International Traveling (Long Flight) with Young Kids

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Make sure that you run them as much as possible in the airport. Bring lots of snacks, and a bribe bag (a number of new toys and give them a new one at certain points in time). If you only had your 22 month, I might also say tell the airline, and see if they can arrange it so that there was an empty seat near you, but if you have another child too, it might be easier if he had his own seat. You would also then have the ability to go to the bathroom if he was sleeping, sleep yourself, etc.

My husband travels to Tokyo frequently and says there is hardly ever an empty seat on the plane. So I wouldn't count on lucking into an empty seat beside you.
I HIGHLY recommend buying a seat and taking your car seat for the toddler. (double check that your seat is airline approved. most are.) If he is used to taking naps in his car seat, he will sleep so much better on the plane in his car seat. Plus it is just so much safer for him in his car seat instead of on your lap. What if you hit turbulence or have a bumpy landing? The airlines won't let you hold anything heavier than a book on take offs and landings for safety reasons. But you're allowed to hold a 20 pound child?! Makes no sense.

Good luck!

I have traveled a few short flights with my son who was a little bit younger than your son. We had a difficult time keeping him still and entertained with both my husband and myself. If we didn't have a seat I might have lost it.
He was 15 months old the second time (so a bit younger).

BUT if your daughter and son get along well and if you lift the seat up in between you may have enough room for the three of you. Also your daughter and son may be great entertainment for each other so it may not be so bad.

Have a great visit with your family.

Good luck with your trip! It is very difficult to travel with children, especially when they have to sit on your lap. If you could reserve your seat, get double seats, so you and your children can fit without impinging on anyone else. If you can get a double seat then you can maybe put the armrest up and have your two kids sit together which would give you some space. Also it will allow you to only hold the 22 month old on your lap for the take off and landing or during any instance where the buckle seat belt sign is on instead of the full 13 hour flight. Also making sure your child is comfortable is very important, as some children can become irritable in small spaces and with the air pressure changes, make sure you have food on the plane and that you check your child regularly for diaper changes as this may set the child off. A friend of mine tried Herbs For Kids Valerian Super Calm which is an all natural calming formula designed especially for children and she said that it worked on her 10 hour flight overseas. I'm not sure this is the kind of sleeping aid you were referring to but just be cautious with whatever you are using and make sure you try it out before your trip to ensure that (1) your child isn't irritable when you use it or allergic to it, and that (2) it is suitable for your flight duration. Again good luck.

We've traveled to and from Japan and Europe a few times with small children. One thing you can do is lift the armrest between your seat and your 4 year old's and put the two together in one seat. They can share the seatbelt. Of course, your little one won't have his own seatbelt anyway, so this is better than nothing. He can also lay his head in your lap and legs on sister's for sleeping. It'll be okay. Even if the arm rest doesn't raise, the two of them should be able to share a seat most of the flight. I wouldn't use a sleeping aid for a child personally. The jet lag will be an issue for a couple of days. It just will. They'll adjust though. Try to get them on the new schedule as quickly as possible though.

I would not buy the ticket. Im sure if there is an extra seat somewhere they will let them sit down. Also i went to a different country and it was an 18 hour flight and right when we got off we went to our first destination( while jet lagged) and it was fine with a 20 or 30 minute nap. But, the next day get plenity of sleep 8-9 hours and have a good breakfast, also you dont really notice the difference atleast i didnt.

I would buy his ticket and take his car seat. That way he knows the rules already. Also, go to the dollar store and buy a bag full of new things that they can randomly open and play with in their seats. A portable DVD player will probably be helpful. As for the sleep aide, I would ask your pediatrician about dramamine for airsickness as it also makes them very drowsy. Good luck to you! You're a brave Momma!!!

