Joining a Church - Need Practical Advice

The first step is to try out some churches. We went to a few before we chose one.

We go to a Pentecostal church and were warmly welcomed from our very first visit.

The most important thing is: When you attend the service, do you FEEL God's presence there?

Then, do you feel welcomed there by the congregation and pastoral staff?

Find a church that gives you that and then worry about becoming an actual member.

Hi Sunni, We just went thru this. We were both raised going to churches so technically it wasn't "new" to us. But searching out a new one is a little scary since you don't know anyone. At first we went to a VERY large church in our neighborhood (3000+ members) but it ended up just being way too big. We never saw the same people and even in the kids sunday school, they never made friends because it wasn't the same kids. So then we went to a start-up church after getting a post card in the mail. It was the opposite problem, WAY too small. So we looked online for a few churches and actually found one that literally is a 2 minute drive for us...so we went one Sunday and we could just FEEL it was the right fit for us. I cried during the sermon because it touched my soul, several people introduced themselves to us and reached out, the kids LOVED their classes, so we could just *tell* that was where we were supposed to be. And there are about 250 that attend so its just the right size for us.

Generally, you just show up maybe after you have looked at some churches online. During the service they may ask "guests" to raise their hand and/or fill out a card so they know you are new and people can welcome you. The "donations" you are talking about is the "offering or tithe" and most churches pass a plate around at the end for anyone who wants to give but it is not "required".

You really have to figure out what denomination you want to attend. Like catholic, luthern, mormon, methodist, etc. Or simply an open bible, non-denominational church. That would be a good place to start, then just go to a few and I think you will just know like we did. If you go for awhile and don't feel like its the right place, then try a new one until you do. Go to their bible studies and events to get to know people. There will likely be womens groups that you can attend. Our church has a Thursday night bible study we all go to, once a month there is a "dinner with friends" and once a month there is a breakfast potluck. We also have our christmas potluck friday night and every Sunday night is our meetings for the Jr High, High and College kids where they have a live band, pizza and a service geared toward that age group. There are also coffee groups, mens groups and even a knitting/sewing group that makes blankets for a charity. Its hard to meet new people regardless, but you just have to step out and do it. I hope you find something that works for you and your family. Message me if you have any questions! Good luck!

You need to go several times to each church you visit and see what they believe, how you agree with that, etc. You can usually meet with the pastor/elder or someone who will tell you about the mission of the church and what they believe. The churches I have gone to also require that in order to 'join' you have accepted Christ as savior and are following him. That doesn't mean you can't continue to attend if you don't fit that requirement. I think I would attend one you like for awhile and see if you agree, feel at 'home' there and can fellowship there. I don't know where you are in Chicago but Moody church is good. http://www.moodychurch.org/

First off, I completely get where you are coming from. As a child, I lived w/ my aunt and uncle (though my dad lived next door and had legal custody). We sometimes went to church and sometime didn't (mostly didn't). When I went with my mom, EO weekend, she sent me to church but didn't attend herself. Later, by the time I was school aged, not at all when with her. When my son was young, we did attend church some but he was involved in so many activities and my hubby worked Sundays so it was inconsistant and we stopped attending. When my daughter was born and we were looking her to be baptized so we started attending regularly and have been every since. My daughter loves it and she's 6 now. We attend the church that hubby's family has been involved in for years although one closer to our home would be more convenient.

Every church is different, in addition to there being differences between religions there are differences within the same religion and each congregation. If you are attending a non-denominational church and/or a contemporary service you will likely find them to be less "traditional" and more casual. What I suggest is to start with a church of your chosen religion and attend a service. You will get a feel for the type of service they have, the openness of the congregation regarding new attendees, and atmosphere. Before approaching about "joining" you should probably attend more than just a few times so you know you want to "belong" at that particular church. Once you know you want to join, talk to the preacher. Most times they will have classes for new members and have a small ceremony when you "join".

