Kids Making Friends. Did Anyone Try This Advice and Did It Work?

I'm not sure what you are looking for. I have one daughter and 3 sons and have noticed the differences. My daughter always has had problems with handling more than one friend at a time. I still see it at 15. SHe always gravitates to one person and ignores everyone else. I've seen her going into overload with a group of girls. Right now she is dealing with a lot of girls with their own individual issues. It seems a lot of girls really don't know how to be nice to one another. The problem is my daughter is a good friend but she can be too honest and puts her feelings towards people out there. The people around her also do not come from the same values that I have tried to instill in her so she is trying to figure out how to handle that too. I do think my daughter is delayed in her social development. I do have one child on the autism spectrum and sometimes I wonder if my daughter is on it too. Possibly asperger's. Sports and clubs are a great thing to be involved in and if you can do girl scouts, I would do that. You can also talk to your school and see if they do social groups. I know our school did it for anyone. My son did it not my daughter though. I wish I would have done it with her. Watch your daughter and if you notice anything, talk to your pediatrician who should recommend a behavioral psychologist who can test her. It's tough out there for all kids. Most kids aren't with their parents enough to be taught social behavior. SO they learn in whatever environment they are in the most.

Kids also need to be taught who are "safe friends", friendship do's and don'ts, etc. There is a book I just bought Abbie called THE GIRLS BOOK OF FRIENDSHIP subtitled How To Be the Best Friend Ever. This has all kinds of ideas, too, such as making your own friendship coat of arms, how to ask forgiveness, "Real friends or Fake friends?", How to make up after an argument, etc.

Lots of learned skills as well as fun ideas to do with friends. Regardless, every child needs to understand their own value and self worth and whether someone likes, dislikes, has other friends, etc. should have NO bearing on this. If you are secure, none of this matters.

Talk about why they do or don't want this child into the group, make sure THEY understand whether this is a good decision (fake friend) or whether this is being mean, rude, etc. Kids need to also learn to put themselves in the place of others and see things from their perspective, too. How would they feel if they were being treated this way or that way?

Sometimes, in the triangles, it's the combo of kids, not necessarily the number. If you've got an insecure or controlling child, she can make the others miserable. Evaluate the personalities of the kids. Sometimes that makes a difference. I've been a nanny, coached, taught school, etc. and know that the combo DOES make a a difference.

Put nurturing children w/ someone who needs a little attention, etc.

When you have something of value, there is nothing wrong w/ sharing and that INCLDUES friends!

Oh, absolutely! I know even having 3 daughters how rough it is when they're all here. Things run much more smooth when I only have 2 here--it doesn't matter if it's the twins or the older one and one of the twins. We'd tried having a few friends over for my older daughter a few times and the more there were, the less merry it was. One friend at a time is the less dramatic approach, for this household atleast.

Oh is that soooooo right on the money!!!
When having a birthday party I always had an even number of kids, especially for sleepovers as they tend to pick sides.
Girls don't share friends. If I had one girl over then I turned the others away until another day.
Invite one girl to play from her class, then another at different times. Middle school years are tough too, girls then get mean. My daughter is loving high school though, things have really become much more smooth, where friendships are concerned.

From my own experience, play dates that involve 3 kids always turns out to be disasterous. There always seems to be one kid who ends up being left out. I probably read about half of your other post. I wonder if getting your daughter involved in some after school activities would be good for her social life at school. Look at what she is interested in -- gymnastics, dance, art, soccer -- and enroll her in one of those programs. Not only will she be involved in a team activity with like-minded children, but hopefully that self confidence she will receive from being an expert at a particular activity will carry forward into her day-to-day school life. And hopefully some of those kids that she is getting together with at school will also be attending school with her so she can develop some comraderie there.