For an elementary school aged child's birthday party, if the guest's mother asks "What would Johnny like?" Is it impolite to say, "Well, he wants an Ipad, so cash towards that fund would be great."
Just curious.
I am not the hostess. I am the guest's mom. I asked "Johnny's" mom what he would like and she said "We are requesting cash for his iPad that he wants." I thought it was a bit of an off request.
No, I would never ask for cash. Actually, I am the kind of person that would simply say, "You don't need to bring anything." If they persist, "He would love anything you brought."
One never asks for cash.
Ever.
Not in elementary school, not for a wedding, not for graduation. Not ever.
I consider asking for gift cards "to put toward" something the child wants to be as tacky a request as asking for cash.
In a guest/party situation, yes, not okay. (Different if the grandparents/aunt and uncle were asking BTW.)
I wouldn't say it that bluntly. I would say "he is saving up to get an ipad." But, I would also suggest a couple of actual toys, games or books that he likes, since some parents will not want to give cash or gift cards.
Yep - rude. That's a family gift. Not a classmate kid-to-kid gift.
Eww...tacky and rude!!
Cash is best left to family or older children. I would make some reasonably-priced suggestions, like "Johnny likes Legos and dinosaurs. I would prefer he not receive playdough."
Rude and tacky category
yes, it is impolite.
I would say yes, very tacky. Grandparents maybe, classmates never.
I have heard:
"_____ is saving money for a Nintendo DS, so a gift card to Toy's R Us so she can purchase it would be great."
But not cash....
That is fine for family but not a kids party. They are kids, they like to see their gift opened.
Asking for cash is always tacky.
Beyond tacky. Sorry.
You could say, "he's saving for something big at the Apple Store and he likes baseball cards.....and Legos..."
I would only do this with close family, and only for a life event, like a graduation, or a milestone birthday, like a sweet sixteen or a Bar/Bat Mitzvah.
So no, I wouldn't do it for a child's birthday party.
Besides, some people are on a very tight budget, and they might be embarrassed at only the small amount of cash they have to give. For example, I used to stock up on kids' presents when I found good things on clearance, and some of those gifts cost $5 or less!
Well, yes. It's tacky to ask for cash from guests. Yes, I know everybody does it. Within our family we do it - at Christmas, for instance, my husband's wish list always includes contributions to the football season ticket fund. But what may be all right within a family (or circle of very close friends) may not be all right outside it.
Think of some other suggestions to give the parents of the party guests; maybe the grandparents, aunties, and uncles might get together to give the iPad.
i wouldnt say that. i would also tell the things he likes ie- johnny likes things that have to do with science, he enjoys these books, his favorite character is so and so. things like that.
i think family would be the right ones to say that he would really like an ipad and wants money to help him save for one
This.is.very.very.very.very...... tacky. And totally rude.to.say.to.an.invited.guest.
It is not only rude, but obnoxious to say to any invited guest or whomever is expected to get a child a gift.
My daughter was invited to a sleep-over (birthday girl was turning 12), where the girl said she wanted a Visa gift card. I have to admit that I was a bit taken aback, and did find it tacky, but on the other hand, it WAS easy to shop for. ;)
I would say he loves "x" or ss saving for "x" at target, best buy or where ever. They can get gift cards. If they don't want to get a toy.
I think it would only work for grandparents and such.
However.... if he gets gift cards my hubby and I have "bought" gift cards from our son so he can use the cash at a store he wants. He got some Target gift cards, but there were some things he wanted online so we used a credit card online and then he gave us the gift cards.
It is possible that he could end up returning some gifts for the cash if he wants to, but he will probably decide that he likes the gifts his friends choose!
Not to guests. Family sure, even to a point. My daughter is turning 12. Her nana asked her what she would like. She said she would love art supplies and canvases... Or money! But no, would never suggest that to a friend. Buy the way, between my 16 and 11 year olds many parties over the years, alot of kids just put a $20.00 in a card. I wouldn't say anything he may get money anyways from friends.
I think its impolite. I would say a general idea of what he would like or if he is really into Legos, I would say Johnny is interested in Legos and other building games. But I know he would appreciate any gift from you.
I think 2kidmama's response just below mine is perfect and would advise you to use her response if people are asking you what "Johnny" would like. However, if you were the one asking and wonder if the mother was rude, I don't think she was at all. You asked, and she answered. She wasn't suggesting an amount to donate or anything. Whenever I ask what my 13 yo brother-in-law wants for Christmas, his mom always says he'd love money to buy video games. I want to get him what he wants, which is why I ask, and I'm happy to give exactly what he'd like. Now if you DIDN'T ask and she offered the gift suggestion unsolicited, then I would say that is rather presumptous and tacky.
Just say he is saving for something so you know he'd love cash. Then say if you want some other ideas he is also into x and x.
I know that I buy and stash really nice gifts when I see them on clearance so we are able to give something nicer than we could generally afford. So if a mom said that to me, it would stress me out and put me in an uncomfortable spot especially depending on how well my child knows the birthday boy or girl. I'd be worried about what is an appropriate amount to give and would worry about offending the parents. So probably wouldn't ask for cash. We have so much stuff in our house that we only have "friend" parties every other year and have even asked for people to bring canned food instead of gifts for the local food bank etc. because we just really don't need anything!
I see I am not in the majority here, but most of my kids friends ask for gift cards now, they are 10 and older. They want to buy what they want or go shopping, not open gifts. My daughter gives cash more than gifts now unless they tell us a gift. I got a lot of cash at parties growing up too - I don't see what is so rude about it, depending on how you phrase it.
