Is It Too Weird to Name My New Baby My 1St Son's Middle Name?

interesting question. my mom's maiden name was lih (pronounced lee), she named me L. and my sister's middle name is lih. this wasn't "weird" for us...

Hello A.,
Here is a good one and always seems to be a funny conversation topic. My sister-n-law is named Janet. She has a sister named Janetta and another sister named Janeeta. All of their husbands call them Jan, for short. It hasn't caused too much mental issues or bills from the psychology office, thus far. What ever You choose should be fine. T. B

When I found out I was pregnant with twins, my grandmother (who was dying of leukemia) immediately traveled over 300 miles to come to my new home for a visit and to give me her advice from the twin perspective. She told me to give each twin a completely unique name.

Twins run in my family and similar sounding names were the tradition. For my grandmother and her sister it was Virginia and Vivian. My grandmother was the non-dominant twin and ALWAYS felt as though she was in the shadow of her twin while they were growing up. She implored me to give the babies unique names and we did.

I think the same principle applies here. It is SO hard to be the youngest and always trying to step out from behind an older sibling's shadow. The second baby is in for a childhood of hand-me-down clothes and toys that his older brother got to enjoy first. Don't make his NAME a hand-me-down, too!

Also, with my first son it took us almost three whole days after he was born to come up with his name. We had to meet him before we could name him.

surely you can find another name you like!! my goodness, there are thousands of them! i side with your hubby...let big brother have his name, and the new baby a different one.

It is so not weird to use Andrew for your new baby.
I love that my name is connected to my mother and my grandmother (we all share the same middle name) and my sister's name is connected to my Aunts. I have used family names for both of my girls. I think it is so sweet. Now it could be a little wierd if you were going to name the new babe Andrew Dylan... but is does have a nice ring to it!

Well, I wouldn't really care what other people thought, but since you are asking, I think it will cause problems down the road. First, if your husband isn't going for it, you need to let it go. Both parents need to agree on a name, or at least be OK with it. Secondly, you are assuming that the younger boy would want to be named after his brother. I could see some serious sibling rivalry issues coming out of this. My sister and I get along great now, but we couldn't stand eachother growing up. We just had such differnt personalities. I would have changed my name at 18 if my parents had named me after her AND I never would have let them forget how horrible I thought it was that they did that to me! Also, I am sure my sister would have lorded it over me, how my name was in "honor" of her. I think it's great to name a child a family name or after a parent, grandparent, aunt/uncle, but a sibling that is only 4 years older? I think it will show great preference to one child over the other regardless of how it was intended. Sorry... but I have to go with your husband on this one.

Who says you have to have a name before the baby is born? A name is a powerful thing, and many cultures all over the world wait until they can look a child in the eyes, so the soul can tell its own name. My third daughter didn't have a name until she was three days old--but her name, Sylvani, is perfectly her as well as being beautifully unique.

I have to agree with the person who said it would hurt the younger brother to be named after the older one--each of your children should know that they are individuals, and equally loved. That name will be part of him the rest of his life. Make it special and make it fit him.

Hi A., Why not take some time to think about the name Andrew? There could be a variation of the name that would give your new son his own unique identity. Why not Andre or like another response that I read that mentioned the name Drew? Maybe you and your husband could have some enjoyment in pondering the different ideas you come up with together.

Looks like you have already received a few opinions, but since you are asking, I will add mine . . . I think your second son would appreciate having his own first name. True, middle names don't come up that often, but your son would know. Since he will already have a strong link to the family with his last name, let him be an individual when it comes to his first name.

I don't think that is wierd at all. My brothers names are:
Jared Richard, Richard Jacob, Jacob Lowell, Lowell Harold, Harold Albert, Sam Albert, and Aldon Jared. So, I think it is kind of neat to do that.

My mother in law named two of her four duaghters with the same middle name. It wouldn't be so wierd to me!

J.

I don't think this is weird. If anyone asks just tell them that you really liked the name and wanted to use it again. Of course I think Andrew is the perfect name (bet you can't guess what my son's name is). It could be, too, that when you see the baby a new name will come to you. My son was going to be Austin until we saw him and decided that Austin just didn't fit him.

Coming from a large family (oldest of 5 kids with 10 cousins) I can tell you that, while it may sound "cute" to name your younger child after your oldest... it would be horribly unfair to him.

If there was a family tradition that the younger inherits the middle name of an older brother, then that would be fine.

My family tradition is that all the girls have the same initials in each generation and the first initial is always "A". The only name that's been re-used is "Alicia" and there was a very specific reason for doing so.