My husband is from Sweden, not quite as far away as Japan, but we do travel "home" with our kids frequently. I have done the international flight with my kids at various ages and found the formula that works best for us - each kid over 1 gets their own seat and NO DIRECT FLIGHTS. We go out of our way to have layovers, the time out of the airplane does wonders for them (and often the tickets are cheaper). The worst flight I ever had was on an overbooked direct flight from Milan to the US with a toddler on my lap, and I was sure I would not do that ever again. (I arrived exhausted with a cranky child and covered in food, drink and other...) Different airlines are more accommodating to children, and you can ask what kinds of arrangements they have for the children. On our last flights the airline provided a "flight box" with a sandwich, some treats and a pair of wings - not much but enough to make the kids feel special. Anyway, just my opinion since I have been doing this for a while and I am feeling very confident because on our last trip the kids (6 and 2) were acting like pros even if the 2yr old started taking off her shoes every time we stood in a line.

Hi, with my husband being in the military we were stationed in Korea and flew there with our twins at 4months and then returned to the US at 18 months. (About 20 hours of traveling) We brought the car seats so they could be strapped in which helped with all of their movement and sleep without worry of them falling out of the seat. The seats hopefully will have their own video screen so there were kids stuff for entertainment. Plus what the others have said about small new toys definately helped. Hopefully if you are flying late it may be nighttime and the kids might sleep well. Definately bring the umbrella stroller, to have a kid strapped in while you go through customs and immigration will be well worth it. But most of all do not worry about the other passengers, just do your best. If you are calm then it will be calming for your kids. We had crying and we calmed them the best we could and the crying didn't last long (although it felt like forever).
Hopefully they will seat you next to an empty seat. This is definately a tough call on if you should buy a ticket. I found the seat very helpful. But I have seen little beds that pop out of the wall in the center isle at the bulkhead. I don't know if there is a weight restriction for that though. Check out the airplane online and see if you can figure it out. Best of luck and enjoy your trip!
S.

The little bassinets that they sleep in can be used up to about 20 pounds, at least that was the case with my airline. So you probably won't be able to use one.
I had long direct flights to/from my home country with my son when he was 14-16 months old. He had a very hard time falling asleep on the plane. On the way there, it was a night flight and it took him a few hours to finally fall asleep but it was OK. On the way back, it was like flying the whole day and he could not fall asleep to nap and when there was a couple hours left for landing he was overtired, exhausted, and could not fall asleep whatever we did. He cried so much he threw up. It was horrible. He could not fall asleep even after we landed, and had a hard time waiting in the passport check line. He finally slept in his car seat when we headed home. So it might have helped if we had his car seat on the plane...
I should also mention that there was another kid on the plane the same age as my son and he was just fine. I am not sure if they gave him any medication though :-)
We talked with his pediatrician and he agreed that the next time we make such a long flight, we will give him some medication to calm him down. I don't know what yet but whatever the doctor recommends. So I would talk with your pediatrician and have something in hand in case he has a hard time falling asleep.

The jet lag was fine, as you are also jet lagged you will adjust together.

I would definitely talk to a pediatrician to see if there is something you can give a 1 yr old to help them sleep. I would not give the children anything without clearing it with the pediatrician first and also to get the correct dosage. Pack a carry on bag with a small blanket for each and their favorite comfort toy that they want to sleep with. I would also pack snacks and juice and some other toys, crayons, coloring books, (purchase new ones for the trip) to help keep them occupied. The airline will probably let you have the kids up a bit weather permitting so you can let them walk around a bit and get out of the seat and your lap. Bring books to read and quiet games to help keep them occupied. I would also take some special snacks for them especially something new, fun or maybe something you might not usually let them eat but not too much sugar gotta keep the energy level down. Individual small animal cookies (the circus box w/handle is one example). Ziplock bags are great for the snacks. Eating snacks may also help them to sleep, snacks like cherrios and goldfish crackers, cheese, applesauce. When you get off the plane let them play for a few minutes/walk around a bit in the waiting area to get some energy out before you get in the car. I have not been on such a long flight with little ones so not sure about a separate seat or not, but most likely the 1 yr old would end up in your lap anyway. Jet lag and time difference not sure about that. Their schedules will be off and they may be over tired and cranky once they get there. Just try to get them outside for awhile if you can and get some energy out after the trip. Hopefully there will not be too much activities scheduled the first day or two. And if possible maybe a nap or just a rest time of quiet activity like reading or coloring to give them (and you) some down time. Good luck and have a safe trip.