Keeping Sick Relative Away from Newborn

Updated on September 03, 2010
E.H. asks from Glens Falls, NY
20 answers

Hi,

I'm due on Friday, and I'm a little concerned for my little guy. His aunt has mono and she plans on staying with my in-laws at my house to care for my older daughter while I'm in the hospital, and visiting us at the hospital after he's born. Do I need to be concerned about her spreading the disease to my newborn?

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So What Happened?

I just talked to the pediatrician and she said that it was okay to let the aunt visit at our home, as long as she doesn't kiss anyone or hold the baby. Apparently saliva is the only way it is transmitted. We just have to make sure all of her dinnerware and glassware go through the dishwasher to sterilize them. Thanks everyone for your responses.

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R.Q.

answers from New York on

If it were me, I would ask her not to visit until she was better. If she does visit, here are some extra precautions to take, just in case. Ask her to wear a mask whenever in close proximity to you or the baby (you never know when a cough, sneeze or hearty laugh will creep up--it'll also remind her "no kissing"). When she (or anyone that's been with her) enters the room, ask them to wash their hands (more than 30 seconds with soap and running water) in addition to any kind of sanitizer that you may use.

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G.B.

answers from Tulsa on

My friend's daughter had something contagious when the new baby was born and the doc told the mom to let the little girl give her brother kisses but only on the back of his head or other out of the way places until she wasn't contagious anymore. She wasn't allowed to be right in the babies face either but felt better since she wasn't totally not allowed to touch him.

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A.D.

answers from Jackson on

You need medical recommendations. Contact your OB & the children's Pediatrician/Family Doctor. Write down the recommendations and call your in-laws and spread the news. Ultimately, you may need to make different arrangements for your daughter if Auntie is contagious & won't leave Gd.ma's house.

My sister-in-law posted an piece of typing paper with black magic marker print stating: If you have a cold, flu or flu symptoms, an infection (mono, strep, ear infection etc...) please postpone your visit until a later date.

We Thank you,

Wishing you a happy birthing & home coming.
A.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.M.

answers from Washington DC on

By all means talk to the pediatrician!!! I presume the aunt has been cautioned by her doctor about how the disease is spread. But you need ot know to keep both your kids safe. I uspect it is more a shared saliva type of disease, so no sharing cups, spoon, etc. But I would ask her not to kiss too. I think merely being in the room with you is fine, but I owuld be sure you know the boundaries and ask her to abide by them BEFORE she some to your home or the hospital. I am not sure i owuld even let her hold the baby for awhile because I would worry abotu a cough or a sneeze. I woudl be very cautious.

C.R.

answers from Dallas on

Yes, you should be concerned. You should never knowingly have illness around a newborn. Even if nothing happened, it would still be a terrible stress for you to deal with. I'm guessing (though I could be wrong) that you are a first time mom. Telling people no, is just part of being a good parent. You'll have to learn that you sure can't keep everyone happy all the time and it's too much grief to even try. Feelings get hurt sometimes, that's life. Be nice and firm about it. Leave no open doors trying to be nice about it. Be the mom and defend your little one and keep him safe from harm ") and you from added stress.
Congratulations to you!
C.

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L.C.

answers from Dayton on

Mono, or mononucleosis, is spread through direct contact with saliva. 50% of kids are infected before age 5.

Doctors and researchers aren't exactly sure how long someone with mono stays contagious after symptoms are gone. But it's generally believed that a person can spread the infection for many months after the symptoms are completely gone — some studies show as long as 18 months. But after that, it's very unlikely that a person will give someone else mono.

I got all that off a medical website. Everything I have read said that the symptoms in babies are mild, and babies have it a parents don't even know. I haven't read anything yet that says it is a danger, but the baby being a newborn and all would make me worry about compromising his immune system.

If it were me, I would ask her to stay home. Just because it probably won't be a big deal doesn't mean I want to knowingly expose my baby to it.

Hope this info helps,

L.

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T.G.

answers from New York on

I saw your "So What Happened?" response and it still concerns me. What if she sneezes, coughs, touches her mouth, etc.? All of these are ways that saliva and germs are transmitted. What is the harm if she waits until she is better to see the baby? For me it comes down to the fact that I would not take a risk for someone to be around a newborn- I am very cautious with such a new baby.

Updated

I saw your "So What Happened?" response and it still concerns me. What if she sneezes, coughs, touches her mouth, etc.? All of these are ways that saliva and germs are transmitted. What is the harm if she waits until she is better to see the baby? For me it comes down to the fact that I would not take a risk for someone to be around a newborn- I am very cautious with such a new baby.