My second child is named after my youngest sister. When I found out that I was pregnant with her, my sister was diagnosed with a brain tumor and given less than a year to survive. Having a niece named after her gave her the will to hang on and fight the cancer so that she'd be able to get to know my daughter. (Scary thing is that they're so very much alike, down to body type/hair/eyes/personality... sometimes I wonder if there wasn't a hospital mix-up and my sister actually gave birth instead of me.)

You should try to find another name that you like. Who knows... you may discover that there's a name you didn't even think about that would fit your next child much better!

I don't think it's weird at all! I think it's rather cute. Plus, like you said - it's not like you always call your older son Dylan Andrew (unless you're mad, of course.:) )

Good luck! I love both of the names Dylan and Andrew - we were going to name our baby Dylan if we had a boy and my hubby's name is Andy. hehe

Kim

My vote is with your husband! Come up with a name for him that's not shared with your first son. I do not believe that it would be honoring him at all. Myabe if you first son had passed away from some horrible accident, then I would consider that honoring him but in this case, not at all. I'd consider it more lazy that you just didn't want to take the time to find a fitting more appropriate name for son number two. Please please make him feel just as special as son number one and give him his own name and his own identity. It took us a few months of digging through baby name books to come up with a name we both liked for my daughter. You can get almost every baby name book at the library. Check a bunch out, bring them home. You sit down and write down a list of names you like and your husband do the same. then in a few days or weeks you compare lists. You'll be sure to find a name you both love. Good luck.

My personal opinion is that it doesn't matter. Middle names are rarely used. I also think that you and your husband should find a compromise that works for both of you. Don't let this become a power struggle between you. There are millions of names, it's hard to believe you can't find another one you like!

I wouldn't worry about what other people might think. Name your baby what you like. My sister just had her 2nd son and they couldn't come up with a middle name for him so they gave him his brother's middle name (which is also their dad's name). At first she was worried that people might think it was odd, but now that's just his name and nobody thinks anything else of it.

Name him Andrew Dylan. I think it's cute- I almost did the same thing with our kids. It's like their connected in some extra way.

Hi - I have to agree with your husband on this.While it may seem cute to you now, your son may hate that growing up. He may be very upset and wonder why you would do that to him. I think kids should have their own identity. Going through life and having to tell people that your middle name is to "honor" your big brother just seems strange.
I know that you dont tell people very often what your middle name is but he still has to go through life with his name....that is my two cents!

A little weird but not unheard of! I say go for it.

My husband has a friend (he's known since Kindergarten) named Richard Thomas _____. Rich was the first born, but he has 2 younger brothers, Thomas Joseph, and Joseph Richard! They go by Rich, Tom, and Joe so you'd never know the connection, but I think it's neat how that worked out! I mean what if they'd had a girl? Wouldn't be as neat as 3 boys sharing 3 names like that!

I've known of families who had a tradition of giving all the boys their mother's maiden name for a middle name, or the middle names and first names matching between some siblings. First and foremost, though, you need to find common ground with your husband. The best advice I've heard is to select the first name that you and your husband can both agree on. There are tens of thousands of names; keep looking. My husband and I looked in all the baby name books we could find and then on the internet until we finally found one we both liked (Kyler :) Names are important, and it's worth putting as much time into it as it takes. www.babynames.com, www.yeahbaby.com, www.babynamesworld.com, www.babynamescountry.com, www.babyhold.com, www.babycenter.com

I'll throw my 2 cents worth in here too. :) My oldest (of 4) daughter is named Jessy Ann. We named our youngest child (also a girl) Annie Mae. We wanted a name that connected them, but wasn't exactly the same. It worked and My older daughter thinks it is fantastic that her little sister is "named after her". Don't know how my little one will be with it as she gets older, but so far she is in love with all her older siblings and likewise.

Have you thought about some variation like Drew Alan or something that would make them almost opposite names. :) Just an idea. God Bless the newbie!!! and Good luck on the baby name hunt.

One more thought...my husband and I always picked 2 or 3 we would be happy with and then when they were born we looked at them and decided based on what name really fit at that time. (might not work, depends on the level of comfort and stability in your marriage, lol.)

I think being the second son will be hard enough without feeling you were named to honor your older brother. Your boys will be far enough apart that it may take a while for them to really get along! Your second son needs to know he is wanted for who he is, not a clone of your first born. There are so many great boy names, choose one just for him.

I wouldn't give my son his fathers first name because I wanted him to be his own person. He does have his fathers middle name though. I think each child should be individuals. Just my opinion. You should do what you want and not worry about everyone else really.

