It's Been Almost 3 Years and My Son's Eating Habits Are the Same

I will admit that I did not read the others postings... but here is what I think...

In my house EVERYONE has to at the very least TRY what is on their plate. I don't care if I made it last week and they tried it and hated it. If I make it, you have to try it. If need be, we set the timer for my little one (four yrs old as well) and if she doesn't TRY it by the time the timer goes off, she has to go to bed. Period. No arguments, no bargaining! We've only had to set the timer 2x. When we threatened it now she tries it.

He's almost four. That's the age when boundaries are being tested. Yes, he's been doing it for so long, he doesn't think there are boundaries (and there really aren't any).

My suggestion is to make it a house rule. That's how it is in my house and because of it, my kids will try ANYTHING I make. I'm not saying FORCE him to eat all of it. I'm saying make him try ONE bite. My children will try a bite and then get a totally surprised look on their face and say, "It's good."

YOU'LL be surprised if you put your foot down.

~K.

C.~
I had the exact same problem with my son. I actually asked the Pediatrician about it. He said that as long as he has an appetite and is eating some foods that he'll be ok. He did stress though, that because my son was such a picky eater that he needs to take a daily vitamin to make sure he's getting everything he needs.

Prior to the conversation with the pediatrician, I tried everything under the sun..including making him sit at the table until he tried the food. He fell asleep there. Stubborn kid.

I talked to the pediatrician when my son was roughly 4 or 5. He's 10 now. And the good thing is that he's finally starting to try some things. I try not to force him, as that tends to make it worse. He actually threw up on me once when I made him try corn. And I thought all kids liked corn. Guess not.

Is he able to respond to logic? What works for my almost-four year old daughter is reasoning with her. Example: You need to eat three bites because you are three years old. Sounds silly, but it works. Especially if there is a higher incentive like the toy in the happy meal. "You need to eat the burger all gone to get your toy..."

Or you can try making it more fun. My daughter watches "Veggietales" and we even got her to eat "Jonahs" (asparagus) because we were pretending she was the whale. I think it is normal for kids to be picky eaters. Just try to figure out what works for him.

Well, I haven't read the other responses so maybe this is already posted. My advice to you (I read this in some parenting book or magazine, and it does work) would be to make him sit at the table until he eats his food, and if he refuses for over an hour, take his plate away and put it in the fridge. Then later when he says he's hungry give him back his plate of food. He'll have to eat it eventually, but you can't cave in, or it's a waste of time. I'm not saying to starve your child though, so if he's SUPER stubborn, this method may not work.

You might want to try a naturopath and you also might want to try some allergy testing. Other than that it might just be he is being strong willed.
L.

OMG! This sounds exactly like my daughter, whom is now 11 years old. She hates sauces and dips, won't use them. For a while I was fixing something different for her from the rest of the family and finally I stopped that, I think she (and maybe your son has to) gotten into a habit of the way that they eat. I am to the point now where I try to fix one thing that I know she likes, whether it be hamburger helper or the vegetable that I know she likes. She has to try everything and she has actually found more things that she likes this way. Although it has not been until recently. She was obsessed with chicken nuggets also and the same as you only certain ones. She has come around, she still will not eat school lunches though. It has been a long hard road, hang in there I wish I would have never started fixing her something different than us I think that started a problem. She is way below where she should be height and weight wise, but is healthy. So we are in a little different boats I guess. Just look for food that is fun fish sticks shaped like animals, even use cookie cutters to cut the food like an animal he likes or something. If it is a big concern to you get him on a multi vitamin or some Ensure or something!!

Best of luck to you!

Well, I don't know your family history but my sister is allergic to milk. Not lactose, but allergic. Her body couldn't handle bread that had milk proteins or anything else for that matter. (beleive me, SHE was a picky eater!) See if you can get your son tested for allergies. It could be that something normally in most foods is bugging him... like wheat. Whatever you do don't force him to eat what you give him. My mom tried that once and landed my sister in the hospital for a week, and you can bet my mom felt horrable once it was discovered that she had allergies (she was tested at age 10... before that we just though she was being a brat.)

I noticed on your about me spot that u and your husband are splitting up. Maybe that's part of his problem. Otherwise my son is 2 and he sometimes won't eat foods he loves so maybe it just depends on what mood he's in and what he wants to eat.

From a mother with a son who has autism:
Does your child have any of the signs for autism? For example: ***

Research now suggests that children as young as 1 year old can show signs of autism. The most important thing you can do as a parent or caregiver is to learn the early signs of autism and understand the typical developmental milestones your child should be reaching at different ages. Please look over the following list. If you have any concerns about your child's development, don't wait. Speak to your doctor about screening your child for autism. While validated screening for autism starts only as young as 16 months, the best bet for younger children is to have their development screened at every well visit with a highly validated developmental screening tool. If your child does have autism, early intervention may be his or her best hope.