As for what to say if someone approaches you...Hello works great. Since you will be new, they will probably say hello, introduce themselves, and welcome you. You should basically do the same and let them know you are looking for church home and wanted to visit.

Donations normally come in the way of weekly offerings...they don't have to be the same every week either. Anything beyond that is something that is typically advertised (fundraisers, events, etc).

You'll want to visit for at least a month before you consider joining. Some church's will have a class for you to take, others will just have a member or pastor talk to you and make sure your beliefs align with the church.

I'd visit several to make sure. My husband and I did that, and we couldn't find one that suited both us and our kids. So I take the kids to my church and he goes to his. We are different religions, but we tried multiple different churches and religions...but we settled back in our comfort zones. We also have changed church families over the years, and that is okay too.

The biggest thing is to VISIT before you join, and more than just one Sunday :).

It can be awkward to join a new church - so you aren't alone. I think it best to do a little research on the church on line or though those you meet in the area (or both). Then visit the one(s) that seem to fit with you and your family (beliefs, youth programs etc). Most churches have a new member class or process, and there will be info on line or when you attend. Some people attend for a while (months even) before joining. So no rush to "join" - find one you feel comfortable with first. Finally, regarding the money, again it's personal. I never want to feel pushed to give, so give when you want. You don't have to be a member. Good luck with your search :)

Check out their web sites to know if they have children's programs, what their beliefs are, etc. Then attend for a while. You don't need an invite. Just go in, sit down, enjoy the service. Go to a few churches to get the feel of what's available in your area and who you like. If there was a denomination you attended as a child that you liked, then seek that kind of church out.

If after a while you feel that you want to be an official member (I actually waited a few years before transferring my membership from my childhood church), contact the pastor and he or she will let you know what you need to do to be member of a congregation in that denomination. If you were never baptized, you will likely need to do that first, but it's often part of the same ceremony. The pastor can tell you if you need to attend classes or anything like that. But the easy answer is - you just walk through the doors every Sunday and see if it fits and if you want to stay.

If someone approaches you, say hi. Friendly churches have greeters that welcome people.

If you want to talk to the pastor, give the church office a call, or drop them an email.

If you want to get to know people, volunteer, talk to the people in the seats around you, join a small group study.

Every church I have attended has a part of the service for offerings. Sit toward the back or middle so you can see how it goes. Look in the bulletin for when the offering will take place and simply place your money or your check in the plate. Give what you feel. If you want to be more private, see if there are envelopes in the pew to put it in first. When we had no money, there were weeks we gave nothing and there were weeks when $5 was a big deal. It's an offering, not a fine.

And if you don't know what's going on, just kind of follow people's leads. I'm so lost in Catholic mass but occasionally I go for friends' events. Nobody's kicked me out yet.

Good luck on your journey.

It sounds like you are really interested in being part of a church family and not just attending worship services. I've skimmed the first several answers and I'm surprised that no one suggested that you may want to start this process out with praying that God will direct your church searching and that he will find the right place where you will feel nurtured and that God's word will be properly taught.

No need to call ahead. But it can take years to feel that you are part of a church family unless you get involved with more than worship service. Truth is you can spend years in a church, not meet the pastor and not get to know the people. Some of that will be up to you. In theory they should overwhelm you with friendliness. But if its a large church, it probably won't happen. Sounds like you may want to look into smaller churches.

But here is my real suggestion. Church is great and I'm not bashing it. But if you really want to know God's word and feel connected with other believers, join a bible study group. Join one that is part of a church so that you can begin to build your relationship with the Lord and his church.

Tithes and offerings are generally taken by passing a plate or basket. The church provides envelopes so that the amount you give can be discreet. If you choose to give and want a tax deduction, then you do need to put your name and address with your gift. It is also the general practice that only the treasurer see the amount given by individuals. The pastor is not privy to who gives what.