I understand your dilemma, we gave our daughter Elizabeth as a middle name because it's a family name for both of us and we weren't sure if she would be our only girl, then we had a second girl. But having a sister I do understand the importance of having your own identity, including name. It would make more sense and be better for them to have the same middle name, I think. And what if Dylan decides he wants to go by his middle name? Maybe use just Drew? Or like everyone else says, keep looking, there are plenty of names-I'm jealous of your dilemma-I have a few boy names that I may not ever get to use!

You have gotten some great information below! A name is such an important decision and you need to love it! One thing that I can remember while being pregnant with my second child is that I was so focused on my first born and how this new baby would affect her that I was pretty focused on making the transistion good for her and not really focusing on the unkown of this new baby. I also felt like I had the baby thing down after having my first. This second baby should be a breeze becasue after all, I know what I'm doing now. Not to worry you, but I could not have been more wrong!!! My second assured me that I didn't really know what I was doing, because I had'nt experienced him yet! I think I believed that I was having a carbon copy of my first born with different features. They were as different as night and day. My point is that right now it is hard to imagine anything beyond your first born because you have yet to meet this new baby. This baby could be so completely different from your first that it may not be fitting to have anything connected to your first born. Be prepared for possible huge differences between these two little men. It is not going to be the end of the world if they share the same name, but it is so special to be unique and not feel the comparisson between siblings. I agree with everyone else that says you should really listen to your husband and make sure that you both feel good about this baby's name. Children have a hard enough time when their parents disagree on everyday things. I would not want to hear that my name was remotely a cause of contention. (Not that you are fighting over this, but you hear my point.) Although family stories like that are a part of who we are too. I know you feel like you have to have this name thing figured out and soon, but consider being open about this. It doesn't mean you have to compromise on a name you don't like....just a different name. I hope this helps.

Tough call here A.! You can name your child any thing you want, I mean, Frank Zappa named his kids Dweezel, and Moon Unit!!! You have good sound reasoning for wanting it, but your husband does too. Personally, I would, and did individualize my kids names, and boy are they 2 different people (23 & 21 now) With 4 years difference, your boys, wouldn't have issues in school, but do your really like that name that much???? I love the name Dylan, I tried to get my daughter to name her baby that, but she chose Adrian, I would have never even thought of it, but at 2 months old, he is definately Adrian! She waited until she saw him and held him, before she named him. Just a thought! Good luck, and stay healthy!! R.

I don't think it's weired, if you named a boy after his father, they would have the same name, as long as your not naming him the same middle name as you other son, maybe you should name his first name after his daddy, then middle name andrew? just a thought!

A.,

I have to agree with your husband as well. There is a book titled "A World of Baby Names" by Teresa Norman. It has over 30,000 names from around the world. It's mostly yellow with babies all over the front cover. I suggest looking into (no pun intended) it. It also has derivatives, origins and alternate spellings. If y'all can't find something out of that book I don't know what to tell you.

Hope this helps,
Melissa

I don't think it's weird. Some families have all the childrens' first names starting with A or J or have similar names. My aunt named her baby Sonya, even though my sister's name was Sonya. Also, there are baby books you can get that list all of the names and what they mean.

A.,
If you didn't like the name, you wouldn't have given it to your first child. When my boys are in trouble, I call them by their first and middle names. I wouldn't name your second child Andrew for this reason. Also, for me, it just doesn't seem right and could potentially confuse the children.
My husband and I couldn't agree on a name for our second child either. I don't know how we figured it out, but we did. I think we figured it out a few weeks before his birth.
Also, I know of at least three people who have given birth and didn't have a name for the baby to put on the birth certificate.
Hang in there. It will come to both of you. Perhaps in a dream.
-A.

I had to comment, just because.......... My DH was about 11 when his younger brother was born. He got to pick out what his name would be. Well my DH's name is Michael Jay, his brother's name is............ Jay Patrick. So I think using your other child's middle name for another's first name is fine. Seemed to work for them w/out problems.

My grandfathers name was Henry Merritt, and his brother was named Henry Yandall. They called the brother Henry and my grandfather was called Merritt. Yes it's different to name your children with the same names but there is nothing wrong with it. Middle name is even more obscure.

It isn't weird at all. Sometimes kids have the same names as their parents, or have the same middle names. You hardly hear your child's middle name unless they are in trouble. If your son's name becomes Andrew nobody will even know it is Dylan's middle name also unless they are a family member.

