby's side of the bed. Just be sure to turn off hubby's before you leave so he can hear while you're gone.
As for the older ones, set up a reward system. Once they are 100% ready, they can watch tv. This will both encourage them to work quickly and keep them quiet when they are done. Or you could use little marble jars. Every morning, each kids starts with 2-3 marbles. Take one away every time you have to get on them. After school, 3 marbles means they get a certain reward... 2 means they get a different reward... 1 means they break even... None means they do an extra chore or act of service for the one they woke up. They will soon learn to govern themselves in the morning, and your job will get much easier!
Are you in an upstairs/downstairs type of house? If so....put their clothes & everything downstairs and just herd them down the stairs when they get up so they can get dressed, eat, etc. downstairs and white noise is a good thing!
Keeping 4 elementary school age kids quiet sounds like bailing out a leaking boat with a strainer. Good luck!
I would also add that the night before I would get projects ready for the morning which cannot be done until after the regular routine is done. Puzzles, coloring, etc. My kids are early risers and often have at least an hour in between being ready and leaving for school. I try to have something at the table for them to do rather than cartoons (although some days that works too). They just need distractions. :)
PS I would also let your husband know that if he falls asleep on the couch there's a good chance he is going to get woke up so it would be better for him to go to bed instead of the couch. Really it's not fair to the kids if they have to be quiet downstairs b/c he chose not to walk upstairs for bed - even with late hours working.
What about your husband wearing ear plugs and then plunking the monitor down by the couch before you go off to school. Also, you'd be surprised at how much you can hear while wearing earplugs. I often go downstairs and wear earplugs so that I can get a good night's rest while my husband takes over for a night a week or whatever and I still wake up when the babies cry...
When I have problems with my (1) daughter, I usually pick her up and she will say, "Oh Mommy can we go here?" and I say, "Nope". She is sad of course and then wants to know why and I will remind her of her incident and tell her I will remind her next time so she can be good so we can go do special things. I usually don't have to remind her and she brings it up herself. She usually just says, "I'm being good so I can have ice cream (or whatever) after school". I am not sure this will work with a larger crowd.
could you hire a teenager or nearby adult to come over and help you for just 1-2 hours in the AM. With a little help you might just be able to keep everyone calm and happy :)
I like Nancy's answer.
Also, how about rewarding good behavior? The quietest child gets a treat, toy or surprise after they get home from school.
And can you get get anything ready the night before? Whatever you can get ready the night before, I would get ready. Enlist the help of each older child. For instance, they get their shoes ready, clothes picked out, lunch, breakfast ideas etc. If they are too young, do it yourself.
Can you have the get dressed in another part of the house far away from your where your husband is sleeping? Also, can they use a guest bathroom far away from your sleeping hubby where they pee, brush their teeth, wash their hands etc?
I like the idea of ear plugs for hubby too.
Make it a game, tie bandanas around their mouths and reward the one who doesn't remove the bandana. It could be a pretend game too, tigers stalking prey, indians stalking buffalo, coppers hunting robbers, snakes catching mice. You would have to moderate use of this to keep it fun, but maybe if they get into practice they'll be quieter.
Our daughter is an incredibly light sleeper, so when she was a baby we invested in a good quality sound machine. It blocks out the neighbors dog, our two dogs, my son, and the normal day to day noises outside of her bedroom. We used to have such a hard time getting her to have a good nap that we were all losing our minds. And, get your husband a good set of ear plugs so you don't have the stress of worrying about your four older kids waking him up. Or, a white noise machine for his bedroom, too. Your four kids don't need the stress of being shushed every morning before school. That sets them up for a hard day dealing with teachers and friends. It's easier to make the sleepers sleep better than to keep four kids quiet. Good luck!!!
You have some good answers, I agree with the wake them in shifts approach. I only have 2 (plus one on the way), but I will often do this. I also let mine watch a cartoon after they are dressed while I'm packing stuff up and getting things ready to go, especially if their dad is still asleep. Probably the hardest time for me to keep them quiet is getting shoes on and brushing hair (I have 2 little boys so we usually brush hair right before we leave). Sometimes I will give them a reward for being good (a treat in their lunch box or an m&m or something little). You could also try stickers each day they are quiet and have them earn a fun outing to the park or something on the weekend. But then you run into the problem of what to do if some of the kids were not quiet every day - do you actually not take them? I don't know, if they are like mine you probably want all of them to have that outside time to burn off energy! I would like to say congratulations for getting 4 kids to school on time :-)
Hello, OMG...lol. So i like how detailed you are. I totally understand how you feel. I have nothing compared to what you have but its crazy!! So i have a 4yr old and a 2 yr old and its is wild for me. Hubby is gone for a while so i actually have to do everything and it is a lot of work and i look forward to when i get to do just me without the kids. Not a lot of family help here. I think you maybe should talk to your hubby and let him know how you feel and how much work and stress it is sometimes. Maybe you guys can work something else out a compromiseable situation. If you need help in the am maybe he can wake up for a 1hr or 30 min in the am to help you then he can go back to sleep while everybody is gone and wake up a lil later than usual since he helped you. Or maybe before you go to bed you can do more preparation to help the am flow faster. I would just keep telling the kids over what you need them to do and what they should be doing to stay on track. Breathe girl!! LOL kids are great but they are a handful... its like you are glad when gone but then you miss em!