Watch for the Red Flags of Autism

(The following red flags may indicate a child is at risk for atypical development, and is in need of an immediate evaluation.)

In clinical terms, there are a few �absolute indicators,� often referred to as �red flags,� that indicate that a child should be evaluated. For a parent, these are the �red flags� that your child should be screened to ensure that he/she is on the right developmental path. If your baby shows any of these signs, please ask your pediatrician or family practitioner for an immediate evaluation:
� No big smiles or other warm, joyful expressions by six months or thereafter
� No back-and-forth sharing of sounds, smiles, or other facial expressions by nine months or thereafter
� No babbling by 12 months
� No back-and-forth gestures, such as pointing, showing, reaching, or waving by 12 months
� No words by 16 months
� No two-word meaningful phrases (without imitating or repeating) by 24 months
� Any loss of speech or babbling or social skills at any age
*This information has been provided by First Signs, Inc. �2001-2005. Reprinted with permission. For more information about recognizing the early signs of developmental and behavioral disorders, please visit http://www.firstsigns.org or the Centers for Disease Control at www.cdc.gov/actearly.

Common Characteristics of Autism
While understanding of autism has grown tremendously since it was first described by Dr. Leo Kanner in 1943, most of the public, including many professionals in the medical, educational, and vocational fields, are still unaware of how autism affects people and how they can effectively work with individuals with autism. Contrary to popular understanding, many children and adults with autism may make eye contact, show affection, smile and laugh, and demonstrate a variety of other emotions, although in varying degrees. Like other children, they respond to their environment in both positive and negative ways.
Autism is a spectrum disorder. The symptoms and characteristics of autism can present themselves in a wide variety of combinations, from mild to severe. Although autism is defined by a certain set of behaviors, children and adults can exhibit any combination of the behaviors in any degree of severity. Two children, both with the same diagnosis, can act very differently from one another and have varying skills.
Parents may hear different terms used to describe children within this spectrum, such as autistic-like, autistic tendencies, autism spectrum, high-functioning or low-functioning autism, more-abled or less-abled. More important than the term used is to understand that, whatever the diagnosis, children with autism can learn and function productively and show gains with appropriate education and treatment.
Every person with autism is an individual, and like all individuals, has a unique personality and combination of characteristics. Some individuals mildly affected may exhibit only slight delays in language and greater challenges with social interactions. The person may have difficulty initiating and/or maintaining a conversation. Communication is often described as talking at others (for example, monologue on a favorite subject that continues despite attempts by others to interject comments).
People with autism process and respond to information in unique ways. In some cases, aggressive and/or self-injurious behavior may be present. Persons with autism may also exhibit some of the following traits.
� Insistence on sameness; resistance to change
� Difficulty in expressing needs; uses gestures or pointing instead of words
� Repeating words or phrases in place of normal, responsive language
� Laughing, crying, showing distress for reasons not apparent to others
� Prefers to be alone; aloof manner
� Tantrums
� Difficulty in mixing with others
� May not want to cuddle or be cuddled
� Little or no eye contact
� Unresponsive to normal teaching methods
� Sustained odd play
� Spins objects
� Inappropriate attachments to objects
� Apparent over-sensitivity or under-sensitivity to pain
� No real fears of danger
� Noticeable physical over-activity or extreme under-activity
� Uneven gross/fine motor skills
� Not responsive to verbal cues; acts as if deaf although hearing tests in normal range.
For most of us, the integration of our senses helps us to understand what we are experiencing. For example, our senses of touch, smell and taste work together in the experience of eating a ripe peach: the feel of the peach fuzz as we pick it up, its sweet smell as we bring it to our mouth, and the juices running down our face as we take a bite. For children with autism, sensory integration problems are common. Their senses may be over-or under-active. The fuzz on the peach may actually be experienced as painful; the smell may make the child gag. Some children with autism are particularly sensitive to sound, finding even the most ordinary daily noises painful. Many professionals feel that some of the typical autism behaviors are actually a result of sensory integration difficulties.
There are many myths and misconceptions about autism. Contrary to popular belief, many autistic children do make eye contact; it just may be less or different from a non-autistic child. Many children with autism can develop good functional language and others can develop some type of communication skills, such as sign language or use of pictures. Children do not "outgrow" autism but symptoms may lessen as the child develops and receives treatment.
One of the most devastating myths about autistic children is that they cannot show affection. While sensory stimulation is processed differently in some children with autism, they can and do give affection. But it may require patience on a parent's part to accept and give love in the child's terms.
***I know that was a lot of information, but I just want you to be autism aware. I would be happy to talk with you via private email, or anyone else who is having the same issues.

S.