P.S. If you decide to go with another name try "Jarren" !!
My son's name is Jarren Andrew:)

While I personally believe that having a separate identity is very important, I also know how much my husband, who is III and my son IV with same first name, loves the connection he has to his father and grandfather having the same name. BTW, none of them actually are called by that name until they go to work somewhere; Dad is Junior, my husband is Little Junior (eck!), and my son is a spanish version of the name. I just couldn't do Little Junior Junior! :-)

Now, normally I would tell a man to just let a pregnant woman have whatever she wants (what other real perks are there to actually being pregnant? LOL) But I do think you should consider how big a deal this might be in your marriage down the road. Will it keep coming up at family gatherings? During arguments? Sometimes it's just better to let a potential conflict go; marriages are hard enough w/o adding something that could later be thrown back at you. Don't sweat the small stuff, as they say.

Well, whatever. Who's gonna really know your kids middle names anyway?

Weirder things have happened. My oldest son was 8 when my nephew was born and my younger brother and his wife named their son the same. (they are both Zachary's) When my Zac was 16 when my older brother and his gf named their son Zachary. My mother has 3 grandsons all named Zachary. We call them Zac or "big Zac"; Zach and Zak "little Zak".

If you and your husband are not agreeing, maybe you can each come up with a list of 10 names and eliminate from there. Naming a child is not easy but there are ways to be more flexible. I'm a mom of 5 and after the fist three, there was no agreeing on anything. The forth (a girl) was named by her two big brothers (11 and 13) and the fifth (a boy) was named by his big sister (16).

Good luck and let us know what the little guy's name is going to be.
D.

I think it's kinda weird to use your 1st son's middle name unless it's a family name. If you want to honor someone by using their name for your new baby's name maybe try using one of your parents names. Like my son Steven has his grandfathers middle name for his first and my brother and I have our grandparents first name for our middle. My son Cain shares the same first name as my mentally challenged uncle, Thomas. Or you know you could just put some names in a hat and have someone pick a couple out for the first and middle name. Just kidding on that last one.
Good luck with your decision and your new addition.

Yes, it is too weird and confusing to name your next son after his brother. They will not look at it as "honoring". If you want to honor your son(s), teach them respect for each other while they also have different names. Give him a name that is HIS. Kids like to be dressed the same, eat the same, but have different names, it gives them an identity that they honor and value. Don't give the second son a name that starts with A, as it can be confusing when you are calling them to go somewhere.

My in-laws gave their two sons the names of Jay and Jim, and they were always calling them the wrong name, and the boys HATED it. In my family, there are 5 girls, two of us have names that begin with "M", and we had the same mixing up of who is who+. We rolled our eyes, wondering why our parents were "stupid" and could not identify us properly. (Even as an adult I disliked it alot).

Give your new son a wonderful name, perhaps your husband's second name or a family member long passed on that has an honorable name. Start/continue a tradition that you can tell your son why he was named after a much-loved person. If you do not have a family name to give, pick one that he will be proud to say and put on a business card in his future. Andrew is a very nice name, but let your first son have it all for himself.

Don't be "cute", but be THOUGHTFUL and Respectful of both son's feelings. If you name him Andrew after all the advice you get here, someday he will legally change his name. In grade school, they will get teased mercilessly if they share the same name. Don't do this to them. If you are stuck on an "A" name, have you considered Aiden, or Anthony, or August? Google a baby name site, and choose a strong and masculine name that could be shortened, as Andrew can be Andy or Drew.

I have 3 grown children, the last one moved out of the house, and they all have names that begin with different letters, and it is easy to remember who I am talking to. Please be strong and give second son a wonderful, uniquely his name.

Best wishes to you.

I wouldn't care what "people" thought, but I would care very much what my new son thought. I am a second born of the same sex, and trust me when I say there are lots of ways that seconds don't feel as special. I think giving him his brother's name says, "Eh. We were too lazy to think of a new name for you." or "Your older brother is SO special, we wanted to name you after him." or "We hope you are just like your brother. Don't dare to have a different personality." I am not at all saying this is how you feel, but I am saying that this is how your son could feel: I am not special. I know you will love him and that he will be special, but sibling rivalry is an interesting thing in how it distorts our vision on things.
I really think you need to honor him with his OWN name, even if you don't like it as well. The name Andrew is good, but there are plenty others out there that are great too, or all boys would be named Andrew. Usually first borns of one sex get our first pick of names- that is just the nature of naming kids. But please, please, please give him his own name.

Hi A.-

Well in these days and times you can name your child anything that you want (literally anything). I come from a strong Native American culture and my cousin has to sons on just born in January 2008 and the other is about a year or so old (close together). And she gave them the same middle name,which in turn is also the fathers name. Also my husband and his father share the same middle name along with younger brother. So A. I think that it is rather common, you just need to be ok with it.

A. I wish you all the luck, and do what you think is right. Once you get a first name say them together see how they sound, that might also help.

Best Wishes-C.

