Infant Sleep

I fully agree with Ingrid's suggestion of a routine. We have a four month old and are doing much the same with her at night. She knows that bathtime means bedtime and we have no problem getting her down. Also, she was waking every two hours before we started the routine, and I was going to her every time, but once I started waiting a few minutes before jumping up, she put herself back to sleep with almost no crying or fussing. You might want to try a routine for a week or so before trying to move her to her own crib. That way, she'll understand when it's bedtime before you change things around.

At 8 months, your daughter should definitely have a nap schedule. She should be taking one in the morning, one in the afternoon, and maybe a short evening nap, although most babies drop those by 9 months. Maybe if you keep her up at the other times, she'll fall into that pattern after a few days. Her morning nap should be around 9am, and her afternoon nap should be around 1 or so. If you don't let her fall asleep at other times, she should be able to sleep longer at these times and give you some rest as well as getting some much-needed rest herself! Yes, you may have a crabby baby for a few days till she gets it, but it'll be worth it to give her the sleep she needs! Good luck!

8 months is right before babies start to have separation anxiety. Trying to move her to a crib before this could make it more difficult. The book Nighttime Parenting by Dr. Sears could be a big help for you.

I would work on naps first, which could improve the nighttime situation without making it a fight. Is she still nursing (I'm guessing yes because you're co-sleeping). Have you started solids lately? Is she hitting milestones--crawling, sitting up, standing, more active? Those always messed with my kids sleep habits. Is she waking in the night because she is wet? some babies aren't bothered by it and then suddenly they are.

My kids didn't sleep through the night until they were close to 3. We co-slept until they were about that age because they were easier to parent at night with us so close by.

On the flip side though, your movements could be waking her and she may be ready for her own space. Reassuring her that you are there and will come get her if she wakes. Honestly, I wouldn't do a crib unless you have it. Our kids never slept in a crib and when they moved to their own rooms we used a toddler/crib size mattress on the floor, later adding a bed frame when we were sure they wouldn't fall, but they were 3 when we did the transition.

I can't say enough good things about "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child," which someone else has already recommended. It is a lifesaver! Follow it and you'll be fine. As everyone else has mentioned, a routine is KEY. Nap every day at 9am and 1pm. (Don't go to them before an hour, even if they're awake and/or crying that entire time.) Bedtime at 6pm, and no more going to them at all at night (unless you're still doing a nighttime feeding). (If you're working and can't do it that early, that's fine, but the earlier, the better.)

No one is a "fan" of crying it out. Ever. BUT, it's what works and saves everyone's sanity at the same time. There's lots of tears involved (yours and hers) for those first few days into the first week or so. But, then there's no crying after that and you're all getting your sleep. After you've done CIO with your first child, you see the need for it in your other children and it gets easier to do. You see the rewards in how happy they are when they're awake too.

Good luck. We have ALL been there!

There was also a fantastic article in this month's Parenting magazine about sleep. It gave me some great ideas on how to get my 8 month old daughter to go to sleep at night without having to rock her or lay with her for 45 minutes. Tonight was our 2nd night where she snuggled with her "lovey" (ie-blankie) while rocking, I actually put her down with her eyes barely open while she was still awake and she went right to sleep! Yay!

any information by william sears is the best information out there. the website: www.askdrsears.com
he has a book called nighttime parenting. its not very long, and you can get it really cheap on amazon. i got 2 copies and they were both under 2$ each (then theres shipping!)

anyway, im glad to hear you are against crying it out. you are surely going to get information that says that shes old enough to be let cry it out, but that information is UNTRUE because YOU KNOW YOUR DAUGHTER, and you already know that crying it out isnt the way you want things to work.

im also glad to hear you are cosleeping! :) how beautiful! i coslept with my son until between 13-17 months. he did not sleep through the night until he was almost 2 years old. i guarantee that its more normal than not for our young ones to not sleep 'through the night'. i mean think about it, how often do you yourself get up at night to go to the bathroom or adjust pillows? i know i still wake up anywhere between 1-3 times a night to move around or something, so why should we expect our little babies to sleep like logs all night long? its just not humanly normal. also, shes still growing! if shes going through a growth spurt, her stomach is only the size of her fist; it fills up quick, and it empties just as quick. it is only appropriate to respond to our babies and feed them! right?