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S.M.

answers from Asheville on

Why don't you ask you doc about it that way you can say my doc said mustn't expose our daughter or the baby or any of us to mono (even if you don't get a chance to talk with your doc beforehand). I think it will be difficult to argue with that. Good luck on Friday!!!

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A.F.

answers from Columbus on

Yes, Do not allow her to be in your home or around your baby while she is sick. Not only for your baby's sake but your older daughter too. Surely she will understand.

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J.C.

answers from Sacramento on

Call your child's pediatrician thismonring Mom and let he / she know of your concerns, ask if mono.t is transmittable to your son. If so your husband needs to tell his sis and Mom today he is sorry but you and he will make other arrangments for your son's care while she is in hospital. I personally would not take any chances with having them together at all because it is easily transferrable I believe. Imagine caring 4 a child with Mono and a newborn baby by in a few wks- Yuck! Not to mention that it couldcause harm the new baby too. THis is a job for Dad to handle with his sister and Mom. ff they don't understand and are upset thats ok too, your main concern is taking care and protecting your family. Congrats on your new soon to be addition to your family and hugs

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J.F.

answers from Toledo on

YES YES YES!!! She shouldn't be near any of your family...let alone your children! Mono is called "the kissing disease" for a reason...it is super super contageous and usually asymptomatic! If she still plans to stay at the IL's house, find another place for your daughter to stay and make it very clear to her that this is nothing personal, but you do not want to take the chance of her visiting and speading the disease to you or any of your family, especially the baby.

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C.D.

answers from New York on

Call dr i wont let it happen

M..

answers from Ocala on

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A.B.

answers from New York on

I had mono as a kid and gave it to everyone over a 3 week period. My nickname for those weeks was Typhoon Mary. Call your doc but I would say NO. Today I was supposed to take my son, his friend and the friends mom and 3 month old to the beach. During the night I had an earache and woke with a swollen gland. I called her and cancelled. No way was I risking the boys, the baby and mommy who is still BF'ing and I'm not even sure if I have anything contagious. I doubt your family member would be offended, she should have been the first person to say, "sorry can't babysit, don't want to risk EITHER kid". IMO

M.P.

answers from Provo on

My best friend had mono and I was around her 24/7. She and I were so careful not to touch the same things and she had a certain cup she'd drink out of, and her drinks that I wouldn't touch. BUT I look back at how I could have gotten it. All she needs to do is lick her finger and then touch a surface and then I touch the same spot, and I would have gotten it. So I say find some other arrangements or tell her to wait till her doctors say it's ok AND your doctor to say it's ok.

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A.N.

answers from New York on

I had mono when I was younger and my understanding is that it's diagnosed by elevated white blood cells and by a set of certain symptoms. So no way would I mess around with that; there could be a secondary infection, etc and you wouldn't know it. Even if that's not the case (and I am NOT a worry-wart) there is NO way my pediatrician would ever say that. Bottom line, don't worry about hurting someone's feelings, no sick person should be around a newborn. Not worth the chance.

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M.T.

answers from New York on

Honestly, I wouldn't allow the aunt to care for the older kid or see the baby. Someone with mononeucleosis is very sick and not an appropriate caregiver for a child, and not someone who should be a guest in somone's home. The baby is probably the last person who would catch it but you sure don't need it, I've had it, trust me. I couldn't even get out of bed for 2-3 weeks, and couldn't work for 2 months. The inlaws need to leave auntie at home.

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M.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I think this is more of a question for your pediatrician than the Mamasource board. ( If it were me I wouldn't let her anywhere near my family) Ask about yourself as well-Mono is the last thing you need with a newborn.

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

How many people do you need to help out? If your in-laws will already be there, why doesn't the aunt stay away for a bit until she's over the mono? I know she's anxious to see the new baby and help out, but taking the chance of passing around something as contagious as mono to everyone around a newborn is not a considerate thing to do.

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T.L.

answers from Columbia on

I had mono a couple years ago and no one else caught it from me, according to my doctor unless i were to spit in anyones eyes or kiss someone or drink after someone the chances of them getting it were slim to none. I wouldnt want to take any chances with a newborn or even your older child though... i suggest if she has to be there then she needs to wear a mask at all times. the last thing you need is a sick child while your bringing home a newborn. best thing you can do is tell her to wait on coming over. afterall who doesnt love showering a newborn with kisses... just play it safe and explain to her that she needs to keep her distance until shes better.

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