This is all my own opinion and while I don't mean to sound mean about it, it'll probably come out that way when reading it. So apology in advance, but hey, it's an opinion, right?

There are *thousands* of names out there. Why not give him something uniquely his own instead of re-using a name?

I personally believe that each child should have their own identity and if I were named after my sister/brother, I'd probably change that as soon as I was old enough to legally do so.

While I believe it's OK to make a child after someone else, I also think that doing the same name for siblings is a little unfair to the children. Give them each their own names! There has to be one other boy name out there that you both could agree on that would give your child the ability to have his own unique identity instead of sharing with his brother.

Would you really want to repeat to everyone growing up that you have the same name as your brother's - probably with an eye roll that your parents were horribly bland and couldn't come up with anything better than your own brother's middle name? I sure wouldn't!!

I agree with you A.. It is definately not weird to name your child Andrew. I'd do it! There is nothing wrong with it at all.

My aunt's share a name exactkly like your situation and they are very close and love it. Last year they were over having dinner when a close friend called and said, I had my 2nd girl and we want to name her with our first borns middle name. The aunts said to go for it. It's a special bond that they will always have! So, I say go for it too and embrace the name for both. Enjoy your 2nd - it's fun to have two of the same sex!

Hi A.,
I do not think it is weird...but I do think that your unborn baby should have it's own individuality and along with that should be his own name without sharing it with his big brother. Then the whole big brother syndrom might happen.
But really this is your decision.
good luck!
What ever you choose, remember the baby has to live with for the rest of his life.

My first thought is that you must either be the oldest child OR an only child. Am I right?

I'm sorry to say that I agree with your husband. I wouldn't be as concerned about what other people thought - I'd be more worried about what your children will think. The second child normally has a hard time being in the "shadow" of the oldest child - and if I was your second child I'd probably be thinking that I wasn't important enough to even get my own name and my parents had to recycle the name they gave to my brother . . . which wasn't even good enough to be his FIRST name. (And the fact that your post talks about "honoring" the big brother really reinforces my belief that your second child would be hugely resentful of this.)

Also, women tend not to disclose their middle names, but men disclose their middle names much more often.

I know that you're pregnant and hormonal . . . but it cannot be true that the "only" name you like is Andrew. This is just the name that you really, really want. I really think that once your hormones return to normal and you look back on this, you'll smack yourself in the head and wonder what you were thinking about wanting to recycle that name for your second baby.

What my hubby and I did was to go through a baby name book by ourselves and write down the names we liked and kind of like/could learn to like. Then we compared the lists to see which names we agreed on. Then we mulled over those names until we came up with something we liked.

My vote is with your husband. I wouldn't go for it either. ;) I say "Keep digging." There has to be just the right name out there for him. Have fun!

Have you considered using Andrew as your second son's middle name also then going by his middle name? My friend has named all her boys with very traditional 1st names and unique middle names then goes by there middle name. Example: Christopher Titan but we all call him Titan. You could do the same, decide on a 1st name with your husband then use Andrew as his middle name and call him Andrew. Either way I don't think it's weird to use Dylan's middle name as your new baby's 1st name.

I have three sons. Their father's name is Cameron. When we had our first son, we decided that we didn't want a "Junior" so instead gave him the middle name of Cameron.

We liked the name Cameron so much, we gave our second son the same middle name. When we had our third son, well, guess what? We figured that he too should share the same middle name.

My sons are all adults now, and so far, they seem to be okay with the same middle name.

I must mention that by sheer coincidence, Cameron also happens to be my own father's middle name! And my brother's middle name, too! In my case, it was sort of established as a "family" name. Perhaps you could consider making the name Andrew a "family" name.

Well, my opinion, for what it's worth- is to give your new baby his own identity.
Both of my boys (half brothers) have their Dad's first name as their middle name. That is a tradition in our family, and I continued it. Kind of like a legacy being passed down.
While your first son will most certainly be a hugely important part of your new baby's life; what would he be being "honored" for?
I know you are getting lots of other advice; but are you sure (when he gets older) that your 2nd son won't feel like you didn't care enough to take the TIME to pick him out his own name? I realize you like Andrew- that is why you used it the first time! You and your husband should just keep talking. What about his name? ... Have you ever asked Dylan if he has any suggestions? My (2nd) husband and I liked my oldest son's suggestion so well that we actually used it for our daughter! (That would also be a way to honor Big Brother.)
Don't give your baby a second hand name. With a little more determination, your family can find the perfect name for your new unique and individual child.

Are you sure it's a boy? 'cause having a girl sure would be an easy out.
If second son was Andrew Dylan that at least would be equitable.
I think you could get away with it.