the cry it out method is the equivalent of putting a quadrapilegic in a cell and leaving them there. sure, our babies are not paralyzed, but its just about the same. we put helpless babies in a 'cell' (im not anti crib, just against using them to "contain" and "babysit" our children) and we leave the room and expect them to fend for themselves . in my opinion, older children have sleep problems like monsters and the like because they are left in their beds scared and lonely for all this time and all they learn is that mom and dad dont respond when they need them, and that bedtime is scary.
my son is 3, he coslept with us until he ws between 13-17 months like i said. his crib was in our room next to our bed, so even then he was back and forth between that and our bed for a while. eventually between that age i mentioned, he would go to sleep in his bed, no fussing, no crying, no tantrums, no screaming, nothing. he would stay there until aruond 4 am or so and he would want to come into our bed. his routine is about the same now actually. we didnt move his bed to his room until a week before he turned 3, and he didnt have one single issue with it. the first night was so beautiful, i was so amazed and thankful that i did this that way. he sleeps right through all night on rare occassions, but for the most part, he will get up at some point and come to our room to sleep. if its too wild and hes back asleep we will move him back but we sleep through it for the most part and we are all fine.

anyway ive kinda blabbed. i am just quitting my child care business, but between my kid and the other kids i have watched, the most successful confident sleeper isnt the kids who cried it out, its my kid and the one other kid i have had who were parented to sleep, and their sleep was a sensitive and loving thing to mom and dad. im telling you, its hard work, and sometimes you are so tired you cant see straight, but it WORKS, and its the best thing i ever did. you will NOT regret parenting your child night and day until they are older and dont need you anymore.
i actually feel like every time my son wants a little more independence, its naturally part of the journey, and it just naturally happens. a lot of moms and kids have trouble when there is a growth of independence, theres rebellion and hurt feelings, or whatever because it is a hard time. but i feel like i just know when to let go a little bit, and i can do so knowing i did everything i could or everything he needed me to do to get to that point. its easier to let go when you know you did everything you could to guide, nurture and parent your kid the way they needed you to. theres no guilt, theres no regret. ;)

the biggest thing you need to know is to trust yourself. you KNOW your daughter. you KNOW what she needs. obviously, naps arent a lost cause, its years before she needs to stop napping.
get some kind of routine down. even if you have to write it down. it doesnt have to be complicated; my rountine was to put my son down to sleep when he did ____ (rubbing eyes is a good one). he usually had a good nap around 10 am and another around 2 pm. or so. watch her carefully and see when those times are for your daughter. maybe shes falling to sleep too early or too late...

get a sling. the moby wrap is the most comfortable one i used, its online and i paid 50$ for mine. but im telling you, even if thats a budget stressing thing, you will wish you had done it earlier. that thing is MAGIC. if you can get any kind of carrier, its better than nothing.

make sure her sleep environment is right. very dim-dark with a night light, soft music or other white noise (we used that until our son moved to his own room, and now my husband uses it because hes addicted to the sound blocking - hes a light sleeper), make sure shes comfortable not too warm or too cold - check the back of her neck. too cold and shes gonna feel kinda clammy, too hot and shes gonna be flat out sweaty. see if she needs a comfort thing if she doesnt have one already, my son loved those little blankets with the bear head in the center of it LOL. just something simple, not a huge bear or something, but not a tiny one either. something that she can grasp in her hand, and snuggle with. if you are against pacifiers, thts fine, but it might help if you arent opposed to it. also, try putting a sippy of water (only water) in bed with her, in case she gets a little thirsty. i hope you find one that doesnt leak because you might just find a wet bed for a while.. LOL. if she has not used a sippy during the day yet that wont work, but you should start her out with a sippy; i dont know if you are nursing or using bottles, but either way, im sure shes on solids and possibly some juice, but never put water or juice in a bottle; use a sippy. my son started his at 7 months and he LOVED it so dont be afraid to offer her one. we had one that had little handles on each side and a soft spout.
so anyway, then maybe put a book or 2 in bed with her, or a quiet toy. my son would always go to bed with a stack of books, he would simply look at them for a while, then eventually just fall asleep. maybe when she wakes up she would see them, check them out and rest some more.

listen carefully to her cry when she wakes up. maybe its not as urgent of a cry? if shes screaming and your heart is breaking or aching, go get her, no question. but stop at the door sometimes nad listen to her cry and see if shes really urgent about it. like i said, with a book in there, maybe she will see that and get distracted and read the book and be fine for a while longer. fussing is sometimes ok - flat out crying is not. if shes just kinda wimpering or whatever, chances are you dont have to run right to her, but like i said, you are mama, you know her, you are the only person with the instincts given specifically for her... you follow them and you will never be wrong.

i kinda wrote a lot, and im sorry. but if you need clarification or something just shoot me a note. im all for supporting mamas and babies :)

We're a fan of "Healthy Sleep Habits" too. Why doesn't she have a schedule? Are you on the road alot? My kids sleep great (day and night) but I was purposeful in how we approached napping. At 8 months, my sons were sleeping 2 times during the day about 10-11:30 (or 9:30 - 11ish) and 2-4. Bedtime was between 6-8 depending on how they slept during the day, but usually 7pm. Try the book which has you tackle on sleep period at a time. But she cold use more than 30 minutes. Are you nursing on demand? She'd probably not hungry and just turning to you for comfort. I'd work on transitioning her to the crib asap and deal with the naps later.