Do not be shy about this! You do not need to do anything ahead of time, just show up! People will be glad to see you, and most church services have some part of the service where you can say hello and introduce yourself to the people around you (it's often called passing the peace, because people often start with 'peace be with you').

When I moved to a new town, in the first few months, I went to a different church each week. Churches are like families - they can be very different from one another. Some are very traditional, some not so much. In some churches, you mostly sit in your seat and listen and learn, other churches are more interactive. Since you are new to this, go to a bunch of different churches in your area and see what feels right to you. Some have a lot of programs for kids and families, others don't.

Once you find one that feels right and you think you want to join, then talk to the pastor after the service. Most churches have new member classes a few times a year and after you take the class, you become an official member. But you do NOT need to be a member in order to attend a church. My church has people who come every week, and have for years, and have never actually joined for personal reasons. It doesn't matter, we are happy to see them each week regardless.

As for donations, most churches have a time when they ask for donations during the service. They either pass a plate around, or people come forward and bring them. It will be clear during the service when this happens.

Good luck!

research online. you can get a pretty good feel from websites if it will even approach being a fit. it may also help you to narrow down the "flavor" you want - which denomination or non-denominational.

then, yes, just show up for a service. if you like it, show up again, etc. we've experienced everything from super welcoming to ignoring us but never anything negative. as for rituals, etc - except for Catholic, every church we've tried it has been very clear what to do when and whether or not you're welcome for communion - note that most, if not all, require baptism for communion.

we are going through this as the church we've gone to for a long time has had some major changes and is no longer a good fit. it is intimidating and stressful to walk into a new church every week but it is a priority for us to worship as a family so we've pushed through the uncomfortable feelings.

once you've found what feels like a good fit, call and ask to have an appointment with the pastor - he'll answer all your questions including how to become members. It sounds like you've never been baptized, so if you're heading Christian that will be part of the process.

as for money - no, you don't have to donate. it is nice though to throw a few bucks in to help support the people who have given you some spirtual food that week. once a member, it is customary to donate what you are able to support the building, the pastor salary, staff salary, etc. we always put something in the collection plate when visiting because it feels like the right thing to do. when we were members, we donated quite a bit more on a weekly basis ($4-5 for visiting, $20-25 when members).

as someone below said, when you find the right fit, it will feel it from the moment you walk in.

good luck.

I take it you haven't chosen a denomination? I would start by reading up on the different denominations and the belief systems that go with each. Then I would go church shopping by attending Sunday services and any other church sponsored events that are open to the public. Think about whether you would like a traditional service with an organ and a choir, or a modern service with a worship band and whether you want a church with a conservative or liberal interpretaion of the bible. Do you want to be part of a small congregation where you will get to know everyone, or a large mega-church with lots of activities? Is there a Sunday school program and a youth program?

Churches will normally have a card to fill out if you want more information or would like to be contacted by the minister etc, or to get on the mailing list for newsletters. If and when you are approached, just be honest and say you are looking for a church to join, and are in the process of checking out your options.

When you find a church you think you would like to belong to you can just attend regularly. By attending you are an adherant. If you would like to join the church as a member you will need to be baptised in the church or transfer membership from the church you were baptised in.

Donations can be made when the collection plate is passed around. Most churches will have visitor envelopes in the pews you can use for your donation. When you become a member you can get your own envelopes, or do pre-authorized remittance.

When you do finally join a church the best way to meet people and make friends is to volunteer. Join a committee, or volunteer for special events. Stay for coffee after the service and talk to people.

Good luck!

Most churches expect that a newcomer will visit their services a few times before considering membership. Most times, (depending upon the size of the congregation) the pastor will make a point to introduce himself personally to you, and usually some of the congregants will as well.

If it is a church that has Holy Communion, then they may ask you some questions or explain some guidelines they adhere to regarding who is allowed to commune. Or these may be posted in the front of the bulletin/order of service.

