Is there anyone out there that can tell me why it's a mental roller coaster with 1st time moms to be. Everything gets on this po'childes nerves. I even ask if she was taking her prenatal vitamins.
My friend is pregnant for here 1st time with twins and is always on the edge. She will be a single mother raising these children, because she can not control her emotions. Is this normal?
Well, some people get an extra high amount of hormones when pregnant, and that can make them irritable and on edge. Also, the discomfort of being pregnant alone is enough to make some people cranky, let alone with twins. This is especially true if there are people constantly pointing out that she is irritable, or being just plain insensitive, like some men can be when dealing with a pregnant wife or girlfriend.
Excess emotions is pretty normal with most pregnancies. My husband says he nearly bit his tongue off several times during mine because I was being unreasonable without realizing it. She may not know that she is having such huge mood swings. It may not be wise to point that out to her either. :) I hope things get better as her pregnancy progresses.
J.
She is probably overwhelmed with worry and anticipation. Hormones play a big part in her emotional roller coaster. Be a friend and stand by her, reassure her and most of all show her that you care. All pregnancies are different and I hope and pray that there are no difficulties with her pregnancy that she is not sharing with you.
Good luck to her.
This is a very normal "symptom" of pregnancy. Here is a good article about mood swings and some ways to control them.
http://www.babycenter.com/0_mood-swings-during-pregnancy_...
As a mother of 3 (two of whom are twins) I can assure you that she would not be a normal pregnant human being without these mood swings. I've never known a pregnant woman who didn't have them, although the severity can vary in degrees, and I work with mothers to be on a fairly regular basis since I am a Developmental Psychology and Human Development-Family Studies student.
Sooooo very normal! She is scared to death and has an overwhelming about of responsibility for her single mother shoulders. The thought alone of twins is enough to traumatize most moms-to-be. Taking care of one new born is a 24/7 job and she will need help to care for two without a doubt. Is there anyway she could live with a family member or friends who could make this huge commitment for 1-2 years with her as extra, loving hands for the babies and other child? At this point, she's going to get more stressed, tired, worried ... before it gets better.
The hormone trip is something else. She probably feels out of control because she really can't control the mood swings and everything. Plus, parenthood is scary, because you don't know what your kids will be like, or if you'll like them, or if you'll be able to handle it, and you have all sorts of fears. And twins makes it even worse, because you'll be twice as tired, and it will be twice the financial burden. One new baby is difficult enough! So, to some extent the irritability is normal, but because she's going to be a single mother, the stress is infinitely greater. You may need to urge her to discuss this with her physician, and find a support group. Make sure she talks with people in the community, like friends with kids, church friends, etc., to get to know people she can call on for help when the kids come. She will need someone to help with the feedings, to watch the kids so she can sleep, to get help when she needs groceries or diapers (www.diapers.com is a great site - she can have ANYTHING baby delivered to her door!), or just to talk to someone or cry on their shoulder. She won't be going out of the house for the first month at least, while the babies are young and she is exhausted. Plus they're highly susceptible to illness, so she'll be staying secluded to avoid exposing the kids to infection. The babies can't be expected to sleep more than 3 hours in a row at any point until about 4 months of age, so she's really going to need a lot of help for at least four months.
Prior to the babies coming, she'll need to make sure she rests and enjoys lots of activities she normally does. If she enjoys cooking, she could prepare freezer meals, so she'll have some nice meals available for when she can't cook. If she likes to go to movies or other entertainment, she should do so, because it's harder to get away from the kids later. I spent months cross-stitching a stocking for my first baby, which I finished in the hospital the day he was born. I'm still working on the project I started once I came home from the hospital with him two years ago.
Baby 411 and Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child are excellent reference manuals, by the way. I hope this helps. You're a good friend to be helping your friend in this exciting time.
Every mother to be has hormones to deal with. But also she is having two babies,and will be raising them alone? I know she is very scared and she might feel that she can not do this! Be there for her and let her know that you will help as much as you can. See if other people can help, like church forks God will make a way, let her know that I am so very happy for her, and am so very glad that she did not abort her babies!! May God Bless you'll B. A.
Considering she is having twins then yeah she will be on a roller coaster. She just needs to be calm and take things one at a time. Its good to have friends and family for her to talk to and not give her the third degree. Being a single mom for the first time is hard. When I was pregnant with both my kiddos I was a mess. I would just cry for the hell of it. So yeah shes going to be on a roller coaster. Everyone is different in their pregnancies. I would just be there for her. Let her know you are there anytime she needs you. Have her talk to her doctor to and make sure she isnt going through depression? She might be going through that to. I am always here if she or you need to talk.
S. Thorne
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Yup. Her hormones are waaay outta whack. And I'm sure stress isnt helping. Unfortunately, that stress will also transfer onto the babies if she's not careful. Sounds like she needs some "me-time". Try to get her into yoga or stress lessons. You and she can do them together and save having to sign up for classes. Ross is a great place for cheap tapes. Or even rent them from the library. If you do your homework, you can even come up with ones that are specifically geared for moms to be. Invite her to eat plenty of fresh fruits and veggies. The nutrients and antioxidants will help level her hormones emensely, and eliminateing as many additives from her diet as possible will help not only her but baby as well. of course, if she's cranky about your inquiring on prenatals, it may be that she's feeling defensive (or even guilty) about her diet. Tread lightly (no preaching) & praise her for her acheivements, and let her know that she's not alone. :]
I was nervous with my first and I did not have twins. I would be very nervous now if I got pregnant with twins. Like everything else, if we are to go through something we don't have any experience with, it is scary and we all figure out how to adjust, however she is a single mom and this is a huge experience I would be scared to death to go through. I was scared to death after having my son and I obsessively read, have a husband and also had help from our Moms. Are you a Mom? I will tell you that the first diaper my husband and I changed was our son's. The way I gained confidence is reading books. There are books on having twins and I would get her one. Also, buy her "Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child" by Dr. Weisbleuth. (not sure if spelling is correct). It is the best book to have good healthy habits from the beginning and we all know that happiness with having a baby revolves around good sleep. I got my sleep in 1-2 hr increments in the first 4 months and I only had one baby. If you imagine having to take care of the other baby while one is sleeping (24 hrs a day), when do you sleep? Reading and getting help could be the best way to help her prepare and reduce some of her nervousness. FYI, prenatal vitamins have nothing to do with the emotional rollercoaster of being pregnant, normal pregnancy hormones are much stronger with twins. Hopefully someone will be there on a full time basis to help. That may be where you can also help.
Do you have any children? If not, then I would say it's not something you can understand till you've been there yourself..I have been pregnant with twins and it's very emotional, especially if it's her first pregnancy-there are so MANY hormones raging around in your body..So yes it is very normal, at least it was for me..