I used to have the same problems with my daughter, I thought she may never eat "normally". All she wanted was the junk, never any meat or vegetables unless it was a hot dog or a nugget. Not to this extreme though...At four she eats allot better. I've always been very stubborn, so I don't give in easy to the woes of a child...if they are hungry...they will eat. I used reasoning, stopped offering certain foods I knew she would fill up on while letting all of her other food go to waste. You have to eat some of this, to get some of that. Fine you don't want too...we'll put it up and try again when you are hungry. I didn't try to force her to eat. But I would let her go without until she at least tried some other foods, now she will eat almost everything...I wouldn't provide special meals just for him, I would say this is what we are having for dinner. It is his choice to eat it. It may feel like you are being mean, but you might find that he has just been playing you. I wouldn't force the issue too much, his growth is normal so he is getting what he needs.
Food to a toddler is visual. They get these preconcived ideas about what is nasty by color, texture, ect. Maybe you could try a more kid friendly presentation using big cookie cutters to shape a food ect. I would also try to enjoy food in front of him..Man this is so good, you are missing out...good thing you don't want any, now there is plenty for me..yummy.
If nothing works, don't worry I really think this is something he will grow out of, the appetite increased when my daughter hit four. Now she loves the grown-up foods like beef stew, chicken and dumplings, and biscuits in gravy but I still have to withhold the chips to get her to eat a hamburger...
I am assuming you are a good cook, since you are going to culinary school...
Maybe when you cook meals he could be your "taste-tester" to make sure mommys doing it right.
As an adult there are foods that I can't bring myself to try, visually they look unappealing to me, so it is not so hard to understand a child doing the same thing on a grander scale.

I hate to tell you this, but he IS eating like a regular kid! :-) Mine is 9-1/2 and he is still a picky eater. We did find that he likes baby carrots, all sorts of fruit (so we keep fresh fruit on hand all the time) and angle hair pasta and Kraft style pesto. All of his friends eat the same way. We did have VERY good luck with the Campbell's soup in the individual servings that you drink. He loves the chicken and stars and most of his little friends love those too. You might try that.

Sorry I can't offer any better suggestions. I was a picky eater growing up and survived, so I guess as long as they take vitamins, they'll be okay.

L.

Here's a suggestion I was given by a pediatritian when my step daughters came to live with us (at age 5 and 8)and would only eat certain foods. (All they ever ate at their mothers house, was frozen pizza, slice ham, mac n cheese, cereal, hamburger helper, plain noodles NO sauce except plain tomato out of a can, junk food like chips and twinkies, and drank only kool-ade and soda. They wouldn't eat veges, fresh fruit and lots of other healther stuff.) The doctor and counselor suggested: Make your food (like dinner), put it out for them. They either eat it, or get nothing. Do Not make anything special for them, and don't allow the junk food to replace real food later. Eventually they will either eat what they are given, or go hungry. Now at ages 14 and 18, they eat a whole lot more, including cooking for themselves. The 14 year old is still a little pickyer, but they eat eggs especially hard boiled eggs, kiwi, mango's and other fruit, salads, lazagna, broccoli and lima bean are favorites, pasta salads, chicken in cheesy rice is also a favorite. It took a lot of time and patients and persistance, but it worked.

Hi C.. I also have picky eaters. My 6-year-old WOULD not eat anything if it had sauce on it. I didn't push him. He eventually decided on his own that he wanted to try ketchup. He tried it and said "Hey, this is good." I told him that it was. Then he wanted to try everything else we wanted him to. He still has times where there are things he doesn't want to try but I don't push him and he eventually came around on his own. He was about 4 years old when this happened. Now my 3 year old is going through the same phase. I don't worry about it because I figure he'll try it when he's ready. Whenever I tried to push them to try new things they would NOT try it. Hope this helps.

Hi C.!
I am the mother of a 13 year old and 8 month old (yes, I know I am crazy-but it has been wonderful this way)! Anyway, my oldest daughter was the same way-very picky and finicky-would eat something one day and not the next, would eat my mashed potatoes but not grandmas even though they were made the same, etc. He is in a stage right now and is eating just like most other kids. Yes there are some kids that eat all kinds of different food but for the most part-kids eat just like Lance is eating. In time it will all change. Since my daughter turned 12, she has been trying more food and food that she normally wouldn't eat. The important thing is that he is gaining weight and right on the charts for what he should be. Eventually, he will start to eat better, just give him some time.

C.:

Whatever you do, don't get into a power struggle over food. If he is growing and gaining weight at a normal rate, you can relax a bit. Let him help you when you grocery shop, and pick out some (healthy) things that he likes. Having him cook with you, is also a good idea. When you make dinner set the rule....you try one bite of everything on your plate, or no dessert (no chips, no candy, no juice). Don't make a big deal over it, just say it "matter of fact". Also give him choices, "Would you rather have a grilled cheese or PBJ". Make both choices healthy, but he will feel like he has some power.

A. L