Just Lost My Job - Now I'm a SAHM for 6 Mo Old and 31 Mo Old - Need Advice

Wow, lots of changes. I'm sorry about the job -- it must be stressful. Try not to add to your stress by worrying too much about being home with your children. You'll be great, and they will be happy being home with you.

But, as a preschool teacher, I do have some tips. The first is to make a schedule, and keep to it. Have a daily and weekly routine, because children thrive and feel secure when their days are predictable, and they know what comes next. For example, Mondays could be park days (go to Edinborough or another indoor park for the time being), Tuesdays are library days, Wednesdays are playgroup days (find a playgroup for the socialization), etc.

The second is to think of your children the way their teachers did -- as capable children who can keep learning new things and slowly learn independence. Don't do everything for them -- figure out what they're ready for, and teach them the next thing. For your baby, it might be holding the bottle independently, and for your toddler, it might be washing hands and drying them independently.

I once had a student whose mom was still spoon-feeding him, and whose father was still carrying him around -- and he was four!

Good luck!

Hey, J.! Welcome to the crazy world of SAHMs, where we're all lucky to hang on to our sanity by the last thread, but are more than happy to do so! You'll end up loving it and won't have a dull moment! Like someone else said, playing IS learning at your child's ages. Maybe stock some crayons, paints, paper, letter magnets, etc. for your older child. You can always do a few things like practicing letters and numbers, but make sure you're doing it as a game and it's fun for your kid. As for interacting with other children, there's an online forum for moms (SAHM and working) here in the Twin Cities. A lot of the SAHMs do playdates and a bunch of other things (moms night out events to help you keep your sanity). If you're interested, it can be found at http://minnie-moms.com. It can be a little confusing at first, but once you figure out how to use the forums and discussion areas, you'll wonder how you lived without it. Good luck!

Meetup.com is a great free site. You can find all sorts of groups on there. I'm sure there's a moms' group in your area.

J.,

I have some advice and also took some advice from the other posters, thanks for asking a great question. There's free or cheap stuff everywhere. Open gym times at Gleasons Gym (Edina and Maple Grove), even some McDonald's have play areas-treat yourself to an ice cream cone and let the kids play. There's toddler Tuesdays at the MOA. Maple Maze and a great warm pool in the Maple Grove Comm Ctr, Eagle's Nest at the New Brighton Comm Ctr. Story times at the library and book stores. Most malls have a soft play area where you can talk with other parents and the older child can run free. There are city MOMs clubs that are about $25 per year that would provide playgroups, activities and a sense of belonging for you and the kids. I'm sure there's one in your area. It can be hard to stick to a schedule, but a general one is a great idea for your sanity and so your kids have some structure too. Even your neighborhood is a good place to look for families to play with. It's supposed to warm a bit next week-maybe you'll catch some people out for a walk or sledding at the park. Arts and crafts are a life saver at my house-I just find the projects online-they're everywhere. Don't forget about kids eating free on certain days. It can all be found online. Happy SAHMing!

I'm sure it will take some time for you all to adjust to your new situation.
My kids are 6 and 2-years-old and they have always played pretty much all day, but we talk and interact a lot and they are expected to help with chores and clean up their messes. Kids can learn more than you think just by spending time with their parents. My just-turned-2-year-old is learning to count, say the ABCs, sing songs, and recognize colors and shapes. My 6-year-old goes to 1/2 day Kindergarten but was learning to read and do math well before he started school. Now he's learning multiplication at home and reading harder words than what he's working on at school. He asks questions and we answer them, and explain how things work and why things are the way they are.
Set up a schedule/routine and stick to it. My toddler gets up between 7 or 8, has a small snack, and watches (I use that term loosely since he mostly just plays) PBS kid shows and plays until his brother wakes up around 8:30, then they eat breakfast and get dressed. They either play and do activities or we go somewhere (usually the gym or running errands) until lunch. After lunch, they clean up and my oldest goes to school and my toddler takes a nap. I'm pregnant, so sometimes I use that time to take a nap myself! That is also a great time to catch up on housework. After naps, it's more play/activity/clean-up time until dinner time. After dinner, they get in their pajamas and we have family time until snack, toothbrush, and bed time. Even though the specific activities may change from day-to-day, the routine is basically the same and they know what is expected of them.
They really enjoy coloring, playing with Play-Doh, building things with blocks or Legos, playing with their train set or car tracks, dancing to music, reading books, etc. They also watch PBS kid shows and other educational videos like Magic School Bus or Leap Frog when Mommy needs some down time.
I have a gym membership, so the boys interact with kids there, and we also do play dates with their friends from church or school (my oldest in in 1/2 day Kindergarten).
We also go on outings to the store when we need to get out of the house, even if I don't need to buy anything. The boys love playing in the toy aisles.
The library is a good, free field trip. A lot of them have story or activity times for free and they are never too young to learn to love books.
Most malls have indoor play areas for little ones.

Trust me, your children with benefit from this time with you. It will not be detrimental to them. Just take the time to get into a routine and teach them valuable lessons that are best learned from Mom. As exhausting/frustrating/lonely as being a SAHM can be, it can also be a wonderful, rewarding experience for the whole family.

J.,
Once warmer weather rolls around, the free stuff abounds. Parks, pools, splash pads, backyard fun, nature centers, etc. It is tougher in the winter. When my kids were your kids' ages, I tried to get out OFTEN. We found lots of storytimes to attend (libraries & bookstores have them), we went to the city rec center for their playtimes. And best of all, check out the FREE museum passes at the library. You check them out like books for all kinds of fun stuff.
Enjoy!

I've been a SAHM since my kids were born - they are now 9 and 7, (boy and girl). I have always "just let them play all day." They took the lead in what they were interested in. The only kids they interacted with were strangers at the playground and their cousins. I did go to ECFE classes with them at age four and they did attend one year of preschool (3 hours a day, 3 days a week) before entering 1/2 day Kindergarten. They had no issues going into school. Both kids are a teachers dream, never in trouble, well liked and well behaved with many friends. My son is in 4th grade and reads at an 8th grade level. My daughter is in second grade and is in the gifted and talented math program. I guess my point is that I didn't worry about filling their days with structured learning. They explored the world on their own and they've both turned out beautifully. Just enjoy this time and have fun with your kids and everything will be just fine!

Check out the MomsClub in your neighborhood...jam packed with activities, playdates, park dates, etc. and a really great way to meet moms like you!

Take an ECFE class. You can get a catalog from your local school district or online. They can be lifesavers for SAHMs. I'm sorry about your job, but enjoy your time with your children!

Try looking at SAHM groups on MeetUp.com. Most of them are free and it is a great way to meet other families in the area. Playing IS learning at your childs' ages, so don't worry so much about the "teaching". Come up with a routine re: sleeping and eating that works for you guys, and stick to it - I'm betting you know some of that routine from their daycare, and if you're worried then it might be best to replicate some of what they did there. Overall, I'm sure that your kids will be thrilled with this opportunity for more mommy time, but no one will enjoy it if you stress yourself out ;) Have fun!

L.