Oh the similar world we live in. Mine is now 9 months and doing much better though. Everyone says sleep schedule sleep schedule well mine made his own and it sounds remarkable similar to the one everyone tells you to make except he sleeps for 30 minutes during the day and that's it. Some kids are just short nappers and unfortunately we both got one. Mine takes 3 30 minute naps a day so I see that as normal amount of naps. As for at night we always laid mine down in the crib in his room but somewhere between 6 and 7 months the sneaky little bugger somehow made it into our bed, lol. It was just easier I know. If you really want your LO out though you need to either move the crib to your room or a pack-n-play. We moved the pack-n-play in. We napped in our crib then at night we read books, walked, snuggled, nursed whatever he was used to to go to sleep. We then laid him in his crib. When he woke up I'd take him to our room and put him back to sleep however he liked. I would then lay him in the pack-n-play. He's still near us but not in bed with us. Now this is much easier said than done. He would wake up every time we laid him down because he wasn't in bed. Now you can do this two ways the I want him out asap or I just want to start moving him out. If it's ASAP then you have to be stern not look back pick him up put him to sleep hold on a while and lay him down until he stays down. We did the work him out method and would work on it until we both tried 3 times and then put him right back in bed to get some sleep. The next waking we did the same. A month later he's only waking twice and mom is back in bed without baby in 20 minutes. I know a lot of it was teething for waking so much and that's howhe snuck into my bed to begin with. It was easier but in a full bed not comfortable for me or hubby so he had to get out. HTH and feel free to message for support or questions

I read the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, by Marc Weissbluth, and found it really helpful.

She needs to be in a sleep routine. Start with her morning nap. You should put her down for her nap two hours after she wakes up -- so if she woke up at 6, she goes down at 8. When I established a morning nap for my 5 month old, he started sleeping 2-2 1/2 hours at a time, and then we established the afternoon nap, and then he started sleeping through the night, because he was getting enough daytime sleep. (Sleep begets sleep, as Weissbluth says.)

Good luck!

p.s. I did a little crying it out with my sons, and it was fine. They were happy babies, and now they are happy kids.

The best place to start, like Ingrid said, is with a solid routine during the day. Kids thrive on routine. The more routine (predictable) their day is, the more routine (predictable) their night will be. At 8 months, your daughter should typically be taking a very short morning nap (30-45 minutes) up for a bit, play, lunch and then a solid afternoon nap (1.5-2 hours) and then into bed at a reasonable time (depending on what time your day starts.) I have daycare kids that are ALL on the same schedule for afternoon nap and their ages range from 2 months to almost 4 years old. It is pure and simply routine. Good luck, let us know how things turn out!

All babies are different. My guy only started sleeping through the night at 2.5 years old. I have a friend with 4 kids and each one of them had different sleep styles, so I didn't stress too much. I totally get the tired thing!

I could never do cry-it-out, and she's so young, i would try to find another solution. I would check out your library and see what they have on the subject. I know there's a book called the "no cry sleep solution", and a few others. It may give you some ideas. Good luck!

So sorry to hear you are going through this. My son, 7 mos, is doing this power-napping thing too right now. He used to do the 1-2h naps, and now thinks that 30 mins will do him b/c he wants to play so much, but then he's fussy much quicker. Not sure HOW to deal with that.
However, I can tell you about the night routine that we have done since he was 2 wks old and he sleeps through the night now. Every night at 730 it is bathtime. Normally daddy does bathtime. Elliot really LOVES it. He has gotten to where he KNOWS when it is 730 and will start to get a little whiny if we don't get that bath going. But wait, it's a GOOD thing! So we do bathtime, then put on PJ', then bottle, then we put him down in his crib. CONSISTENCY is the name of the game. We have been doing this every single night since 2 wks old, so now he knows when it is bedtime and that he is getting a bottle and going to sleep. He does not fuss at night and goes right down now--no problem. Most of the time he sleeps til at least 6am, but sometimes wakes early if he's sick or something.
I think this routine might be a good way for you to get your little one into her own crib. She will know it's bedtime and this is what you do at bedtime soon enough. It really only takes about a week to establish a routine w/ babies at this age.
We took this routine/ advice from our neighbor right after we had our son, b/c she is a pediatrician and has her own young son. The great thing is that my son is down and sleeping by 830 every night and my husband and I have time to ourselves. It's a must for us or we would lose our minds!
If you have any other questions, let me know!
Hope this helps!