Once you have visited a church a few times, if you are thinking of joining, then you can simply contact the pastor and say so: " I'm thinking of joining, and was wondering how to go about that... " I'm pretty confident they will tell you anything you need to know, and will be glad to help you make it happen.

Good luck.

Attend a few services - see if it feels like a place you would like to make your spiritual home.
Different churches have different protocols for joining. When you find the church you like, ask the minister how to go about joining.
Different churches also have different guidelines concerning monetary offerings. Many Christian denominations use 10% as their baseline. Most churches give you several options for monetary offerings - passing the plate during the service, mailing in a check, or making donations online.

Different churches have different processes about joining, but most churches are happy to have visitors any time. Do you know what denomination you looking for? If not, what I would do is go interviewing. Find what churches are in your area and look up church office hours. Go in and talk to someone at the church, usually they will have someone who specializes in these kind of discussions. Know what it is you are looking for in a church (your theology, size and intimacy, community activities, kids involvement level, formality, etc) and see how well you fit. If you don't fit, they may have suggestions that better suit you. Attend a few services at your top picks and get a feel for the community. After that, the church will guide you through the joining process.
As for donations, called tithes, they are completely voluntary. Most Christian denominations encourage 10% of you income be donated to charity, and about half of that should be to the church. But they also understand that that's a lot to start all at once and will encourage that you start at the level that you feel comfortable with (the level that you can still meet all you financial obligations) and incrementally increase as your lifestyle adjusts.

At our church, we have "connection card" that is placed in the offering basket. On it, you put your name, phone, prayer requests, etc. but there are also places to mark you want the pastor to contact you, if you want more information about the church, if you want to be baptized - things like that. If the church you find has something like that, that would be the perfect way to "plug in." If they don't have anything like that, I would just ask a greeter or someone passing out the bulletins about how to get more information on being a member, but I would def attend a few times & get the feel for it. You should know pretty quickly if you want to be part of a particular church or if you know you don't. Good luck!!

From my experience, it varies by church and denomination. I can only speak first hand about my own church. My family attends Faith Community Church in Huntley, IL. We welcome visitors and anyone is welcome to come check us out anytime. (We started going there when we decided to go "shopping" for a church that we liked). If anyone approaches you, they'll likely say something like "I don't know that we've met" or introduce themselves. It's a very casual, laid back church - jeans in the winter, shorts in the summer are the norm. They receive collection at the end of every service, but always state that a visitor's presence is their gift to us, and they should not feel obligated to give.

As far as formally "joining" the church, I'm not exactly sure, but you don't have to be a member to come and participate fully in the service, including communion.

They also have great children's programming -- a "nursery" for the younger kids, and drop-in style Sunday school for 4yrs and up.

I know I don't know you, but if you live in my area and are interested in checking out Faith Community, I would be happy to meet up with you at church and you can sit with my husband and I. We generally attend every Sunday at 9:45. There is also a Saturday 5:00pm service. Feel free to message me here or email me at ____@____.com if you have any questions!

Hi,

It is of course okay to call a church before hand and ask any questions you might have, but lots of people "drop by" a service on their first visit just to see if they like it. All of the churches I have ever been too have had a sign in book of some kind where you sign your name and have an opportunity to indicate you are a visitor. If you go a couple of times and really like it, check with the church to see about a new members class. At our church these classes meet once a month or so as long as there is interest. Each class meets once then the people can join the church. As far as donations, if you are a visitor, it is nice to put a couple of bucks in the offering plate if you can - churches always need the money. Once you actually join a church, the finance committee or equivalent will be in touch when ever they do their fundraising. Give what you can - but if you turn in a pledge, please try to meet it. budgets are written around pledges received. Our church does a good job of communicating when there are special offerings (Christmas, etc) and there are almost always envelops handy for people. And good church will have someone they can refer you to that can share in(formation about that church. If it's not a pastor, it may be a lay leader. Good luck to you!